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June 30th, 2008
05:07 pm - Interfaith, Pride, and Bay Leaves
 I have a feeling of inadequacy. Well, sort of. More to the point, I have a feeling that I have more to prove when I walk up onto a stage, behind a pulpit, or to the altar at an interfaith gathering than most anyone else there.
I remember looking around before the service at World AIDS Day and seeing my fellow clergypersons milling about, chatting, and generally being social. I was the only person in the room off in the corner working hard to nail down my part of the service. That was a frightening experience.
I felt at the time like I was the only person who hadn't studied enough to be confident in his words, or to speak clearly, or to convey his meaning. I felt like everyone else there was so darn comfortable with what they were doing, so well-practiced and rehearsed. I really felt like a child who has been asked to sing a silly song among adults. My words were even printed in the program, so there was no way I could ad-lib if I decided to let the moment take me. It was the most strictly ordered ritual I had ever participated in, and ever have since, with one exception recently.
( More about World AIDS Day )
Having a chance to actively work toward planning the Pride service from this past weekend, however, things were a bit different. Rather than being a "token non-Christian," I was fortunate to have another Pagan there, this one from Green Faerie Grove, which made two voices for Paganism in the midst of a small sea of majority religions. Instead of being shuffled into the service with a part already written that needed to be re-edited to be even a half-truth, I was given the opportunity to not only speak from the heart, but to speak the last words of the service.
I spent time again that morning, while others in the service spent time socializing or trying to organize photos, to work out what I wanted to say. I approached trees and placed my hand on them, feeling the rough bark. I knelt to the ground and felt the grass and the dirt. I listened as closely as I could to the Mother.
I watched the entire service. Some presenters were good, some alright. None were bad. But I still felt that same oppressive feeling: I have to represent, and I have to do it well. I listened to readings from the Bible and things written by Humanists. I heard Buddhist chants and music that was catchy and spirit-lifting. And here I was with no words in my head except a general awareness of the Earth Mother.
When it was my turn, I spoke something like this (this is as I remember it, and nowhere near entirely correct. . I'm hoping that a couple of revisions will make it truer to my words that day):
"I am Rev. Michael J Dangler, of Three Cranes Grove, ADF, a local Druid fellowship. We have always felt it was important to celebrate Pride, for we are all Children of the Earth Mother. Whether we believe were formed from clay and given life by the breath of a deity; made up of the elements of the periodic table; or born directly from the Mother herself, we all share our one Earth Mother. As we prepare to depart, we will ask for blessings from our Earth Mother this day. Thank you for coming to this service, and thank the organizers for holding it. It is our tradition, though you need not follow it, to kneel and touch the ground as we call out to the Earth."
Earth Mother, your children call out to you.
You uphold us as we move through life, with each step we take.
Let every step we take upon you today in pride and unity
Be a step toward justice, understanding, and love.
Let us follow the footsteps of our Ancestors
Who blazed trails long before us and fought for what was right.
Let us hear the blessings of the Nature Spirits
Who play among the trees and upon the wind.
And let us go forth with the strength of the Shining Ones
The deities we follow and love.
Earth Mother, mighty Kindreds,
Bless our steps this day, and uphold us even in adversity.
Children of the Earth,
Go in peace and blessings:
This service is ended.
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) seamus_mcnasty and I had a conversation later on about why I feel the way I do around interfaith events. A lot of it has to do with a strong desire to prove that Paganism is worth inviting into interfaith events: no matter how much I may dislike it, each time I step in front of a mixed crowd, I am representing our religion to everyone there. I am very aware of that fact, and my natural stage fright and disinclination to speak for any other person at all starts to take over. This is probably why I appear so "together" at these interfaith things: I'm so very aware of how much responsibility gets placed upon me, and how ill-prepared I often feel to live up to that level of responsibility.
In the end, seamus_mcnasty said something that I really took to heart: we in ADF (and Cranes in particular) are not people who are inclined to rest on our laurels. We are always looking to better ourselves, probably because we see just how far we have to go. Zeno's Frog is apt here, for no matter how far we have gone, there is still just a bit further to get.
I suppose that's why I spend my "free" time studying, and why I cut into things I really want to do for ADF: there's just so much further to go. I haven't even scratched the surface. . .
The comment about "resting on our laurels" reminded me of something more, too, and (I think) made our Sunday ritual better. But you'll have to wait until later for that story.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) calm
Current Music: "Rancho Deluxe", -JB
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April 28th, 2008
10:46 am - Grove Blog, Books, and Pride
The new version of WordPress is a tad different, so I'm forgetting to actually "publish" the ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/syndicated.gif) 3cg_blog posts after writing them on occasion. I caught it earlier this time than I did last time. Still, it just showed up on LJ.
I ordered a book the other day from Miami University of Ohio, called Ecstasy: Trance, Dance, and Transformation. I thought this would be a great resource for my Trance 2 work, figuring that a book like that would be wonderful for more information about trance.
Well, it's not about trance. Or dance. Or even transformation. It's about the damn drug ecstasy. Quite honestly, I can't figure out why anyone would want this particular book. The author is trying to be some sort of Tim Leary and not doing a very good job of it at all. I find myself shaking my fist at MUOhio and thinking smoldering thoughts in the direction of Oxford, as if it's somehow their fault.
 Last Thursday, I attended a Pride organizational event. Three Cranes Grove, ADF, has been asked to help with the intertraditional service before Pride this year, and I'm very excited about this. As a result, I find myself with a dire need to accessorize my ritual gear (no, I'm not kidding at all). I was thinking that I need either a rainbow stole or perhaps a rainbow sash to replace my usual belt, but something with the ADF sigil on it. Anyone willing to give me a hand and help me by making it (or keying me into where I can get such a thing)?
I really enjoyed the Pride meeting, by the way. As I reflected back on the meeting, I wondered if I should have felt out of place, or if I had felt out of place. I really didn't, and I suspect that because there was a representative from Green Faerie Grove, I didn't feel as out of place as I had in the initial meetings I had during my last interfaith foray for World AIDS Day (where I was the only Pagan in the room and service, though my discomfort cleared up quickly in that setting). I've always really liked the Pride movement, but involvement isn't always easy for allies. I'm very happy that I've been offered this particular chance to show my support (and my Grove's support) for the movement.
It's clear to me that I'm going to have to get over my general discomfort with certain terms, though, particularly "queer," which is a term that I've known most cleary from its use on the playground during my primary education in Kentucky, really, so those connotations still stick in my head. I'm not sure that the word had passed my lips since at least 1999, when I last mentioned playing the game "smear the queer" on the playground to my girlfriend (who was appalled I had played it: I'm pretty sure I hadn't thought of the socio-political impacts of the game's name before that). This is an entirely different community with a very specialized vocabulary that I'm not at all used to, and I'm pretty darn sure that the vocabulary isn't agreed upon by the entire population.
Ah, well: it's an adventure, and one that I'm very eager to take part in.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: "Bama Breeze", -JB
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