Chronarchy

Money, Music, Shirts, and Joss Whedon

2009-12-01T15:06:15Z

It has been some time since I have posted. I apologize for the delay.

1. After years of checking my credit card balance monthly (and several months earlier this year of checking it almost daily as I was paying it off), I find that I feel odd if I don't check my account balance. . . though it is nice to open it up and find that the balance is still $0.

2. On a related note, I've gone through three rather rough months with money, but I've been fortunate that none dropped me below the $0 mark in my bank account (though I did once hit the $3.47 mark. . . the Friday of Thanksgiving). This past month, one of my cats couldn't urinate (to quote the vet, "You don't know how great it is you can pee until you can't, huh?"), so that pretty well drained my cash at the beginning of November, and I subsisted off a dangerously low account until the end of the month. It's caused me to re-think this whole "Oh, I don't need a credit card" notion that I had back in August when I finally hit a $0 balance on the credit card. I need to build some capital before I can actually get rid of my cards, it seems. I'm glad that I've kept my card open, and have no intention of closing it out, but it is nice to not have that thing weighing me down.

3. It appears that my music collection ceased to expand in the late '90's, and that the collection really should be encased in a flannel. Sure, I own a few recent albums, some that don't have Jimmy Buffett's name on them, but by-and-large, music appears to have died for me somewhere around New Miserable Experience or Garbage, to say nothing of my deep-seated curiosity that often asks, "Where the hell did the Seattle Sound go?" I don't consider myself any sort of music connoisseur, but when I was exposed to that weird grunge-punk fusion that hit the airwaves in the early '90's, I ws hooked. But at ComFest this year, I finally heard a band that peaked my interest: Miss Molly. They're pretty new, local, only have one album, and that album is only available at shows at this point, but I'm excited about the concert at the Thirsty Ear on Dec. 18th, where I'll finally get ahold of the album. seamus_mcnasty and I will be there. . . anyone else want to join us?

4. I am enamoured with today's Shirt.Woot shirt. Also, one from a couple of days ago.

5. I have now watched the entire 7-season run of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the 5-season run of Angel, and have come to the conclusion that while Firefly was pretty damn awesome (seriously, go watch it: it's a Western. . . in space!) and Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog was also cool, Joss Whedon can really write some crap shows when he sets his mind to it. I had always been unimpressed with Buffy (and the only episode I had ever actually watched, the "Dracula" episode, really lowered the bar in terms of expectations), but having now seen the entire series, I can say that my initial thoughts on the program were clearly incorrect: it was worse than I had feared. Angel, the spin-off, is clearly a temper tantrum about not being allowed to work with a Batman franchise, particularly in the beginning, though it becomes less-so in about Season 5. I will admit to enjoying Spike as a character, but I don't think that his scenes were necessarily enough to make me enjoy such a predictable, simple set of artless story arcs. I prefer Dollhouse, which isn't that good, either.

6. I am currently engaged in an interesting conflict, where I am as stressed as hell about a number of work-related items, but astoundingly happy and joyful about my homelife, and deeply in love. I'm pleased with the way many things are going, wish I had more time for so many other things, and find myself hoping that one of these days, it'll all work out, just like this. . . You know, forever. . .

Tweets from Twitter

2009-11-13T17:02:33Z

10:38 @JustCallMeJamie I believe that your note about the authorship of that review is entirely correct, of course. #
10:42 Bards of approaching Dawn, who know the heavens, are come with hymns to throw the mountain open! RV V.45: bit.ly/2HsaNC #

Indeed, you may follow me on Twitter

Ritual Performance Clinics, and the CTP3 Plan

2009-11-04T19:05:02Z

There's been interest in setting up a sort of Ritual Performance Clinic for the Grove. I've been brainstorming, and I'm currently looking at about 7 different sessions:

Cosmological Issues

Exercise: Cosmos Clinic

Ritual Space – Configuration, Management, and Use

Exercise: Ritual Setup

Praying With a Good Fire – Choosing Focus, Writing Prayers, Making Offerings

Exercise: Three Prayers in Three Minutes

Ritual Scaling – Considerations for Small, Medium, and Large Rites

Exercise: Classification and Scaling

Running a Rite – From Outlines to Fire Extinguishers

Exercise: "Lickity-Split"

Performance Concerns – Vocalization, Nerves, Memorization, and Engaged Reading

Exercise: Warmups and Rundowns

Wrap-up – Punting, Casting, and Trust

Exercise: none yet

I am thinking about opening this up beyond just our Grove, since we have so many folk in the area, and doing it on a Saturday in December to give folks who can make a day-trip down (or up, as the case may be) a chance to do so.

