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March 14th, 2006


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12:23 pm - Oh, yeah:
I've also decided to start dating again.

No real idea who I'll date, but I figure I ought to give it a shot.

I'd initially thought about putting up an application (such things are wonderfully useful), but the gauntlet of questions was becoming far too detailed and frightening. Some example questions:

  1. What are your measurements?
    This included *all* measurements, but the most important one was ring size on the left ring finger. I'm a fan of having such measurements just in case they eventually become useful. The other measurements were primarily to be requested so that I could shop for the person.
  2. What's your gender?
    I may be 100% straight so far as I know, but I'm really not that picky about who I go out with, and hey, who knows? Maybe I just don't know what's going on. I'd just like to know how to identify a potential date when I meet them at the coffee shop.
  3. Got any STD's?
    Once again, I won't base my determination on who to date off of this. I'd just kinda like to know in advance, ya know?
  4. I'm called to being a Priest in a Neo-Pagan church. How's that affect you?
    As a central point in being broken up with by Tina, this one's important.
  5. I still live with my ex-girlfriend. We're damn good friends. What's your position on that? In particular, does it make you uncomfortable?
    I don't see this changing in the near future, so it's an important question.
  6. If I were asleep and you were my alarm clock, how would you wake me up?
    Oh, come on. You know you want to answer that one!


The central problem with the application, of course, is that it seems like I'm trying to weed people out. That's not the case.

The thing is, I don't really plan to be my usual picky self about dating. I'm interested in testing the waters, getting out there, and seeing what there is to see. The questions weren't at all designed to limit, but to expand my options. It also allowed me an honest way to get out information, like living with Tina still, and working on ordination, and so I saw it becoming a two-way street.

However, I figure I can get ahold of the information on my own, anyway.

So, no application.

But I'm available for dating.

As Jimmy Buffett sang, "I came off the rebound, started lookin' around, and figured out it's time to have a little fun. . ."
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "Migration", -JB
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[User Picture]
From:khep
Date:March 14th, 2006 06:34 pm (UTC)
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If you did it- I think it'd be important for applicants to make you fill out an application as well. That would make things more equal.

Good luck with dating!

[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:14 pm (UTC)
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Well, yeah. Love's a two-way street :) Gotta fill out the app they provide, too!
[User Picture]
From:qorinda
Date:March 14th, 2006 06:35 pm (UTC)
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They are all good and important questions, and I hope, if you meet someone you want to have more with, that you DO talk about these things.....
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:17 pm (UTC)
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Oh, believe me: I'm not shy about getting answers to important questions.

But I'm even less shy about getting answers to unimportant questions. My favourite question from the list was: "When I say "transforming mechanical dinosaurs," you think. . ."

But then, essay questions always get you the best answers.
From:ex_acousticd43
Date:March 14th, 2006 06:38 pm (UTC)
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Those are all superb questions. Good luck :)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:18 pm (UTC)
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Thanks :)
[User Picture]
From:raydon_12
Date:March 14th, 2006 06:43 pm (UTC)
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Its interesting how the concept of "dating" has changed over the last few decades. There was a time that when single people "dated" it meant they went out just to get to know each other, nothing else implied or expected. At other times "dating" implied that it was a serious relationship and that housing and rings were being shopped for. This is all variably depending on region and culture too.

I've noticed that things like this that are poorly defined and so highly variable are often the sources of so many troubles in our lives. Its amazing too how many people fail to actually have specific discussions on such things. Doing so could eliminate a great many potential problems.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:19 pm (UTC)
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*nods* I generally have to ask for clarification on the word "date". I've "dated", but really only ever been on one "date". It's funny.

So yeah: clarification rocks.
[User Picture]
From:daemonnoire
Date:March 14th, 2006 06:53 pm (UTC)
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I did something similar a few years ago. Here's a few questions you might find handy:

I write poetry. How do you feel about having poetry written about you?
If I were to update this to today, it would be "How do you feel about me writing in my LJ about you?" Because it's handy to know if that sort of thing would piss off a potential partner.

What is the last book you read for your own personal pleasure?
One guy answered this with "Field and Stream Magazine" which told me that a) he didn't understand the concept of a book and b) he wasn't interested in "heavy" reading.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:21 pm (UTC)
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*nods* a woman's gotta be okay with my open LJ.

Hey, that rhymes. :)

But it's a real issue: my LJ is very open, and while I don't talk about my personal relationships with others in general, I do talk about myself a lot :) And in that context, I can sometimes discuss thoughts that some might find personally offenseive if they're seeing me :)

And you can learn a lot from an application.
[User Picture]
From:ariansdreams
Date:March 14th, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC)
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I admire you for posting this.

After coming out of a long (3 year) relationship where I was engaged, and actually planned to marry that person, I know that it takes a *long* time to eventually get to the point that you are ready to date again.

I know I'm not there yet, but I've tried to force it a few times...and that didn't turn out so well.

So...yeah. I admire you for waiting till you were ready, and announcing it. Even if only a handful of people read this (which I doubt, but anyway), it's now out there in the universe!

