|
|
|
April 25th, 2008
08:53 am - Dreaming the CTP
This morning, I awoke to a dream that I had been working on the ADF Clergy Training Program.
Now, if only I could remember what I wrote, because I think I finished Trance 2 in the dream. . .
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: "First Look", -JB
|
October 18th, 2007
09:07 am - Ritual Stress, and Unstressing
Yesterday, well: it was rough. Mostly, I had a rite that I really wanted to go well last night, but which I was really, really worried about. I'd spent a lot of time working through songs and trying to get them ready to go, and to learn them, only to end up forgetting melodies and underestimating the time needed to learn them.
Work has put me under more stress than usual, as well: I've been working my ass off for five solid weeks with no end in sight. Combine that with my usual pre-ritual anxiety and you have one basket-case of a priest.
It wasn't until I began to ritually pack the altar items we'd need that I finally started to calm down. There's something about going through the rite and all the stuff that's remarkably calming on me.
In the end, it turned out not to be the quality of our singing that was vitally important to Cantlos, our "ritual of songs" for this Druid Moon; it was the amusement and joy I saw on people's faces around the fire. Between forgotten words, failed reading of the lyrics, and our Grove's general "I-don't-sing" sentiment, the rite was full of songs and laughter and new jokes. Honestly, it was rather fun.
Props to the Grove for that processional, btw. Definite props.
I wouldn't have ever dared to do a ritual with that many songs and that little rehearsal as a public rite, but as a Grove rite, it was a lot more relaxed and fun. It may not have been as excellent as we could have made it, but we certainly learned a lot from it (like next Sept., we're going to need a meeting where all we do is rehearse songs for this ritual, and write new ones).
And boy, my Trance Journal got a hell of an entry on last night. I'm still not sure what to think of all that, but I see a lot of room for improvement on induction and focus.
We've a long way to go toward excellence with this particular rite, but I think we can manage it well. We have a year to look at it again, and the omens were not at all bad, though I think that the Powers were perhaps a bit confused by the shear number of songs we used, and possibly by the number of people making up songs on the fly, a la ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) druidkirk. The omens are speaking to me more strongly this morning.
A favourite part of the rite last night, though, was after the rite: sitting and singing/listening to karaoke with the Grove. I was there until 11:30 (when I figured our hosts might like to get some sleep. . .)
The next Druid Moon Rite, Samonios, is already in the formal planning stages now; I'll be chatting with the Grove tonight about what they'd like to do at the next Druid Moon. I suspect that removing the variable of *that many* songs will help a lot in the planning (and my subsequent stress). But I'm particularly looking forward to December's Druid Moon Rite, where we get to go back to doing initiations for a night.
That's something I really look forward to doing again.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) amused
Current Music: "What if the Hokey-Pokey is All It Really Is About?", -JB
|
October 10th, 2007
09:39 am - Chronarchy and the Fox
 At the Clergy Retreat this past weekend (which I was only able to attend for about 10 hours), during the Order Work, I encountered an old friend.
While walking across the green plain, I passed a fox. He was dressed for travel, and walking on his hind legs, a bag and a stick slung over his shoulder, almost like a child who had run away from home, but his step was sure and he was focused on his destination.
In my first vision, he tipped his hat and continued walking. In this vision, he smiled with a toothy grin and turned around to walk with me.
As we traveled, we discussed things. Many of these things are simply unimportant to the present re-telling, so I will leave them.
What is important, though, is the very direct message that this old friend gave me:
He said, "You have a long way to go."
Then he looked at me squarely. "Start already."
And with that, he turned and continued on his way, and I continued on mine. But I certainly have not and will not forget what he said, and I certainly know exactly what it meant.
Maybe one day, he'll show me what's in that bag of his. I know what it is, even though I've never seen it. I knew when I first saw the bag a year ago.
