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January 20th, 2005


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08:51 am - Hey, is that a rant?
I was doing fine when I got off work. I'd just finished a conversation with shizukagozen via email, and had driven back to my house.

It hit me in the driveway.

I was pissed.

And I knew exactly why.

I've been working hard for the past month, probably harder than I've ever worked before. I have various projects that I'm doing on top of the normal stuff. Here's a sampling:
  • I applied to Grad School, finally, fully.
  • I've been covered in work at my office, and I am currently busier than I that job has ever made me.
  • I sent out 73 (very late) christmas cards (up from 0 last year)
  • I've increased my work at the ADF Office
  • I've proofread two issues of Oak Leaves in 3 days
  • I have a couple of articles in progress for both ADF and PSA
  • I have my most elaborate, well-researched presentation ever for PSA, and I'm seeing Soggoths again because of it.
  • I need to re-write three different things
  • I'm behind on painting Tina's room
  • I'm counting on my tax return, but I can't get my W-2
  • Kori, of all people, has just strolled back into my life.
  • I'm sleeping three places most nights because. . .
  • I have five cats, four rats, 20 odd fishes, and fifty odd orchids demanding every waking second of my attention.
  • I haven't even looked at the Grove Organizer's Handbook yet, and that's way overdue
  • The hot tub needs a fresh filter and a water change
  • I ran out of clothes to wear and dishes to eat from
  • I realized that it was the cats who have used all the dishes and I have averaged one meal per day since Tina left
  • I was at work two extra hours last night to pick up some slack
  • I have a liturgy to proof before Friday
  • And I have managed to piss off nearly everyone I know at least once since December.

What's that? Sounds like I need to take a break? Not on your life!

Believe me or not (your choice), while it's been busy, it's also been exhilarating and fun. Plus, not everything above is necessarily "bad". Grad school, christmas cards, and Kori are all good things, and Oak Leaves and everything else I do for ADF and PSA is all one big barrel of monkeys. And we all know how much fun a barrel of monkeys is. Hell, even Soggoths are pretty darn cool.

So why the pissy mood? I narrowed it down to one thing in particular: someone told me to do her research for her.

Now, this, even, is not necessarily bad. I love doing research, and what's more is that I'll do it for any friend who asks. At the moment, in fact, I even have books on order for one friend who asked me very nicely. I have excellent access to some much-needed resources: I do work for a major university. Sometimes I can get things no one else can.

But this was different.

Instead of proving her case, she said, "You go, cite your source. Prove your side. I don't need to do the work." It was the air of superiority, the obvious talking-down that got to me.

She wasn't talking to me, of course, but it still felt demeaning. She was demanding citation more exact than any academic paper ever provides. It wasn't enough to be right. . . someone's nose had to be rubbed in the dogshit for her to finally be happy.

Do I know the answer to the question? Sure do. I could rattle it off at any time. In fact, I've known for years. Why not pipe up when the question was first presented? Because I had no source material. I do now.

But my lips are sealed. If you can't ask nicely, you can't ask at all. I've always really liked her, but even if she was right, she was dead wrong about the way she asked the question.

Sometimes I wonder: do people want friends, or do they want someone to hold them up to the light so that the world may revolve around them?

It's hard to piss me off, and it takes real work, but sometimes it happens. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm a bit busy.
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: "Tiki Bar", -JB
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(28 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:ravenlaughing
Date:January 20th, 2005 02:16 pm (UTC)
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Hmm, I think you're cool, and you haven't pissed me off at all.
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 20th, 2005 02:32 pm (UTC)
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Obviously, then, there is more work to be done :)
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 20th, 2005 02:44 pm (UTC)
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Hehe. Obviously, I need to find a way. Maybe we should have lunch again and I can inadvertantly insult your choice of lunch meat?
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 20th, 2005 02:57 pm (UTC)
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I can't do it today, but tomorrow I suppose I could. I don't have anything to eat here in the office, and I'm not going to go out and purchase anything as it is apparently "Not one damn dime day", and while I'm not terribly on board with the whole project, I'll do it because my friends seem to find it important.
(Deleted comment)
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 20th, 2005 03:09 pm (UTC)
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Apparently, it's today :) Because Bush is spending so much money on the inaguration, the idea started that people shouldn't spend any cash today in retaliation (though most call it "protest"). The idea seems to be that tanking the economy will help the cause. Or something like that.