Depending on a few things, there may be a small charge to attend, too. It would be nice if, should I decide that we need materials (and we most certainly will, if I do what I'd like to do) or need to rent space, I don't have to cover it myself. Of course, if any charge comes into it, it's got to be a well-done program, and it should be reasonable enough that anyone could afford it (I'm thinking $5-$10, if I can manage to keep it at that level).

Then, of course, I hope to have an OL article out of at least a few of these sections.

I have also come up with a set of goal completion dates for my CTP 3 work, in hopes of becoming eligible to apply for Ordination as an ADF Priest before Summerland 2010. (For those scoring at home, I'm consecrated as an ADF Dedicant Priest; ordination is the next step, and confers ADF Priesthood for life. . . assuming the Priest remains in ADF, of course.)

A new job in ADF

2009-11-03T15:29:34Z

As of November 1, 2009, I became the ADF Clergy Council Preceptor via appointment from the Archdruid. This means that it's my job to:

review CTP submissions that come in;
keep the process of voting and approval for Initiate Path and Clergy Training Program entrants on track;
ensure reviews of Dedicant Path documentation are completed for both the IP and CTP; and
ensure that all this is done in a timely manner.

I am fortunate that I do not bear responsibility for CTP 1 work (it's GSP work, mainly, which goes to the GSP Preceptor) and that I have the ability to appoint deputies for when the amount of grading gets out of hand.

Interestingly, after having been in ADF for nearly a decade, this is the first real position of responsibility I have had with the exception of Senior Druid and Dedicant Priest, both minor roles in the scheme of things in ADF. It's still not an elected position on the organizational level, but it's probably the most visible position I will hold in the foreseeable future.

I tend to aim for an expected turn-around time of 1 week for submission reviews, and now I'm in a position to actually make that sort of promise for the program I'm administering. In the past, I have been responsible only for my own turnaround times on reviews, but I now find myself as the place where the buck stops.

Another issue is that I have had the luxury to consistently pass off submissions from people close to me to other reviewers to ensure that their work is not unfairly questioned because I might be partial to their work. I have often worried about impressions that I play favourites, or that I might grade someone easier because I know them well (those who know me and have submitted to me also know that I am actually a right bastard when it comes to their work, and I'm actually a bit harder on them in general because I often know that they can do better). I can't really do that anymore, as we have such a tiny pool of reviewers to work from and such a large number of students; I will have to take many submissions I would not have taken in the past, and I will have to trust that folk trust me to not let anyone pass if they do not meet the requirements. Given my own general insecurities, I suspect it will be harder for me to believe in that trust than it will be to actually gain it.

Anyway, I am hoping to make the processes that I engage in more visible, more accessible, and more timely. We shall see how that goes, but I am hoping for something I can really work with.

Oh, and Chronarchy.Com has a front page update.

Tweets from Twitter

2009-10-29T16:00:08Z

09:30 My ADF Clergy Training Program Circle 2 work is now complete. On to CTP 3! Thanks to all those who have provided support and encouragement! #

Indeed, you may follow me on Twitter

CTP 2 completed

2009-10-29T13:23:00Z

I received word this morning that my Ethics 1 course, the last outstanding course for my Clergy Training Program Circle 2 work, has been approved. I cleaned up the document (removed comments and such that were a byproduct of the grading) and sent it back in, so an announcement should go out later today.

I'm very proud of the work I did on this circle, particularly on Ethics 1, actually (I was afraid that I would be stuck in endless re-writes on this course, and I ended up with only one minor re-write to contribute). I have found that I have been able to use this training beyond my roles in ADF, and much of it has worked its way into my secular work life as well.

This does several things for me: 1) it puts another Circle of training behind me and allows me to really dig into the next round of courses without worrying about re-writes on previously-submitted courses; 2) organizationally, it provides me with demonstrated work for further extensions of my clergy credentials (I am entering my third year as an ADF Priest now); and 3) it gives me a much-needed confidence boost to keep myself on-track for course completion.

I saw real personal growth as I worked my way through this Circle. I'm a very different person now than I was three years ago, and I think that is for the better. I look forward to the changes that come from my work on CTP3.

Tomorrow, I'll be updating my website, Chronarchy.Com in preparation of this new Circle of training. It has been a full year since I last updated the front page with new material (rather than just course completions), and I am looking forward to several changes in the way the page is built and the focus on it.

"Twitter is for old people."

2009-10-28T16:59:52Z

Recently, I have been listening to NPR on my way to and from work. It makes me feel like there's no reason to flip on The News Hour With Jim Lehrer after work. Anyway, I have been enjoying the shot of news and information presented in general, and some things in particular.

