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June 30th, 2009
09:20 am - Debt-Free¹
Today, I come to you from a wonderful place: completely debt-free. I dug myself out of the minor hole that I was in in just under six months as a result of a promotion, keeping naked cats in my attic for nearly a year, and being absolutely, downright miserly over the past year.
My dad would be so proud of the way I've handled money and opportunity recently. Actually, I know he is.
No matter what the debt is, it has a way of looking like it's way, way too big to overcome, especially when you're sitting under what looks like a mountain of it. I know the statistics, and I know that I wasn't anywhere close to the "average" debt people carry on their credit cards alone (the mean credit card debt was around $9,000 last I heard, with the median being closer to $2,000; it's probably higher now), but even the small sum I had seemed insurmountable less than a year ago.
Heck, there were times when I thought it was hopeless while I was in the middle of paying the damn thing down. . . even as recently as last month, I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to meet the expectations I had set for myself, that I would be unable to make it to the end of the month, and that I would end up spending even more time in debt than I had originally planned.
I found myself religiously checking my bank balances, my credit card statements, and adding up every penny I spent. I didn't buy anything I didn't need unless I was positive that I could manage to meet the expectations I had of myself, and I went without a lot of things in order to ensure that I was staying within budget.
I'd originally gone into light debt when I bought the house in 2002: there, I was making enough, but didn't have enough cash on hand for repairs, improvements, and painting. It's said that the average home-buyer pours an additional $5,000 into a house in the first year of ownership, and I probably did about that. Then my car finally died, and I had a car payment that was completely unexpected on top of my new mortgage.
There was a time when I figured it up, and I was spending a few dollars more each month than I was actually making at the time.
So things ballooned a bit, no matter how careful I tried to be. Soon, I was finding that even my modest debt was looking entirely uncontrollable. I didn't see any light at the end of the tunnel, and I didn't know that I would ever be able to pay it off. I quickly understood (and understand even better in hindsight) just how frightening debt can be, and how amazingly stupid it can make you feel. I now understand how people carry such balances for so long: there comes a point where you accept debt, and where you feel you will always live with it; and it comes fast and out of nowhere.
It wasn't until the car payments were complete this past December that I was able to start paying the debt down in a significant way. Then I picked up my promotion. Then I scrimped and saved and put everything I had into getting out of debt, buckling down at work and making things happen. And here, with planning and work, I stand now: debt free and finally really proud of myself.
Now I just need to make it to the end of the month without a relapse, and my next paycheck will become a cushion, not a "make ends meet" sort of thing. Given that I'm in better shape this month than I was last month (and have been seeing that trend since January), I think a relapse is very unlikely.
There's a light at the end of the debt tunnel: I'm living proof. While my debt wasn't grossly enormous, it also wasn't actually manageable. I carried it for nearly six years until the cards fell right. I'm not one to say that "anyone can do this if they just work harder. . ." I know, because I did work harder, and sometimes that's not enough. But I am one to say that it can be done, with a little luck, a little faith in yourself, and a lot of work and discipline over a long haul.
To all those who helped me out when I needed it, thank you. I promise to pay it forward.
¹ - except, of course, for the house. But the elimination of other debt makes my mortgage entirely affordable.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) jubilant
Current Music: "Spending Money", -JB
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March 30th, 2009
03:58 pm - What, you've never seen a guy post pictures of his cats before?
Because they're my boys (and girl), I figured I'd post 'em here:
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Fins", -JB
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December 8th, 2008
12:43 pm - Beautiful day, with a chance of hiccups
- I own my car outright. Final payment is in.
- Naked cats are going home, to Japan, in less than two weeks.
- Chuck is on tonight, as every Monday.
- My Tuesday nights are now free in perpetuity, until I decide to put something else there (PSA is now officially dissolved due to a complete lack of interest, special thanks to
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tesinth and ns_kumiho for being people who gave a damn). - I now own a copy of Smallville Season 7, which I had to stop watching last year because the Grove wanted us to do more "stuff."
- News, not so hot, on one front where I need lots of good news, but not exactly damning, either. More like throwing an interception and having it returned for a touchdown late in the fourth quarter when you're up by 14. The proper response is always, "Coach, why the hell were we passing?"
