January 4th, 2005
|08:27 am - Tsunami, etc.|
I admit. Like fred_smith, I have trouble conceptualizing the Tsunami. I feel disconnected. Obviously, I'm supposed to feel something. Hell, everyone reading this journal seems to be sickened, saddened, or stupified by the thing. About the only "S" word I haven't seen is "sleezy". I think I'm happy that no one feels "sleezy" about the Tsunami.
I gave up worrying about it, though. I don't think it's a failing as a human being. I don't think I'm less of a person. Heck, I don't even think that I'm expected to feel bad about the whole thing.
Is it because I didn't lose a loved one? Is it because I have a really dark sense of humour? Is it because I still haven't mailed out Christmas cards? Is it because I secretly think that these people were dirty and unwashed and could use a good bath? Is it because I'm actually a Republican?
I don't think it's any of those reasons, but then, I'm not known for understanding things.
In the end, I tried to care. I really did. I looked at the pictures, watched the news, and whistled a low whistle at the numbers, shaking my head at the initial offer of $35M of aid. I had all the outward signs of a genuinely caring person. Yet try as I might to care, I failed miserably.
What was my first thought when I heard about the earthquake? "Isn't that near Krakatoa? I'd like to visit there someday." What about when I heard about the tidalwave? "Didn't they expect that?"
I'm sorry, my friends. I just don't feel it.
Think of me what you must.
Current Mood: Lookin' up.
Current Music: "Little Egypt", -JB
I guess I'm like you. I just can't internalize it. Intillectcually I understand it, I can even visualize the sequence of events from shifting rock to the wave hitting shore. But I don't FEEL it. I didn't FEEL 9/11 either. My sister on the other hand is the opposite. If homeless person gets hit in a dark alley in some remote part of the world she almost starts bleeding sympathetically. I"m not sure which of us has it better.
The whole thing is just so remote to me. I feel sorry for the victims, but there just isn't anything I can do about it.