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October 21st, 2009
09:29 am - Sometimes, prayers are more than they first seem. . .
The year has come around to that odd time, where sunrise occurs during my morning commute. This makes my devotional life harder, as my sunrise prayers are often done "on the go" in one way or another. This morning, I found myself praying in the car as I drove.
I feel privileged that the prayer I speak each morning can still send chills through my entire body. This morning, as I drove down Indianola, I felt goosebumps develop from head to toe, every hair on my body standing up in rapt attention to the words I spoke.
Many would call the prayer "rote" simply because it is memorized. There is a notion, particularly within Noe-Paganism, that memorization brings a "fake" quality to the words spoken, a "going through the motions" aspect to our religion that many reject. I tend to call this prayer not "rote," but "well-loved."
The prayer is spoken differently every morning: some days, the prayer gently passes my lips, hardly louder than my breath; other days, I speak it with loud passion in a voice that reaches deeply into my soul; still others, the words roll out strongly as I describe to an unseen audience the maiden on the rim of the world, and then hush as I describe that glimpse of her and what it does to me. Each day brings a new prayer with the same words, new feelings to the oft-quoted phrases.
As each phrase passes my lips, feelings well up, images appear and dissipate, and a noetic quality settles in. The prayer brings Usas into being, casting a reality upon her, which in turn draws her reality into the world and across the horizon. There is knowledge that without her there would be no prayer, and without the prayer, I would never see her and love her in the way that I do. Because of this, it is important for me to pray each morning. For those who have not read the words before, they are:
A maiden dancing, dancing
on the rim of the world.
Resplendent, Radiant.
I blush to see you rise from your bath
the colours of the morning drip from your bosom
as you open the ways for the sun.
Greetings, Usas, who opens the gates of heaven.
It was not written with meter in mind, or thoughts that I might still be doing this three years later (the prayer was first written Sept. 25, 2006), but it was written when I was very attentive to the dawn. That rapt attention is what made this prayer something deeper than a few lines, and what prevents it from ever becoming rote. I never dreamed that I would pray this prayer on the slopes Mt. Olympus, or in the Arizona desert, or in the cold-and-damp Brushwood spring. I never dreamed that it would keep the fires burning on my altar so reliably, or bring me in such close contact with the synthesis of prayer and flame. I never dreamed that it would bring me a reputation for piety, or force me to rearrange my social life (my sunset prayer to Ratri, equally as deep and wonderful, prevents me from viewing movies during certain times of the year since they often straddle sunset).
This prayer speaks to and for my soul every morning, even after all this time.
Current Location: Souteast of Disorder
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: "Mile High In Denver", -JB
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December 17th, 2007
06:05 pm - "Three Books? Nobody said anything about three books!"
Well, chalk it up to my usual . . . usual-ness. Seems that this coming holiday weekend, I'm going to be spending as much as possible in front of a computer, finishing up the rough drafts of at least three books (two of which, I believe, will go up for sale at some point; the third is for Grove members).
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/syndicated.gif) 3cg_blog is doing quite well at this point. I'm really, really enjoying writing this blog, "Leaves of the Willow". I think this is a function of how much I really love to talk about my Grove (yeah, you heard me: I love my Grove). *grins*
It's even got a solid, Druidical "9" as the number of LJ subscribers (of course, don't let that stop you from adding it to your own friend's list)!
Last night, Saturn was unbound in Tucson, and I daresay I felt it all the way over here in Columbus. I love Saturnalia, and I think I need to find a way to continue to do Saturnalia here in Ohio, now that our ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) romandruid is gone.
As it stands, I'm off to get home and eat dinner. I'll think about these books more on the other side of this Thursday's liturgy meeting. Until then, I'm collecting treasures for Tuesday night's escapades. . . Chocolates, BloodRayne 2, Billy the Kid vs. Dracula, and a little somethin'-somethin' for my hostess. . .
Mmmm. . . Hostess. . .
