|
|
|
July 8th, 2008
02:01 pm - Getting back to divination I stumbled across some of the mails I wrote just following the COoR discussions in late 2006, and I'm somewhat amused by my own attitude toward the whole process. The more I go back and take another look, the softer I become on a lot of it.
Anyway, that's another subject for another time.
I'm still in the process of completing the various divinations people asked me about. I've gotten through some of them, but not many at all. It turns out that my frustration with the process was hitting a boiling point (at least partially) because I was hitting the end of my "free-time" period before everything blew up.
As it stands, I'm still running pretty hard.
I've done a couple of divinations today, though, and those should be going out, too. I'm *trying* to do them in chronological order. We'll see how that goes. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: "In the Shelter", -JB
|
July 1st, 2008
11:58 am - Sulis and Taranis, a stolen wheel, and more bay leaves After speaking with seamus_mcnasty about "resting on one's laurels" after the Pride Service (see yesterday's post), I opened up the Book of Three Cranes and read through our omens for the past few weeks/months. I've posted a couple of times in the last week over at 3cg_blog about omens, and since early May, we've seen an increased need to take stock of them. As I read them, there is a need to push the envelope some, to go further, and to retain the fire that makes this Grove dynamic and keeps us moving.
So, instead of our traditional invocations, Summer Solstice became "Storytime."
( Read about the process and sourcing )
Here is the story I told:
The Stolen Wheel
It is said that long ago, when even the gods were young, Taranis, the Thunderer, saw Sulis, the Sun, bathing at dawn.
Each morning, Sulis would rise from the cosmic waters at the edge of the world. As she rose from the waters, she would blush deeply, and only a glimpse of her could be seen as she ascended into her chariot. No man was allowed to look upon her, for she was young and beautiful, untouched.
Once she had mounted her chariot, whose wheel is the sun, she would ride all day, the wheel shining brightly as it turned along the path, until she returned once again to her bath in the cosmic waters, the aquae sulis.
The god Taranis had heard of her beauty, and though he knew that it was not allowed, he went one morning to see her bathe. Cloaked in his stormclouds to hide his form, he went down to the waters' edge. Taranis was not subtle, however, and Sulis refused to leave the waters.
"Who is there?" she called out.
Thinking quickly, he disguised his voice. "It is I, Epona's handmaiden, come to see your horses."
"But there is nothing wrong with my horses," Sulis responded, puzzled.
"My Lady fears one may be lame. Let me check them while you prepare for your journey."
Sulis agreed, knowing now that it was no man, but a maiden who had come to visit her. As Taranis hid beneath his cloak of clouds, Sulis exited the waters. Instantly, he was struck with lust, and plotted to see more of her.
"How are my horses?" Sulis asked.
"They are fine, my dear," answered Taranis. "Now, be on your way."
And so Taranis watched in awe as she passed by him, wondering how he might see her, so beautiful and naked, again. She mounted the chariot, flicked her reins, and disappeared behind the bright, shining sun wheel.
Taranis knew he must see her again. To do this, he left and flew to the west, intent on stealing the wheel of the sun, for he could not look upon her while the wheel shone so brightly.
He set his ambush far away, placing his clouds in the sky in the west, knowing that she could only travel a fixed path. He waited until the afternoon, and then began to approach the chariot of the sun.
He cast wide his cloak of clouds, racing forth in his own thundering chariot, obscuring the light of Sulis by covering the wheel. He stole the wheel from the axle and hid it deep within the folds of his cloak, laughing peels of thunder at his cleverness.
But Sulis was no weak woman. She was far-seeing and knew things beyond earth, sea and sky. She knew her path, though the cloak of clouds was dark, and she called on the horses to follow it. As the horses pulled, she dismounted the chariot and lifted the axle on her own, carrying it forth, becoming bright herself in the process. Taranis was once again blinded, though this time it was with a beauty born of strength unexpected.
When Taranis saw this, he was in awe—so beautiful a goddess, and yet so strong in her own right. Ashamed, he averted his eyes, admitted the spying, and replaced the wheel. He set Sulis gently on her chariot, and began to ride his away.
As Sulis became once again visible in the daylight sky, and and the clouds receded, Taranis offered one final apology: he reflected the inner light of Sulis' beauty, and brought us the rainbow, the most magnificent display of fire in water.
Children of the earth, this is the story of the Wheel of the Sun, how the Thunderer stole it, and the beauty of his apology to an underestimated woman.
Some aspects of the story are common themes: the cross-dressing (though it's very muted) of the Thunder God; the image of Dawn as a maiden, blushing just in case anyone sees her; the world as bounded by waters on all sides; and the creation of a rainbow as a sort of promise are all things you find just about everywhere. I sort of riffed on those themes, not quite sure where the story would go, and found myself writing it mostly without pause from start to finish, not quite knowing how it would end, myself.
As I wrote the story above, I found myself writing from deep within my heart. Particularly at the forefront of my mind were some of my own relationships with very strong, beautiful women, and the feeling that sometimes, others forget that there's just so much more to them than a beautiful face.