I hope he doesn't think it's a little red hen.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: "Brand New Country Star", - JB
|
March 13th, 2007
10:30 am - More CTPing
 Last night, I turned in at about 1 AM, after writing four of the essays for Magic 2. I simply couldn't hold my eyes open anymore.
I should be finishing the final two non-practice requirements tonight (I've been using my new-found lunch hours to outline my responses to wonderful effect), and then moving on to Divination 2.
I pushed for a much more verbose (and, resultantly, intensive) Divination 2 course originally. Most seers would have been able to take their CTP studies and publish a book on just the essays alone, if my original idea had gone through. I admit to being happy it did not. I should be able to complete Div. 2 in about a week, I imagine, with a couple of key exceptions:- The 5-month journal (which should match up some with my Magic2/Trance1 journal)
- Nine divinations done for others (for those I've done divination for, you'll get an email or note asking permission before I publish)
- Three omens taken by me in public ritual (a clergy-only requirement for Div 2)
Once that's done, I'll start in on the journaling, and I expect the next five months of my life to be pretty darn busy with trancework, magical work, and divination work. I find that the work I'm doing is intensely personal, and if the CTP's journaling experiences are anything like the Lit. Practicum 1 journaling experience was, well, I'll be having a hell of a good run.
I understand why priests in most other religions don't have dayjobs :) The dayjob gets in the way of studying (you can't study while you're maintaining email accounts, I've found), which means that you have to make time for your studying during what used to be "personal time" that was outside your other job: being clergy. Of course, a lot of my time designated as "personal" has recently also been "on-call," but I actually like that (odd as that sounds) and don't find myself minding if it continues to increase.
Anyway, by the end of the day today, I expect to be finished with all but two requirements for Magic 2. By the beginning of next week, I should be finished with all but one requirement for Divination 2. After that, I'll work on Trance 1 (I should have enough time over spring break to finish up the non-practice requirements there). Once I've finished Trace 1, I'll start my journaling and practicum for those courses.
I'm looking forward to it all!
[side note: while searching for a picture to match this entry, this freaked me out.]
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Bama Breeze", -JB
|
October 2nd, 2006
10:39 am - Reflections on ADF's first Clergy Retreat
The vision started with a blending and bending. The Trilathon stood at the center of my vision, the world around it swirling and yet stationary.
To the right of the gate stood the Earth Mother, beautiful to behold, smiling gently, adorned in reds and browns. I was astounded to realise that I had never in my life looked at the Earth Mother, through all my training and work, through five years of honouring her in all my rituals. I was awed by the beauty that radiated from her.
To the left of the gate stood Garanus, wings folded, stately. One leg was folded up, his other foot was rooted to the mud. It struck me as odd to find him in this pose, when so often I have seen him in the deep, sacred waters with one foot, and the other foot on the land. Still, the mud between his toes was the land and sea, and he was still a creature of the skies.
I bowed to the crane and asked his blessing. I knelt before the Earth Mother, smelling her scent. Both granted me entrance to the mists beyond the portal. So began my vision. ADF's Clergy Retreat this past weekend included the best and deepest trance experience and work I have done since meeting and experiencing trancework with Dr. Felcitas Goodman.
It may have been better.
ADF has integrated real, deep trancework into Our Druidry in a very tangible way.
The omens taken that weekend are still written on my hands. The Initiate's Program is hammered out entirely, and should be ready for students very, very soon. ADF's Core Order of Ritual is solidified. We discussed what ADF ritual *doesn't* do in concrete terms. Courses in magic, divination, and trance are now prepared. I took over 24 pages of notes in my journals regarding events this past weekend. I learned many things about liturgy and ritual, and have helped write and learned a new chant, one I hold very deer to myself.
I am, possibly, not the same person I was on Friday night, when I stepped out of the car at Tredara.
I have no doubt that the weekend was life-changing, and that my experience was deeply religious.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: rejuvenated
Current Music: "Stars on the Water", -JB
|
|
|