One of my favourite stories recently, "Facebook, MySpace Divide Along Social Lines," discussed who uses MySpace versus Facebook. But the best part was the last line of the story, "Twitter is for old people."

I laughed for about an hour when I heard that.

And it's totally true. Twitter really is for people who think they're on the "cutting edge," but it's really a sign (like watching the News Hour or listening to NPR) that one is just getting old. There aren't many kids on it, and the median age of Twitter users is older than me. Twitter seems to be the internet equivalent of yelling, "Hey, you teenagers! Get off my lawn!" Except that it's less effective.

Social networking appears to be a good way to be behind the times, most recently. The days of FaceBook and MySpace are shortening, I imagine, and soon the kids will come up with the next big thing, which they'll abandon as soon as they realize that the old farts have found it.

So says a guy who listens to NPR, watches the News Hour, has MySpace and LinkedIn and FaceBook accounts, and has a TwitStream on Twitter. The best part is, I'm below the median age of everything but MySpace users. . . and I'm "old."

Crane Order Announcement

2009-10-28T13:15:10Z

For years, Three Cranes Grove, ADF, has honoured the Crane in our rituals and in our fellowship. To us, the Crane has long been more than just a name: the Crane is a symbol of transformation and service, both internally and externally. We hope now to bring this symbol into the lives of others within ADF through an ADF Order.

The ADF Order of the Crane is an Order based on a complex of devotional and transformative work. The Order and its members will work to serve ADF by developing ritual, liturgy and tradition at our hearth shrines and as part of a wider community. Order members will develop rituals to build and respond to transformative experience. Through all this work, the image, motif, and personality of the Crane will inform our path, and we will adopt and adapt the traits of the Crane, as presented in myth and lore, to be our guide on this path.

We have created a temporary website on the 3CG site, which will be placed on the ADF site after the Order is formally approved. The site includes our bylaws, initial meditations, and a link for joining our mailing list. You may view the site here:

http://www.threecranes.org/order/

Additionally, there is a book available for our members that outlines the work of each level of the Order of the Crane. The book is a first step, a general working guide that includes a devotional ritual, all requirements for advancement in the Order, discussion on the myth and symbolism of the Crane, and other important tidbits about the Order. There is no need to be a member of the Order to purchase the book, and you may find it at:

http://www.cafepress.com/adfcraneorder.407816289

The Order itself is designed to work for both Grove-affiliated members and Solitary members, and there is an emphasis on solitary work done at the home shrine, and and advancement within the program can be done alone or with a group.

To be clear, this Order is not an extension of Three Cranes Grove, ADF, other than on a most basic level: this work with the Crane began in 3CG, but not all 3CG members are Order Members, and not all Order Members are 3CG members. This order is designed to delve deeper into the motifs of the Crane, and while some overlap with existing crane-centric traditions like 3CG is expected, we hope that it will be but one facet of an independent, growing and changing Order.

It's a day for books!

2009-10-23T20:01:14Z

Two awesome books were released today:

Ceisiwr Serith's book on Proto-Indo-European Religion, Deep Ancestors: Practicing the Religion of the Proto-Indo-Europeans has appeared on Amazon and I have ordered my copy. You may know his name from his other books, The Pagan Family and the book that I consider to be the best book about Neo-Paganism available, A Book of Pagan Prayer.
The ADF Order of the Crane Book is finished and in production, with an advance announcement out to people currently on the Order list. A further announcement is likely to happen shortly for the remainder of ADF and for everyone else. Watch this blog and ADF-Announce ;)

It's been a hell of a week, from a terrifying 562% that I saw at work last night to a loss of seven years of e-mail on Tuesday. If you sent me something via e-mail and hoped I'd respond, it's a safe bet that if it was important you need to try again. I managed to recover nearly all of it, but a lot of stuff is permanently gone.

On the bright side, I've inadvertently cleared out a major backlog of un-responded-to e-mail, so I feel like I'm starting all fresh-and-clean. We'll see how long *that* lasts.

Tweets from Twitter

2009-10-22T16:02:45Z

13:20 @acousticdryad I wonder how many people leave the lists (or worse, ADF) with the general atmosphere of ADF-Discuss as their only reason? #
15:03 O men, bring forth the most propitious Agni, first ensign of the sacrifice to eastward. RV III.29: bit.ly/1q8Hmk #

Indeed, you may follow me on Twitter

Sometimes, prayers are more than they first seem. . .

2009-10-21T13:32:29Z

The year has come around to that odd time, where sunrise occurs during my morning commute. This makes my devotional life harder, as my sunrise prayers are often done "on the go" in one way or another. This morning, I found myself praying in the car as I drove.