Okay, it's obvious I need dinner now. . . And to call my girlfriend. . .
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Music: "Why You Wanna Hurt My Heart?", -JB
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November 30th, 2007
11:43 am - Fighting the War on Christmas, Christian soldiers strap on Amulets!
 This morning, I noticed that World Net Daily is selling magical amulets to Christians. For those unfamiliar with the site, it's an evangelical Christian "news site" (really, "sensationalist news site" would better describe it, or possibly "tabloid") that claims "uncompromising journalism" and to be "a guardian of liberty," while usually just spewing the usual claptrap that comes from the general right edge of sanity.
Those of you who know my reading habits (and my magical interests) know that I'm really into amulets, and devouring any ancient magical literature I can find. Amulets, ancient Christian magic, and connections to the modern world really interest me deeply, so when I read this article, I recognized what WND was doing immediately.
Here's a quote from the article:
There's one more component of your Christmas-defense kit: It's the "Operation: Just Say 'Merry Christmas' Bracelet." They make great stocking stuffers, but why wait! Make your feelings about Christmas known to one and all. Wear them to pick up the kids, when you buy groceries and when you go to work. They're guaranteed to ward off the evil spirits of the ACLU grinches.
If you'd like to purchase one, you can pick up the little bracelets on their site (I've pictured one at the top right for your convenience). Hell, I'd love to find one in my stocking!
The characterizations of the ACLU "grinches" as "evil spirits" caught my eye. I'm reminded of when Christianity was a young religion, and the world was full of demons just waiting in pagan temples to posses some young, nubile and naive Christian. There's an old tale of a pair of Christian night watchmen who would walk past a temple each night, and each morning they required an exorcism, "just in case" the demons had come out of the temple and possessed them.
This isn't any different, really: by wearing this amulet, you can ward off evil spirits. WND has de-humanized the ACLU into something that is dangerous, but they have the answer! They have a nifty little device that you can buy to protect you from these dangerous things, for the power of Christ is best harnessed by a rubber wristband.
Honestly, I'm impressed with the WND's rhetoric here. Just look what they've done to those who carry an ACLU card, and to top that, they've offered a protection scheme to overpower their creation.
On the one hand, I see this as a genuine religious concern for a genuine religious group that has a genuine interest in protecting its congregants from dangerous spirits.
On the other hand, it really sounds like what the Ghostbusters were accused of: "These men are complete snowball artists. They use nerve and sense gases to induce hallucinations. The people think they're seeing ghosts and call these bozos, who conveniently show up to get rid of the problem with a fake electronic light show."
Well, okay: my other hand is sounding reasonable. . .
On a side note, I found out about this little warding kit that they're selling through their article about Alaska Airlines' "discrimination" against heterosexuals. I find it interesting that, in a world where the Religious Right has always sought to keep discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation legal, they're bitching and moaning when they perceive it going the other way (and, of course, it's not discrimination; they can get the same discount just by typing in the code: there're no ticket-counter screenings to determine "fondness for cock," at least, not that I'm aware of. . . But the TSA has been getting a bit more "personal" in searches for years).
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) amused
Current Music: "The Wino and I Know", -JB
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August 29th, 2007
02:30 pm - Hi-YAH!
 This weekend, I'm going to be renting and watching The Karate Kid, and possibly The Karate Kid: Part II and The Karate Kid: Part III, if I can find them. If I'm really lucky, I might also find The Next Karate Kid.
I don't know about finding them all (I think I'll go when I get paid and try and find a three- or four-disk set at Best Buy, as I think that's my best bet), but I'm gonna try.
(Apparently, Hillary Swank was "The Next Karate Kid", so that's got to be worth something. . . Doesn't it? I don't think I've seen a single movie she's been in since Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yeah, the movie, not the TV show.)
The best part about seaching for this movie? The Amazon popularity information, particularly number 2.