In the end, the story is one part ancient mythology, one part creativity, and one part mythologizing the women I love so deeply because of their fathomless inner strengths. I would name them now, but I don't particularly want to embarrass them (or leave any of them out!). The central action of Sulis carrying the chariot, and her beauty being in her strength of character and knowledge of what is right, as well as its unexpected but true nature, is the key to this story, in my mind.
I loved telling the story in ritual. Getting the "Monty Python-esque falsetto" down for Taranis' hand-maiden alter-ego was something I tried to practice, but it came out so much better *in* ritual than outside of it that I have to call it Awen.
I particularly like the fact that it really went so well, and flowed so nicely. And, I hope, we'll find more of this sort of thing in our rituals, at least from time to time. It is good to praise the Kindreds with creativity and joy in our hearts, and it is good to let the folk know who these Kindreds really are.
Oh, and yeah, we got great omens :) Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes", -JB
|
June 30th, 2008
05:07 pm - Interfaith, Pride, and Bay Leaves
I have a feeling of inadequacy. Well, sort of. More to the point, I have a feeling that I have more to prove when I walk up onto a stage, behind a pulpit, or to the altar at an interfaith gathering than most anyone else there.
I remember looking around before the service at World AIDS Day and seeing my fellow clergypersons milling about, chatting, and generally being social. I was the only person in the room off in the corner working hard to nail down my part of the service. That was a frightening experience.
I felt at the time like I was the only person who hadn't studied enough to be confident in his words, or to speak clearly, or to convey his meaning. I felt like everyone else there was so darn comfortable with what they were doing, so well-practiced and rehearsed. I really felt like a child who has been asked to sing a silly song among adults. My words were even printed in the program, so there was no way I could ad-lib if I decided to let the moment take me. It was the most strictly ordered ritual I had ever participated in, and ever have since, with one exception recently.
( More about World AIDS Day )
Having a chance to actively work toward planning the Pride service from this past weekend, however, things were a bit different. Rather than being a "token non-Christian," I was fortunate to have another Pagan there, this one from Green Faerie Grove, which made two voices for Paganism in the midst of a small sea of majority religions. Instead of being shuffled into the service with a part already written that needed to be re-edited to be even a half-truth, I was given the opportunity to not only speak from the heart, but to speak the last words of the service.
I spent time again that morning, while others in the service spent time socializing or trying to organize photos, to work out what I wanted to say. I approached trees and placed my hand on them, feeling the rough bark. I knelt to the ground and felt the grass and the dirt. I listened as closely as I could to the Mother.
I watched the entire service. Some presenters were good, some alright. None were bad. But I still felt that same oppressive feeling: I have to represent, and I have to do it well. I listened to readings from the Bible and things written by Humanists. I heard Buddhist chants and music that was catchy and spirit-lifting. And here I was with no words in my head except a general awareness of the Earth Mother.
When it was my turn, I spoke something like this (this is as I remember it, and nowhere near entirely correct. . I'm hoping that a couple of revisions will make it truer to my words that day):
"I am Rev. Michael J Dangler, of Three Cranes Grove, ADF, a local Druid fellowship. We have always felt it was important to celebrate Pride, for we are all Children of the Earth Mother. Whether we believe were formed from clay and given life by the breath of a deity; made up of the elements of the periodic table; or born directly from the Mother herself, we all share our one Earth Mother. As we prepare to depart, we will ask for blessings from our Earth Mother this day. Thank you for coming to this service, and thank the organizers for holding it. It is our tradition, though you need not follow it, to kneel and touch the ground as we call out to the Earth."
Earth Mother, your children call out to you. You uphold us as we move through life, with each step we take. Let every step we take upon you today in pride and unity Be a step toward justice, understanding, and love.
Let us follow the footsteps of our Ancestors Who blazed trails long before us and fought for what was right. Let us hear the blessings of the Nature Spirits Who play among the trees and upon the wind. And let us go forth with the strength of the Shining Ones The deities we follow and love.
Earth Mother, mighty Kindreds, Bless our steps this day, and uphold us even in adversity.
Children of the Earth, Go in peace and blessings: This service is ended.
seamus_mcnasty and I had a conversation later on about why I feel the way I do around interfaith events. A lot of it has to do with a strong desire to prove that Paganism is worth inviting into interfaith events: no matter how much I may dislike it, each time I step in front of a mixed crowd, I am representing our religion to everyone there. I am very aware of that fact, and my natural stage fright and disinclination to speak for any other person at all starts to take over. This is probably why I appear so "together" at these interfaith things: I'm so very aware of how much responsibility gets placed upon me, and how ill-prepared I often feel to live up to that level of responsibility.
In the end, seamus_mcnasty said something that I really took to heart: we in ADF (and Cranes in particular) are not people who are inclined to rest on our laurels. We are always looking to better ourselves, probably because we see just how far we have to go. Zeno's Frog is apt here, for no matter how far we have gone, there is still just a bit further to get.
I suppose that's why I spend my "free" time studying, and why I cut into things I really want to do for ADF: there's just so much further to go. I haven't even scratched the surface. . .
The comment about "resting on our laurels" reminded me of something more, too, and (I think) made our Sunday ritual better. But you'll have to wait until later for that story. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: calm Current Music: "Rancho Deluxe", -JB
|
June 23rd, 2008
09:37 am - Good response! Thanks to those who have offered questions for divination up to now: so far, six people have sent things in, which is about perfect.