I feel privileged that the prayer I speak each morning can still send chills through my entire body. This morning, as I drove down Indianola, I felt goosebumps develop from head to toe, every hair on my body standing up in rapt attention to the words I spoke.

Many would call the prayer "rote" simply because it is memorized. There is a notion, particularly within Noe-Paganism, that memorization brings a "fake" quality to the words spoken, a "going through the motions" aspect to our religion that many reject. I tend to call this prayer not "rote," but "well-loved."

The prayer is spoken differently every morning: some days, the prayer gently passes my lips, hardly louder than my breath; other days, I speak it with loud passion in a voice that reaches deeply into my soul; still others, the words roll out strongly as I describe to an unseen audience the maiden on the rim of the world, and then hush as I describe that glimpse of her and what it does to me. Each day brings a new prayer with the same words, new feelings to the oft-quoted phrases.

As each phrase passes my lips, feelings well up, images appear and dissipate, and a noetic quality settles in. The prayer brings Usas into being, casting a reality upon her, which in turn draws her reality into the world and across the horizon. There is knowledge that without her there would be no prayer, and without the prayer, I would never see her and love her in the way that I do. Because of this, it is important for me to pray each morning. For those who have not read the words before, they are:

A maiden dancing, dancing
on the rim of the world.
Resplendent, Radiant.
I blush to see you rise from your bath
the colours of the morning drip from your bosom
as you open the ways for the sun.
Greetings, Usas, who opens the gates of heaven.

It was not written with meter in mind, or thoughts that I might still be doing this three years later (the prayer was first written Sept. 25, 2006), but it was written when I was very attentive to the dawn. That rapt attention is what made this prayer something deeper than a few lines, and what prevents it from ever becoming rote. I never dreamed that I would pray this prayer on the slopes Mt. Olympus, or in the Arizona desert, or in the cold-and-damp Brushwood spring. I never dreamed that it would keep the fires burning on my altar so reliably, or bring me in such close contact with the synthesis of prayer and flame. I never dreamed that it would bring me a reputation for piety, or force me to rearrange my social life (my sunset prayer to Ratri, equally as deep and wonderful, prevents me from viewing movies during certain times of the year since they often straddle sunset).

This prayer speaks to and for my soul every morning, even after all this time.

Tweets from Twitter

2009-10-20T16:12:43Z

16:51 Of Fathers whom we know and whom we know not: accept the sacrifice well-prepared with portions. RV X.15: bit.ly/LcWpz #

Indeed, you may follow me on Twitter

Mapping the Otherworld

2009-10-19T15:48:46Z

I have recently become very interested in the notion of otherworld maps. Part of this is a desire to understand my own initiatory journey, and to use them as a method of "comparing notes" to druidkirk and others who have or will go through this initiatory experience. You'd be surprised, though, how complicated it can be to actually locate a map of the otherworld.

I spent some time (about three weeks, actually, at this point) seeking out and examining maps of the otherworld. Many are drawn on the drums used to send people into ecstatic trances, and depict the upper and lower worlds. It is interesting to me that the lower world often seems "deeper" than the upper world is "high". This could be a trick of the egg-shaped drums that one often finds, or it could be that the drum is a reflection of this deeper underworld.

It interests me that there is a notion in almost all of them of a center space, and also a notion of that axis mundi that cuts through the center. Most often, we find an otherworld divided into three parts, which fits nicely with our IE way of looking at things in ADF.

What interests me particularly, though, is the notion of a lowerworld map from Native Americans (seen at left). I particularly like the story Dr. Goodman provides in her Ecstatic Trance: New Ritual Body Postures: A Workbook about an oil company in British Columbia who were negotiating with a Native American tribe for the location of a pipeline. They brought in a map on elk skin that covered the entire conference room table, and described the locations thusly: "Up here is the home of the souls of the dead. There is the path one has to follow. This is the wrong path, and over here is the worst path. Over there are all the animals. All this has been discovered in a dream." (Goodman, 76) It reminds us that no matter how modern or how developed, our landscapes can still be overlaid with sacred landscapes in bold ways.

Through these thoughts on maps of the worlds beyond, I find myself reflecting upon the Orphic tablets that guided souls to the Greek underworld. These were basically elaborate sets of directions, telling you where to go and what body of water to drink from. One reads:

You will find a spring to the left of the house of Hades,
And standing beside that [spring] is a white cypress.
Do not approach closely to the spring.
You will find another, flowing cold water
From the pool of Memory, and before it there are guards.
Say: "I am a child of Earth and starry Heaven,
But my lineage is heavenly [alone]. You must see this yourselves.
I perish and am withered with thirst. Give [me] quickly
The cold water flowing from the pool of Memory."
And they themselves will give you to drink from the divine spring,
And thereafter you shall reign among the other heroes." (Lincoln, 51)

There is a notion here that perhaps we can understand the ways beyond life, the paths that must be traveled, before we reach them in that final journey. Trancework seems to be the key to reaching those places in advance, to making the paths well-traveled before one encounters old age and death for the first time. It also seems to me that those who can travel those paths are obligated to help others know and understand the signposts along the way.