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: "Something So Feminine About a Mandolin", -JB
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January 26th, 2008
05:33 pm - A game of cat and mouse
Infinity has fallen asleep staring into the aquarium. There, finally awake and moving, is the mouse she caught this morning. Since our incident with the Chocolate Mouse (hereinafter referred to as "Godiva"), we have been dealing with the second generation. Yes, that's right: Godiva had some pups. Between myself and three cats, we have caught a total of six mice since January 10th.
There are two generations of mice that we're aware of. The first was Godiva and her mate (who we later discovered ate only Ramen Noodles: he is herinafter referred to as "SpicePack"). The second was their kids.
Godiva and SpicePack had at least five kids: I'm currently listening at the walls to ensure that there aren't any more skulking between the drywall. I found one dead (played with and slobbered on to death) in the living room, and watched Alexander kill another one (they're still small enough to be bite-sized). I caught two more live, and spent about a week and a half listening to the mice still left as they continued nesting.
I caught another mouse a couple of days ago: another of the pups. Then, after a few days of tracking and catching glimpses of SpicePack, I was sitting in the basement trying to fix my computer (separate entry for that), and I heard a meow and a couple of squeaks.
Infinity had a mouse. It was SpicePack.
She didn't want to let SpicePack go, but after chasing her through the house (and then chasing the mouse through the house once I got her to let go and she dropped him), I had him in a jar and was checking him to see if I needed to kill him myself or not.
It was hard to tell: he was very wet, playing dead, and barely breathing. After a careful examination, though, I determined that his injuries were remarkably light, and put him in the aquarium with one of his pups, pending a nice day to let them both go.
I have thought we were out of mice before, and been wrong. With six mice caught in the past two weeks, I'm hoping we're back down to zero. Despite that, I'm unsure.
We shall wait and see.
For those wondering, Hudson is almost 2 years old. She'll be 2 on May 1.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Frank and Lola", -JB
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December 12th, 2007
10:01 am - Mice that don't eat peanut butter, and the best Yule gift ever. . .
This entry will contain what some of you consider to be sacrilege. And some of you will think it hilarious.
Let me begin at the beginning with a quick recap of how we got to the past two weeks:
- There is a hole in my house
- Mice had been entering through said hole
- We have caught most of the mice
- There is one mouse left
Yesterday, I spent my lunch hour beneath my deck doing the final sealing the window as best I could in the rain and mud. I will need to do more work to fully seal the hole, but I believe that the mice, at least for now, no longer have access to the innards of the house.
It is this one mouse, then, that is left. We were catching mice at a rate of 1.2 each day in late October, and until today, we could not determine *why* we could not catch this last mouse.
We know this mouse is a female, because she's nesting. We can hear her. In the walls. Nesting.
Boy mice are lazy-ass sons-of-bitches. They don't nest. And girl mice tend to nest when they get pregnant, which leads us to many deeper issues that I'm sure you can all guess.
We cannot poison the mouse: we have cats, and a rat-poisoned mouse, if found by the cats, will poison the cats. The mouse has not been caught by the cats, because I can't let the cats roam free in the house throughout the day due to Tina's plants and the presence of Tina's birds. Thus, our strongest weapon in the game of cat-and-mouse (i.e. the freakin' cats) is unavailable during most of our turns.
Tina won't let me use an inhumane trap, which is fine by me: the PETA traps Tina purchased are actually *amazingly* effective when it comes to most mice. (I do own a couple of "Lucifer" mousetraps, though, thanks to viedansante's sense of humour).
This morning, Tina discovered exactly why our traps, baited with peanut butter and a dog biscut, had been ineffective on this particular mouse up to this point: this mouse eats only fine, dark chocolate.
I should have known when I found her doing the backstroke in Tina's Mexican hot chocolate mix, now that I look back on it. I also should have caught her then, when she was frozen and staring at me through the plastic baggie the chocolate was in. I thought, wrongly, that I couldn't catch her at that point, that a simple grab wouldn't do it. Instead, I watched to see how she'd gotten to where she was. I haven't had a chance to get her since.
This morning, though, I was informed that somehow, she had gotten up three shelves in the pantry and gotten into Tina's dark chocolate bars from Trader Joe's, possibly by climbing, but more likely by either an acrobatic jump of approximately two feet, or by gnawing patiently through a wall and then through the back of the cabinet. Apparently, the girl has some fine, fine taste. And she'll go to many insane lengths to satisfy that craving.
I now have a plan. A dastardly, evil plan, if I do say so myself.