Popular in these categories:
#1 in Video > Drama > By Theme > Underdogs
#1 in Video > Drama > Love & Romance > Young Love
#1 in Video > Kids & Family > By Theme > Sports
Who knew?
Folk are welcome to join me for viewing. Should be fun. Details forthcoming on that. . . Let me know if you're interested.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Pacing the Cage", -JB
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July 11th, 2007
09:41 am - How The Beastie Boys Saved My Relationship
Last Tuesday, I called Maggie in a frantic panic. The conversation went just about exactly like this:
Maggie: "Hello?"
MJD: "I have a life-or-death question. It's very important."
Maggie: "Um, okay."
MJD: "Do you like the Beastie Boys?"
Maggie: "Uh, yes. Yes I do."
MJD: "Good."
Maggie: "Is that all?"
MJD: "Yes, yes. that's all."
Maggie: "Okay. . ."
MJD: "I suppose I should explain, huh?"
Maggie: "Well, you don't have to. But it would be nice."
MJD: "Okay, well, here's the thing. I had a roommate in college, Kevin. Kevin was a great guy, and he really, really liked the Beastie Boys. One day, he turned to me and said, "Mike, this is important. Never trust a girl who doesn't like the Beastie Boys. They're not the sort of girl you should hang out with. And never, ever date one." And, as I was driving through town, a Beastie Boys song came on, and I remembered his advice. And I suddenly had to call you."
Maggie: "I like you."
MJD: "I know." And that was the end of the conversation.
Then I went and saw Transformers with tesinth, and life was good.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: "Off to See the Lizard", -JB
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June 28th, 2007
08:35 am - Movies tonight
Tonight, I'm going to see Next, a movie based on PKD's The Golden Man.
I'll be at the 7:30 PM showing tonight at the dollar theatre at Carriage Place (on Bethel, near Sawmill Rd.)
I missed the last PKD movie in the theatres (A Scanner Darkly), and I'm not going to miss this one.
So, open invitation: come see a movie with me!
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: "Buttermilk Grove", -JB
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May 22nd, 2007
10:11 am - Wondering Why We Ever Go Home: Greece, 2007
Journal Entry 7
04/10/07
1:20 PM
Thermopylae
 You inspire me.
I remember you.
I know your story.
Sleep in blessed rest.
Your duty is done.
I stood on the burial mound where two hundred and ninety-eight Spartans (and many other Greeks, forgotten in time and multi-million dollar films) lie buried, surveying the landscape.
A lot has changed in 2,500 years: the sea is now over a mile from the Hot Gates, and a road runs a bare 30 meters from the edge of the wall that once ended in the Aegean.
But the topography is unmistakable.
The mountains to the left are obviously impassable, and it is obvious why the God-King Xerxes himself felt so powerless against them that he did not force his army to march over them before the traitor revealed the trail.
Looking out across the same view the Greeks must have seen, it is easy to understand why this pass seemed like an ideal place to meet the Persians (and years later the Romans and the Germans). To men as tough as the Spartans, trained from age 7 (or before), this was obviously the best place to kill the troops of the Eastern God-Emperor: there was nowhere for the enemy to hide.
View from the burial mound
to the north and west along the coast
The modern site does not have many maps: initially, we could find none. From the top of the Greek burial-mound, though, there was a trail. Hoping to find the old wall, I started down it with zylch.
While we could no wall (only a flower truly caught my eye), we did get a startling view of the mountains as they must have looked so many years ago: the road and the roofs of houses were gone from our sight, and even the sound of traffic was dampened.
We later discovered that we had traveled for a short time on the traitorous goat path, left ingloriously undefended by the Phoicans.
When we returned to the burial mound, I was disappointed to have not found the wall. Still, I look some time to offer and pray to the dead buried beneath me.
And on my descent, there it was.
In what appeared to be a construction site, 100 meters from the base of the mound, I saw the wall. As I wondered how I could possibly have walked by it, I pointed it out with excitement to zylch, and convinced her to come with me.