There is something different about the cosmos now in my mind. It is not the same as it was three weeks ago. I think that this is part of why I am so interested in the way these otherworlds fit together: not only is the cosmos inhabited by a greater number of spirits that I can perceive, but it is also differently accessible than it was before. I find myself thinking on it almost like a game of "Chutes and Ladders," at any given time, you may end up ascending or descending in new and interesting ways.

So far, I have seen only the world below, not the world above. I was thinking about it this morning, though, and as I watched Usas give way to Surya, I remembered a petroglyph I found a picture of once, and found myself thinking, "Truly, if there is a way to the heavens, it is accessed most reliably through the appearance of dawn upon the horizon."

I am very interested in spending time exploring and cartogrifying these other worlds, though I doubt I will do too much actual production: I'm more the "student" type than the "producer" type, I tend to think. What I really am excited about, though, is the notion that we can draw these maps, compare our notes with others who have been to these places, and find ourselves adding to our own collective experience as a result.

Sources

Goodman, Felicitas and Nauwald, Nana. Ecstatic Trance: New Ritual Body Postures: A Workbook. Binkey Kok Publications : Holland. 2003.
Lincoln, Bruce. Death, War, and Sacrifice. University of Chicago Press : Chicago, IL. 1991.
Nauwald, Nana. Flying With Shamans In Fairy Tails and Myths. Binkey Kok Publications : Holland. 2003.

Tweets from Twitter

2009-10-16T16:02:43Z

14:35 Agni hath made oblations rise to heaven: to every place are Agni's laws extended. RV X.80: bit.ly/3hJzCu #
09:40 O Earth, my Mother, set me happily in a place secure. Of one accord with Heaven, set me in glory and wealth. AV XII.1: bit.ly/AIoXX #

Indeed, you may follow me on Twitter

Re-viewing my work

2009-10-15T19:54:49Z

I have just finished reading the responses that Ian Corrigan provided when he approved my coursework prior to my initiation. I thoroughly enjoy the responses he's provided to me in the past: they are generally detailed, full of thoughtful suggestions, and always to the point with a bit of humour. (Apparently, due to a spelling error, I indicated that new GO's get mentors from other groves who "ass" those new GO's. I think I meant "assist.")

Going through those comments, though, also gave me a chance to review my own work, which, aside from being full of spelling errors because I write everything in notepad anymore, is actually pretty good. I was particularly pleased with myself when I re-read the trance induction for lighting a fire.

I honestly didn't remember writing this piece, and reading it was like reading it for the first time. I suspect that I was so focused on getting the job done that I just sort of missed the fact that I was doing the job, if that makes any sense.

I'm focusing on CTP3 work now, getting a good amount done in advance of completion of CTP 2, actually (my papers are in pending review), which is nice.

Ah, well: back to burying my head in spreadsheets!

Tweets from Twitter

2009-10-14T16:29:56Z

12:04 The gamester seeks the gambling-house, and wonders, his body all afire, 'Shall I be lucky?' RV X.34: bit.ly/4b4kwf #

Indeed, you may follow me on Twitter

Tweets from Twitter

2009-10-13T16:04:10Z

13:08 May they who have attained the life of spirits, gentle and righteous, aid us when we call them. RV X.15: bit.ly/LcWpz #
08:59 Dawn drives away her sister's gloom, and, through her excellence, makes her retrace her path. RV X.172: bit.ly/wo9pm #

Indeed, you may follow me on Twitter

On the role of an ADF Priest

2009-10-13T15:08:27Z

I have been spending a lot of time, recently, on examining the role of the Priest in ADF (and, slightly more broadly, in Neo-Paganism in general). In a lot of ways, I find it very straightforward and simple, while in other ways it is very complicated. There is a lot of good information in a variety of sources that expand on the basic question of "What is a Priest and what does he or she do?" Really, reading a few articles answers a lot of questions.

Ian's words ring very true: we are not shepherds, we have no flocks.

The "ritual specialist" language is too simplistic, though, and speaks to a very limited role. I'm not overly pleased with it, so I expect to mostly abandon it soon, or at least modify it with additional terms.

Over and over, though, I come back around to three things: partnership with laity, commitment and training.

