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November 4th, 2009
02:02 pm - Ritual Performance Clinics, and the CTP3 Plan There's been interest in setting up a sort of Ritual Performance Clinic for the Grove. I've been brainstorming, and I'm currently looking at about 7 different sessions:- Cosmological Issues
- Ritual Space – Configuration, Management, and Use
- Praying With a Good Fire – Choosing Focus, Writing Prayers, Making Offerings
- Exercise: Three Prayers in Three Minutes
- Ritual Scaling – Considerations for Small, Medium, and Large Rites
- Exercise: Classification and Scaling
- Running a Rite – From Outlines to Fire Extinguishers
- Exercise: "Lickity-Split"
- Performance Concerns – Vocalization, Nerves, Memorization, and Engaged Reading
- Exercise: Warmups and Rundowns
- Wrap-up – Punting, Casting, and Trust
I am thinking about opening this up beyond just our Grove, since we have so many folk in the area, and doing it on a Saturday in December to give folks who can make a day-trip down (or up, as the case may be) a chance to do so.
Depending on a few things, there may be a small charge to attend, too. It would be nice if, should I decide that we need materials (and we most certainly will, if I do what I'd like to do) or need to rent space, I don't have to cover it myself. Of course, if any charge comes into it, it's got to be a well-done program, and it should be reasonable enough that anyone could afford it (I'm thinking $5-$10, if I can manage to keep it at that level).
Then, of course, I hope to have an OL article out of at least a few of these sections.
I have also come up with a set of goal completion dates for my CTP 3 work, in hopes of becoming eligible to apply for Ordination as an ADF Priest before Summerland 2010. (For those scoring at home, I'm consecrated as an ADF Dedicant Priest; ordination is the next step, and confers ADF Priesthood for life. . . assuming the Priest remains in ADF, of course.) Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "Island Fever", -JB
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November 3rd, 2009
10:28 am - A new job in ADF As of November 1, 2009, I became the ADF Clergy Council Preceptor via appointment from the Archdruid. This means that it's my job to:- review CTP submissions that come in;
- keep the process of voting and approval for Initiate Path and Clergy Training Program entrants on track;
- ensure reviews of Dedicant Path documentation are completed for both the IP and CTP; and
- ensure that all this is done in a timely manner.
I am fortunate that I do not bear responsibility for CTP 1 work (it's GSP work, mainly, which goes to the GSP Preceptor) and that I have the ability to appoint deputies for when the amount of grading gets out of hand.
Interestingly, after having been in ADF for nearly a decade, this is the first real position of responsibility I have had with the exception of Senior Druid and Dedicant Priest, both minor roles in the scheme of things in ADF. It's still not an elected position on the organizational level, but it's probably the most visible position I will hold in the foreseeable future.
I tend to aim for an expected turn-around time of 1 week for submission reviews, and now I'm in a position to actually make that sort of promise for the program I'm administering. In the past, I have been responsible only for my own turnaround times on reviews, but I now find myself as the place where the buck stops.
Another issue is that I have had the luxury to consistently pass off submissions from people close to me to other reviewers to ensure that their work is not unfairly questioned because I might be partial to their work. I have often worried about impressions that I play favourites, or that I might grade someone easier because I know them well (those who know me and have submitted to me also know that I am actually a right bastard when it comes to their work, and I'm actually a bit harder on them in general because I often know that they can do better). I can't really do that anymore, as we have such a tiny pool of reviewers to work from and such a large number of students; I will have to take many submissions I would not have taken in the past, and I will have to trust that folk trust me to not let anyone pass if they do not meet the requirements. Given my own general insecurities, I suspect it will be harder for me to believe in that trust than it will be to actually gain it.
Anyway, I am hoping to make the processes that I engage in more visible, more accessible, and more timely. We shall see how that goes, but I am hoping for something I can really work with.
Oh, and Chronarchy.Com has a front page update. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus", -JB
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October 29th, 2009
09:09 am - CTP 2 completed I received word this morning that my Ethics 1 course, the last outstanding course for my Clergy Training Program Circle 2 work, has been approved. I cleaned up the document (removed comments and such that were a byproduct of the grading) and sent it back in, so an announcement should go out later today.
I'm very proud of the work I did on this circle, particularly on Ethics 1, actually (I was afraid that I would be stuck in endless re-writes on this course, and I ended up with only one minor re-write to contribute). I have found that I have been able to use this training beyond my roles in ADF, and much of it has worked its way into my secular work life as well.
This does several things for me: 1) it puts another Circle of training behind me and allows me to really dig into the next round of courses without worrying about re-writes on previously-submitted courses; 2) organizationally, it provides me with demonstrated work for further extensions of my clergy credentials (I am entering my third year as an ADF Priest now); and 3) it gives me a much-needed confidence boost to keep myself on-track for course completion.
