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Terror at 33,000 feet! - Chronarchy

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May 14th, 2004


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04:32 pm - Terror at 33,000 feet!
gothicdruid asked me to bring some white gas with me to Wellspring so he could use his stove. We started talking about whether he should even bring the bottles for the gas, because of the vapor they may have in them (he's flying from California, and they don't allow flamable liquids on planes, you know). And this got me thinking.

Oh, you know what happens when I think!

So here's the news story that would probably run if Todd took a couple of empty white gas bottles on the plane:

===

"DRUID TERRORIZES FLIGHT"

"At 33,000 feet, a leader from the terrorist organization A.D.F. (whose full name is unknown because no one can spell or pronounce it) took a plane hostage today, threatening to set off a bomb on the plane. Also on the plane were 30 children from the First Baptist Grade School of Los Angeles, who were flying to Cleveland to protest what they call the "Devil Music Hall of Fame". Authorities suspect that Todd Covert, (probably an alias used for secret or "covert" operations for the A.D.F. organization), smuggled the cannisters on board on orders from his superiors, the "Mother Grove". Apparently, the cannisters had been used before for dry runs, because they had been emptied of all contents, and he had simply forgotten to re-fill them with their dangerously flammable contents. It was this small slip that led to the capture of this terrorist mastermind and saved the crew and passengers of Flight 1932."

"The A.D.F., known for it's facade of laziness, disorganization, and infighting, has been a harbour for Druid Fundamentalists for years. The "Arch Druid", a shadowy figure who goes by the terrifying pseudonym, "Skip", is the leader of the organization. He does nothing without the express consent of the "Mother Grove", which the FBI reports is a kind of "down to earth UFO cult within the larger scheme of the organization." Despite the fact that there are only 12 people on the "Mother Grove", they pretend to never reach agreement. In private, however, they reach complete consensus in seconds, because each member is under the primary control of the sinister "Skip"."

""Why the A.D.F. chose to send a "Mother Grove" member of such high rank on a suicide mission can only be speculated at this point", said FBI spokeswoman Marsha Deaver. "But we will get to the bottom of this, and this "druidic" cult of fundamentalist terrorists will be destroyed.""

"Each local terrorist cell is called a "Grove", and small cells are called "Protogroves", which seems to be a kind of euphamism for "Spawn Grove" or "Primitive Grove". Individual workers are called "Sprouts". It is suspected that this terminology is from reading too many science fiction novels by the organization's initial leader, who ruled with an authoritarian bent. He took his name from the bones he crushed on his way to the top of the organization: "Bonewits"."

===

It would have gotten more prolific, but I was called to a meeting while writing it.

Work should not interfere so.
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "Last Mango in Paris", -JB

(27 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:tlachtga
Date:May 14th, 2004 01:45 pm (UTC)
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Oh man, that's good.
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From:chronarchy
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:01 pm (UTC)
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I had fun writing it :)
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From:capriciouslass
Date:May 14th, 2004 01:50 pm (UTC)
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Damn that work! I hate it when work interferes with my LJ...

Great story though!
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:02 pm (UTC)
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Yes. Evil work. But I love the paycheck. . . What to do?!?!?

Thanks!
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From:qorinda
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:09 pm (UTC)
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ROFLMAO! That was great!

And yeah, I hate it when work interferes with the rest of my life too, but I like the money. *resigned sigh* Such is life.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:11 pm (UTC)
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Thanks :) I'm still enjoying the idea of this. . .

Work deserves a smack.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:30 pm (UTC)
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"white gas" is a fuel for stoves, particularly backpacking stoves. It comes in a liquid form, much like gasoline, but it's more pure, burns hotter, and longer. It's lighter than propane, and generally considered one of the ideal fuels for backpacking.

Nah, I got enough to do here, but thanks for the offer. :) It's just that when I start thinking, I'm dangerous :)
[User Picture]
From:gypsydove
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:35 pm (UTC)
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hate that work thing..there should be a law of work not interfering with LJ...damn the rules of the higher ups...

Grin loved it loved it loved it...grin...
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:47 pm (UTC)
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Thank you! :)
From:moonversion
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:46 pm (UTC)
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Covert operations!! Hahahahahahahaha. You rock.
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From:chronarchy
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:54 pm (UTC)
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I know. But remember, I suspect I'm not the first person to pun that phrase!

