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Fair Trade Cannibalism, Expensive Oils, and Spam Divination - Chronarchy

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February 20th, 2008


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10:20 am - Fair Trade Cannibalism, Expensive Oils, and Spam Divination
I suddenly think that the world needs more Anglicans. They have fair trade communion wine.

What interests me most about this is, once it's transubstantiated, does that make Christ fair trade as well? (Not that all Anglicans believe in transubstantiation, but still. . . it's a fair question: I hear fair trade cannibalism is all the rage.)

Of course, we've been purchasing locally-made and organic stuff for years for our rituals, and working our way into free trade products as often as possible (though it's hard to find free trade certified sacrifices, truth be told).

As an example, the olive oil that we've used is imported from Greece, and it was the first organic olive oil available from Greece that's for sale in the States. It's made on a cooperative farm (i.e. a "co-op") on the Mani Peninsula in Greece. The issue is this: it's expensive (about $15/500 mL) and it doesn't come in the giant bulk metal vats here in the States. One bottle lasts about one and a half rituals. We spend far more on olive oil than we do on silver for our rites, and that says something.

Now, we're not tied to our particular brand (Kalamata Gold), but the search for something of an equally high quality that is cheaper hasn't been so fruitful (no puns intended). Not too long ago, I found that my Grove had an inside joke about me and the olive oil I buy, and I'm not surprised.

The issue is that we've had bad experiences with cheap olive oil as a Grove. The most memorable one was when I was preparing for an Imbolc rite three years ago and dropped a bottle full of olive oil in the kitchen just before the rite. I had just grabbed the bottle from our cupboards earlier that week and put it with the ritual gear: it was just the normal oil we used for cooking every day (which I naturally figured would be just fine). We've had oils that just wouldn't burn (or, worse, nearly put out the fire on one occasion), and oils that have broken or tipped during transportation. We have never, though, had any trouble with this brand.

In any event, the Druids of Columbus, OH, have never been the kind of people to buy sacrifices without a lot of thought and some real consideration toward what the sacrifice means. And that is a comforting thought to me.

On a side note, when I get spam like this:

There were sledgehammerhead sharks, and what a surprise, eightyfour crabs,

I often think, "You know, I should really make a spam oracle for my site. . ." I wouldn't be the first to come up with the idea (I've seen SpamPoetry and SpamScrying), but it would be entertaining.

And it might make more sense than either Jimmy or Homer. It would certainly make more sense than the Christians.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "Take Another Road", -JB

(15 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


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From:kargach
Date:February 20th, 2008 04:51 pm (UTC)
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I'm intrigued by your experiences with cheap olive oil. I've actually been using a bottle of blended olive/soybean oil that I got from Dollar Tree (17 fl. oz., I'll let you work out how much it cost) for my personal offerings for the last several months and had no problems with it. Maybe my gods are just cheap. >8)
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From:chronarchy
Date:February 20th, 2008 05:19 pm (UTC)
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I can't say as I can explain it. It's just odd, and it's led us to sticking with this brand over others (you can only have so many bad experiences before you give up sometimes). :)

I should note, though, that I don't use the expensive stuff in my personal practice, either. Well, not usually (I sometimes do). And really, the cheap stuff works just fine. Just, weirdly, the Grove has had issues. . .
[User Picture]
From:kargach
Date:February 20th, 2008 11:21 pm (UTC)
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Hey, you hafta go with what the omens tell ya.
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From:tesinth
Date:February 20th, 2008 06:19 pm (UTC)
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All I have to say is that Olive Oil is evil, pure evil...
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From:autumnfey
Date:February 20th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
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I have nothing substantial to say, just wanted to tell you I like your new picture.
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From:wylde_chylde99
Date:February 20th, 2008 08:08 pm (UTC)

spam oracle

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thats actually a really good idea!
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From:smithing_chick
Date:February 20th, 2008 08:54 pm (UTC)
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We tend to use good whiskey rather than oil. Works great, even with the candle we use for indoor rites. Sounds like it'd be cheaper, too. (In my case it definitely is, as the whiskey I use is from a large bottle I inherited from my grandfather by virtue of being the only whiskey drinker left in the family.)

[User Picture]
From:verginiamus
Date:February 20th, 2008 11:07 pm (UTC)
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I would like to see a sledgehammered shark. Nurse sharks, whale sharks basking sharks, tiger sharks....

What next a nailgun shark?
[User Picture]
From:romandruid
Date:February 21st, 2008 01:02 am (UTC)
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Now in all this time, I hadn't realized you also had a Christian oracle. So what fool thing did I do, but say to myself, "Huh," and click on the link.

I really should know better than to fool around with your darn oracles... 176. Repent; the thing will happen to you.

My first reaction was to reach for my red pen and circle the word "thing" for being a fluffy, vague, meaningless word. My second reaction was to wonder how long it's been since I've been to Confession. And then I remembered this is coming from Chronarchy -- that and the obligatory eyeroll was all.
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From:whereismypraire
Date:February 21st, 2008 05:09 am (UTC)
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I totally dig your new icon :)
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From:druid_medb
Date:February 23rd, 2008 02:20 am (UTC)

Olive Oil

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You are in luck! I live 30 minutes from the olive capitol of the US, Corning, CA. My folks live there and I visit "The Olive Pit", a local store that sells nothing but olives and olive products on a monthly basis.

Our local farmer's market also has olive oils available that are 100% certified organic, although the owner is the brother of my Mother's husband's demonic ex-wife so we don't buy from them too often.

Let me know if you'd like us to send you some and we'll work something out.
[User Picture]
From:druid_medb
Date:February 23rd, 2008 02:22 am (UTC)

Re: Olive Oil

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From:deedeehopskotch
Date:February 24th, 2008 11:30 pm (UTC)
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From:singingwren
Date:February 28th, 2008 03:33 pm (UTC)
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Back when we worked at Greif, Barwick and I used to forward each other the most bizarre spam and try to piece stories out of it.

I love the example you shared, if only because if includes "and what a surprise..." Haha.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:March 10th, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
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Spam is great. Sometimes, it's a huge list of randomly inserted words, but I've actually gotten excerpts of poetry by Poe, or a paragraph from 10 000 leagues under the sea. I'm part of Spam poetry on LJ under the name 'souvenirdarling'. Good times.

SpamOracle sounds great - I'm in. However, I don't seem to get that kind of spam anymore.

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