I will get to them starting tonight, and will start sending out notes in order received as I finish them!
Thanks (and if you still want a divination but haven't sent questions, I'm still able to do that). Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: chipper Current Music: "Island Fever", -JB
|
June 22nd, 2008
10:52 am - Divination anyone? *grins*
What are LJ friends for, if not there to respond to a feeling of frustration with assertions of support and friendship?
So, I asked in my last entry, "Frustration", if folks needed divination done. Looks like some folk are in need of it.
I'm not worried about quantity: I need five more, at minimum (I got one last night), but it's not so much about filling the requirement (though last night I just wanted to hit the nine and be done) as it is about getting experience doing readings for others. So, feel free to drop me a line and let me know what I can do for you.
You can use the contact form on my website* or you can email me direct if you have my email addy (I don't want to post it here) if you'd like a reading. Here are the simple things to note in the request:
1) a couple of questions, particularly questions that lead into each other. I prefer non-yes/no questions, though I can sometimes work with a yes/no. Examples might be: "What's my relationship with Tim like now?" "How does sleeping with Tammy affect this?" "What if I sleep with Brutus, instead?"
2) any background you might want to offer me (note: I won't pass this on. . . divination work is confidential, so far as I'm concerned).
3) How in-depth you're hoping to get with this. I can do a simple rune spread, with one rune for each, or I can do three runes per question, or something in between. You can also just leave it up to my discretion.
4) A note that it's okay if I include this in my CTP materials, which (as you may know) get posted on my website. All identifying information is removed, and I write these things in such a way that there's really no way to know who asked the question.
I hope to get back to folk within about a week or two (though ComFest is this coming weekend, which is hell). I'll get back around to everyone, however.
I use runes pretty exclusively, but for _crow365__, I'll only use the Necronomicon Tarot.
* - Yes, it asks for measurements. . . It's an old joke, that I'll explain later. Fill it in however you like or leave it blank, but I get the best responses to that little question. . . Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: awake Current Music: "Volcano", -JB
|
June 21st, 2008
05:03 pm - Frustration Some days, I get frustrated with my progress through the ADF Clergy Training Program. It's hard (and it just gets harder as it goes on). I just stood up, my brain hurting from trying to manage answering a question, and walked around in a circle, not really knowing why I got up in the first place. There's a specter of fear in my mind telling me that I just can't answer them, and that I'm simply not good enough.
Right now, I'm stuck on Divination 2. There, I need to provide nine divinations I've done for others. Right now, I only have access to notes for three. I cannot find others (though I know I've done others).
So, if anyone needs any sort of divination work done, please let me know. It would aid me greatly to do some divination for you.
I'm within two questions of finishing Divination 2 and one question of finishing Trance 1. I have nearly all the information I need to finish the biggest question in Trance 2, as well, but actually doing it is really hard for me. It's so hard for me to see the end but to feel like I simply cannot get there. I feel like Zeno's frog.
Well, back to work: complaining about it doesn't make it finish itself. I really, really want to finish Trance 1 today, and get a solid start on Trance 2. Perseverance is the virtue of today.
(If I could choose two "moods" for this post, it would be "frustrated, hopeful." But, alas, I cannot.) Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: "The Captain and the Kid", -JB
|
June 2nd, 2008
04:51 pm - 33% of bishops think 50% of priests suck? Huh? On many levels, it is entertaining to me how interested I have become in the Church of England over the past year or so since I started reading the CartoonChurch blog by Dave Walker. I've graduated from his blog to a blog called the Chuch Times Blog, which features some of his artwork.
A recent story entitled "'Poor quality' of vicars alarms Church leaders" is based off a leaked, confidential report done by a division of the CoE that found that Bishops are worried about the standards they hold their priests to, as well as their continued enthusiasm for priestly duties. Once upon a time, this might have been an interesting news point or a blip on the screen for the CoE.
Of course, in today's blogging world where every jerk-priest has his or her own blog (says the jerk-priest you're reading), things are different.
The priests have reacted rather bitterly (imagine that) to being called "low quality" and insinuating that their motivations and temperament are not entirely level, and that their sermons just aren't up to snuff. You can read a sampling of their responses yourself. Fortunately, most seem to be waiting to actually see a copy of the report, rather than simply reacting.
I see the point of the study. As a very distantly (and somewhat disinterested) party, I know exactly what the Bishops wanted to see out of this: they were seeking constructive, honest criticism of their own methods of ordaining and promoting clergy.
One comment stood out in particular to me:
Dear Dave, I am the senior manager of a large firm. Currently, we are facing a few problems - rising costs, falling sales, poor morale, people leaving - that sort of thing. Recently I have decided most of my new staff are a bit rubbish. I have issued a management report pointing this out. What should I do next? PS I am ultimately responsible for staff appointments. Indeed, those who are appointing and ordaining should be certain that they are ordaining at the quality that they wish to ordain. It is also vital that we don't necessarily look for people who are "perfect priests" when they're consecrated or ordained, just priests that we are confident will grow into the role (Gods know I'm still fumbling around in the dark half the time).