I saw real personal growth as I worked my way through this Circle. I'm a very different person now than I was three years ago, and I think that is for the better. I look forward to the changes that come from my work on CTP3.
Tomorrow, I'll be updating my website, Chronarchy.Com in preparation of this new Circle of training. It has been a full year since I last updated the front page with new material (rather than just course completions), and I am looking forward to several changes in the way the page is built and the focus on it. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: "Death of an Unpopular Poet", -JB
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October 15th, 2009
03:52 pm - Re-viewing my work I have just finished reading the responses that Ian Corrigan provided when he approved my coursework prior to my initiation. I thoroughly enjoy the responses he's provided to me in the past: they are generally detailed, full of thoughtful suggestions, and always to the point with a bit of humour. (Apparently, due to a spelling error, I indicated that new GO's get mentors from other groves who "ass" those new GO's. I think I meant "assist.")
Going through those comments, though, also gave me a chance to review my own work, which, aside from being full of spelling errors because I write everything in notepad anymore, is actually pretty good. I was particularly pleased with myself when I re-read the trance induction for lighting a fire.
I honestly didn't remember writing this piece, and reading it was like reading it for the first time. I suspect that I was so focused on getting the job done that I just sort of missed the fact that I was doing the job, if that makes any sense.
I'm focusing on CTP3 work now, getting a good amount done in advance of completion of CTP 2, actually (my papers are in pending review), which is nice.
Ah, well: back to burying my head in spreadsheets! Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "Southern Cross", -JB
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October 12th, 2009
02:06 pm - A series of oaths, a series of changes You know, in many ways, the initiation I went through changed the game I was playing, deepening it and setting new rules. I like to talk about Huizinga's notion of Homo Ludens as vastly superior to Eliade's Homo Religiosis, but I find myself encountering Huizinga's theories on a very real and intimate level in my life.
The rules have changed for me a few times since I started in ADF: my Patron Oath, Dedicant Oath, Consecration Oath, and now my Initiation Oath have all changed the rules ever so slightly, but also so significantly.
My Patron Oath brought me into deeper relationship with Esus and Eris, and it has led to many great things while keeping me grounded and flexible all at once. New rules included building commitment while also deepening understanding in exploration and boundary-pushing.
My Dedicant Oath led me to a place where I was committed in a new way to Our Druidry, where my world was re-framed and brought into sharp focus. There, a new cosmovision sprang forth, and my life has since been filled with spirits and allies I never dreamed would be available to me before. This was pivotal in how I viewed the world.
My Consecration Oath turned a corner I did not expect, and brought me to a place of deeper piety and unfathomable commitment to the rites and rituals of Our Druidry. It also provided me with a commitment to "pay forward" that which I had learned, to bring that training to others and help others through it.
My Initiation Oath took me through deep passages in the earth and high corridors of stars in the heavens, and provided me with new tools and new focus, both in terms of the practical work I had done to get to that point, and in terms of the lessons learned from initiation. It is as if I am seeing the cosmos for the first time, and I understand fully my place within it.
My next oath will be an oath at Ordination, I suspect. I don't know what it will bring, but I can only tell you that it will likely redefine this cosmos yet again, and I am likely to see the world through new eyes, and to have new training and lessons with which to focus them, yet again.
I am excited to see where this leads, and to learn what I can do to help lead others through the mists whose paths become known. In all cases, though, any change that may come requires me to accept the new rules. This is not as simple as saying "yes, I agree to these rules." It is a complicated process of discovering the new rules, agreeing to abide by them, and then acting in accordance with them: recognition, agreement, and action. These are the three steps my oaths have taken and will take. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: awake Current Music: "Travelin' Clean", -JB
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August 27th, 2009
02:08 pm - Discussion from the Panel at Summerland, 2009 After discussion in my last post about the utility of the Summerland Panel Discussion, "The Future of ADF," I thought I'd post the product of my own work here. Part of what left me so disheartened was a response consisting only of crickets when I finished, which either means I had explained things so well, or the whole thing fell flat. I give it about a 50/50.
So, I thought about this for a while, and I still want to get the info out, because I feel that it's very important to provide. So here's basically what I said, in brief:
Future Plans for Clergy Training in ADF
First of all, I have to give deep thanks to Ian Corrigan, Carrion, romandruid and druidkirk for the support and help that they've given throughout the process of creating the Clergy Training Program (CTP) up to this point. Right now, for the first time since 1998, we have a cohesive set of exit standards that one can complete and have approved that will lead to full ordination as an ADF Priest. This is one if Isaac's central vision points: a rigorous, solid training program for our Priests that gives them an education that can be compared to mainstream religions.
That said, it is not necessarily on par with mainstream religious training for priests. We have a very long way to go.