I came up to it, stood on it, and looked around it. The wall is obviously reconstructed, but its position is obviously correct, as are its formation and size.
Here stood the men who I have held in awe and reverence for twelve years. Here they brushed out their long hair, singing as they were surrounded by certain death. Here, they fought over the body of a king descended from Herakles, fated to die that Sparta may live. Here, at this wall, Western warfare was defined.
Here, the Spartans were obedient to their laws.
And now, we had to go. Next stop: the oracle that doomed either a city or one of her kings. Delphi.
The Phocian Wall
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: "Wonder Why We Ever Go Home", -JB
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May 17th, 2007
09:42 am - Lessons from the Universe, part 1
Universe: So, Michael. What did you do today?
Me: I got blackholed by MSN and can no longer send mail to any of their servers (including HotMail, MSN.com and anything else on Passport)!
Universe: How did that happen?
Me: I politely replied to an email to the ADF Office from an MSN user, and I got a bounce-back. It said, "Reasons for rejection may be related to content such as obscene language, graphics, or spam-like characteristics (or) other reputation problems." Maybe it was the fact that the person was using obscene language and I was dumb enough to leave their original message intact?
Universe: Well, that'll teach you to be polite! Indeed it will, Universe. Indeed it will.
Sometimes, there are hazards with working with the ADF Office. I mean, now I can't send mail from my email address to folks who have any MSN address, which could impact my dayjob, even though I didn't do it on university time. I can't wait to get our Networking folks involved in this issue.
On the whole, though, things are interesting in my life. Tonight is the Grove Liturgy Meeting (we're going over stuff for ComFest), and then the season finale of Smallville (_crow365__, you're welcome to stay for that, presuming I can get decent reception), and then it's off to the dollar theatre up at the Continent (not Carriage Place) for the 10 PM showing of Pathfinder! All are welcome to join me for that little shindig of Injuns v. Vikings!
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "The Great Filling Station Holdup", -JB
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May 14th, 2007
03:18 pm - Babe Scientists, Anyone?
While searching through various movies I'd like to see, I stumbled across one of my favourite actresses, Catherine McCormack (you've all seen her, you probably just don't know it). While checking out some of her films and thinking, "Hey, maybe I should rent this?" or "Dude, that looks cool!" I found myself staring at a film keyword that I just had to click on:
Babe Scientist.
And, sure enough, the keyword seems to fit many shows and movies. Now I know where else to look for films to rent!
Anyway, I brought this category of film up to some friends on Friday night, and they demanded to have poof that there was, indeed, a keyword for "babe scientist" on IMDb.
So, here you go: http://www.imdb.com/keyword/babe-scientist/
Enjoy. :)
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Margaritaville", -JB
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May 9th, 2007
10:49 am - Vikings vs. Indians!
Dude! Pathfinder (the movie about Vikings fighting Indians) has made it to the dollar theatre! I never saw it make it to the first run!
The synopsis is: "A Viking boy is left behind after his clan battles a Native American tribe. Raised within the tribe, he ultimately becomes their savior in a fight against the Norsemen."
Wow. I'm so there!
Oh, and on an unrelated note: zylch, remember those stockings I owe you? I think I've found a perfect match.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Landfall", -JB
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March 27th, 2007
06:40 pm - Take it Back
"We ain't stealin', we're just takin' back; very simple plan of attack: It's our job and a labour of love; take it home to the up-above. . ."
Damnit, Norman: why you gotta be such a role model?
There are a few books you need to read if you want to really "get" me. No one who hasn't read them has ever really understood why I make a lot of the choices I do.
- Don't Stop the Carnvial by Herman Wouk - I am Norman Paperman on my best days
- Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie - "Peter Pan would understand his schemes, dreams and ploys"
- The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry - It's the sword in the stone, don't you see?
- Where Is Joe Merchant? by Jimmy Buffett - Frank Bama and I are kindred spirits, with the same problems and the same god-damned resolution issues.
