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June 30th, 2008
05:07 pm - Interfaith, Pride, and Bay Leaves
I have a feeling of inadequacy. Well, sort of. More to the point, I have a feeling that I have more to prove when I walk up onto a stage, behind a pulpit, or to the altar at an interfaith gathering than most anyone else there.
I remember looking around before the service at World AIDS Day and seeing my fellow clergypersons milling about, chatting, and generally being social. I was the only person in the room off in the corner working hard to nail down my part of the service. That was a frightening experience.
I felt at the time like I was the only person who hadn't studied enough to be confident in his words, or to speak clearly, or to convey his meaning. I felt like everyone else there was so darn comfortable with what they were doing, so well-practiced and rehearsed. I really felt like a child who has been asked to sing a silly song among adults. My words were even printed in the program, so there was no way I could ad-lib if I decided to let the moment take me. It was the most strictly ordered ritual I had ever participated in, and ever have since, with one exception recently.
( More about World AIDS Day )
Having a chance to actively work toward planning the Pride service from this past weekend, however, things were a bit different. Rather than being a "token non-Christian," I was fortunate to have another Pagan there, this one from Green Faerie Grove, which made two voices for Paganism in the midst of a small sea of majority religions. Instead of being shuffled into the service with a part already written that needed to be re-edited to be even a half-truth, I was given the opportunity to not only speak from the heart, but to speak the last words of the service.
I spent time again that morning, while others in the service spent time socializing or trying to organize photos, to work out what I wanted to say. I approached trees and placed my hand on them, feeling the rough bark. I knelt to the ground and felt the grass and the dirt. I listened as closely as I could to the Mother.
I watched the entire service. Some presenters were good, some alright. None were bad. But I still felt that same oppressive feeling: I have to represent, and I have to do it well. I listened to readings from the Bible and things written by Humanists. I heard Buddhist chants and music that was catchy and spirit-lifting. And here I was with no words in my head except a general awareness of the Earth Mother.
When it was my turn, I spoke something like this (this is as I remember it, and nowhere near entirely correct. . I'm hoping that a couple of revisions will make it truer to my words that day):
"I am Rev. Michael J Dangler, of Three Cranes Grove, ADF, a local Druid fellowship. We have always felt it was important to celebrate Pride, for we are all Children of the Earth Mother. Whether we believe were formed from clay and given life by the breath of a deity; made up of the elements of the periodic table; or born directly from the Mother herself, we all share our one Earth Mother. As we prepare to depart, we will ask for blessings from our Earth Mother this day. Thank you for coming to this service, and thank the organizers for holding it. It is our tradition, though you need not follow it, to kneel and touch the ground as we call out to the Earth."
Earth Mother, your children call out to you. You uphold us as we move through life, with each step we take. Let every step we take upon you today in pride and unity Be a step toward justice, understanding, and love.
Let us follow the footsteps of our Ancestors Who blazed trails long before us and fought for what was right. Let us hear the blessings of the Nature Spirits Who play among the trees and upon the wind. And let us go forth with the strength of the Shining Ones The deities we follow and love.
Earth Mother, mighty Kindreds, Bless our steps this day, and uphold us even in adversity.
Children of the Earth, Go in peace and blessings: This service is ended.
seamus_mcnasty and I had a conversation later on about why I feel the way I do around interfaith events. A lot of it has to do with a strong desire to prove that Paganism is worth inviting into interfaith events: no matter how much I may dislike it, each time I step in front of a mixed crowd, I am representing our religion to everyone there. I am very aware of that fact, and my natural stage fright and disinclination to speak for any other person at all starts to take over. This is probably why I appear so "together" at these interfaith things: I'm so very aware of how much responsibility gets placed upon me, and how ill-prepared I often feel to live up to that level of responsibility.
In the end, seamus_mcnasty said something that I really took to heart: we in ADF (and Cranes in particular) are not people who are inclined to rest on our laurels. We are always looking to better ourselves, probably because we see just how far we have to go. Zeno's Frog is apt here, for no matter how far we have gone, there is still just a bit further to get.
I suppose that's why I spend my "free" time studying, and why I cut into things I really want to do for ADF: there's just so much further to go. I haven't even scratched the surface. . .