Our training currently consists of outlines of exit standards: CTP Cicles 2 and 3 have complete guides available, but CTP 1 does not at this time. The guides for CTP 2 and 3 are in need of expansion into a real program, fleshed out to provide training, not just test it. Resources need to be consistently updated, and CTP 1, in particular, needs to be drawn into a guide that provides a lot of preliminary information and resource work.
Further, additional hands-on instruction needs to be developed: between videos of rituals, individual mentorship programs, and week-long (required) intensives at various points around the country, there's a lot of ground to cover. Rubrics and exit standard clarifications need to be provided.
One place that we've begun to move away from is the notion of assigning remedial Dedicant Path work: rather than finding a DP "inadequate" to the CTP training, we have started to draw on the full set of courses within ADF's various study programs and recommend additional work in order to provide further training instead of returning to old work and forcing repetition. This rests on the notion that challenging students with work that builds on previous work will bear fruit in a way that revisiting central concepts along may not. . . and will hopefully help them reinforce any core concepts that they may not completely comprehend. Remedial work is still a possibility, but it's far less likely now.
I mentioned earlier that this training program isn't perfect: it probably never will be. The original CTP Circle 1 was designed to be a bit more clergy-like than it turned out to be: this is a result of a need to pass something to get the ball rolling (it turned out that this was an excellent idea). Because of this, CTP 1 is identical to the First Circle of the Generalist Study Program, and it does not teach some skills that are probably necessary for clergy work.
To correct this, there are already plans to rebalance the CTP, to reduce the front-end weight of the academics and distribute several already-approved-but-not-required courses through the CTP in a logical way. We are patiently waiting for a few more students to work through the current program before we begin revisions, as we want to have experience behind us when we seek to revise. The current time-frame for such revisions rests at around 2011 or 2012, at which point we hope to have many more people having worked through CTP 1, 2, and 3.
There's much to do yet with clergy training within ADF, but it is a clearly evolving (and planned) process that we have going on. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: calm Current Music: "I Will Play For Gumbo", -JB
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August 13th, 2009
11:44 am - Wow: Moving right along, it seems I look at where I am today in my CTP work and where I was just last week: I'm four questions away from completing CTP2.
I'm still struggling with the king/virgin dynamic (IE Studies 2) and the "why are deities jerks" question (IE Myth 2). I'm pending a book from the library by Maslach and Leiter about burnout (it seems to have been lost in the move from the Ackerman Stacks to the Thompson Stacks) to finish two questions in Leadership Development 1.
It is entirely possible that I could complete all four courses before Summerland, or even (if I get my book) before the "new" deadline I set for the first of them: Saturday.
CTP 2 is really the bear of the circles of study within our Training Program. It's heavy on academics and light on experience in some courses, and heavy on experience and light on academics in others. No matter who you are, you're going to hit a roadblock now and again. Being one of the first people to complete some of these courses made it worse, since druidkirk and I turned out to be guinea pigs for some pretty atrocious wording errors, minimum word counts, and repetitive questions.
Still overcoming those (annoyingly self-imposed, since I wrote most of them) obstacles has been highly educational.
Around 10:30 PM last night, I completed Ethics 1, ten questions I must admit I don't often ask myself. It was less research intensive than I expected, and more discussive of my personal thoughts and feelings. I learned a lot about myself in the process of answering those questions, too. Putting the Ethics 1 answers up is sort of like putting a naked picture of yourself up on the 'net, though: you wonder first if it's a good idea, and second who would even want to look at it?
I still have some outstanding submissions that were submitted but never reviewed, which isn't a big deal to me (though it appears that they're approaching a year of "just sitting"). I know that my work is good, and it's not like a "stamp of approval" has ever had an affect on my spirituality. Still, I suspect that at Summerland, I'll need to shove paper copies in front of the Clergy Council Preceptor and get them reviewed.
I cannot help but think though, about how impossible completion looked just two weeks ago, and how entirely possible it looks now. In fact, it looks like a foregone conclusion that I'll be finished by Summerland. It astounds me how much the simple action of re-setting my goal dates appears to have kicked me in the ass and gotten me moving.
I'm actually very eager to start on CTP3. Look for an update when I'm done with CTP 2 as to what my plan will be for the Third and Final Circle of the ADF Clergy training Program. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: excited Current Music: "Summerzcool", -JB
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August 7th, 2009
02:45 pm - Virgins, Kings, and CTP roadblocks As I wait (and wait, and wait and wait some more) for the Windows 7 image to download to my hard drive, burn to a disk, and get uploaded to the software site I maintain, I end up reflecting on many things regarding my CTP work.
First, it seems that I'm not real good with the "King-and-Virgin" interaction in various IE cultures. Sure, there are Celtic ones, but I'm displeased by the lack of other cultures. I posted on my LJ the other day that sometimes the ADF Clergy Training Program questions are harder for me because I wrote so many of them, and this is a solid example. I'm avoiding the use of the Mahabharata as long as possible, as it's so well into the classical Hindu age of India that I don't know what to do with it. And I don't really want to talk about Math's feet all that much on the Celtic side.