- A Salty Piece of Land by Jimmy Buffett - That wasn't Tully Mars checking in. It was me. I hope I check out half as fortunately as he did.
That's the required reading for the course that is "WTF-MJD 101"
There's also some optional reading, as well as a set of required films and songs you need to hear, but you gotta get through the above first. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find a copy of Peter Pan in Scarlet before PSA tonight. I'm suddenly in need of a certain fix.
"We ask ourselves when we get in a fix, "What would Popeye do in a tight spot like this?" He'd race for his true love and easily win it, in an old spinach can with a mast stuck in it!"
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Take It Back", -JB
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March 12th, 2007
08:15 am - Thermopylae, the Delphic Oracle, and Other Tidbits
Because of the popularity of the movie 300 and the fact that I've now seen it twice and been amused by how Frank Miller represented the history (and, admittedly, appreciated the revalorizing of the myth of Thermopylae), I figured that I would provide the three Delphic oracles that particularly focus on the situation at the Hot Gates. (I just happen to have the collected Oracles on my desk):
"People of Sparta, either your city is destroyed by the Persians or it is not, and Lakedaimon will mourn a dead king of the Haraklid line. For the might of bulls and lions will not stay the enemy in battle; he has Zeus' might. And I say that he will not stop until he has destroyed one of these two." -Q152, Oracle of Delphi to the Spartans, regarding the Persian invasion (481/480 BC) [Herodotus, 7.220.3-4]
"Do not stay; fly to the ends of the earth, leaving your houses and city. For the whole body is unsound; nothing is left. Fire and war destroy it. Many fortresses will be destroyed, not yours alone. Many temples will burn, and blood drips upon their roofs, presaging inevitable evil. Leave the adyton and be ready for woes." -Q146, Oracle of Delphi to the Athenians, regarding the Persian invasion of the Hellas (481/480 BC)
"Pallas cannot appease Zeus with her many prayers. But I shall tell you this immovable decree: all Attica will be taken, but Zeus grants Athena a wooden wall that shall alone be untaken and will help you and your children. Do not await the onset of cavalry and infantry from the continent at your ease, but turn about and leave. You will face them sometime again. O divine Salamis, you will lose many children of men either at sowing time or at harvest." -Q147, Oracle of Delphi to the Athenians, regarding Oracle Q146 (481/480 BC)¹ Other items of possible interest, regarding the battle itself:
( Quotes and anecdotes; no spoilers but a bit of history )
¹ - Source: Fonternrose, Joseph. The Delphic Oracle: Its responses and Operations With a Catalogue of Responses. University of California Press. 1981
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Nautical Wheelers", -JB
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February 12th, 2007
01:09 pm - Mel, your moralization is frightening. . .
tesinth and I went to see Apocalypto at the dollar theatre yesterday. While the moral of the movie appears to be "Thank God the White Catholics showed up in time to save the noble savages," we found ourselves wondering:
Poll #925849 Poll 20: Let the shushing begin!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 49At what point may you speak during a movie in the theatre? At what point is the movie officially "over"?
( See, this is why I ask )
Also, this movie is apparently not about Mayans at all, but Aztecs. I ended up even more confused when I realized that.
And btw, I expect that the "moral of the story" listed above isn't a spoiler. It was, merely, the final conclusion I drew from this movie, much like "Christ wasn't a savior, he was a magician" was the conclusion I drew from Passion. If you see the movie and determine that I did, indeed, somehow spoil the ending with that comment, I grant you permission to post most venomously on my LJ in retaliation.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/confused.gif) curious
Current Music: "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw", -JB
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February 5th, 2007
11:24 am - Failing at romance is a pattern I know well. . .
MJD: So, for Valentine's Day, I'm apparently going the the ballet.
Tina: Does she know you hate ballet?
M: I don't hate ballet. I hated Dracula. I don't mind the classical stuff, and can even get excited about it. I don't necessarly get it, but there's good music and nifty things going on. I just can't wrap my head around the more modern styles at all. They make me feel stupid because I don't get them "conceptually," whatever that means.