I'm not totally sure what the reasoning is, obviously, but like I said, it seems important to my friends, so I'm on board that far.
(Deleted comment)
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From:smithing_chick
Date:January 20th, 2005 03:47 pm (UTC)
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You haven't pissed me off at all. I've felt slightly neglected, but only because I miss chatting with you. :)

I don't blame you for getting pissed at "More-Right-Than-Thou" chick, though. I certainly would be.
From:healing_coyote
Date:January 20th, 2005 05:16 pm (UTC)
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shit dude, that sucks. Although a schedule like that can be stressfull, it can also be exhilarating when you get it all done-- you'll feel like superman!

I know you have no time to talk on AIM, so I will think of a kick ass email to write you! :P
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 20th, 2005 05:43 pm (UTC)
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It better be sexy.
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From:romandruid
Date:January 20th, 2005 05:50 pm (UTC)
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The hot tub needs a fresh filter and a water change

If you still need help with it this weekend, let me know. I was up on Indianola looking at hottubs last Saturday, and I'll help change filter/clean/whatever, if you'll let me jump in for a while. :)
(At this rate, that may be the only what I'm going to get warm between now and April.)
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 20th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC)
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We'll see. It might just be too cold to do anything like that still. But that filter must get changed before I do anything.
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From:duriyah
Date:January 20th, 2005 05:55 pm (UTC)
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Poor Chronarchy! You sound waaaay too busy. My sympathies.

If it were me, I'd just ignore her rude ass. And her rude-ass question. I also would most likely decide that she's not really a friend, anyway, if she would talk to me like that. But that's just me :)

I'll add my name to the list of people you need to work harder to piss off. But it actually takes a lot to piss me off, and it's probably too much work to try ;)

Wishing you less stress!
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 20th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC)
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I have much to work on, I see. What fun :)
From:fred_smith
Date:January 20th, 2005 07:35 pm (UTC)
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Well, I haven't been pissed off by you yet. But I don't want to over-work you so if it helps I can spend tonight seething with resentment against you.
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 20th, 2005 08:12 pm (UTC)
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You do that. I'll apologize in the morning, I promise.
From:fred_smith
Date:January 20th, 2005 08:14 pm (UTC)
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Good. I'm glad we worked this one out.
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From:singingwren
Date:January 20th, 2005 09:16 pm (UTC)
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Were you angry on Tuesday? When you came into the room, it was like you brought storm clouds with you. I know that's a really hoky thing to say, but the look in your eyes immediately caught mine and I couldn't help but notice how ... I dunno, barely controlled you seemed. Even the way you handed people things looked like it was hiding violent annoyance. Towards the end you started talking and laughing more, and then seemed mostly cheered up, but I forgot to ask you if everything was going okay. Sorry... I got caught up in needing to go home and study and be a dork. >.<

Anyway, I know what you mean about the insanely busy thing. Well, I presume to -- I've never been in your exact situation before. If you're like me, then you probably are having a thrilling and breathless time right now, and only the occasional moments when you wish you could just slow down. But then, when you actually do slow down, you start to feel counterproductive and malcontent! I don't mean this is geared only towards working, either; in all spheres, social included, this seems to be the nature of the beast. Don't know what you to tell you, other than deep down you are probably building a lasting happiness this way, which means that times when you are pissed off are perfectly fine because very few things can shake the foundations of your accomplishments.

On a final note, I have a question for you to think about:

1) Barrels of monkeys are fun. And soggoths are allegedly cool. However, what are you feelings about a barrel of soggoths?

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From:chronarchy
Date:January 20th, 2005 09:27 pm (UTC)
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On Tuesday, no, I wasn't angry, actually. I was doing alright. I had other things on my mind, to be sure, namely my presentation for PSA in Feb, and the subject matter stopped being interesting very quickly for me, so I might have appeared distant as I was trying to piece together the workshop. Getting that done, and doing it right, is very important to me.

However, the Tuesday before I was pissed off only slightly less royally than I was last night when I wrote this post (it's actually a transcription of a paper post I wrote).

You and I are very alike in the department of being busy :)

Regarding barrels of soggoths. . . Am I in the barrel with them, or am I outside, snickering about how I've locked them in? Because I imagine two very different feelings there.
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From:aroonic
Date:January 20th, 2005 10:50 pm (UTC)
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I noted that anger the week before. I also understood where it was comeing from.

You know there are a great number of people you've yet to piss off. I for one and among that list. Great amused at times but never pissed.