This, of course, puts me in a hell of a position regarding that question. I don't really want to break down and re-gurge something, but I might have to. I think I'll spend part of my weekend reading Enright's Lady With a Mead Cup and see what's in there, and possibly pick at the Usas/Indra relationship some. If nothing else, at least it'll be more interesting and less like a bad Telemundo soap opera.
I've also noticed the limitation of another question, which asks for two examples of a deity engaging in unethical behavior. This is all well-and-good, but I think I'd intended it to read something more along the lines of "a usually ethical deity engaging in unethical behavior." Obviously, it's just too easy to talk about Loki or Eris there, and answering with either of them would sort of defeat the purpose of the question. The aim was more to examine what causes "good gods to do bad things," and I think I failed in writing that question as well as I'd have liked.
Still, some questions are coming along swimmingly, and if I can manage to stay on track, I may be able to complete two courses this weekend: IE Studies 2 and IE Myth 2. Sometimes I wonder what we were thinking when we expected that these courses could all be done in a single year. Of course, it doesn't help that we've been writing them as we go along (fortunately, they're now complete through Circle 3).
I have books on order for Ethics 1 (I hope they're good sources for the questions I need answered), and I have a notion that Leadership Development 1 is going to be a bear, as well. Trance 2 is proving to be an issue of "I just can't get started on finishing it" more than anything else, but fortunately, I don't actually need to do Trance 2 for anything. . . except the ADF Initiate Path, in which it's the last required course I haven't submitted.
Anyway, here's hoping I can get something done in the next two weekends. I'll put this out here now:
Summerland 2010 is my target for Ordination as a Third Circle ADF Priest. Everything I've been working at has been with that in mind. That's my goal. I expect to make it.
Now I just gotta get past Circle 2. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: bored Current Music: "Smart Woman (In a Real Short Skirt)", -JB
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August 5th, 2009
08:51 pm - Takin' out the CTP Sometimes, when deadlines pass, it's just too easy to ignore them. So, I've reset the deadlines on my outstanding clergy work.
I'm going to beat this program into the ground. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: determined Current Music: "Hello Texas", -JB
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July 8th, 2009
02:10 pm - Upcoming Projects I have been, it is probably pretty clear, very un-project-oriented for the past year or so; since the revision of The Dedicant Path Through the Wheel of the Year (affectionately known as WotY), I've put nearly all major projects on the back-burner, getting very little done.
Some projects have been finished: the ADF Clergy Training Program Circles 2 and 3 are now written and complete (though my own coursework is not), and the Liturgist Guild Study Program is also very close to "presentation-polished" for the rest of the Guild to look at. These are the result of minor things I did that were helped along amazingly by others, though, in my mind.
As things have become more. . . "normal" at work recently (for a while there it was balls-to-the-wall-day-and-night-what-the-hell-is-sleep-and-you-don't-get-to-be-parted-from-your-computer sort of stuff), I feel that old project-orientation coming back into play. So, in that spirit, here are a few things that I need to get caught up on, along with some thoughts on them.
- The Fire On Our Hearth (affectionately known as FooH): This is, as many of you know, the Grove's devotional book. We intended to get a "second edition" out around April 1 of this year, and it just. . . didn't happen. Mostly (okay, entirely), this is my fault: see above. But, as I look at a July that's pretty free of festivals and compulsory travel, I think we may be able to finish this out before Summerland, which would be pretty awesome.
- The Chronarchy.Com Store: This was originally going to supplement my income (it already has, to an extent, even though it's not open for business yet), and the stock includes things like portable altars, rune dice, Discordian Furthark dice, actual elder futhark rune sets, sigil dice, Greek divination tiles, and amulets. The issue has been an inability to create the requisite stock to actually open a store (I have a sneaking suspicion that the demand will be highest when it opens, and then it'll drop off). So, materials are prepared, I just haven't managed to make enough dice, rune sets, and altars to actually be comfortable opening the shop. I'd like to manage that soon, but it really requires a weekend without distraction to make three or four sets of any of these things.