T: Why don't you do something you'll both like?
M: Because that's not what Valentine's Day is about. It's about guys doing things they don't want to do just because women think it's romantic. I have a feeling that the most romantic things in life are things that no man enjoys.
T: *suddenly can't stop laughing* Yes, it's true: the ballet is in my future.
I admit, I don't mind. I won't lie and pretend to be excited about it (though I might actually get excited about an excuse to put on a suit and have a pretty lady on my arm), but I'll sit through it and find a way to make it work for me.
Honestly, if it hadn't been presented to me before I caught wind of the show, I'd have probably offered to take her, anyway: I've been scanning the ballet schedule off and on for a couple of months trying to find something I might be able to work with. This is probably because my idea of romance is "stuff I don't like to do." Thus, when I find something I don't want to do, my first thought is often, "Hey, that'd be a great date!"
This could be why buying flowers doesn't seem "romantic" to me. . . I like to buy flowers for people. It's fun, and often unexpected. But it's not romantic in my head. But going to the ballet is. I understand, though, that there are certain actions that women find "romantic", and I try and do those actions from time to time.
Finding romance in stuff I like to do is hard. ( Junk about me and romance, not so pertinent to what's above )
Now, flirting. . . that's a whole other story for some other time. . .
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "No Woman No Cry", -JB
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January 3rd, 2007
10:21 am - Ah, LJ: a miscellany
Today, I am happy that I wrote that stationary about how we don't allow people to "Test Out" of the DP based on previous experience and "advanced age". Especially when that experience appears to come in the form of spirits telling you to drop loaves of bread down wells and the advanced age in question is 47.
I had the day from hell at work yesterday, and expect today will be no different.
I have a fear in the pit of my stomach about classes starting tomorrow. . . and I have to go pay my tuition.
I am feeling like I have somehow been disastrously out of touch with ADF's membership for the past three or four years.
I want to watch a bad movie in a good theater with some friends. Hell, I'll settle for a good movie, if anyone knows one. Anyone up for Pick of Destiny late on Thursday night? There's a 10 PM showing.
Please, Notre Dame, suck as badly as you know you do! LSU better not embarrass their conference like Michigan did.
I will send the article on miscarriages I wrote to those who wanted it.
I have come to the conclusion that I am exhausted.
And I'm never going to manage to read everyone's entries from the past couple of days if I don't get to it very, very soon. Promise I will.
I have this sinking feeling that there are about 3 full pages of people posting drunken "Happy New Year" sentiments or rants that I'm going to have to dig through to get back to Dec. 29, when I last read my friend's list.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: "Kick It In Second Wind", -JB
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December 11th, 2006
03:00 pm - Fencing, and got some things done for a change. . .
advance, lunge with parry five. riposte. recover retreat retreat parry three. riposte. counter-riposte. point-in-line disengage. parry four. advance advance advance false prepare retreat. attack in prep. touch. I have been paying attention to the memories of my body recently, the way the muscle memory retains itself even after a full five years almost of not donning a fencing mask. The above is what my body wants to do. Right now. It is a total body memory, but it is not something remembered, but something felt. My body feels that right now, that is the correct action to take.
My muscles twitch and pull at my mind. I shouldn't be sitting at my desk: I should be standing with my right side forward, my hand holding the sabre, protected by the guard on my three and twitching the tip of the blade in a circle should four or five be threatened.
I'm looking for the attack parry riposte counter-parry counter-riposte action. My body wants that more than anything right now.
Over the weekend I managed to complete a few things, particularly these:
- I have blanks with which to make a set of runes specifically for the Grove.
- I have made the blanks romandruid requested for her divination set (bring 'em by on Saturday?)
- My kitchen floor is less cluttered, as is my kitchen counter.
- I went to the zoo on Saturday night.