ADF's ordination process isn't actually "look-I-finished-this-study-program-now-when-do-I-get-consecrated?" though it often looks like that. Acceptance to the Clergy Training Program doesn't equal rights to become clergy, just the ability to become eligible. As I thought about this little hubbub over the CoE's own internal worries, I reflected on our own. I think that our Clergy Training Program goes a long way toward preparing people for clergy work, particularly as you advance through the second and third circles. Still, I find myself hoping that the Clergy Council Officers don't find themselves adding priests if they aren't sure that this person is capable and ready.
The CoE seems to be struggling even more than we are with the balance of providing support and the lack of qualified persons to provide that support (on the whole, I think we're actually doing pretty well). It's interesting to look at a four-hundred-plus-year-old institution and identify similar issues in our twenty-plus-year-old Org and ask, "Okay, how can we learn lessons from these guys?"
(And, of course, I can't help but wonder if my own consecration had issues of expectation or if those who consecrated me sometimes have doubts about me. But honestly, that thought isn't productive or important here. So this is just a note, in the spirit of openness.) Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: awake Current Music: "The Great Filling Station Holdup", -JB
|
May 16th, 2008
11:08 am - Easing on down the Path of Study in ADF Over the past weekend at Desert Magic, I was fortunate to sit around and banter about a variety of things with some great minds within ADF. And, because you all know me, no one will be surprised that we spoke about the current state of ADF's study programs.
Now that we have people working on Second Circle Clergy Training Program courses (and by Wellspring there will be at least one more person, with several more shortly after that), it's becoming more pressing to make sure that the courses are ready to go.
The CTP Outline shows how many classes need to be approved for Second Circle: four out of 12 are listed as "unwritten," though that word doesn't really indicate the fact of the matter.
There are completed requirement sets undergoing fine-tuning before presentation for three of those four, meaning that, really, only one class is still outstanding in the second circle of the CTP.
When Kirk and I sat down to revisit the Liturgist Guild Study Program last Sunday (and others joined us, notably Ceisiwr Serith, whose input was/is invaluable when it comes to liturgy), we hammered out five new courses, three of which should transfer directly into the Third Circle of the CTP as well (should the Clergy Council wish to go that route). We're also revisiting the structure of the original LGSP, which had a few issues. Fortunately, it won't affect current students at all.
It looks like only one course is left for the LGSP second Circle, and druidkirk is working hard on that one. We may have a lot of stuff done for our students by Summerland.
I'm excited to see where we can take this program, and where other programs will go as well. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: excited Current Music: "Lucky Stars", -JB
|
April 25th, 2008
08:53 am - Dreaming the CTP This morning, I awoke to a dream that I had been working on the ADF Clergy Training Program.
Now, if only I could remember what I wrote, because I think I finished Trance 2 in the dream. . . Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: awake Current Music: "First Look", -JB
|
April 16th, 2008
02:36 pm - Journeying through Religious Supplies Journeys into the local religious supply store are ever an adventure. With the need for a way to transport my vestments across the country without stuffing them into a sack, I ventured into one today at lunch.
Looking as I do right now, with my long-hippie-style hair and my black faux-military jacket with skulls on it, an old gas mask bag slung over my shoulder, I was not surprised to be greeted with a general distrust. The look I was given as the words, "How can I help you?" came out of the saleslady's mouth was really enough to inform me that she didn't truly want to help me.
Indeed, she suspected unsavory motives in my visit.
It's an odd feeling: stepping into a place that supplies religious items, and feeling religiously out of place. Not so much because you feel like you don't belong, but rather because you feel like someone else thinks you shouldn't belong.
I told her I was fine, and knew what I was looking for. I spent five minutes rummaging through vestments, checking robe length against garment bag length, looking for a way to carry my white robe across the country without getting it wrinkly, dingy or dirty. I wanted something that would be easy to carry onto a plane (so no bags that just had hangers for handles) and that would be durable enough to handle being thrown into the bowels of a cargo compartment if needed.
I was slowly becoming frustrated: the concept isn't hard, is it? I'm positive that the clergy of other religions take their vestments with them across the country, and they're probably far more worried about wrinkles than I am. There had to be a solution there.
Well, the saleslady came back out and asked me what I was looking for. At the time, I was browsing through a catalogue of vestments, trying to find what length I needed. I could tell she still had reservations, and I saw her sweep her eyes across the expensive items in the case in front of me, but she was less willing to judge my motives and more willing to sell me something. I have a feeling that her boss had gotten involved.
I informed her of what I was looking for, and pointed out the vestments I already had. I expressed some dissatisfaction with the length of the garment bags on hand, and she suggested a garment portfolio instead, pointing me to a bag I had not seen yet.
I looked this over. Slightly dirty, somewhat worn, and not particularly impressive looking, but sturdily constructed and wide enough to fit my robe: it passed the real tests. I thanked her and said I'd take this under consideration, too (noting to myself that it was twice as expensive as the most expensive garment bag there). I began to wander around the rest of the store, bag in hand, and she watched me as I wandered through candles and a variety of other religious artificats (such as a statue of Christ being tackled by a child during a football game).
In the end, I settled in my mind on this bag, and took it to the counter. I went to pay with my card, and showed her my ID. She eyed it somewhat suspiciously, and another cashier looked at it and said, "Hey, the guy on the ID doesn't have long hair!"