- WotY: Edition 3: Since the "new" Dedicant Path handbook came out (sort of) recently, this is creeping up the list of things I need to do. For the most part, I need to update it so that it reflects the page numbers in the "new" DP book, as right now it's still referencing the old DP book. The current WotY outline can remain, of course, but
Ian Corrigan has brought up an interesting point about it: it could be far less academic and far more of a real "working" document, with ritual texts, meditations, and deeper guidance. This concept excites me, and I honestly very much want to make it something less like a homework schedule and more like a course of spiritual study (though the homework schedule would remain). And this leads me to the next item: - An IP and CTP WotY: Recent discussions about Orders within ADF, the IP work that
Ian Corrigan is doing, and some of my own comments about things I'd like to see within the CTP itself have led me into considering a more "as I go through this" sort of approach to a new WotY for the IP and CTP. There's room for as many IP/CTP training documents within ADF as we'd like to create, I think, and the more I think about this, the more excited I become about the whole prospect. This is a real thing in my mind, something that'll happen one of these days. As of now, though, it's partially unstarted, though the notes I'm taking are already taking some shape. - The Trillium Project:
sleepingwolf and I got this started at Trillium, and we've been working to expand it. . . This is likely to be the first project I finish, as I hope to send my part off to him sometime this week, if work doesn't hit the fan again.
So, those are the current projects I'm oriented toward and bringing online. They're all contingent on me continuing to work on my CTP work, and on work staying settled for a bit, but I think they're all doable. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "Son of a Son of a Sailor", -JB
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June 18th, 2009
03:15 pm - CTP work and an ambush by the Creative Commons license Not long ago (in fact, about two weeks ago), I got re-involved with my IP/CTP work. Something's been tripping me up, though, and I realized that it's a combination of two things:- Time to look up sources when I'm at home, and
- Some weird notion that I've done all the "easy" stuff.
Really, there's nothing in the CTP that's easy, and nothing in the CTP that's hard. It just all is. I just need to take the time to do it, and soon. Clock's a-tickin'.
I also discovered (and was somewhat appalled to discover this) that some of my work has been released under the Creative Commons license. While I'm about as kopyleft as you can get with my work, I am rather opposed to it having anything to do with Creative Commons, particularly without my permission. The restrictions on the CC licenses bug the crap out of me, honestly (of course, with my pleasure at working in a kopyleft framework, I should point out that it only bugs me because the Attribution tag means that people have to say they got it from me, while the ShareAlike tag means that derivative works must also be under the CC license, both of which I feel are unfair restrictions).
Amusingly, all work is automatically copyrighted, so one must go through and de-copyright it to make it kopyleft. I rarely get around to that. I do occasionally use the "©" symbol, more because there is no reversed symbol available in regular HTML, and it really is just simpler to type "all work © MJD" than saying "all work copyleft by MJD". The © you see on my site is left over from before I knew about kopyleft, actually: I just haven't changed it (mostly because I'd have to do it by hand on every page. . . poor planning).
Still, the CC license annoys me because it insinuates things about my work that aren't true. At least with copyright, people will ask if they can use it or ignore the copyright altogether (both of which are cool by me). With CC, they think they're free to use it but have to use it in specific ways, which is not cool by me. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: "Desperation Samba (Halloween in Tijuana)", -JB
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May 26th, 2009
10:04 am - Projects, and a small haircut. A trim, really. Wellspring [review] has me back in the swing of spirituality, I think. I've got two study programs to finish my own work on (there's an odd, sudden urgency to finishing Trance 2. . . I wonder why?), as well as numerous projects that are in a stage of complete-or-almost-complete that just need that last little bit of work to create the report. Putting the Clergy Training Program to bed is liberating, but it also brings me back around to the next project, which is the completion of the Liturgist Guild Study Program, which needs to be written.
Oh, and as some have noticed, my hair is now cut a tad shorter.
( Donation Photos )
I've sent my hair off to Wisconsin for redistribution into a wig. It's a bit odd, sending hair off like that (the magician in me cringes at the thought), but it's good hair: thick, long, and never, ever treated with any sort of chemical or dye. I picked Pantene mostly due to the fact that they accept hair as short as 8 inches, which meant that more of my hair was likely to be used. They give hair specifically to women who have cancer, though that didn't factor much into my decision: I don't really care if it's a woman or a child, or if they have cancer or have just gone bald.
I just hope that someone enjoys the hair, and that it helps get them through what they're facing in life.
And for the record, no, I do not miss long hair (I actually hated it with a pretty intense passion), nor will I be doing this again in the foreseeable future. I loved doing it once, but I don't know if I'll ever be up for another round. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "God's Own Drunk", -JB
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May 25th, 2009
09:49 pm - Wellspring 2009: Moving Forward I have to say, as festival years go, this one seems to be the one with the best feelings and generally the best weather I've ever been involved with so far.
Coming off Wellspring now, I'm starting to see patterns: 1) This year's festivals are smaller, more intimate affairs. 2) The festivals have a different energy, one that has been better across the board. 3) I've seen things getting resolved instead of complicated. 4) Each festival is bringing us closer to resolution on particular items that are organization-wide.
I was happy to hear of a couple of particular patch-ups between people that occurred, actually, and to see some change in activity (though on Sunday night I realized that bad gossip may never go away. . . which is okay, since I created some good gossip of my own. . . ask about how I created electricity in my pants!).