Good luck! Your "application" questions are all good ones...I am sure that you will find someone great!
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:24 pm (UTC)
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Aw, not much to be admired, really. :)

My last relationship was seven years and two months. It lasted, at the time of breakup, over 1/3 of my life, and certainly my entire adult life. That breakup was actually a year ago on Mar. 13, so perhaps the timing isn't as coincidental as I thought.

I'm relaxed and taking my time about it. I've got a lot ot learn, after all.
[User Picture]
From:duriyah
Date:March 14th, 2006 09:15 pm (UTC)
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Good luck with the dating thing! I'm glad to hear you are getting out there again :)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:26 pm (UTC)
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Thanks. Should be an adventure. . .

*grabs fedora and whip*
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:March 14th, 2006 09:57 pm (UTC)
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This entry's a bunch of shit, if you ask me.

The REAL meat lies in what you think about IMPORTANT topics, like worms and mechanical dinosaurs. And measurements are well and good, but you should first ask what your partner is willing to wear. :D
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:27 pm (UTC)
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Haha. Note the response above about transforming mechanical dinosaurs.

This is merely a small sampling of the questions I was going to use. I'm thinking of a wider post that includes more questions.
[User Picture]
From:erienc
Date:March 14th, 2006 11:26 pm (UTC)
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LOL, You did it ... I have to say I had fun questions I was going to give for use in this, but oh well :)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:11 pm (UTC)
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I still want the questions :) I just. . . Yeah, it wasn't as good an idea as it first seems :)
[User Picture]
From:rfunk
Date:March 14th, 2006 11:43 pm (UTC)

No application, but warnings

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Of course no application -- who do you think you are, stega? ;-)

Some of those actually would work better as a sheet of warnings:

WARNING: chronarchy may ask for ALL your measurements much earlier than you might expect.
WARNING: chronarchy is 100% straight as far as he knows, but maybe he just doesn't know what's going on.
WARNING: chronarchy is called to being a Priest in a Neo-Pagan church. This has been known to have adverse effects on his relationships.
WARNING: chronarchy still lives with his ex-girlfriend, still a damn good friend. However, caution is advised since she is the one who initiated the breakup.
WARNING: chronarchy may ask you to be his alarm clock. Be creative.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:30 pm (UTC)

Re: No application, but warnings

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Not a sheet, I don't think, but actual labels. Like, stuck all over my body.

Not only will it obviously warn the women (and I'm generally convinced that all women need warning about me), but it will also save trees if I only have to print them up once. And we all know women find a man who's all about the environment to be hot.

So long as he knows how to bathe.
[User Picture]
From:mayden_dor
Date:March 14th, 2006 11:55 pm (UTC)
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1. 38 bust, 28 waist, 36 hips, bra size 36 C
2. Female
3. Nope
4. A man with ambitions. Hot.
5. I'm down with that. Is she hot?
6. head. :-D
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:32 pm (UTC)
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*nods*

We can work something out :)

You've just inspired me to post more questions from the list of questions I had. . .
From:latexpussy
Date:March 15th, 2006 12:04 am (UTC)
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You not putting up an application actually make me sad, and not just because now there is probably no longer a dating board of which I was going to be a member.

No, I am sad because I think in all the time I have known you, as your best friend I do not think I have ever been alone with just you and me for longer than five minutes. A date would pretty much guarantee at least a few hours of uninterrupted time.

[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:13 pm (UTC)
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If you get a signed permission slip from ferrelux, I can date you. I'd like a date with you, actually.

It would be the natural progression of our relationship, anyway. We'd go from the normal wild, passionate sex to bickering and arguing. . . I mean, dating. . .

Maybe we should just stick to the sex?
[User Picture]
From:3starsinmyeyes
Date:March 15th, 2006 03:09 am (UTC)
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i had to answer for the sheer fun of it ;)

What are your measurements?

cross that bridge later

What's your gender?

Female

Got any STD's?

Nope

I'm called to being a Priest in a Neo-Pagan church. How's that affect you?

I too am Pagan, this wouldn't bother me a bit

I still live with my ex-girlfriend. We're damn good friends. What's your position on that? In particular, does it make you uncomfortable?

It wouldn't make me uncomfortable, we would probably end up being friends, just as long as there is no jealousy or meanness going on, I wouldn't care.

If I were asleep and you were my alarm clock, how would you wake me up?

what? and devulge all my secrets?! surely you jest!

now I pose the same question to you, how would i be woken up?
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:33 pm (UTC)
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Breakfast in bed, I imagine, is the best way. :)
[User Picture]
From:lisbet
Date:March 15th, 2006 03:20 am (UTC)
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Congrats on starting the dating thing again! I hope you have wonderful experiences.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:33 pm (UTC)
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Here's hoping, yes :)
From:red_sput
Date:March 15th, 2006 05:31 am (UTC)
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Good luck. Let me know if you find a good way to go about dating. I'd like to have a relationship one day. At least I have an exam to worry about currently to keep my mind off such things.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 15th, 2006 01:35 pm (UTC)
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I'm not sure that there is a good way to go about dating.

But hey, I'm willing to give it a shot. Who knows: it might work out.

My exam was pretty good at keeping my mind off things.

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