"Well, it's been over a year since I cut it," I said.
The second cashier added, "Oh, I know how that can go. Sometimes, you're just too busy. But, it makes you look more like Jesus."
I ignored the last comment. Not to be rude, but because it really didn't sink in until I had already started speaking, still on my last thought. "I figure I can grow it out long enough to donate it, perhaps."
Now the saleslady who had eyed me so darkly and suspiciously for the past twenty minutes was very friendly: her face brightened and a smile sprang to her lips. "Oh, well that's a wonderful thing!" She took another look at the bag. "You know," she said, "the bag is a bit dingy and it doesn't look very new. Let's take 20% off."
Looks create interesting perceptions among people. I've been learning a lot about what clothes can do for you, and how people perceive someone with long hair. It is interesting to me how age makes a difference, as do place in life and occupation, in how others perceive your choices of style and personal expression.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go teach a child how to hold a golf club. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "Margaritaville", -JB
|
February 20th, 2008
10:20 am - Fair Trade Cannibalism, Expensive Oils, and Spam Divination I suddenly think that the world needs more Anglicans. They have fair trade communion wine.
What interests me most about this is, once it's transubstantiated, does that make Christ fair trade as well? (Not that all Anglicans believe in transubstantiation, but still. . . it's a fair question: I hear fair trade cannibalism is all the rage.)
Of course, we've been purchasing locally-made and organic stuff for years for our rituals, and working our way into free trade products as often as possible (though it's hard to find free trade certified sacrifices, truth be told).
As an example, the olive oil that we've used is imported from Greece, and it was the first organic olive oil available from Greece that's for sale in the States. It's made on a cooperative farm (i.e. a "co-op") on the Mani Peninsula in Greece. The issue is this: it's expensive (about $15/500 mL) and it doesn't come in the giant bulk metal vats here in the States. One bottle lasts about one and a half rituals. We spend far more on olive oil than we do on silver for our rites, and that says something.
Now, we're not tied to our particular brand (Kalamata Gold), but the search for something of an equally high quality that is cheaper hasn't been so fruitful (no puns intended). Not too long ago, I found that my Grove had an inside joke about me and the olive oil I buy, and I'm not surprised.
The issue is that we've had bad experiences with cheap olive oil as a Grove. The most memorable one was when I was preparing for an Imbolc rite three years ago and dropped a bottle full of olive oil in the kitchen just before the rite. I had just grabbed the bottle from our cupboards earlier that week and put it with the ritual gear: it was just the normal oil we used for cooking every day (which I naturally figured would be just fine). We've had oils that just wouldn't burn (or, worse, nearly put out the fire on one occasion), and oils that have broken or tipped during transportation. We have never, though, had any trouble with this brand.
In any event, the Druids of Columbus, OH, have never been the kind of people to buy sacrifices without a lot of thought and some real consideration toward what the sacrifice means. And that is a comforting thought to me.
On a side note, when I get spam like this:
There were sledgehammerhead sharks, and what a surprise, eightyfour crabs, I often think, "You know, I should really make a spam oracle for my site. . ." I wouldn't be the first to come up with the idea (I've seen SpamPoetry and SpamScrying), but it would be entertaining.
And it might make more sense than either Jimmy or Homer. It would certainly make more sense than the Christians. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "Take Another Road", -JB
|
February 8th, 2008
05:54 pm - Church Crumbling
I have watched with interest as the UK press has sensationalized comments by Archbishop Rowan Williams recently, particularly with headlines like today's "Archbishop of Canterbury argues for Islamic law in Britain" and the "Archbishop says nativity 'a legend'" (of course, Fox News got in on the fun with that second one, so it's not just the Brits).
What interests me most, though is that something like either of those (which are obviously just completely out of context headlines) would cause some Pagans to leave an organization, if the head of that Org did that.
I imagine that the thought of leaving their church (as an organization) very, very rarely crosses the mind of a Christian, particularly someone born and raised in that faith. Christians seem, in general, far more likely to hold onto their denominational identity than Pagans do. Even in the case of a major break (such as the Anglican Communion has recently experienced, with American churches joining communion with Nigerian churches or the Worldwide Anglican Communion), rarely will they leave their denomination over something so small as a difference in belief, politics, or who gets to be ordained.
Pagans, in general, are an interesting mix of "joiners" and "leavers." We join organizations like they're sweet candy, and we leave them like they're so many wrappers. This may have something to do with the little, tiny ponds we swim in, or it might have more to do with the general protestantism of Neo-Paganism, where every person is their own priest and just as able to contact the divine as the next guy wearing a dress. Whatever it is, it interests me terribly.
If a Pagan church didn't ordain women, the Pagans would leave. If Skip (ADF's Archdruid) said the US should adopt Sharia (or was quoted as saying that), people would get huffy and probably decide ADF wasn't for them (and, of course, probably without asking him about it). I have a feeling, too, that this might also be a percentage sort of thing: 200 people leaving the Anglican Communion is a drop in the bucket compared to 200 people leaving ADF.