Ouch! That hurt! I gotta stop punning. It's a terrible habit.
From:moonversion
Date:May 14th, 2004 03:13 pm (UTC)
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I know. ;D

Be careful with those puns, I hear that they're sharp and pointy....
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From:gothicdruid
Date:May 14th, 2004 04:54 pm (UTC)
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Nope...indeed my other AOL screenname besides "ravenbard" is "tcovertops"...you know..."t" "covert" "ops"...cuz my first name begins with a "t"...and "covert ops" is...

Oh, never mind...no one ever gets it... :P
From:moonversion
Date:May 14th, 2004 09:06 pm (UTC)
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Does this mean you wear all black and get to play with nifty spy-gadgets?!
[User Picture]
From:qorinda
Date:May 14th, 2004 11:14 pm (UTC)
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It's that moon in Scorpio.... loves undercover work and digging for information. Believe me, I know....
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From:mlleelizabeth
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:51 pm (UTC)
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Work should not interfere so.

No, it shouldn't. Especially when you're writing something this hilarious!
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From:chronarchy
Date:May 14th, 2004 02:56 pm (UTC)
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Hehe. I know. Speaking of, I read the last couple of stories you've put up (after what felt like a long silence). They were good, as always. :)

You didn't comment on me watching Smallville now. I wrote a post with that in it especially for you, too :)

Now, go back and look! :) I need answers to the questions I posed!
[User Picture]
From:mlleelizabeth
Date:May 17th, 2004 08:22 am (UTC)
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I missed that post! Bad Liz! I've gone back and found it and tried to answer for you. I'm really glad you're sucked in now. Hee!

Thank you for the feedback. There was a long silence between stories, mainly because it hurt so much to type. It still hurts a little, but it's getting better every day, thank goodness. I am currently working on what looks to be a fairly long story, for me, but I'm not posting it until it's done. And beware -- it's Disco Clex! Whee!
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From:chronarchy
Date:May 17th, 2004 05:01 pm (UTC)
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I'm looking forward to the new story :)

what ever happened to that one I was in? :) I saw part, but I don't think you were finished at the time?
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From:mlleelizabeth
Date:May 18th, 2004 10:52 am (UTC)
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I'm looking forward to the new story :)

It will be a while - probably sometime mid to late summer. I am writing it in teeny tiny bits, in between times of being stuck in research hell for it.

what ever happened to that one I was in? :) I saw part, but I don't think you were finished at the time?

No, I never finished it. In fact, I only wrote out and posted 2 parts of it. I have the whole thing finished in my mind though. The problem is, it went in a distressingly sad direction and I didn't want to actually type it up after that. Maybe someday I will be able to come back to it. But it just didn't turn out to be my usual romantic comedy, and it depresses me. You weren't sad or depressing in it, though, so there is at least that to be happy about.
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From:chronarchy
Date:May 18th, 2004 10:57 am (UTC)
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Well, I wouldn't want you depressed. :)

You weren't sad or depressing in it, though, so there is at least that to be happy about.

That's good to know. I expect I'd have a hard time being depressing or sad, anyway :)
From:rubydolphin
Date:May 14th, 2004 03:44 pm (UTC)
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ROFL... that was great!

One question, though. Since he's flying in, he's obviously going to hit some kind of city and/or town before getting to Wellspring. Why not just stop on the way from the airport and pick up the gas? Is it that hard to find?
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:May 14th, 2004 04:11 pm (UTC)
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Well, you have to *find* a camping store, because most places don't carry white gas. That can be difficult if you're not from around a place.

It's just easier (and a bit more hospitable) for me to pick it up for him. It's not like it's expensive.

He *could* use kerosine in the thing, I'm sure, but that doesn't burn as well.

But thanks :)
[User Picture]
From:satikat
Date:May 14th, 2004 06:13 pm (UTC)
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can i copy this to the clg list?
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:May 15th, 2004 04:34 pm (UTC)
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Feel free. In fact, anything I write is pretty fair game.

I'm flattered you're that amused.

BTW, I have a picture of you, sparkliedragon, and me all engaged in some pretty heavy petting. . .

-MJD
[User Picture]
From:moonstone1220
Date:May 14th, 2004 09:37 pm (UTC)
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Your "News Article" was great .I laughed the hole time reading it
From:ravenlaughing
Date:May 14th, 2004 11:46 pm (UTC)
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AAAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!

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