The comment about "resting on our laurels" reminded me of something more, too, and (I think) made our Sunday ritual better. But you'll have to wait until later for that story. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: calm Current Music: "Rancho Deluxe", -JB
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May 1st, 2008
09:13 am - Prayer for Mothers I spoke this prayer as I was doing a ritual the other night. I wanted to post it, too.
Let the light of a mother's love never diminish in a child's heart. Let the light of a mother's love never diminish in a child's eyes. Let the light of a mother's love never diminish in a child's memory. Let nothing come between mother and child, and let the child always know the mother. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "Some Gothic Ranch Action", -JB
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April 2nd, 2008
08:45 am - The Fire on Our Hearth - A Devotional of Three Cranes Grove, ADF
Three Cranes Grove, ADF, is proud to release our first book, entitled The Fire on Our Hearth - A Devotional of Three Cranes Grove, ADF.
Thirteen different people are represented in the pages of this book, only three of whom are not current Grove members. The first sixty pages are prayers for all occasions (the bulk of which are original to this book, though a couple have been published elsewhere). There are also eight chants that were created by Three Cranes members which are not on the ADF website or available through other means.
Significant events from our history are recorded, too: not only in our Grove poem, "Clutiā Trion Garanonon," but also in the evocations and rituals included: the poetic drama of last year's ComFest, the Ritual for Healing after Hurricane Katrina, the prayers to Belenos at Summerset, and our Grove Inception Statement are all included.
Prayers don't only appear in English, either: there are a few prayers in Latin and a couple in Spanish, too (translations provided)! There's also a table for translation of the Coligny Calendar month names into English.
In short, The Fire on Our Hearth does an excellent job of capturing the Voice of Three Cranes.
Rev. Kirk Thomas, ADF's Vice Archdruid, supplied us with a marvelous quote for the back of the book, saying, "This is a great book for solitaries, new Groves and Protogroves interested in investigating new rites and traditions for their personal and grove practices." He also informs me that he has submitted a review to Oak Leaves!
You can purchase The Fire on Our Hearth at the Three Cranes CafePress site, or via this direct link. We expect to bring copies to the ADF Festivals that Cranes attend, too, but don't wait: get them while they're hot!
The book is $16.99 from CafePress. Please do help support our Grove: the profit from this book all goes back to the Grove for ritual space rentals, ritual gear purchases, and all those little things that just aren't free when you're running a church. And thank you in advance for your support, as well!
This book is not available on my CafePress site, but only on the Grove's CafePress site. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "Coconut Telegraph", -JB
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February 1st, 2008
10:26 am - A prayer for a new day, a new beginning, and a new dawn Our Grove has received good and promising omens for a long time now. The concept of a "new day" and "dawn" has come up several times recently, associated particularly (I think) with work (finding, improving, and learning new things) and new ventures.
As I begin something new in my own work life, I wrote this prayer for Usas last night:
Today dawns the last of all dawns that have been And the first of all dawns that will be. Clothed in light, she appears in the east Awakening man and beasts and lighting the fires of sacrifice. Beloved of heaven, Usas unveils the treasures hidden by darkness, Distributing them to all the pious who make sacrifice.
Usas, you have awakened me to the last dawn and the first, And though each glimpse of you wastes my life, it prolongs it yet again. Bringer of wealth, breath of life, warder against evil: Let this be the first of many days I greet in your blessed light. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: "Off to See the Lizard", -JB
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December 12th, 2007
05:39 pm - Wondering Why We Ever Go Home: Greece, 2007
Journal Entry 13
04/13/07 Rhamnous Mr. No Shoulders & the Temple of Nemesis
The temple of Nemisis is not far from the sea. The site is covered in graffiti, everything from initials to drawings that look like poor scrimshaw, but the temple is beautiful despite this. It is one of the few ruins one can climb on, probably because they hope that shoes and butts can eventually smooth out graffiti.
I made an offering here to Nemisis, asking that she be there for someone, should she be needed. But my larger offering went to Themis, because I know she is needed.