It may also be a question of the amount of work someone wants to put into an organization that they feel doesn't match with their path any longer: becoming "unchurched" is a lot harder than not renewing your ADF dues or ceasing to attend coven functions: you actually have to actively work at it (I still get notices from a number of churches I belonged to as a kid, here and there around the Midwest. . . ADF, PSA, and N14 are as easy to stop hearing from as unsubscribing from a mailing list; the Christian churches would take active contact to stop their missives. . . I can't even simply move without them finding me).
Anyway, it's interesting to watch conflict within a church from several angles in several different churches. It could be an interesting spectator sport: "Church Crumbling" is what I imagine it would be called.
I need some popcorn now. . . Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: awake Current Music: "Rancho Deluxe", -JB
|
January 27th, 2008
09:51 am - Adventures in Linux (or, Saving Six Study Program Documents from Certain Doom) Not long ago, I actually got "real" internet access at home. This consists of the cheapest possible DSL connection that I could possibly obtain: $15/month, which I split down the center with Tina. Since it's on my phone bill, it's not an extra bill, just more like an extra feature.
I also received red_sput's computer from my parents at about the same time. He had run into the classic confusing issue of "Windows just shuts down before fully booting," which indicated that there was some sort of issue with his WinXP installation. I offered to look at it, but he bought a new computer back in November, so it wasn't really urgent.
When I pressed the power button, the computer sprang to life, and I watched in amusement as the entire thing booted and popped into Windows with no problems at all. "I have it working," I told my father, who had seen it not work before. "What did you do?" he asked. "I turned it on." "Huh, nothing else?" "No," I said, "nothing else. There's a magical aura that tech support people have that makes it impossible to replicate an issue once the computer is in their hands. I have that aura."
It turns out that the issue was a combination of spyware, viruses, and (as I soon found out) a faulty hard drive.
Since then, I've been playing around with the machine (and am currently typing on it). I've used it for all sorts of things, from gaming to updating the Three Cranes site. But two days ago, I heard that ominous clicking on boot.
The hard drive had gone. Gone, daddy, gone.
While there was nothing of actual importance on this machine, I did have some ADF Clergy Training Program work saved on this machine and it was not yet backed up. While I can always re-write some of this stuff, I was kicking myself for falling victim to something I've told many, many Dedicants over the years: back your work up!
As a result, I went back to a solution I used last time a hard drive died: Linux.
( Geeky stuff ahead, but interesting )
In short, I think that the older versions of Knoppix are what I recommend and will probably stick with if I actually have to do anything in the future.
For the really short term, though, I'm just going to get a new hard drive for this bad boy and use my flash drive to back everything up until this one finally craps out. While it's on its last legs, I did manage to get back into Windows and boot from the hard drive. I noticed yesterday that the hard drive had appeared in Knoppix, meaning that it's working temporarily. So for now, the machine is intact. Sorta.
Did I mention there's also a c-clamp holding the monitor together?
I love computer repair and support. It can be so. . . ghetto. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "Mac the Knife", -JB with Frank Sinatra
|
January 18th, 2008
05:05 pm - Sin City Is Where the Holy Make Money! I received my W2 today from Ohio State, which happens every year. This year, though, I made more than last year (always a positive thing), and broke a number in my pay that I've been shooting at for years. As a result, I have revised my internal sense of worth and my goals about what I would like to earn in my current job, with an eye to future employment as well.
Just as a matter of curiosity, I decided to see how I compare with others in my field. To do this, I landed at the Bureau of Laber Statistics.
I learned some things about my current occupation (mostly that I get paid pretty much normally, which is disappointing because I can't complain as much as I'd hoped), but stumbled onto something far more interesting: the statistics for what clergy earn, nationally speaking:
BoLS Stats on Clergy
It looks like Nevada, where the mean pay for a clergyperson is $55,700, is the place to go if you want to marry and bury people for a living. Here in Ohio, the mean pay for clergy is $37,290 per year (in Columbus proper, the mean pay for clergypersons is $43,110 per year).
Of course, I'm not paid to be clergy. It's odd, though, to see that people *do* get paid to be clergy, and they get paid a damn sight better than I do at my "real" job.
I've recently been thinking about my clergy-ing, and my actual job (which, I should mention, is on the up-and-up recently), and I thought about it like this:
I have two jobs. One that doesn't pay enough cash, and one that doesn't pay any cash at all. One I don't like, and one I love. One I spend 40 hours per week doing, and one I spend 50-60 hours doing, without overlap. One that is a paycheck, and one that pays in amazing and unexpected dividends I can't cash anywhere. I don't think that most people realize how much time I put into both these jobs. I'm not sure I realize how much time I put into both (or I didn't, until I started thinking about it three weeks ago).
I wish I could just do the clergy thing. I drive past churches at night and see the priest planning out his blocking for that Sunday's service through the window. I see another priest changing the sign in front of his church, adding a stupid slogan like, "Fight truth decay: brush up on your Bible daily!" I go to an interfaith service and I'm underprepared, a bit lost, and too short on time to actually help beyond the actual meeting (i.e. you can't count on me to do any sort of homework or volunteer for additional meetings). I often find myself a bit jealous of other clergypersons: I want to do those things!
I've made time for a lot of the really important things that I feel I need to do as Clergy, and it's the sort of stuff I really love. Despite that, it's taken a bit of a toll on some of my personal relationships over the years, and I almost never manage to complete a conversation over email anymore.