- I watched movies with creaturetamer and tesinth for most of Sunday on the 100 inch projection screen currently in my basement.
- I cleaned the mouse cages and took care of Tina's menagerie.
I'm interested in seeing the movie Redhead, which is currently playing at Studio 35 all week. It's playing at 11 PM, though, which is feckin' late for me.
It's odd that I managed to finish anything this weekend; I so rarely do.
I'm expecting some mail in the near future, which will then allow me to set a date for me to start working on something new. Part of me is afraid of new things: I always have been, on many levels. But a deeper part of me has always managed to push through that fear, to not be cowed by those who want to shove me back down to where I was.
At work, the guy four levels above me is leaving, which means potential reorganization where I work. I don't know what that means, except that I'm hoping my distance is far enough that should restructuring take place, I'm not structured right out of a job.
I'm pretty sure I need another vacation. Fortunately, one comes up very soon: barely two weeks.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/wink.gif) quixotic
Current Music: "Sail On Sailor", -JB
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November 23rd, 2006
07:03 pm - Everyone else having family time. . . rocks!
So here I am, all alone on a major holiday people are supposed to spend with family. I was invited to Toledo to see my parents at my cousin's, but honestly, I can neither afford to buy gas to get there nor to do enough maintenance on my car to drive three hours there and back. "Besides," I reasoned with myself this morning, "people keep asking you to be there for them. Be there for yourself for once. No one ever asks you to do that except mazisexton."
This has been one of the best days ever.
I'm still in my jammies and actually wore my glasses all day for the first time in perhaps two or three years.
This morning I started out by cleaning. Then I moved onto writing part of my book. Then I scanned in the book ceolnamara bought me in Paris last year ("Le Pilier Des Nautes Retrouvé: Histoire d'Une Métamorphose") so that I could possibly send it to a couple of people. My laundry room is getting a cleaning for the first time since I moved in, and my work bench is being completely reorganized and tools are migrating back to it. I put together a CD last night of songs that get me dancing. . . Here's the song list:
- Country Girl - Primal Scream
- White Collar Boy - Belle & Sebastian
- Bohemian Like Me - Dandy Warhols
- We Used to be Friends - Dandy Warhols
- California Uber Alles - Dead Kennedys
- Little Ghost - The White Stripes
- Denial Twist - The White Stripes
- Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms
- Clint Eastwood - The Gorillaz
- New Age Girl - Dead Eye Dick
- Timebomb - Rancid
- Can't Be Myself - Watershed
- Birdhouse In Your Soul - They Might Be Giants
- Istanbul - They Might Be Giants
- The Night Chicago Died - Paper Lace
- Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger
- Banditos - The Refreshments
- Code Monkey - Anyone know?
- Take the Skinheads Bowling - Camper Von Beethoven
- Pina Colada in a Pint Glass - Gaelic Storm
- 1952 Vincent Black Lightning - Richard Thompson
- Wasted and Ready - Ben Kweller
And I danced most of the day today.
No one else was around. Tina was out with one of her friends (she did leave me some food, and I've had a little of it, but for the most part I've not eaten much). The people who demand most of my attention are all out of town. I can focus on what I want to focus on for a change.
I watched Spiderman 2, which I've had for two years (since the day the DVD came out, I think) but never watched. I had to fight a bit with the packaging.
I worked on writing courses for ADF, abandoned a project for ADF at the request of someone else, started putting together some clergy resources, and right now, I feel really good.
Today, I am thankful to be alone. If your Thanksgiving is half as cool as mine is, well, you're a lucky devil.
Hang on, Turning Around just came on. I'm off to dance!
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Turning Around", -JB
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October 26th, 2006
12:20 pm - A quiet night
Last night, I did nothing.
After I left my office around 7 PM, I went searching hard for the movie Darkman, which I have never seen. You see, I've picked up a comic book called Darkman Vs. The Army of Darkness, and I want to get the background story before I read the comic book.