On Dec. 1, I received a box of fancy chocolates from druidkirk for Yule. I've eaten a couple, but the plan was to bring the majority of them in to work and let others have whatever Maggie didn't want.
Now, though, the plan has changed. If no mouse has been caught this evening, the bait in the trap is getting a serious upgrade. I know what the mouse likes: dark chocolate. I know where the mouse is nesting: next to the heating ducts. I know where the mouse can and will get: all over the basement and in the cupboards.
Really, it all combines into the chocolate being the perfect Yule gift, in my little twisted mind, should this work. There's nothing I'd like more than to be rid of this mouse with a taste for expensive chocolate.
(My thank-you note to druidkirk for the chocolate, which was going to go in today's mail, has had to be altered a tad as a result of this new, exciting development.)
I know this is a mouse after some of your own hearts. When I catch her (and I will catch her, trust me), is there anyone who would like to keep her? If not, well, at least she'll have a very fulfilling last indoor meal of very fine chocolate.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "On a Slow Boat to China", -JB
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December 14th, 2006
01:45 pm - Seeking the Sunset City
Altogether, it was not well to meddle with the Elder Ones; and if they persistently denied all access to the marvelous sunset city, it were better not to seek that city.
-H.P. Lovecraft, The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath I've been reading the stories Lovecraft references in The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath and remembering why the Cthulhu mythos interests me so deeply. This started when I picked up a copy of Phil Hine's Pseudonomicon and started reading again. I like Hine's work, really, even if it is more than a little weird sometimes.
Last night I read Pickman's Model and The Cats of Ulthar. I started on The Other Gods and will likely finish that tonight. Also on the list is Celephais. None of these are long stories (The Cats of Ulthar is the shorest), but I am hoping to understand The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath a bit better through reading them, and perhaps one day seek the sunset city on my own.
I am not sure I can explain why Lovecraft's horrors fascinate me so, but they do, probably because Cthulhu, Yog-sothoth, and Shub Niggaruth are not, to me, "real" entities, but rather embodiments of real things that we as humans have not and never will explain. They are not "real" like my gods are, even when I work directly with (or, as the case is more likely, succumb to) them, which is rare in its own right.
Really, it was Hine's article Cthulhu Madness that sparked this interest. Each step into the mythos creates a thirst for a deeper step. The mythos explains things perfectly: the age of a place, the depths of what humans are capable of, and the raw power of primeval nature. In this mythos, answers are not given. In this mythos, answers are felt. Cthulhu does not bring madness; he brings clarity and perspective that are otherwise inaccessible. It is the clarity and perspective that is gained that others believe to be madness.
I like to think of my interest as more sophistocated than the teenager who buys the paperback Necronomicon and tries to scare his parents or friends with it. I don't know whether it actually is. Working with Lovecraftian mythos is strange, in that it draws you in. The world as Lovecraft describes it doesn't make sense to those outside of it, who never enter it. Slipping into the mythos has been described to me as "stupid", "immature", "poorly thought through", and "frightening."
The thing about the Lovecraftian mythos, though, is that it doesn't have any power over those who don't choose to step into its world. When Lovecraft bumps against your world, you can escape easily, so long as you, personally, don't take that first step into the darkness. It's an easy dismissal, an offhand acknowledgement of its fictive and imature nature. It can be written off as simple stupidity or weirdness. Nothing can force you into the Lovecraftian mythos; indeed, the sanity of Thurber, who viewed Pickman's model, is not truly in danger: he avoided the madness merely by refusing to take that first step.
Entering the mythos is something that is done voluntarily. You cannot and will not be dragged in. In every story, as in every initiation into every mystery, everything begins with a voluntary step.
In other news, perhaps Slepnir was a deer, not a horse?
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/thinking.gif) thoughtful
Current Music: "Nautical Wheelers", -JB
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December 11th, 2006
03:00 pm - Fencing, and got some things done for a change. . .
advance, lunge with parry five. riposte. recover retreat retreat parry three. riposte. counter-riposte. point-in-line disengage. parry four. advance advance advance false prepare retreat. attack in prep. touch. I have been paying attention to the memories of my body recently, the way the muscle memory retains itself even after a full five years almost of not donning a fencing mask. The above is what my body wants to do. Right now. It is a total body memory, but it is not something remembered, but something felt. My body feels that right now, that is the correct action to take.