The Annual Meeting was particularly good: it was nice to hear about all the things being done for ADF, as well as hearing solutions presented for issues that have been raised over and over. I look forward to completing several of the items I got to personally address, as well as many items others addressed.
Of course, it's clear to me that I simply haven't done enough with the SP's of ADF: that point is drilled back into me all the time (I actually felt that I wouldn't have anything to say when Raven asked for my report, but fortunately, he didn't ask for a report: instead, he allowed me to elaborate on changes that are in place and that will occur). As Jimmy relates from a bar stool in Captain Tony's Saloon: "There's still so much to be done." It's clear to me that we have a long way to go, no matter how visibly excited I may be about what we have accomplished.
The main rite on Sunday night was powerful and deep, possibly one of the most powerful I've ever been to. Right now, I'm ranking it around #3 in my ADF experience, with the Belenos Rite at Summerset 2005 as #1, and my Consecration as #2.
The best part, though, was the note I found on my windshield just before I left, addressed to me but really for the Cranes as a whole. It seems that we had made one member's experience with ADF brighter simply by being who we are: open, outgoing and hospitable. I'm so proud of my Grove and all we've done, and reading the note made my heart burst with pride.
I read the note to the Cranes at lunch when I caught up with them in Erie, PA. I think they were as touched as I was.
All that said, this year is a year to go to festivals: if you can manage it, please, please do yourself a favour and get to one. And if it's Summerland, so much the better :) Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: "Tryin' to Reason with Hurricane Season", - JB
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May 9th, 2009
07:56 am - Passing Div2, and a review of my work for a change
Wow. I got an e-mail about a week and a half ago from Ian Corrigan saying that my Divination 2 papers were "exemplary" . . . I admit, I had no such thoughts myself. I thought they would be somewhat average.
Among the comments he returned to me were these:
- I should write a booklet on runes based on my answers to Req 5
- A short article such as "Are the Runes a Magical Alphabet?" should be submitted to OL
- The creation of a bind-rune I did for one reading was, and I quote, "good cunning-work." This is an awesome phrase to me
- He and I go in completely opposite directions when it comes to public ritual, though: while you'll rarely hear me offer the names of runes, often giving only an interpretation, Ian only gives the name and translation and lets folks figure out the meanings on their own.
I thought his final comment was best, though, as when speaking about a rune reading that we did in public that had a major affect on ADF (that one truly cold Yule when the Grove was first founded; some of you may recall it), he said:
- Almost like there was something wyrd going on, innit?
Just. . . wow ;)
Over the last year or two, I've become a lot more in-depth with my reviewing, returning positive comments along with negative ones (should they be necessary) and trying to help the student flesh things out if they'd like to. It's nice to get a response like this one, because it helps to verify that the system I've been developing is something worth doing.
I don't really feel that I can just say, "Oh, you passed." I find it important to highlight certain parts of the piece that I really liked, and discuss what I liked about them. By the same token, we can't just say, "Oh, you didn't pass. Re-write it." If something doesn't pass, I always explain why, and offer suggestions for passage if I can.
This sort of reviewing takes a lot more time, though, and sometimes it's downright hard: I've occasionally come across something so bad that I didn't know what to do with it and had to struggle to find some positives to return. Rare as that is (it's probably happened twice in the past several years), I've believed it important enough to ensure that I've done all I can to make it happen.
Attempting to do this little thing is part of what I do to make ADF a bit brighter, and receiving a review back that's along those same lines makes me feel great about what I'm doing with reviews. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: creative Current Music: "The Wino and I Know", -JB
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March 23rd, 2009
05:03 pm - Busy life, lots to do. What's sleep? Holy crap, I've been busy. Busy, busy, busy. It's not lettin' up, and is (in fact) getting worse.
Yesterday was a great ritual, though I've got that usual sneaking suspicion that I oughtn't try new things at ritual, because sometimes when I do so, I can muck up a perfectly good rite without any help.
On the bright side, though, I got my first light sunburn of the year and I'm happier for it.
We both know we live in different orbits Different islands different worlds Though we really are the same I'm just glad, glad we started talking Finally realize no one is to blame
I'm working very hard to keep up on my email recently, and doing a fair job of it. Of course, I'm only going on about three or four days of "keeping up," so it's not really worth much.
I've been watching a lot of movies and TV shows in what little down-time I have. Maggie and I are currently in the middle of re-watching Firefly (Grr-Arg). I'm amazed that I have any free time at all, and I often feel like I'm wasting it, getting virtually nothing done when I should be getting craploads done in all cases. There's so much to do, and I just can't really prioritize as well as I used to be able to. I'm pretty sure that I'm neglecting nearly everything I need to do in favour of work.
I want to do what's right, I want to do what's fair
I sent my dad a copy of the HBO John Adams mini-series recently, and I hope he enjoys it. More to the point, I hope he got the DVD player he got last year hooked up to his TV.
