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Buffett, Babes, Bikinis. . . You know, the usual - Chronarchy

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February 27th, 2007


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04:38 pm - Buffett, Babes, Bikinis. . . You know, the usual
As I was looking for something online the other day (I believe I was seeking the proper title of the song I was listening to during yesterday's post, not that it was short enough for me to fit in the "music" box, anyway), I came across a good article about what it is about Buffett that I really like.

Today, I found some info about Jimmy Buffett's tour schedule (looking sparse at the moment), and noticed two things:
  1. Buffett has a new beer available: LandShark Lager
  2. Buffett has teamed up with SI again, which means I'm buying a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition again this year.
First, the Lager.

I find it amusing that the description reads like this: "Brand new from Margaritaville - LandShark Lager! LandShark Lager is a refreshing, drinkable island lager brewed with a complex blend of hops giving the beer a distinctive hop note taste."

I'm particularly focusing on the fact that it is described as "drinkable". I admit, I would hope for as much from my beer. You can, if you feel the need, check out the site at http://www.landsharklager.com/

Now, the SI Swimsuit Issue has never been my cup o' meat. I mean, sure, it's nice to see scantily clad ladies running around with a guitar. Who doesn't want to see that? Sure, you can count their ribs, but that's sexy, right? Right?

Despite that, I have a bad habit of reading "men's magazines" for one of two things: the articles or the gimicks. Sure, laugh if you want, but since Maxim pulled a number of their Cosmo-esque articles, I haven't bought a single issue, and some of the girls have gotten a lot hotter. But then, that's my normal nature: women just aren't enough to sell me on anything, contrary to popular belief. There has to be a lot more, like a yellow stripe on the corner of the cover that says, "Free yellow corner stripe with purchase!"

Yes, I once bought a Maxim solely because of that particular marketing gimick.

The only Playboy I ever purchased was bought because I had a dream (A DREAM I TELL YOU!) of buying beer and porn on my BuckID card (the university ID card, which acts as a debit card). I never did manage the beer portion of that, btw.

But it was Buffett, that hero in a Hawaiian shirt, who got me to buy my first SI Swimsuit Edition. Two years ago, it came with a short video and the title song from his new album, License to Chill. I wanted the single (I didn't know it was actually part of an album to be released later), and the chance for a video is always amusing and fun to me. On top of that, there was also an article by Buffett in the issue, and I love his matter-of-fact writing style and his storytelling. It's good stuff.

So now that there's something aside from girls in bikinis, I'm all about going to pick up this issue.

And I reiterate: you all have permission to laugh at my "articles" assertion.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "Boats To Build", -JB

(28 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:raydon_12
Date:February 27th, 2007 10:09 pm (UTC)
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"Sure, you can count their ribs, but that's sexy, right? Right?" NOT!! hehehehe

The only time I like to see the outline of ribs is on my dinner plate with some honey bbq sauce!! And since long pig went out with the Pacific explorers and the Donners, I'd rather not see it on the girls.

A girl can be trim and svelt without being emaciated *shudders*

actually, that Landshark doesn't sound revolting, might have to pick up a pack just because :)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 27th, 2007 10:23 pm (UTC)
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I'm no beer man, myself, so I can't comment on its taste. It just amused me quite a bit that he named a beer after the antagonists in "Fins", especially given the "old men in tank-tops" description he gives of them in the "Margaritaville" lost verse. . .
[User Picture]
From:raydon_12
Date:February 27th, 2007 10:27 pm (UTC)
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hehehe, The beer should be good if its as blatantly subtle as the references LOL

I've never heard the Margaritaville lost verse. I may have to look that up some day. Is there a recording of it floating around somewhere?
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 02:16 pm (UTC)
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You can find the lost verse on one CD, called "Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays".

It runs like this:

"Old men in tank-tops cruisin' the gift shops
checkin' out chicitas down by the shore
They dream about weight loss
Wish they could be their own boss
Those three-day vacations become such a bore!"

And then it follows into blowing out the flip-flop, etc, etc.
[User Picture]
From:raydon_12
Date:February 28th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)
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Wow, I saw some of those when I spent a day on Catalina Island in September!!
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 03:10 pm (UTC)
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Hehe. So, you've seen this wildlife in its natural habitat, eh? :)
[User Picture]
From:raydon_12
Date:February 28th, 2007 03:12 pm (UTC)
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definitely in the natural state and in full rut :)

What concerns me is how easily I could join them hehehe
[User Picture]
From:creature_tamer
Date:February 28th, 2007 02:42 am (UTC)
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I have to admit, my first thought was of Skeletor's "evil monster vehicle." That would make a much better illustration for the bottle's label, anyway.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 02:17 pm (UTC)
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Yes! I fully agree!