The temple of Themis is unmarked, so I made my best guess about which temple was hers. I asked her to accept this offering if it was her temple, and to accept its spirit if it was not. Themis is sorely needed.
|  Temple of Nemesis | Temple of Themis The two temples are next to each other
Down by the sea, I had a staring contest with Mr. No Shoulders, who I sat down next to for a short time. Mr. No Shoulders won, of course, as he always does. I don't know my Med. snakes, though, so I didn't know him from asp nor cornsnake, so Mr. No Shoulders and I just stared at each other, him enjoying the sun, and me enjoying the breeze from the see.
It was an amicable solution.
| |  Rhamnous' site map (Gk & Eng) | View to town from the Temples | The town from up on the hill
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Music: "Fins", -JB
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November 29th, 2007
11:11 am - Wondering Why We Ever Go Home: Greece, 2007
Journal Entry 12
04/12/07 11:15 PM The House Hot Water
Hot Water is. . . ineffible. For several mornings, we have spent our showers in achingly cold water, and for the past six days, I have managed exactly one hot shower.
My body feels cleaner, and my spirit as well. While I've managed to soap, wash my hair, and rinse off every day, it has always left me feeling dirty, even fresh from the shower.
Now, after my first warm shower since the morning after I arrived, I feel clean and (possibly) even attractive again. More importantly, I don't feel like I shouldn't approach some of these temples. I feel purified. zylch said her shower was "The best shower I ever had that didn't involve sex!"
| |  The Roman Agora and Athens Acropolis Temple of Hephestos beyond the altar of Ares | Turtle! | The Acropolis from near Hadrian's Library
Today, I arrived at the temples of Ares, Athena Nike, the Olympian Zeus, and several others. I made offerings and enjoyed some meditative time on the Acropolis in Athens (where they have a strange rule that you cannot take "obscene pictures", which becomes extended to not allowing you to take photos that have people in them in the museum. In other words, you'd better not pose with your favourite statue.)
 Detail from the hem of Athena's robe Acropolis museum Gigantomachy
I have been making small offerings of coins at most of these temples, but the offerings have been mainly for others. These are not really my deities, and my belief in them is complicated.
That's the interesting thing about our practice. I don't need to believe in a deity to do the proper or appropriate work for them. I really don't think that it would insult a god (though it seems to bug the shit out of the gods followers).
But it also gives me the chance to do work for others, work I couldn't do if it were belief that was more important than practice.
So I leave each site in Greece, knowing that my offering, though left for someone other than me, has been accepted. I always walk away feeling that I have done the proper thing, that I have taken the right action.
| |  Two views of Athens, and one "Way of Hermes" sign From the Areopagus to the Agora | From the Acropolis to the sea | The Way of Hermes is over there
| |  Athenian War Museum: Thermopylae 1942 poster | WTFTentacles? | Athenian War Museum: coolest mace/club ever! Note: the tentacle sticker was found on the Areopagus But with a flask of whisky, a paint roller, and tentacles: How can you really go wrong? Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "A Thousand Steps to Nowhere", -JB
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October 30th, 2007
11:19 am - An Ancestor Prayer I wrote this prayer not long ago, and I'm thinking about it over time, trying to figure out where to improve it and think through it. It may be that it's just "done," as is.
Ancestor Prayer
When you were born, The earth became your body, The stone became your bone, The sea became your blood, The sun became your eye, The moon became your mind, The wind became your breath.
When you passed to the Otherworld, Your breath became the wind, Your mind became the moon, Your eye became the sun, Your blood became the sea, Your bone became the stone, Your body became the earth.
When we were born, you did the same for us: You called forth the earth and rocks; The sea arose and the sun descended; The moon shone down and the winds sang. For those who come after, we shall do as you did for us When we are gone, we shall do as you did before.
Ancestors, we honour you. I spoke part of this prayer at Samhain for the Grove (all of it, simply put, felt like it would have been too long, and it was cold). But I wanted to post it here, before Oct. 31, in case anyone else liked it as much as I did.
The prayer is particularly influenced by general cosmos creation patterns in IE mythology, and also by a couple of essays by Bruce Lincoln, which can be found in his excellent Death, War, and Sacrifice.
Enjoy! Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: working Current Music: "Wonder Why We Ever Go Home", -JB
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October 23rd, 2007
08:33 am - Meditations on the Ancestors As I was reading the other day, I began to think about our ancestors as a long cycle of cosmic recreation, the microcosm becoming the macrocosm becoming the microcosm, and on and on. Stone becoming bone becoming stone becoming bone.