The commitment is really the central piece; training is an addendum, really, that leads to obligation and commitment, a sort of *ghosti relationship where when you do the work to get trained, you find yourself committed to training others in the ways of Our Druidry, and to use the skills provided by that training to ensure that the proper rites and sacrifices are made in the proper way at the proper time. In many ways, an ADF Priest is first and foremost a person committed to serving the folk through their training and making sacrifice to the Kindreds.

In any case, there is a two-way commitment: one to the Kindreds, and one to the Folk. I am generally not of a mind that a Solitary member cannot become a Priest, but I think about the oath I took and I wonder how I could fulfill it from a Solitary point of view. I also, though, accept that every individual will find a different vocation, and that they will be called to serve the Folk in different ways. Because of that, my own notion of how someone else might fulfill their oath is fundamentally flawed: not knowing their vocation, I cannot question their fulfillment of it effectively.

It occurs to me that there is also an ineffible quality to priesthood, within ADF and (I suspect) outside of it: those who have been through the processes of consecration and ordination (and now, initiation) will view their role differently than those who have not passed those boundaries and have not made those commitments, and differently than those who have not done the training. I suspect that there is an element of intent to the training, as well, since a trained Liturgist might find similar courses but a very different experience in them, as I know I have.

I think that, because of this, I can only see the role of the Priest in ADF as a partnership of sorts: just as you cannot define a "partner" in ballroom dancing without discussing dancing, one cannot define Priests without discussing the relationship and interaction between Priest and laity. If we consider separating the Priest from the laity at all (either by defining one group as "useful" or one group as "useless"), each category must understand and express the value of the other in order to find value within itself.

A book that I love describes it like this: "We can ask, What is a wombat or an edible dormouse?, but not, What is a priest? The priest is no independent species – the 'laity' are part of the picture of what the priest is, and the priest is part of the picture of what the laity are." The notion that priests can be defined in isolation from the congregation is a ridiculous one, and I suspect that the true issues that surround "defining a Priest in ADF" likely revolve around insecurity about what an individual's role is in relation to the ADF Priest, not insecurity about the role of the external priest.

My initiation into the ADF Initiatory Current was a very reflective thing: I am deeply engaged in retrospective thinking and considering new things that are coming up. My actual essay on this topic (meant for Oak Leaves) is already stretching several pages, because the question of the role of ADF Priests is so very complicated, so I won't dwell on it here much more.

A series of oaths, a series of changes

2009-10-12T18:08:45Z

You know, in many ways, the initiation I went through changed the game I was playing, deepening it and setting new rules. I like to talk about Huizinga's notion of Homo Ludens as vastly superior to Eliade's Homo Religiosis, but I find myself encountering Huizinga's theories on a very real and intimate level in my life.

The rules have changed for me a few times since I started in ADF: my Patron Oath, Dedicant Oath, Consecration Oath, and now my Initiation Oath have all changed the rules ever so slightly, but also so significantly.

My Patron Oath brought me into deeper relationship with Esus and Eris, and it has led to many great things while keeping me grounded and flexible all at once. New rules included building commitment while also deepening understanding in exploration and boundary-pushing.

My Dedicant Oath led me to a place where I was committed in a new way to Our Druidry, where my world was re-framed and brought into sharp focus. There, a new cosmovision sprang forth, and my life has since been filled with spirits and allies I never dreamed would be available to me before. This was pivotal in how I viewed the world.

My Consecration Oath turned a corner I did not expect, and brought me to a place of deeper piety and unfathomable commitment to the rites and rituals of Our Druidry. It also provided me with a commitment to "pay forward" that which I had learned, to bring that training to others and help others through it.

My Initiation Oath took me through deep passages in the earth and high corridors of stars in the heavens, and provided me with new tools and new focus, both in terms of the practical work I had done to get to that point, and in terms of the lessons learned from initiation. It is as if I am seeing the cosmos for the first time, and I understand fully my place within it.

My next oath will be an oath at Ordination, I suspect. I don't know what it will bring, but I can only tell you that it will likely redefine this cosmos yet again, and I am likely to see the world through new eyes, and to have new training and lessons with which to focus them, yet again.

I am excited to see where this leads, and to learn what I can do to help lead others through the mists whose paths become known. In all cases, though, any change that may come requires me to accept the new rules. This is not as simple as saying "yes, I agree to these rules." It is a complicated process of discovering the new rules, agreeing to abide by them, and then acting in accordance with them: recognition, agreement, and action. These are the three steps my oaths have taken and will take.