I assure you, it's killing me that I own a comic I can't read yet.
But, after a night of searching, I came up empty-handed at the rental stores I visited, with one telling me, "Oh, that's an old movie. You might want to try the library."
Then again, I suppose 1990 was 16 years ago.
So, when I finally came home, I ended up sitting with Tina on the couch and watching some brain-candy: Dancing with the Stars, Lost, and The Nine.
Lost still manages to keep my attention when it's on, but The Nine just. . . isn't any good. It's too scattered and disjointed for any sort of plot or feeling to take place. I think it's trying too hard.
But the nice thing about Wednesday evening TV is that none of it takes any thought.
I ended up falling asleep with Tina on the couch. It was a nice change of pace.
Edit: On the bright side (regarding how old Darkman is), one of our students is reading his history book, and said, "That's crazy. The Japanese weren't allowed to become citizens until 1952. That's not that long ago."
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: "The Great Filling Station Holdup", -JB
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September 22nd, 2006
02:55 pm - That's what friends are for
mazisexton has given me some good suggestions.
I apologize if you don't hear from me in the near future. I'm going to take a couple of her suggestions in particular to heart.
I'm scheduling a weekend with the deities. October 7 and 8 are days I simply won't be available to anyone because I'm only going to be there for them. She suggested two days of "prayer, offerings, reflecting, and conversing with the Devas," and I've been wanting at least that for a long time: I think that I just needed someone to suggest that I find that deeper involvement, rather than to tell me to get away from things and drop the things I'm juggling.
Rather than taking time off, a poor solution at best for me, this is a chance for me to get intensive when it comes to ritual work and to deepen connections that sometimes get neglected. Call it "recharging" if need be, but that's not really how I see it.
This is what I really like about mazisexton: she knows me well enough to realize that telling me that I need to drop a ball isn't going to help. Sometimes, I wish I was like her, and could do for others what she just did for me.
And on Thursday of next week, I know what I'm doing. Hey, we've all got to have a guilty pleasure somewhere. It'll be better than watching on my grainy, snowy TV. (Reception is improved, but not by enough to really enjoy the show on that channel, though it has improved from "unwachable" to "bearable," at least on certain days: thanks tesinth.)
I think I'm going to watch I Sailed to Tahiti With an All Girl Crew tonight.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: "Volcano", -JB
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September 13th, 2006
09:30 am - Han shot first, and Jimmy is back in my life
This morning, I was listening to Jimmy, something I haven't really done in a while. I admit, I take a bit of crap for playing it so often, and it does make me less likely to play it, but I've really been missing Jimmy recently.
This morning, though, was actually me listening to a cover he did of "Sail On Sailor".
I wrest the waters, fight Neptune's waters
Sail through the sorrows, of life's maurauders
Unrepenting, often empty
Sail on, sail on sailor
Like my experience with the Pinball Wizard a couple weeks ago, there was something here I hadn't heard before.
I think, though I'm not entirely certain, that I heard:
persevere
Of course, this might have to do with the line,
Heartbreaks nearing, always fearing, never caring, persevering
Because, you know, the word "persevering" appears there and all.
But last night, last night I felt truly happy as I stood in a puddle of water up to my ankles in the WalMart parking lot, holding a quart and a half of french vanilla ice cream and the DVD's of:(For those concerened about my shopping habits, the DVD's were purchased down the street at Best Buy. Only the ice cream was bought at WalMart.)
I haven't figured out why I felt so darn happy at that point. I think it was because each of those videos has a connection to friends and people I truly, deeply love, and obtaining all of them at once, and standing with them in a puddle in the rain (oh, the associations I have with rain). . . I think that was it. it was good. And it was good that it was good. And yeah, I was really very happy.
My oracle for today was simple and explicit:
209. Nobody left to blame; nobody but you. Oh, how right you are, Jimmy. Personal responsibility is truly the deepest lesson of Buffett music for me. It's my own damn fault.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Saxophones", -JB
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