I even wrote a little preliminary chant (I'm showing my age):
"Bone to stone, stone to bone: Never end, always change. Breath to wind, wind to breath: Rising up, crashing down. Eyes to sun, sun to eyes: Ever seeing, always knowing." Really, I actually just wrote that down on the fly while writing to someone last night. It's not even thought out, honestly. I haven't thought of a rhythm or melody for the chant, or even checked it to see if it scans reasonably. I think it's really just an idea, not an actual attempt at any sort of chant.
But this led me into doing something I actually like to do, which is writing prayers, evocations and presenting pretty liturgical language.
I suspect I'll have my final version of what I wrote last night (much better than the chant) posted here by Samonios.
My eyes opened last night in such a way as they haven't before, to the way the Ancestors and the cosmos interact.
Can't wait to see all those "Pagan New Year's Resolutions" start floating about LJ. . . My own resolution? Well, it's more of a hopeful desire: I want to get back to updating my website, Chronarchy.Com, with more regularity. I'm already started, and things are going well. I'm working particularly hard on my Dedicant Path documentation, updating that with better-quality essays. And yes, my old essays will remain available (part of the value of my website is to show that even a monkey with a typewriter can do the DP); I really did want, though, to provide some decent essays, especially after discovering that some of my essays which would not pass under the current requirements have been held up as "examples" of "what could pass." Even notes on some things saying, "This passed under the old requirements, and would not pass under the current Preceptor or requirements," haven't stopped folk from pointing to it. Just because I'm mediocre (at best) doesn't mean your work shouldn't be excellent.
So, I expect that to be a major update. But, now I've typed more than I intended, so it's back to the grind: I have so much to do today, and so little time to do it! Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: busy Current Music: "California Promises", -JB
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September 24th, 2007
01:46 pm - Out with an old prayer, in with the new: adventures in altering liturgy
When Three Cranes Grove, ADF, started, we lifted our liturgy almost entirely from The 6th Night Grove, ADF. I am particularly not ashamed of this little fact, because (quite honestly) it's a good liturgy and it's very "ADF Traditional", if such a thing could be said to exist.
One aspect of the liturgy we lifted, though, has been bugging me for some time. I believe this was added in by Amergin, actually, and I may have modified it slightly when we brought it over. It's called the "Universal Spirit Prayer," and it's something that I've mostly retained because of its familiarity to me, personally. It's one of those key ritual elements that puts me into a ritual mindset every time I hear it or say it.
Honestly, no one has ever complained about it or asked if we could leave it out. It's always been a part of our liturgy. Here's the text:
Universal Spirit Prayer:
You who are without name You who are without gender You who are without form Spirit which exists in all Creation
We, the Children of the Earth Call out to you And ask that you bless this work and our lives. So be it. I started thinking about this sometime early last year, though: this prayer really doesn't fit well with ADF's cosmology.
As I thought about this prayer, what it meant to me, what it meant to the Grove, and what it meant in ritual context, it became more and more clear to me that it was time to sort of. . . steer away from its use.
The straw that really broke the camel's back on my feelings about this particular prayer was the introduction of the ADF Core Order of Ritual, which includes a handy little section about "Items that ADF Rituals Do Not Include". There, point five is:
"Acknowledgment of one divine being with power over all"
And, of course, that's really what the US prayer is: acknowledgment of some nameless, formless, genderless . . . entity. Its placement, before the Earth Mother, as well as its general non-direction seem to empty the ritual into some sort of pan-henotheism (if such a thing can exist). I admit, that's not the direction I want to see us going.
( So I wrote a new one: my entire process for writing a single new prayer is behind the cut ) Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: "Kick It In Second Wind", -JB
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August 28th, 2007
10:25 pm - A meal prayer The following prayer was made in an attempt to stall a hungry crowd when the water wouldn't boil at Summerland. I think I wrote it down accurately:
O Earth Mother, ever bountiful and always full of life, we thank you. To our Ancestors, who learned and taught us how to reap the bounty of the land, we thank you. To the Spirits of Nature, green-kin and animal-kin who gave their lives that we might live ourselves, we thank you. To the Shining Ones, bestowers of bounty and providers of blessings, we thank you. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: awake Current Music: "Wonder Why We Ever Go Home", -JB
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May 30th, 2007
10:21 am - Wellspring 2007 - Just. . . wow.