My muscles twitch and pull at my mind. I shouldn't be sitting at my desk: I should be standing with my right side forward, my hand holding the sabre, protected by the guard on my three and twitching the tip of the blade in a circle should four or five be threatened.
I'm looking for the attack parry riposte counter-parry counter-riposte action. My body wants that more than anything right now.
Over the weekend I managed to complete a few things, particularly these:
- I have blanks with which to make a set of runes specifically for the Grove.
- I have made the blanks romandruid requested for her divination set (bring 'em by on Saturday?)
- My kitchen floor is less cluttered, as is my kitchen counter.
- I went to the zoo on Saturday night.
- I watched movies with creaturetamer and tesinth for most of Sunday on the 100 inch projection screen currently in my basement.
- I cleaned the mouse cages and took care of Tina's menagerie.
I'm interested in seeing the movie Redhead, which is currently playing at Studio 35 all week. It's playing at 11 PM, though, which is feckin' late for me.
It's odd that I managed to finish anything this weekend; I so rarely do.
I'm expecting some mail in the near future, which will then allow me to set a date for me to start working on something new. Part of me is afraid of new things: I always have been, on many levels. But a deeper part of me has always managed to push through that fear, to not be cowed by those who want to shove me back down to where I was.
At work, the guy four levels above me is leaving, which means potential reorganization where I work. I don't know what that means, except that I'm hoping my distance is far enough that should restructuring take place, I'm not structured right out of a job.
I'm pretty sure I need another vacation. Fortunately, one comes up very soon: barely two weeks.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/wink.gif) quixotic
Current Music: "Sail On Sailor", -JB
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November 3rd, 2006
12:11 pm - Another cat? Oh, man.
The MJD/CAP animal shelter is again open for business.
(Perhaps Tina and I should call it "The MJD/CAP Cathouse". . . oh, the connotations. . .)
Should anyone be in need of a cat, I found this one on my way to work:
 She was walking a bunch of girls to school.
I've never met anyone, human or animal, who liked me so much so soon upon meeting me. Darn social cat, pretty too, and she fell asleep in my lap after destroying my lunch this morning.
( More pix behind cut, including my half-devoured lunch )
Totally free to a good home.
If she isn't placed, she goes back on the street. We're looking for her original owners.
She's at the animal clinic being de-wormed and getting checked for spay.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: "Fins", -JB
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October 23rd, 2006
05:39 pm - A death in the family
On Saturday, Raven, Tina's cat, was put down.
Miss ya, kid.
( Pic beyond cut )
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: "A Pirate Looks at Forty", -JB
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January 14th, 2006
05:18 pm - Looking for a few good submissions
I'm on the look out for a few good DP submissions.
I've already stolen zalon_draconis' essay on wisdom because I felt it fit into the "excellent" category, so I need a brave soul or two who would like to submit a Virtues essay that is "excellent" (i.e. not merely "adequate), preferably one that is not a Wisdom essay.
I'm also going to see what I can find from my fellow Deputy Preceptors, if they have any ideas. . .
Lemme tell you, though: writing examples of DP work that is "inadequate" is. . . quite fun. :)
zalon_draconis, I'll need to get your written permission to use it, of course, and I'll also want you to approve of the critique I wrote of it, which I'll send you as soon as I can dig up an email address and copy/paste my comments into an email (shouldn't take long, probably later tonight).
Anyway, enough about DP stuff. I got to chat with erienc over the phone this morning. Quite nice.
Sorry, shizukagozen: no recordings were made, so you know it was tame *sighs*
I'm dropping out to get some catfood, and then it's back to the grind trying to get this DP Virtues book out. :) I expect to have it finished/edited this weekend.
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: "Lone Palm", -JB
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December 12th, 2005
06:12 pm - Standing with Giants, Conquering Fear, and Remembering What's Important
Getting through Walking With Fire reviews seems to be a recurring problem :) I'll manage, I promise. Only two left to go.
I went to the 'Shoe today. I haven't been in there in a long time, but I wanted to see it today. I've never been the only person there, and looking at the North and South endzones was eerie and . . . peaceful? Perhaps that's the word.
The difference between that stadium when it's full and when it's empty is shocking. When it's full, you feel the amazing weight (the egregore, if I were trying to sound smart here) of tradition. When it's empty, you hear the whispers of those same traditions.
I don't know: perhaps it's different for a former student athlete who is ashamed of his last few weeks as a letterman here. Perhaps not everyone would feel it.