Here's hoping that the ADF Clergy Training Program Third Circle will be approved soon. I need to try and get it sent out for wording and discussion on the Clergy Council, but dunno if I'll manage it tonight. . . too much to do, as usual. But, if we get it approved, it'll be the first time since the mid- to late-90's that ADF has had a program of study that could take someone from new member all the way through ordination as an ADF Priest.
This excites me immensely. Immensely.
Yeah with a tin cup for a chalice, fill it up with good red wine And I'm a chewin' on a honeysuckle vine Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "Tin Cup Chalice", -JB
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February 4th, 2009
07:27 am - 1,500: Reviewing my vocational statement ( Here is a basic timeline of my tenure in ADF. It's relevant, I promise. )
Not so long ago, I started thinking back on the work I've done as ADF Clergy, and began re-exploring the vocation I have for it.
I started down this path in college: old journals turn up statements like, "If I were Catholic, I'd be in seminary right now." I know now, looking back on it, that I was feeling a call to lead services and help others for a very long time, even before I'd graduated high school.
I remember when the Universal Life Church put their ordinations online and opened up access to the entire world. I also remember making the conscious decision not to obtain ordination in that way. I didn't make that choice because I felt it was an invalid method of becoming clergy, or because I thought it was beneath me; rather, I felt it was not the right path for me to take.
What was important to me was not ordination. It was not the powers conferred by the state or by other priests. It turned out that I didn't see ordination or priesthood in that way.
What I wanted was recognition of status achieved by the body of my chosen spiritual community.
I remember feeling shocked and somewhat embarrassed that the ADF Unity Rite I was consecrated in was so much about me. Every invocation and evocation mentioned me, with the Kindreds being addressed and asked to support me and give me strength during their invitation. I didn't know what that meant at the time, but I do now. It wasn't about the various Priests recognizing me, but about the fact that I'd done things within ADF to the point that the recognition was just right. It just came naturally to them. I don't believe any instruction for those invocations was ever given to those who participated in the rite: they just did it.
That thought, by the way, humbles me even more deeply, and makes me even more embarrassed in retrospect.
It has been, now, nearly three years since I took my oath that day, and dedicated my head, my heart, and my hands to this journey that we call ADF.
The other day, I went back to my Clergy Vocational Statement, and re-read it for the first time in over two years. I wanted to see what was still relevant, and get at why I chose to go this route in the first place. I know that I still struggle with being clergy. I know that Priesthood in ADF is still something that I sometimes question. I know that I still feel like a rookie apprentice among learned old wizards. But much about what I thought was calling me has changed.
( I made some astute statements. )
( I also made some rather. . . un-astute statements. )
A lot of what I thought would be the focus of my clergy work simply isn't the focus. The things I love to do, including the training program development, the ritual, and the simple joy of being a part of this experiment that is "Our Own Druidry," are still vibrant. But my expectations have changed so much. My own struggles with relating the GSP work to Clergy training were complicated enough: I felt untrained and underdeveloped when I started, but I have realized that I will always feel like that (and, should I stop feeling like that, I'll know I have a problem!).
The thing is, I'm a very different person than I was before my Consecration. It changed me, and time has changed me further. Despite that, some people will not see me as changed, but as the kid I was when they knew me before that ritual. Some will not see me as the kid I was before, but only who I am now.
And some, those closest to me, I think, will know the change deeply, and will understand it better than I do myself. And with the changes I have undergone, they will find that it is not me that changed, but it is my true self that emerged and began to develop itself. I know this because I am more at home with myself than I was three years ago, struggling through a hard breakup and really experiencing what it was like to be scared and alone for the first time; more at home with myself than I was ten years ago, struggling to find meaning in college coursework without a clear goal in sight; and more at home than I was fifteen years ago, stumbling onto Paganism in Caesar's Commentarii de Bello Gallico and praying for the first time to divinities I found in my Latin class.
And this, my friends, is what excites me about the prospect of Ordination within ADF: if Consecration can change me in such beautiful ways, what changes are in store for me when I am a fully Ordained Priest?
This is my 1,500th LiveJournal entry, and I want to thank those who have read this journal since 2002. My longest readers are the most special to me, and I often think about what you must have seen as you've followed this blog. Don't worry, there is much more to come. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: "Landfall", -JB
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November 21st, 2008
10:41 am - Some marketing amusement, and an update on things I picked this little bit of razzle-dazzle on the Crummy Church Signs blog, always a good read. What if Starbucks marketed like a church? I have finished Trance 1, and am working my way through my last unanswered question of Divination 2. . . Or, I was until I realized that I had somehow entirely missed a 600-word essay summarizing the results of divinations I did. Oy. Now, instead of a single, paltry 1,000 word essay, I have to write two essays that total at least 1,600 more words.