John McCain is a hack of a blacksmith

2009-10-09T10:30:10Z

I had a dream last night that John McCain was a blacksmith, that his incredibly hot-but-too-young-for-me daughter (who I made up for this dream, apparently) was managing his shop, and that she was selling iron ouroboros rings for $10 each. I bought ten.

Then I found out that he didn't make them, and they were on sale for $5, and I decided that he was a hack of a blacksmith.

His daughter indicated that the plural of "ouroboros" was "ouroborosi," but I wrote on my check that it was "ouroboroses."

Tweets from Twitter

2009-10-08T16:01:15Z

14:18 The waters listen as they flow along: they know the origin of heaven and earth. RV VII.34: bit.ly/4m5HB4 #
15:26 @JustCallMeJamie I do know that we have at least one currently, and we have had others in the past. #
08:19 Enkindling the Immortal, wake Agni with song of praise: may he bear our oblations to the Gods. RV V.14: bit.ly/vRHw5 #

Indeed, you may follow me on Twitter

The third of three lessons: Joy

2009-10-06T18:03:47Z

I learned three lessons during my journey as my mettle was tested as an ADF Initiate. These lessons were not the lessons I expected, nor are they specifically private to me alone: these are guiding lessons that I must take forward, that must draw me along as I go forth as an ADF Initiate, and by my oath I will use them in service to others. The lessons offered to each Initiate will be different for each individual Initiate, based on that individual's needs and the work they must do.

The third lesson of my initiation is Joy.

Where I went to learn this lesson, I cannot say; this was a place reserved for initiates alone, as I understand it: I believe druidkirk and I are the only ones who have been there, and we both visited this place (though we came from different directions and found different things) in our journeys, even though no guidance was given to us by our initiators. This lesson is also virtually ineffable, so please bear with me as I seek to explain it.

I had traveled far, and this was my last stop. I had traveled through fear, through solitude, and through specific lessons that I must learn and teach others. I wondered what this last place have in store.

In this place, though, there was a garden, something I did not expect to find.

It was a beautiful garden, much like those lavish and architectural gardens of Europe, typified by the gardens at Versallies, Chateau de Villandry, or even an English garden. Within it, there was a grove of trees, and this is where I was drawn to.

Some trees in the grove were older, some were younger, and a few were simply saplings. Some were oaks, some ashes, and some were yews or hawthorns or willows. Each had been touched by the gardener in some way: nudged to grow straighter, trimmed to remove dead wood, replanted from another grove to flourish here, or supported while the roots deepened and the branches reached for sunlight. What I found was that I was standing in the midst of my Grove, and that each tree was an individual: member, friend, or brand-new-shiny Druid. I could identify trees by name, I was so certain of each one. I could also see that they were each others' strength in the storm.

I never met the keeper of this garden, nor did I meet any other figure there, but what I knew, simply from standing in this garden and this grove, was the simple joy of the gardener. It was present everywhere, permeating all things: a joy borne of love, time, and care for every detail and every individual plant and tree and animal within. This is not a garden meant to feed the body, but one meant to feed the soul.

The gardener gardens because it is right to do so, and his work brings out the artfulness of the cosmos. Each plant is placed in relation to others "just so," while others are righted when they begin to grow wrong. This maintains that artful universe, that rta or *xartus where all things have their place, and are in their place. Small changes have large impacts, and a gentle nudge has deep effects on the path the garden takes.

Here is the lesson: the gardener who gardens for food and sustenance may find health and a reduction in hunger; but the gardener who tends his garden with love will see the fruits of his labour not in the things that garden produces to sustain the body, but in the simple joy of the work that sustains the soul. That is what this Grove is for me: simple, complete joy. The work that we do must not be for advancement or position, but for joy in the garden that we tend. The personal growth of our members is what drives us on, what brings us pleasure, not increases in status or stature on our own. It is, then, up to us to seek that joy, to bring it forth, and to draw others to it so that they may have their soul nourished with this joy as well.

So these are the ways, visible to the community, that I will work to fulfill the third charge the Kindreds placed upon me during my initiation.

Tweets from Twitter

2009-10-06T16:04:19Z

12:33 @meghemc Ooh, it's a sign! #
12:33 @acousticdryad thank you for the luck-wishes #
12:34 Speak praise to he who is bounteous; and let us glorify, as men may do, the giver of true gifts. RV VII.31: bit.ly/1JZwYI #
16:53 @tlachtga w00t! #
09:06 Earth, upon whom are settled night and day, may she establish us in each delightful dwelling place. AV XII.1: bit.ly/AIoXX #

Indeed, you may follow me on Twitter

The second of three lessons: Center

2009-10-06T13:17:24Z

I learned three lessons during my journey as my mettle was tested as an ADF Initiate. These lessons were not the lessons I expected, nor are they specifically private to me alone: these are guiding lessons that I must take forward, that must draw me along as I go forth as an ADF Initiate, and by my oath I will use them in service to others. The lessons offered to each Initiate will be different for each individual Initiate, based on that individual's needs and the work they must do.