Wellspring, this year, was very, very good. Between my very first six hour ritual and having Isaac, ADF's founder, shout, "You troublemaker you!" at me, I can't really find much fault. (See Sunday for both of those oddities, plus some.)
( Thursday )
( Friday )
( Saturday )
( Sunday )
( Monday )
The last person I saw from Wellspring was Brian, who passed me just north of Columbus on I-71 while I was fumbling around to dig out my altar for my sunset ritual. (Yes, I sometimes do my sunset ritual while driving. Sue me.) :) I made it back to Columbus around 9 PM on Monday night, feelin' damn good.
Miss you all, all over again. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: grateful Current Music: "We Are The People Our Parents Warned Us About", -JB
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May 22nd, 2007
10:11 am - Wondering Why We Ever Go Home: Greece, 2007 Journal Entry 7
04/10/07 1:20 PM Thermopylae
You inspire me. I remember you. I know your story. Sleep in blessed rest. Your duty is done. I stood on the burial mound where two hundred and ninety-eight Spartans (and many other Greeks, forgotten in time and multi-million dollar films) lie buried, surveying the landscape.
A lot has changed in 2,500 years: the sea is now over a mile from the Hot Gates, and a road runs a bare 30 meters from the edge of the wall that once ended in the Aegean.
But the topography is unmistakable.
The mountains to the left are obviously impassable, and it is obvious why the God-King Xerxes himself felt so powerless against them that he did not force his army to march over them before the traitor revealed the trail.
Looking out across the same view the Greeks must have seen, it is easy to understand why this pass seemed like an ideal place to meet the Persians (and years later the Romans and the Germans). To men as tough as the Spartans, trained from age 7 (or before), this was obviously the best place to kill the troops of the Eastern God-Emperor: there was nowhere for the enemy to hide.
 View from the burial mound to the north and west along the coast The modern site does not have many maps: initially, we could find none. From the top of the Greek burial-mound, though, there was a trail. Hoping to find the old wall, I started down it with zylch.
While we could no wall (only a flower truly caught my eye), we did get a startling view of the mountains as they must have looked so many years ago: the road and the roofs of houses were gone from our sight, and even the sound of traffic was dampened.
We later discovered that we had traveled for a short time on the traitorous goat path, left ingloriously undefended by the Phoicans.
When we returned to the burial mound, I was disappointed to have not found the wall. Still, I look some time to offer and pray to the dead buried beneath me.
And on my descent, there it was.
In what appeared to be a construction site, 100 meters from the base of the mound, I saw the wall. As I wondered how I could possibly have walked by it, I pointed it out with excitement to zylch, and convinced her to come with me.
I came up to it, stood on it, and looked around it. The wall is obviously reconstructed, but its position is obviously correct, as are its formation and size.
Here stood the men who I have held in awe and reverence for twelve years. Here they brushed out their long hair, singing as they were surrounded by certain death. Here, they fought over the body of a king descended from Herakles, fated to die that Sparta may live. Here, at this wall, Western warfare was defined.
Here, the Spartans were obedient to their laws.
And now, we had to go. Next stop: the oracle that doomed either a city or one of her kings. Delphi.
 The Phocian Wall Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: chipper Current Music: "Wonder Why We Ever Go Home", -JB
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May 7th, 2007
02:22 pm - Gotta love Boy Scouting!
So, today I'm looking at my Boy Scout Troop's website. I haven't been there for a while (I'm far too busy with a lot of other things), and I'm rather amused to see that if I want to camp with them again, I need to go through a program called "Protecting God's Children".
You can find an introduction here: http://www.virtusonline.org/virtus/preview_pgc.cfm
I recommend playing Pink Floyd in the background while running the introductory Flash program. It's totally a great soundtrack for it. I was listening to "In the Flesh" from The Wall disc 2. Do it!