The odd thing is, though: I'm not tired, nor lacking energy. I'm not feeling the "burn" that so many people get. I understand my limits and what I'm doing in the scheme of things. In fact, I'm actually busier now than I have been in my life, and yet I'm also more productive and putting out a higher quality of work.
In all, life is pretty good.
Let's see where it takes me, shall we? Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "Landfall", -JB
|
January 8th, 2008
09:06 am - What has it gots in its pocketses? This morning Usas followed her sister, gave way to Surya, and promised to return tomorrow. That is a small measure of warmth after last night.
This morning, I came across a post on CartoonChurch.Com, a blog I commonly visit because Dave's insight into "things clergy" is excellent, if Anglican rather than Pagan. The post is about "Things Clergy Carry," and reading through it, many of the suggestions are remarkably apt.
Myself, I carry matches and a tealight (we're a fire religion, after all), as well as my calendar and a pen. I wish I could carry a fire extinguisher, too (just because fire is sacred doesn't mean we have to be stupid about it). I also tend to carry around a jackknife, and keep a Swiss Army knife with a corkscrew in the car. I also carry some personal religious paraphernalia that's just for me, and (of course) my goddamned cell phone.
I'm re-thinking some of the things I keep in my glovebox and trunk now, though. While the last thing I need is more "stuff" in "places," it's good food for thought. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: awake Current Music: "Truckstop Salvation", -JB
|
January 2nd, 2008
04:17 pm - A random entry of joy, football, and mice I ended 2007 being remarkably happy, in all honesty. For the past three months, I have been driving home from work with a satisfied smile on my face, and can occasionally be seen grinning from ear-to-ear and pleasantly surprised with how good my life is.
I look forward to a 2008 that is just as lovely and wonderful.
I could go on about the new year, but honestly, my new year happened sometime last November, and the secular one doesn't do much for me (I ended up sleeping through this one, as I have the previous 28 I've been around for).
I spent last night with the Georgia-Hawaii game on mute (the Sugar Bowl wasn't what the Hawaiians expected, and poor Georgia had to make lemonade out of them), writing up one of my Divination 2 requirements (the last one left).
Also, the Chocolate Mouse is caught (actually, she was caught before Christmas). Indeed, double chocolate praline is actually useful for something after all. Who would have thought? She goes out on her ear at the first sign of a warm snap (after a little over a week of keeping her in the warm house, I can tell she's simply not going to be happy as a pet mouse. . . She's damn cute, though).
But really, I cannot begin to describe how happy I am and have been, even if it may not come though my writing recently. . . I've been too busy to do a lot of writing, and I only post about serious¹ stuff when I get busy.
--
¹ - If by "serious" we mean "ACLU-destroying amulets for Christians." And of course we do. . . Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "Off to See the Lizard", -JB
|
December 18th, 2007
04:08 pm - Priests in a People's Church - A Short Review I recently picked up a copy of the book Priests in a People's Church from the library. Well, I technically picked it up from the Univeristy of Dayton, who loaned it to OSU, who I borrowed it from.
Anyway, I really, really like this book, despite the fact that it's written for priests in the Anglican communion. A number of the concepts expressed are certainly relevant to all clergy, regardless of path or tradition.
Here are some key concepts from the book (with some personalization):
- The Priest as Focus: the priest is the person the congregation most depends on. S/He also depends on them, but the congregation has the ability trust that the priest will always be there, while the priest cannot always rely on the congregation to be there. S/He has to do some things even when no one else wants to do them.
- Clergy as Center of the Vortex: at the center of many converging lines, the priest doesn't have the luxury of exiting the religious sphere. This has a double-meaning in ADF and Paganism, where clergy truly do stand at the Center.
- Clergy as Outsiders: No matter how integral the priest is, s/he is not part of the "normal" world. Priests are seen as "apart" from the normal community, despite the reliance the community has on them. There are feelings that the priest's place is not in the social setting, but rather in the Grove. Many priests find themselves very lonely very often. On top of this, the vision of a priest is different; their worldview changes with ordination/consecration. Seeing things differently is not only a spiritual thing, but a job requirement, too, as it takes real work to see multiple sides of an issue.
- Clergy as Exemplars of Virtue: Priests are held to a different standard. It's not conscious, and no priest will actively complain about it, but even in traditions without absolute morals (like our own), priests are expected to live up to a higher standard. In this sense, clergy ceases to be about personal development along a religious path, and is replaced with expectation of achievement of (near) perfection along that path.
- Priests are Easy Victims: It's easy to blame clergy for things, mostly because they take it so well and they often feel they have no recourse when a person becomes angry with them. They can't get angry, nor can they respond in kind, they feel, because they are aware of being always in the spotlight.
- Priesthood as Externally Defined: what a priest "does" has less to do with what s/he actually does than what people say/perceive s/he does. What does a priest do? Congregants often think they know exactly what the clergy is doing. Generally, they're wrong. But that simple fact doesn't change their impressions or expectations.
Of course, none of the above is me complaining about the state of things, and I'm not much of one to have been turned into a victim or held to a high standard all that often, but I have experience with each of these things, and I can see how these things can easily get out of control very, very quickly if the priest is not equipped to deal with them.