The second lesson of my initiation is Center.

The middle of my journey was about the center of all things, and finding that center within oneself. It sounds odd to me that I should say that the lesson is "center" rather than "centering" or "being centered". . . but truly, that is the lesson here, for it encompasses much.

There is a place that we go, the Center of Worlds, that is inhabited by a crane. Here, the land, sea, and sky all meet, and here we can access the cosmic waters and the heavens above.

It is said that a lone crane lives on the isle of Inishkea near Erris, Co. Mayo, and will remain there until the end of time. This crane is at the edge of the world, not the center, but I often think of this crane as being very much like Garanus: both cranes clearly inhabit a place, keeping watch and reliable in their singular locality to those who seek them out. They were there before us, and they will be there long after we are gone.

What stands out to me is this notion of the water-skate in Zuni myth; it can easily be translated into the notion of the Crane:

At the center of the worlds, there stands a crane: one foot is on the land, one foot is in the waters, his eye is raised to the heavens. It is in his heart that the Three Realms are joined, and this marks the "center place," the heart of the Realms and the Worlds.

The heart of this crane is directly above the heart of the Earth Mother, and directly below the pole star of the heavens. When those who honour the Crane come together to form a Grove, they align themselves with this center: each one standing firmly upon the bosom of the Earth Mother, directly above her heart and directly below their own pole star, with this centered ritual place located both about them in physical form and spiritually within their heart.

Any shrine upon which a fire is lit and Garanus is honoured is a center as well: a permanent home for the heart of the Crane.

This is the lesson of centering I carry forth: each of our hearts are the heart of the crane, each of us is centered in the world, and each of us can work from that place and bring change to all things as we change ourselves. We must be the change we wish to see in the world, and we must transform ourselves, with the aid of the Crane, in order to transform others around us. My work is now to learn to explain this better, to bring others to the center of worlds.

So these are the ways, visible to the community, that I will work to fulfill the second charge the Kindreds placed upon me during my initiation.

The first of three lessons: Focus

2009-10-05T19:34:05Z

I learned three lessons during my journey as my mettle was tested as an ADF Initiate. These lessons were not the lessons I expected, nor are they specifically private to me alone: these are guiding lessons that I must take forward, that must draw me along as I go forth as an ADF Initiate, and by my oath I will use them in service to others. The lessons offered to each Initiate will be different for each individual Initiate, based on that individual's needs and the work they must do.

The first lesson of my initiation is Focus.

As I my journey began, I was instructed very carefully to learn focus. There were specific things I learned I must focus on from the Kindreds, but those things were spoken to me alone, and won't be passed along except to those who are directly affected by things I was explicitly told to fix. I was told, though, that I am not a focused person: I am both poorly organized and highly unreliable. I have difficulty staying on task and greater difficulty in concentration.

I have great trouble focusing on individuals (including myself): often, e-mail conversations will simply dissipate over time; I fail to make phone calls to friends and family "just to say hi;" the membership of ADF has expressed a feeling that I've ignored them; I spent a great deal of the year not doing my sunrise/sunset devotionals; I cannot even keep myself to a set of specified goals for CTP course completion; and my work has suffered from a lack of detail-focus. Yes, the last few months (since about February, when I officially took this job) have been hell, but that is no excuse. I need to learn to focus, compartmentalize, and move forward on projects that need to be completed and be more open to people I need to be available to. . . in my personal life, my spiritual life, and my work life.

Of particular note is that my trancework is not done: there is more to do. Completion of the trancework practicums, Trance 1 and Trance 2, does not entitle me to say I'm done with it. Indeed, it is clear that more work needs to be done, and it must be done in a focused way. I must work the Trance journal I have started and supplement it with additional regular practice, and bring that practice to others.

Another place that I have noticed focus must be brought is in my religious speech, particularly in ritual. I've been strongly bitten by the elusive AwenBug recently, and as a result have been waxing on with a lack of focus, trusting my gut to understand the way an invitation to the Kindreds or a purpose must go. This has become an issue, actually, where even though everything I say in ritual is related, it is not focused. I've been given a charge to start speaking in a more specific manner in ritual.

Some improvements occurred prior to this rite (as the work was completed), but this rite is likely to have induced lasting change in my behavior on this front.

So these are the ways, visible to the community, that I will work to fulfill the first charge the Kindreds placed upon me during my initiation.