What you need to understand, of course, is that the troop I work with is part of a Catholic Church. The Catholic Church has always seen Scouting as a branch of its Youth Ministry, and so we pray before meetings (a Hail Mary and the Lord's Prayer), and the troop has a high percentage of religious awards. This is why I'll have to go through this program.
This program assumes that all persons going through are Catholic, which is a consistent assumption in my work with this troop. It doesn't bother me at all: as a polytheist, I don't see a conflict with the beliefs or the prayers. And, in fact, I see my work in Scouting as a sort of youth ministry as well, except that it's not at all religious: it's hoping that the kids gain what I did from the organization. It's building bridges and helping to open their minds and think for themselves. I suppose that there's an old poem that really has always described my Scouting journey, and it describes my work better than I've ever been able to: The Bridge Builder.
Besides, someone's got to work on undoing a lot of the close-mindedness of the BSA. It might as well be me, ya know?
To an extent, I resent being presumed a sex offender who will either be "cured" or "found out" by this little three-hour session. This is a reality of our time, though: people are punished beyond their sentencing with mandatory reporting and restrictions on where they can live; cases of trusted authority misusing that power-over relationship to get something they want are reported widely; and those programs associated with the Catholic Church in particular have to do something to fix their landslide of an image.
Thankfully, they do say very specifically: "Most sexual offenders are homosexual? Myth. Most sex offenders are heterosexual, not homosexual." That's a message I like to see. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "Migration", -JB
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May 1st, 2007
09:25 am - Wondering Why We Ever Go Home: Greece, 2007 Journal Entry 6
04/09/07 6:10 PM Mount Olympus, 1400 m above sea level Olympian Zeus, Protect Me
 The sky was darkening and the sun was setting over Stavroities, and we had gone as far as we could. I knelt on the side of Olympus, greatful for the amazingly clear weather, the ease with which we found ourselves back on the trail, and the good omens we had found.
Our first good omen was the eagle we saw gliding from branch to branch while on the main trail. I knew we were being watched over at that point.
The second good omen was the woodpecker we heard while we were lost. It was the sound of his beak on the tree that gave me a knowledge that we would be okay.
The third good omen was another woodpecker who sounded as I made an offering of thanks and hope for a second good hike at the highest point we had reached. As I prayed the third line, the woodpecker responded for the Gods:
For clear skies, for keeping the rain off our backs, for a safe journey on your mountian, Olympian Zeus, be praised. Look with favor on us as we return down, look with favor on us as we return back up. Olympian Zeus, be praised. There, I left an offering of a two Euro coin with an eagle on the reverse (after checking the correspondances with zylch, our resident Hellenist in our party of three), and made an offering for viedansante as well. I gave zylch a two Euro piece for an offering as well, this one with Europa and the bull.
After we made our offerings, we started back down, and reached the parking lot in a quarter of the time it had taken us to do our entire round trip (3 hours). Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "West Nashville Grand Ballroom Gown", -JB
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February 26th, 2007
10:36 am - Usas, Writing and Working Yesterday, I sat at my computer. I'd gone to bed at gods-know-what hour after suffering through a major headache on Saturday, and woken up with suddenly nearly an enitre day to do two things:
- Practice my ASL
- Work on my book
The first thing I did was type up my ASL glossing for the test tesinth was going to help me record.
The second thing was sit down and move my book another step toward publication.
As I was writing a passage for the book, working on the "meat" of the book, which is chapter 6, "Deepening Your Practice," I found myself writing about sunrise rituals. I remembered the first time I had seen the sun rise, back when I was almost 19 years old, and thought about the effect it had on me.
Then I thought about my most recent actions regarding the sunrise, I realized that I had experienced the expanding days with a particular joy: Soon, I would be able to hold sunrise and sunset rituals again. Just today, it seems, the dawn comes at a time when I can rise before her, prepare the sacrifices, do my ritual, and still make it to work on time. I have truly missed this, and tomorrow morning I will re-start my dawn/sunset rituals.
I found myself, entirely to my surprise, suddenly writing about Usas, dancing on the rim of the world. She is the last of all dawns that came before her, and the first of all dawns that will come after her. She is that beautiful maiden whose bosom, rising from the waters of her bath, drenches the sky in the hues of morning. She opens the gates of heaven, the ways for Surya, the sun. She is greeted by those who make generous sacrifices and ignored by those who do not. It is almost as if the sacrifice can afford you a glimpse of her beauty, and it will forever affect you.