But then, anything associated with Skeletor makes all things better.
[User Picture]
From:ramona66
Date:February 28th, 2007 03:38 am (UTC)
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baby you can count my ribs lol
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 02:16 pm (UTC)
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Mmmm . . . One. . . two. . .three. . .
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:February 28th, 2007 02:45 pm (UTC)
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Do you keep your Maxims near your toilet?

If you do, regardless of whatever claim you make, your credibility will just plummeted.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 02:59 pm (UTC)
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No, but I brought them down to the basement a while ago because I was looking for an article in one and haven't taken the box back up to my bookshelves yet. :)

But then, keep in mind that folk need something to read on the toilet. It's just. . . Well, it's required that you entertain your guests in all rooms in your house!
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:February 28th, 2007 03:11 pm (UTC)
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Haha well just so you know girls notice when they visit your house and you got porn on the toilet. If they're me, they probably think "Plus five," but if they're other girls, they might think, "Gross, what a pervert." Play yer cards carefully. You've got enough gross pervy points working against you already. ;)


Oh and slight tangent, don't you agree that when I get a swimsuit for spring break it should have a knife holster on it? I can't figure out why those are not more common. Strapping one to my leg would leave a weird-ass tanline!

[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 03:16 pm (UTC)
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Often considered one of the greatest bikinis ever Ursula's had a knife attached. And yes, I fully agree yours should too.

Those landsharks will be swarmin' around you like nothin' else. You may need protection.

As for the porn, maybe I'll make you a personal secret stash in my bathroom, just so I can get that plus five.
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:February 28th, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)

LOL

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First of all, I was indeed thinking of Bond. I was thinking of Halle Barry, though, whose swimsuit is ORANGE! Sadly I would look awful in the bikini above... my freakin' skin is the colour of that fabric. -_- Barwick and I should have great fun burning alive while the rest of our foreign roomies acquire deep tans. :P I wonder what colour swimsuit could minimize the crazy paleness of a German girl from tropical Ohio? :P

Secondly, your comment about porn almost made me burst out laughing... I didn't mean that I like it there for *ME*, but because it means the guy whose bathroom I'm using is probably horny. :D
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 03:37 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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Halle's was based off of Ursula's bikini. It was designed as a throwback to the original Bond Girl :)

I don't know how to help you with the tans, other than offer to rub lotion on you, but I'm sure there will be plenty of hot men willing to do that down south. . . You totally don't need me for it :)

But the question remains: if there were porn there for you, would that earn me plus five, or would it actually be worth a bit more?
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:February 28th, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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Hmm I don't imagine there will be many landsharks on the boat. Pirates, maybe, and grizzled sea admirals, and maybe James Bond... that's a more realistic guess. We wouldn't want to be getting our hopes up only to have them dashed.

And as for the porn, I'd automatically assume all porn in there was for you, so if you had naked men and stuff I'd probably just think you were gay. And that doesn't get you any extra points.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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I'm male. By virtue of this amazing fact, I believe that all women secretly want to make out with other women for my benefit.

Of course any porn I got you would include naked women.

Call it "hope outrunning reality."
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:February 28th, 2007 04:34 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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Women are sexy, let's not lie about it. We look cooler naked than we have any right to. ;)

As for the making out, hey, it happens. Barwick and I occasionally make out when we've been drinking. I'm not sure why this is so attractive -- are men so excited that they fail to notice the implied insult of "I'd rather make out with her than you because she's a better kisser"? Because tragically, that's why it happens. ;P

Did I tell you about the guy on Friday who absolutely refused to believe that I live in the same house as barwick, michaela, hina, and weifei? It was as though the very thought of us living together initiated pornographic fantasies! Why is it that six women can't live together and NOT have X-rated slumber parties with each other or whatever sick shit you guys imagine happening? :P
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 04:43 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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You mean. . . you don't have X-rated slumber parties with each other or whatever sick shit I imagine happening?

My world has just fallen to pieces, as if the world had shattered from the core.

As for why guys like women making out and/or getting nekkid in pairs?

It's two women. Naked. And you're watching.

What is there not to love?
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:February 28th, 2007 05:46 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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Watching is borrrring. I'm more of a participatory person. I learn by doing, not eyeing!
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 05:47 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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Mind if I watch you learn sometime?
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:February 28th, 2007 06:22 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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Learn what?

*big doe eyes*
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2007 06:24 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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At this point in the conversation?

Anything.
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:February 28th, 2007 06:26 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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Ummm YES.

But somebody's gotta help my tuition...
[User Picture]
From:rfunk
Date:February 28th, 2007 06:20 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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I don't think he ruled out participating if invited....
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:February 28th, 2007 06:27 pm (UTC)

Re: LOL

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So passive. That's the problem with boys these days. So passive. ;)

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