There are many other wonderful things in this book that can help priests (or perspective priests) of any tradition, including dealing with violence, narcissism, and even the media.
Really, if you get the chance to grab this one, about 80% of the book is directly pertinent to any sort of clergy, with the remaining 20% being applicable just to Anglican clergy (but still very well written).
And now, I'm off to return the book: it's 50¢ per day that it's late, and it was due yesterday! Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: "Today's Message", -JB
|
December 3rd, 2007
05:43 pm - Two months? Really? Last night, I made a resolution to write to the inmate I work with, and to do so once per week. I realized recently that I was already writing something for the Grove once per week, so I might as well package that and send it off. If nothing else, it will help someone feel like they're a part of something.
Today, I also sent my old Yule Ritual, which was written so that it could be done without offerings. I have recently been thinking about writing a full cycle of 8 solitary rites. Hell, I already write them for me; it wouldn't be hard to actually type them up.
It's been almost two months since I've written to the prison, though. I feel terrible about that: it's not like I'm not thinking about it, because it consumes a high portion of my thoughts. But, like all things, I have trouble actually managing to do it sometimes. I hope that I can manage to send things more often. I recently told my best friend that I spend so much time thinking about people, and enjoying the thoughts and the knowledge that I love them deeply, but I don't ever remember to say it. I don't call people up to tell them I was thinking about them. I don't send them letters, or I half-write them and don't send them because I get side-tracked.
Two months. Geez. What the hell, ya know? What the hell was I doing that was more important?
But then, I ask that question so often about so many things, it seems. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "Waiting for the Next Explosion", -JB
|
October 18th, 2007
09:07 am - Ritual Stress, and Unstressing Yesterday, well: it was rough. Mostly, I had a rite that I really wanted to go well last night, but which I was really, really worried about. I'd spent a lot of time working through songs and trying to get them ready to go, and to learn them, only to end up forgetting melodies and underestimating the time needed to learn them.
Work has put me under more stress than usual, as well: I've been working my ass off for five solid weeks with no end in sight. Combine that with my usual pre-ritual anxiety and you have one basket-case of a priest.
It wasn't until I began to ritually pack the altar items we'd need that I finally started to calm down. There's something about going through the rite and all the stuff that's remarkably calming on me.
In the end, it turned out not to be the quality of our singing that was vitally important to Cantlos, our "ritual of songs" for this Druid Moon; it was the amusement and joy I saw on people's faces around the fire. Between forgotten words, failed reading of the lyrics, and our Grove's general "I-don't-sing" sentiment, the rite was full of songs and laughter and new jokes. Honestly, it was rather fun.
Props to the Grove for that processional, btw. Definite props.
I wouldn't have ever dared to do a ritual with that many songs and that little rehearsal as a public rite, but as a Grove rite, it was a lot more relaxed and fun. It may not have been as excellent as we could have made it, but we certainly learned a lot from it (like next Sept., we're going to need a meeting where all we do is rehearse songs for this ritual, and write new ones).
And boy, my Trance Journal got a hell of an entry on last night. I'm still not sure what to think of all that, but I see a lot of room for improvement on induction and focus.
We've a long way to go toward excellence with this particular rite, but I think we can manage it well. We have a year to look at it again, and the omens were not at all bad, though I think that the Powers were perhaps a bit confused by the shear number of songs we used, and possibly by the number of people making up songs on the fly, a la druidkirk. The omens are speaking to me more strongly this morning.
A favourite part of the rite last night, though, was after the rite: sitting and singing/listening to karaoke with the Grove. I was there until 11:30 (when I figured our hosts might like to get some sleep. . .)
The next Druid Moon Rite, Samonios, is already in the formal planning stages now; I'll be chatting with the Grove tonight about what they'd like to do at the next Druid Moon. I suspect that removing the variable of *that many* songs will help a lot in the planning (and my subsequent stress). But I'm particularly looking forward to December's Druid Moon Rite, where we get to go back to doing initiations for a night.
That's something I really look forward to doing again. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "What if the Hokey-Pokey is All It Really Is About?", -JB
|
October 16th, 2007
12:56 pm - World AIDS Day thoughts? Last Sunday, I attended an interfaith meeting for World AIDS Day here in Columbus (Dec. 1, 2007). This was my first "real" interfaith meeting where I actually had credentials and was going to represent a (generally) Pagan and (specifically) Druidic view on issues.
I learned a lot from the meeting, but in particular, I stumbled on something I need some help from the larger community with.
In the interfaith service (now actually interfaith, as I'm the token non-Christian there at the moment), we have the opportunity to submit prayers, poetry, and music that celebrates life or memorializes those who have lived it, and particularly life with HIV/AIDS and living in a community affected by it.
I'm posting to the ADF-Bardic list and the ADF-Liturgists list in an effort to find pieces that fit, as well as ADF-LGBT. I'm also posting in my LJ in the hopes that the greater community might have suggestions.
So, does anyone have suggestions about prayers to be said, songs to be sung, or poems that might make this event better? Even better, does anyone want to try their hand at writing one of those sorts of things? Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: curious Current Music: "When Salome Plays the Drums", -JB
|
|
|