But I did, and I do.
I conquered, at least temporarily, fear # A-1 today. I did this by seeing how silly it was, and how amusing it could be. That's how I used to conquer fear four months ago, and it was a good return.
I also took back some of my time, figuring that working on a project that no one wanted me on was a waste of time, no matter how badly it needed to be done.
My boys and the girl were damn cute last night. They've been terribly good, not eating any orchids. Infinity, in particular, has been quite good. Then again, she has a new ""Prized Posession".
Tonight, I'm off to be a Boy Scout again. It feels good to think about getting back into that habit.
They're going to laugh at the state of my boots.
"Oh, yesterday's over my shoulder
So I can't look back for too long.
There's just too much to see waiting in front of me
And I know that I just can't go wrong."
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "We Are the People Our Parents Warned Us About", -JB
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November 30th, 2005
01:05 pm - The Cats in Socks Meditation
(assigned by m3ch at WWF upon viewing ceolnamara's socks)
Upon the sock stands a cat. He stands proudly, displaying his fancy, cat-decorated socks. The first sokc, on his front right foot, is blue. It is a deep shade of blue, the kind you see on the clearest winter afternoons, when the shones shines clearly and distinctly on the world.
The blue sock contains the representation of another cat, this one smiling happily, his tial kinked where you would expect a curl. Upon his right front paw, there is an orange sock, which stands out in contrast to his black fur and the blue field upon which he stands.
The orange sock contains yet another cat, this one young with mischeif in his eyes. He is spying on a red birt, and licking his lips in anticipation. His stubby tail has just come to rest after an excited flicker, and his muscles are tense. Upon his right front paw, which is gently lifted into the air, ready to swipe if the bird comes in range, is grey sock. It is worn through with a number of patches and repairs.
The grey sock contains a dainty kitten, sitting before a glass of milk. Upon her collar is a bow and a tiny bell that rings clearly when it contacts the dish. Her front right paw is curled around the small bowl, pulling it in closer. Because the milk is so cold, she has to wear a bright yellow sock over her paw.
The bright yellow sock contains a dashingly handsome cat. This cat wears a leather jacket and sunglasses, and is curled contentedly in the seat of a motercycle. One year is crooked from a scrap he got into as a kitten, and there's a scar on his chin from a fight he swears he won with a pit bull. On his front right paw, he wears a leather sock, black as night, that rests on the clutch.
The black leather sock contains an older white cat, her body worn down a bit by age, but still beautiful to the cat who wears her visiage on his sock. Below her picture is a heart, the word "Mom" is inscribed in flowing emboidery across it. She is wearing a long dress, but her stickings can still be glimpsed on each paw. One waps is crooked to support her chin, which rest upon the heart below. This paw is encased in a delicate red lace stocking with a beautiful criss-cross pattern.
The red sock with the criss-cross pattern contains a debonaire cat wearing a tuxedo. His whiskers are long and flowing, waxed into an up-turned mustache. He hsatnds with a tray in one hand and a towel over his other arm, and his eyes beg the question, "Will there be anything else?" Upon his right front paw there is an elegant white sock.
The elegant white sock contains an understated gray cat. Lightly emboridered and elegant, she is barely noticible, except that she is so marvelously formed that one would have to be dead not to feel an increase in their pulse as they followed her curves. She lays seuctively upon a couch, eathing mice as if they were grapes. She is a queen, and wears no socks or stockings.
Upon the first cat's front left stocking, however. . .
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "If I Had a Boat", -JB
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March 29th, 2005
01:44 pm - A beautiful lunch date will solve all the world's problems. . .
Having been overly creative yesterday making something that turned into a timely present for ceolnamara, I am quite drained of creativity today. Or, I was before I spent my lunch hour with an incredibly beautiful woman.
I received a great package from shizukagozen of books about how to lug my ass around Europe in preparation for visiting. It helped me have a sudden insight to how to see the English Channel from the bottom rather than the top, and it kept me from being lost when fred_smith mentioned Eurostar.
( I also added my personal sigil to my collection of images )
And, as I was at lunch with my beautiful lunchdate, it was decided that rhiannon76 should go into business with those wonderful catbeds of hers, as Tina would certainly purchase one for Raven.
I simply must own this book: The Chaos Cookbook
Oh, and you should all meet our most recent addition to the menagerie: ( Eddie )
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Havana Daydreamin'", -JB
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