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July 27th, 2004


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12:43 pm - Scientific evidence about how I kiss
Allow me to set the record straight:

What kissing me is unlikely to be:

1) No woman has ever burst out laughing after I kissed her. I am not likely to be a funny kiss.

2) No woman has ever fainted after I kissed her. I am not likely to be a kiss who will take your breath away.

3) Women have forgotten that I kissed them. I am not likely to be a memorable kiss.

4) Women have asked me to kiss them, and I have refused. I am not likely to be an ill-considered kiss.

5) Women have slept through kisses. I am not likely to make you sit up and take notice of my kiss.

What kissing me is likely to be:

1) Women have gotten dizzy after kissing me. It is possible that my kiss will make your world spin.

2) Women have smiled after kissing me. It is possible that my kiss meets with approval.

3) Women have melted in my arms. It is possible that my kiss is hot.

4) Women have been surprised that I kissed them. It is possible that I am sneaky about my kiss.

5) Women have moaned while kissing me. It is possible that they were trying to get away from my kiss.

Finally:

No woman has ever slapped me after I kissed her. I am obviously not a good kiss.

===

The evidence is presented. You may draw your own conclusions.
Current Mood: objective
Current Music: "I Heard I Was In Town", -JB

(14 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:garan_du
Date:July 27th, 2004 10:22 am (UTC)
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Yes, but what are other men likely to do or experience? (he impishly asks)
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From:chronarchy
Date:July 27th, 2004 10:35 am (UTC)
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Well, no man has ever seemed too interested in doing anything after a kiss, so I would suggest that men can expect a kiss to be boring.

Having kissed two men in my life, and not personally being interested to do anything else, it's hard for me to quantify that one.

Guess you'll just have to find the guys I've kissed and ask them. :)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 27th, 2004 11:15 am (UTC)
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Do I detect a note of volunteerism to prove a theory?
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From:suicidekttn
Date:July 27th, 2004 12:50 pm (UTC)
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I agree. ^.^
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From:capriciouslass
Date:July 27th, 2004 03:10 pm (UTC)

Wrong conclusion from the data

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No woman has ever slapped me after I kissed her. I am obviously not a good kiss.

I think it's more the kissing without permission than the actual kissing that receives the slap.
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From:chronarchy
Date:July 27th, 2004 03:36 pm (UTC)

Re: Wrong conclusion from the data

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I dunno. In the movies, the guy with the good kiss always gets slapped. Well, certainly more often than not. If we cannot base reality off of Hollywood, what hope do we have left for this country?
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 27th, 2004 03:43 pm (UTC)

Re: Wrong conclusion from the data

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I think that, given the company (and their respective purity test scores), that you are correct.

Hmm . . . That gets me thinking. . . Would zylch slap me if I kissed her?

Assuming, of course, that I kissed her but good?

Besides, not all my friends are as cool as you guys. Just most of 'em.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 27th, 2004 03:50 pm (UTC)

Re: Wrong conclusion from the data

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Just most of 'em.

Before that little statement gets me in trouble:

No, you are not *average*. I don't have average friends. More properly, I should state that when it comes to non-sexually-repressed friends, which is a cool thing to be, most of them are cool like that.

Worry not, you are also cool in other ways, and in several of those ways cooler than many others.
[User Picture]
From:capriciouslass
Date:July 27th, 2004 08:23 pm (UTC)

Re: Wrong conclusion from the data

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the guy with the good kiss always gets slapped
Well, he may have the good kiss, but he's also the rogue. Isn't it a requirement that the rogue-ish character gets slapped at some point?

If we cannot base reality off of Hollywood, what hope do we have left for this country?
There's always Danielle Steele novels...
From:ravenlaughing
Date:July 28th, 2004 06:27 am (UTC)

Re: Wrong conclusion from the data

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LOL! And I always thought the slap meant "That was for anyone watching so they don't get the idea that I liked it; but if you don't do it again, I'll really slap you..."
[User Picture]
From:romandruid
Date:July 27th, 2004 06:04 pm (UTC)

Kisses, schmisses...

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Women have gotten dizzy after kissing me. It is possible that my kiss will make your world spin.

More likely it has something to do with the change in altitude. :p

Women have asked me to kiss them, and I have refused. I am not likely to be an ill-considered kiss.

So I should be 'honored' that you gave me a Beltaine kiss, eh? 'Cept it felt like you were kissing your mother. [yawn]
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 28th, 2004 05:38 am (UTC)

Re: Kisses, schmisses...

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I did that against my better judgement, and I should have listened to it.

Between that kiss and one other (that took me by surprise), I decided that I'd never be kissing another woman on the lips, aside from Tina.

I'm not comfortable kissing anyone but Tina, and honestly, it makes me feel very, very disgusted with myself.

You got one of the last three.
[User Picture]
From:romandruid
Date:July 28th, 2004 07:08 am (UTC)

Re: Kisses, schmisses...

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Not to worry -- I didn't mean to pick on you that day. I'll stick with hugs from now on. :)
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From:smithing_chick
Date:July 27th, 2004 09:10 pm (UTC)
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Well, several of your conclusions don't follow from the actions presented. I've never moaned because I was tryign to get away from someone. And I've never slapped a really good kisser.

So, my conclusion is that I would need more research to really draw a comclusion, preferably "hands on" (or would that be "lips on"?)

:)

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