It strikes me as odd, that Usas and Ratri, so tied to perfect order, should call so strongly to me. Usas holds my heart, but there is a love for Ratri, too, and her prayers come at sunset. My facination with Usas might come from my stint as Surya at Walking With Fire in 2005, but it's hard to say. I suspect that it has more to do with the fact that I have done these dawn rituals, that I've seen Usas first hand, and every morning I fell in love with her again.
I agree with MacDonell, that there truly is no other figure in literature nor myth who is as charming or described with more deep love and emotion as Usas. I smile when I see the dawn, that knowing smile a lover gives to his beloved. I know how the poets felt when they saw her, and I know what they thought when they thought of her. I don't feel as if I can speak and do justice to her, and the things I write are never as beautiful as she.
Praised through my prayer are you who should be lauded. You have increased our wealth, Usas who loves us. Goddesses, may we win, by your good favour, wealth to be told by hundreds and thousands. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: rejuvenated Current Music: "Please Take Your Drunken 15 Year-old Girlfriend Home", -JB
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December 4th, 2006
09:00 am - The Feast of St. Barbara
Tonight, December 4, 2006, at 8 PM, you are cordially invited to my house for a feast.
Yesterday, I went up to Toledo with tesinth, who needed someone to drive up with him but hadn't heard back from anyone who had expressed interest, so I became his last resort. :) On our way back down, we stopped at the National Shrine of Our Lady of Consolation and raided their gift shop.
During our raid, we discovered that Catholic school girls are really just like every other kind of girl: they talk about boys and who is dating who (two of them were working the checkout line in the gift shop). Apparently, one spent time during checkout checking me out, or so tesinth says. I'm not sure how I feel about a sixteen year old girl checking me out, but hey, at least I wasn't checking her out.
Also at the shop, I picked up a few items related to St. Barbara: two more medals and a card with a devotional prayer on it. The card also had a feast date for St. Barbara on it: Dec. 4.
"Hey, her feast is tomorrow!" I said, as a bright light shone down from heaven and lit up the world around me.
Okay, so that last paragraph didn't quite happen like that.
But because she is one of my two patron saints (the other being St. Gulik), I feel it appropriate to honour her in some way today (especially since her feast day was, apparently, removed in 1969). And since I don't know what exactly goes on during a Catholic Saint's Feast Day (having never been Catholic), I'm going to make it up as I go along.
So tonight, join me for a dinner that will probably be generally Italian, Greek, or Turkish in food (she's from Asia Minor and is a Roman Catholic saint, so I'm a bit unsure what to cook), some prayers to a Catholic saint, and we might just blow something up.
RSVP (with number attending) is three methods:
- Reply to this journal entry.
- E-mail me or use the form on my website
- Call me and let me know you'll be there.
All RSVP's need to be received by 4 PM today so I can make sure that I have enough food on hand and enough time to mail out directions to those who need it.
If you have my cell phone number, you can call me after 4 PM to RSVP, but not too late, as I may have to regretfully decline your presence if I've already bought food for a certain number of people. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Music: "Creola", -JB
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December 1st, 2006
02:01 pm - It's a tad blustery, but that's not really important. . .
So today it's kinda blustery outside. People keep talking about it (one gent demonstrated the force of the wind to his friends by stumbling about in the lobby of my building when I got back from lunch), but it's really not that impressive to me. Sure, the wind is blowing, but then, it kinda always does. You know, it's wind. And wind, as they say, blows.
I would point out, though, that 'tis an ill wind that blows no minds.
Personally, I'm more concerned about the state of disaster I heard Kansas was in this morning, given that I have family there whose livelihood can be destroyed by a very bad ice storm, like the one that has recently passed over there.
The weather here, honestly, is annoying but not bad or extraordinary to me.
I've been following the conversations on ADF-Liturgists, but avoiding posting recently. A number of conversations have come up here on LJ, and they've been rather fun to talk through without a lot of the emotion that seems to have spurred discussion on the email list. Those I've talked to on LJ seem a lot more willing to chat about things, and I don't have to worry about being formal.
