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"Ode to a Burning Mouse" - Chronarchy

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May 2nd, 2006


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02:30 pm - "Ode to a Burning Mouse"
Today, around 9 AM, our usual cleaning lady came into our office. She was vacuuming (a shock, truly) and was getting under the front desk. She didn't bother to move the computers, though, and I watched in horror as her vacuum ate the cords connected to the back of the machine.

In the end, most were fine, but the mouse, I'm sorry to say, is a tad worse for wear.

I wrote this ode, for it should be noted that no one has ever told me I was too young to write odes:

"Ode to a Burning Mouse"

Behold, in the deep gray morn
A vacuum, wielded with scorn.
Lo, the mouse he doth bend
And never shall be on the mend.

With burning rubber the mouse did expire
Smelling quite like a burning tire.
Repugnantly cleaned, this room has been
And harmonious dust mites still live within.


I'm off to Desert Magic tomorrow morning, bright an early, and very much looking forward to it. I'd also like to point out that despite what I'm about to write, I'm not feelin' down. Just more or less confused.

"Eris gave birth to painful Distress and Distraction and Famine and tearful Sorrow."

When I open my text editor, the passage from the Theogany detailing Eris' children always opens on top.

In some ways, it's the way that I'm reminded of what Her patronage means: we make our own mistakes and messes. Eris begets the strife we cause within ourselves and between each other. She is the creator of man-made chaos.

I realized at some point yesterday, probably in the car going down to feed a friend's cat, that I really, honestly feel like I haven't made a good decision since . . . April 13. Yes, it's been that long, and I've felt that. . . out of sorts.

It's strange, the feeling that everything you do is going to go wrong, going to lead to more problems than you ever though it could. I feel like I pissed off half the people I love in my life, like I hurt them, like I have only made them angry or given them damn good reasons to hate me.

Not all of the decisions I made are resolved, which might have something to do with it, though I'm not sure of that. I'm still not eating well (though my appetite is coming back slowly, even when it takes a hit every so often). I've found that, unlike previous bouts with uncertainty, I have a need to talk this out on occasion (though I still like to choose when and how much). The problem with talking is that it sometimes just seems to lead to more pain, but yet I have to talk about it sometimes.

I'm not sleeping all that well, either. I've found only one thing gets me to sleeping right now, and I'm praying that I don't have that sort of trouble in Arizona: I sleep so much at Pagan festivals as it is, I don't need any more excuses to go to bed early (or in the middle of the day, especially given that workshop lineup).

For the most part, I feel like all this stuff is for me to deal with, to worry about. I don't particularly like burdening others with this stuff: I brought it all on myself, I caused this stuff. I recognize that. Maybe that makes it harder, or weirder, or just plain stupider.

My omen for the day, though, indicates things are lookin' up:

19. Yes, I will play for gumbo.

I'm incommunicado at the end of the day, kids. I'll see you on next Wednesday, when I'm back from Arizona :)
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "All the Ways I Want You", -JB

(16 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:tanrinia
Date:May 2nd, 2006 06:41 pm (UTC)
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bah. let me know how DPs workshop is.

::jealous::
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:May 2nd, 2006 06:43 pm (UTC)
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Oh, I'll certainly let you know. Promise.
[User Picture]
From:autumnfey
Date:May 2nd, 2006 08:24 pm (UTC)
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I'm know that others will offer and you will probably decline us all, but it is no burden in my mind to listen to a friend. And I'm so far removed from everything it might make it easier. Just wanted you to know my door is always open (and I mean this both figuratively and literally as I never lock my doors . . .)
From:perlgirlju
Date:May 2nd, 2006 09:04 pm (UTC)
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That poor mouse!
[User Picture]
From:rfunk
Date:May 2nd, 2006 09:22 pm (UTC)

Gone again

(Link)
And here I am toying with maybe possibly going back to Columbus this weekend, and you'll be gone again....

I've been thinking it might be good for you and me to talk, preferably in person. I'm interested in hearing about your stuff (if you're willing to share it), and I think you might be interested in mine, and I think we're both more reluctant than we should be to talk about it.
I brought it all on myself, I caused this stuff.
Yep, I know that feeling quite well.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:May 2nd, 2006 09:30 pm (UTC)

Re: Gone again

(Link)
If you'd like, when I get back, we can always use that thing. . . What's it called? A phone?
From:ceolnamara
Date:May 2nd, 2006 09:58 pm (UTC)
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I make bad decisions every day. Sometimes, I know they're bad decisions, and I do it anyway.

Sometimes, though, the bad decisions I fret about for months afterwards end up being very good things.

I am going to post something that reminds me of that mouse later tonight. Just thought I'd mention that :-)
[User Picture]
From:capriciouslass
Date:May 2nd, 2006 10:32 pm (UTC)
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It's strange, the feeling that everything you do is going to go wrong, going to lead to more problems than you ever though it could. I feel like I pissed off half the people I love in my life, like I hurt them, like I have only made them angry or given them damn good reasons to hate me.

I have a lot of days like this. I have many more where I think that people are just ignoring me so that I don't piss them off further.
I don't think it's really that way for either of us, it's just making an assumption without sufficient facts.


But, I love my omen for the day:

182. Take a holiday, you need a holiday.
From:bloodlikerain
Date:May 3rd, 2006 03:34 am (UTC)
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The problem with talking is that it sometimes just seems to lead to more pain, but yet I have to talk about it sometimes.

you sir, have found my biggest problem for the past 3 years.
[User Picture]
From:creature_tamer
Date:May 3rd, 2006 04:33 am (UTC)
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Have fun, stay safe, and sheesh man... when you are going to move into the 21st century and get an optical mouse? Once you go optical you never want to go back. Get the university to buy one for you. Tell them it's actually cheaper than having to constantly replace your trackball mouse.
From:perlgirlju
Date:May 4th, 2006 12:43 am (UTC)
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Optical mice still have cords though...
[User Picture]
From:creature_tamer
Date:May 4th, 2006 01:43 am (UTC)
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You can get them either with cords or cordless. I use the kind with a cord so the optical components can draw power from the USB. It's either that or change batteries every tenth click of the mouse button.

The point, though, is that an optical mouse is smoother and nicer to use. The fact that the trackball had nothing to do with the destruction of the old mouse is mostly irrelevant in the grand scheme of the universe.
[User Picture]
From:healing_coyote
Date:May 8th, 2006 01:03 am (UTC)
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miss you
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:May 10th, 2006 12:18 pm (UTC)
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I wrote you a letter before I left, but I haven't sent it yet (got too busy with the crush of packing).

Miss you, too, sexy.

I'll drop you a line soon. And, of course, drop that letter in the box.
[User Picture]
From:erienc
Date:May 10th, 2006 11:13 am (UTC)
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miss you babe
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:May 10th, 2006 12:29 pm (UTC)
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Miss you, too.

Of course, I was never really without you around.

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