Yesterday was not a good day. Today, so far, is shaping up much nicer. Tomorrow, of course, is The Game, which means that football season at Ohio State begins and ends tomorrow, as it does every year. And tonight, I think, will be a night at Wildlights at the Columbus Zoo.
The Grove has also (thanks to seamus_mcnasty's inspiration) decided to run our own World AIDS Day event, since apparently there are no WAD events in Columbus that I have been able to find and get attached to. Now I get to figure out how to make it work :)
I've been fortunate that, since Samhain, I'm not as busy as I was all summer and all autumn. At the moment, I'm spending a lot more time relaxing, getting in some Diablo 2 and finally completing two Clergy Training Program courses. I'm almost a month ahead of schedule on my CTP work at this point, but staying on that course requires that we pass the remaining four courses in CTP Circle 2 before Jan. 1, 2009. We'll see how that goes.
Anyway, I have more software to release today. . . Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: chipper Current Music: "Fins", -JB
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November 13th, 2008
01:06 pm - Trance induction difficulties H. P. Lovecraft's The Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath begins with a trance induction that I cannot help but think about as I struggle with this last question in Trance 1:
"In light slumber he descended the seventy steps to the cavern of flame and talked of this design to the bearded priests Nasht and Kaman-Thah," Lovecraft tells us. Hearing the dangers and warnings of the priest, he decides to go on, "asking a formal blessing of the priests and thinking shrewdly on his course, he boldly descended the seven hundred steps to the Gate of Deeper Slumber and set out through the Enchanted Wood." Indeed, this is classic trance induction, often described as the "staircase method" of induction.
The more I think on this requirement, the more I find myself drawn back to the Dream Quest. I remember Randolph Carter's adventure in the dreamlands of our world and others, his encounters with the Cats of Ulthar and the war with the Zoogs, his betrayal by the dark merchants as they stole him away to the moon, and his wanderings through the Gugs' kingdom with Pickman's ghoul friends.
I find myself thoroughly focused on this induction, on the paths it follows and leads. I am having difficulty refocusing on an induction that does not follow the masterful Quest for the Sunset City of Lovecraft's dreamlands.
Perhaps my early work in the Mythos was deeper than I had originally thought.
I'm sure this is temporary: I simply need an intent for this induction, one that makes sense and that will allow me to think freely outside the bounds of the inductions I have known and experienced before. But until that intent makes itself apparent, I might just be stuck wandering the dreamlands, seeking the Sunset City as Randolph Carter did.
Fortunately, this is one Lovecraft tale with a truly happy ending. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: blank Current Music: "False Echoes [Havana 1921]", -JB
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November 12th, 2008
12:49 pm - World records aren't written down for ADF study program material: this is for the best Last night, I finished the ADF Structure, Customs, and Policy course, four days before my self-imposed due-date. I decided to clock the total amount of time I spent writing it, since I'd actually heard people say that it can be done in two hours. I admit to not being overly happy at the dismissive nature of that, especially since people hadn't actually done it at that point.
It ended up taking me 3 hours and 15 minutes, all told. I hit two hours when I finished question 7. I'm pretty convinced that two hours was a bit of an exaggeration: even with the advantages I had (I wrote the course and knew the subject matter really well). (Besides, it may expand if this gets returned to me for further work, as often happens with submissions.)
I'm happy that I haven't been recording the amount of time I've spent on some other courses: the amount of time I spent on Magic 2 and Divination 2 alone is frightening.
I do need to thank Red Earth in Atlanta, GA; Silver Birch in Australia; and Ocean's Tide in Rhode Island, as well as Brandon in Japan and Jeremy in Chicago for their help on Requirement 9.
I am remaining right on schedule, however. The important thing, I suppose, is to stay on my schedule: it'll be a while before it gets graded and returned, I have a feeling.
Next up? Trance 1, due at the end of the month. I'm really struggling with the last requirement.
Well, it seems it's been since March that I've done a LiveJournal meme, so I figure it's about time for another:
36 miles per gallon Created by The Car Connection Very few memes catch my eye (and I rarely have time to waste on most of them), but I can appreciate this one. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Music: "Truckstop Salvation", -JB
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October 30th, 2008
03:35 pm - Setting the plan in motion Part of being open and honest about my process through the Clergy Training Program has led me to an update of Chronarchy.Com. The front page now includes some of my smaller updates to the DP, as well as a chart of Study Program work (and due dates). More amusingly, it also includes a recently declassified government "Report on Discordian Cleansing Rituals" I've stumbled across that some might find interesting.
Finding ways to meet your goals sometimes takes some creative self-bitchslapping, I find. For me today, it's updating the page I see 10 to 20 times per day with my schedule, just to keep myself on track! Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: calm Current Music: "Cheeseburger in Paradise", -JB
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