The prayer time has helped, too. With a recently cleaned room and a greater tendency to sleep in my bed (instead of the couch, which is where I have been exhaustedly falling asleep until about this week), I'm reopening a deeper personal practice. My liturgy journal is behind in postings, but it's not so far behind in being written down. I just have to find the time this weekend to do some catching up.
I picked up issue # 12 of the Army of Darkness comic book. The cover I got, of course, is the one with Ash and the two schoolgirls. I mean, honestly, what did you expect? The back cover, though, indicates that unlucky issue # 13 will involve the death of Ashley J. Williams. I'm curious to see how this plays out, but it's expected to coincide nicely with a Marvel Comics crossover, Marvel Zombies. Why didn't I get into comic books as a kid? This is kinda fun!
I'm also highly amused at two headlines, sitting sid-by-side in the politics section of CNN today: Um. . . I think that the first and the second one are mutually exclusive. The GOP is apparently not happy with telling you what you can and can't do in your bedroom; it now also wishes to legislate when you're allowed to feel pain for the first time. How's that for civil liberties and personal responsibility?
Time to write my rat of a congresswoman yet again. She's so good at what she does.
Oh yeah: I also have a "terror score" assigned to me for the next forty years. Didn't know you were reading a terrorist's LJ, did ya? I wasn't aware I was writing one until just this morning.
I'll be at Outland tonight. . . We'll see how the 80's/industrial/goth night goes. I'm curious how it'll all play out. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "Little Miss Magic", -JB
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November 2nd, 2006
01:07 pm - Inspiration invocation Inspiration Invocation. Written at lunch, Thursday, November 2, 2006:
I reach deeply within myself; seeking, searching. My eyes turn inward and see deep; seeking, searching. My fingers reach out, feeling forth; seeking, searching. My ears are open, listening; seeking, searching. My nose sniffs for any sign here; seeking, searching. My tongue tastes the sweet nectar now; seeking, searching. Here it is, within me, calling; seeking, searching. Here I am, to greet it, hold it; seeking, searching. Here we are, together, tightly; holding, knowing. Inspiration, I call to you; hold me, know me. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: calm Current Music: "Something So Feminine About a Mandolin", -JB
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October 30th, 2006
05:36 pm - There it is. There's the change I need to make. I can see it clearly.
I've been having trouble with something in particular recently, regarding this paradigm shift I've been working out (details are forthcoming, really).
And today, I saw that I'm afraid of the shift in some ways. In others, I'm not at all. I see its utility and its necessity, and I see the way the shift could go without it, and that's also attractive in its own right.
Esus, guide me to cut the right branches, to cut them the right length, and to cut them with the knowledge that I have to. This shift isn't chaos magic. It's a reunderstanding of myself, a deeper hope, a stronger dream. It is acceptance and strong movement at once. It is like standing in the middle of a violent storm, and seeing all the ways things can go, and knowing you have to choose, that the storm won't stop until you give it direction, that it will continue to consume you.
What makes us happy is not always what is best for us.
What is best for us doesn't always make us happy.
The doors that open match the doors that close, and things move to make sense in ways you never expected.
I know, I'll get some crap for being vague.
But I find it clear. I really do.
And that, alone, is scary. But I've learned nothing in my relationship with Esus if I haven't learned that sometimes, the scary is what you really need to do, because it's the best thing.
The trick is doing the scary stuff right.
That couldn't be me in the gorilla disguise. . . Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: calm Current Music: "This Hotel Room", -JB
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October 18th, 2006
04:59 pm - Mad Lib prayers? Please fill in the blanks:
- a) name of deity
- b) title/attribute of this deity (i.e. "horse goddess", "sky god", "red-head hottie")
- c) your name, pseudonym, or identifying category (i.e. "MJD" or "A child of the Earth")
- d) Mythological feat by this deity
- e) Cosmological place of this deity
- f) Action you have done for this deity - optional
- g) Request you have of this deity - optional
- h) word or phrase for ending a prayer
I'm testing "MadLib" style prayer creation, and I need a number of possibilites here. Current Location: Southeast of Disorder Current Mood: amused Current Music: "The Weather is Here (I Wish You Were Beautiful)", -JB
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