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Ár nDraíocht Féin
Three Cranes
Chaos Matrix

November 9th, 2004

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07:16 pm - *gets on soapbox* "Now, I'm not trying to offend, but watch me say something wrong and regret it!"
Over the past 10 years, I've been exposed to some interesting things in Paganism. One of the results of this is that I can pretty well take any new development with relatively little non-plus.

Every so often, though, I'm a bit surprised at things. I'd like to address two of them, because they've been on my mind recently for various reasons.

**Note: No, this isn't directed at anyone. It's just some observation to hopefully help people understand what I mean.

polyamouryCollapse )SD's and Grove membersCollapse )
Current Mood: restlessrestless
Current Music: "Fins", -JB

(45 comments Leave a comment)


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[User Picture]
Date:November 11th, 2004 01:09 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Ive never seen a Healthy Polyamorous relationship either...Ive even tried a few. None of them turned out very pretty. One party usually feels like they are the third wheel. Ive also seen folks fall in love with someone else altogether and leave the first party to pursue the new relationship. The first party is then hurt deeply. As for dating within Groves, I like the idea of being able to share my spiritual thoughts with my partner. And I like feeling like there is a commonality between us. And I dont think Senior Druids dating their Grovemates should be taboo unless it interferes with their Job Description.
[User Picture]
Date:November 12th, 2004 02:52 pm (UTC)
Thing is, though, relationships can find commonality on a lot of other things. Religion is just one of those things.

When thinking about job descriptions, you have to think about what an SD is supposed to be doing: we're expected to be able to be there for our members (if they ask for us) in their moments of weakness, and we're expected to be the spiritual heads of our Groves. Can an SD who is involved with a person necessarily do one or both of those? What happens if the Grove is small, and the person doesn't have anyone else to talk to?

And worse, what if the SD has a moment of weakness when the member also has one? How does that help anyone?
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:November 12th, 2004 03:28 pm (UTC)
Ha. You might have a point, there. To me, it's somewhere midling-to-bottom. But then, I have no problem hopping around paradigms, as you mention. If it doesn't work, I reject it, perhaps?
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:November 12th, 2004 03:45 pm (UTC)

Re: Further observations

Cheater :) But I appreciate the version number.

You're very right, though. I'm coming at it from perhaps a very negative viewpoint, and I'm not taking into account the relationships that are quiet and do work, mostly because they're so quiet.

But (as I mentioned above), I was actually thinking a lot about you guys (and malacat, as well) when I wrote this up. I knew that it does work.

The more I thought about it, though, the more I saw having a potential to go majorly south. We're not talking just a bit, but (as I know you you know) a hell of a lot. A particularly bad relationship can sour an entire Grove (or coven or cabal or whathaveyou) against their own spirituality. It can cause infighting and destroy an organization's name.

The potential destruction is so wide-reaching that it's just staggering to me.

One thing that I didn't really make clear, though: you'll note I'm not proposing bylaws or anything regarding this. A lot of this was an attempt to work through these issues for myself, to see what I'd think about them. I don't think that I really want to be saying that no one should be dating in their own grove. I think that what I really want to say is that it isn't something that would be good for me. When I examine this, I think that really, I'm just trying to work it out for myself. What fits with my ideas of how an SD should act.

Ain't nothin' saying that I should be imposing rules on other people.

(Hehe. Now I'm thinking about how I could go get on a high horse and try to pass a bylaw on the CoSD and be like the fundamentalist bastards passing gay marriage bans in state constitutions. And I've just realised that you should never ask a Discordian about his role models.)

we have a longtime attendee of Gaia Community who is *convinced* that all of the board members, ritual team members, and committee heads are sleeping together and form a secret cabal of Illuminati sexfiends who just won't sleep with her, damnit!

Is she hot? Because maybe that's the reason and she just needs to be told. . . unless you like the whole conspiracy that she's thought up. :)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:November 12th, 2004 04:42 pm (UTC)

Re: discordian fundies

Yeah, probably. I have a tendancy to do that on occasion. Sometimes, I forget that, despite not holding any big titles, I still have a pretty wide audience.

Thanks for pointing that out to me. Obviously, I don't think about it as much as I should.

Of course, I'm not sure that anyone who posts and talks as much as I do really does think about that as much as they should.

Self-reflection and realization of the effect of your words: a component of vision, one of those Virtues I like to talk up so much.

(And it's "Deputy Preceptor")

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