This presentation is looking to be very....you.
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 21st, 2005 01:56 pm (UTC)
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*grins* I should hope it would be me :)

And it will, unless the Soggoths get me first.
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From:singingwren
Date:January 21st, 2005 12:50 am (UTC)
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I'm glad to know it was at least nothing too serious, then... not that your presentation is not serious and important to our group. In fact, now that I think about it, you ought to be worrying a lot harder, because guidelines for presentations are now a lot more severe! Did you make sure to read the constitution again? It looks like when you were updating your site you forgot to transcribe the most important and time-honored law of all:

SECTION X, CLAUSE 1, CONCERNING TENTACLES:

"...And every syxth worde shall be 'tentacles' or 'tentacle,' wyth the twelth being synonymous or hononymous as fytte, and the eigth an exclamationne of passionne to inspyre the infydels wyth your convyctionne. And in the dyscussionne of your subjeckt, let there be much interactionne and demonstrationne, for the knowledge of tentacles is best-loved whenne it can be used as a toole to avoide them."
From:anarchys_savior
Date:January 20th, 2005 09:34 pm (UTC)
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Sometimes I wonder: do people want friends, or do they want someone to hold them up to the light so that the world may revolve around them?

I found that quite humorous.
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 20th, 2005 09:46 pm (UTC)
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Thanks. It's an MJD original, though I admit it was inspired by the old joke:

Q: How many Cerimonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. They hold it up, and the world revolves around them.
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From:singingwren
Date:January 21st, 2005 12:53 am (UTC)

PS

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From:chronarchy
Date:January 21st, 2005 02:02 pm (UTC)

Re: PS

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Hehe. That was already going into my presentation, I just hadn't gotten around to getting the link yet :)

Thanks much for that :)
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From:nontacitare
Date:January 22nd, 2005 09:23 pm (UTC)
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You haven't pissed me off.

Your schedule does sound tough. Can you squeeze in time for just you?

Not knowing the particular situation of your rant, it does remind me of a debate I had with a certain fundamentalist atheist who shall remain nameless. I think I actually said somethng fairly similar to him. The way I see it, the burden of proof falls on the one trying to do the convincing. So if I'm trying to convince someone that magic exists, it's my responsibility to cite sources and offer proof. However, if I'm minding my own business and someone else comes to me to prove magic doesn't exist, and demands I show him why it does, then I might turn around and say that since he's the one trying to convert me, it's his responsibility to do the research.

Just another perspective. Hope I haven't pissed you off now. ;-)
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 23rd, 2005 12:57 am (UTC)
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There's nothing wrong with requesting a citation. There's a whole other thing when you say, "go do my research for me."

One cannot depend on other people to always prove their own side. You need to be willing to prove yours, too.

Regarding whose job it was to prove something to an atheist, well, you have to remember the athiest's claim: "you have to prove it so well that it's completely indisputable, and it has to take into account everything everyone ever said about this phenomenon. If it doesn't, then it's not acceptable." I personally think that's an unreasonable request. After all, people say things that make no sense, or that are burried in obscure sources that no one can prove or disprove without some real, serious work.

In the end, I had my computer do the requested research. It took my computer, searching about 100 PDF files, about an hour to complete. That didn't include half the books I own on the subject, which I have not even bothered to look through with more than a quick glance.

And then I did a google search and found the proof required for the other side in about 2 minutes.

You haven't pissed me off, but honestly, I still think the manner in which it was asked and the implication that she is planning to rub his nose in the information publicly is enough to turn my stomach.

"Cite sources, here are mine" is fine. "I'm not going to prove my side, you prove yours" is not.

Regarding time for me? That's lower on the piority scale than anything else at the moment. I stopped doing things for me years ago.
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From:nontacitare
Date:January 23rd, 2005 06:57 am (UTC)
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You haven't pissed me off, but honestly, I still think the manner in which it was asked and the implication that she is planning to rub his nose in the information publicly is enough to turn my stomach.

I wasn't privy to that discussion, but there is never a good reason to rub someone's nose in a mistake publicly. I just knew that the particular comment made sounded fairly close to something I said in a discussion about dowsing several years ago which you may remember. ;-)

Regarding time for me? That's lower on the piority scale than anything else at the moment. I stopped doing things for me years ago.

I've been there. For the sake of your sanity, you might want to make the time. (I speak from personal experience.)

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