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January 25th, 2005


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08:17 am - The Afterlife


But no doubt you are also curious about Eris. Where does she hang out these days - now that Olympus has gone tourist?

Eris Discordia is in Limbo, where all we virtuous pagans and our gods and goddesses go between lifetimes. Think of Key West in the off- season and you've got it.

Imagine an open-air bar at about ten in the morning. An aging barefoot Greek beauty with an Art Garfunkel hairdo is giving Zeus, the bartender, a hard time with a barbed wit that always leaves him bereft of any retort besides an extended middle finger.

Another attraction of Limbo is a nonstop party for the faithful, but Zeus has child support bills and Eris never was much of a party animal, contrary to popular belief.

Nor will you find any SubGenii at that party, or anywhere else in Limbo. With bikers and Nazis - if they were good Nazis - skinheads and pillars of the Church of the SubGenius go to Valhalla.

Bad people of every persuasion go to the Region of Thud.

A sprawling astral subdivision where there is nothing to do but eat and watch television and where all the houses, yards and people look pretty much alike, Thud keeps up with the Jonses. Most Christians are there, but in their creed it is called Paradise.

Only souls who, in the eyes of Eris, went out of their way to be a pain in the ass during their earthly sojourns are in Hell. Harry J. Aslinger qualifies. But still, the perils of Hell are exaggerated. Fire and brimstone are sources of heating during cold snaps, but our human rights group, Amnesty Interfactional, reports that nothing in Hell is any worse than the hideous shade of pink on its walls.

There are also such things as Nirvana - an exclusive resort for extinguished Zen Masters - and the Happy Hunting Grounds, where traditional Native American braves and warriors are the forest rangers. Dead cops (and Gurdjieffians who forgot to remember themselves) go to the Moon, a big precinct station in the sky, controlled by space aliens, where there are twice as many laws as here - converted to its present use from what was originally a slain space monster's hollow titanium skill.
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "Defying Gravity", -JB

(11 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:fred_smith
Date:January 25th, 2005 01:38 pm (UTC)
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Hail Eris!

Although, personally, I'm still hoping to go to the Big Grubby Sofa in the Sky. No idea why. I hear its quite grubby, really. But, they have all the digital channels. Thats always good.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:January 25th, 2005 01:58 pm (UTC)
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Ooh, digital? Mind if I join you? I'll bring the snacks.
From:fred_smith
Date:January 25th, 2005 02:01 pm (UTC)
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Sure. It'll be great. Hopefully they'll have set up a DVD player by then, too. Death is going to be great.
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From:romandruid
Date:January 25th, 2005 02:22 pm (UTC)
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An aging barefoot Greek beauty with an Art Garfunkel hairdo...

You must be privileged to get such a good look. I'm always too busy ducking and cringing to see what She looks like...
[User Picture]
From:roc441
Date:January 25th, 2005 03:44 pm (UTC)
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hee, its like jimmy buffet meets a world religion class. Made my day.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:January 25th, 2005 03:53 pm (UTC)
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Ha. Yes, you'd think I had a hand in writing that, wouldn't you? But no. . . It's all Discordian catma. :)
From:anarchys_savior
Date:January 25th, 2005 09:05 pm (UTC)
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Most Christians are there, but in their creed it is called Paradise.

Hahahah...
[User Picture]
From:rfunk
Date:January 26th, 2005 02:06 am (UTC)

Pink Principia

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So are you saying my Principia isn't a Principia?
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:January 26th, 2005 03:39 am (UTC)

Re: Pink Principia

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Another Discordian said it. It must be true.
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:January 26th, 2005 05:07 am (UTC)
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Hahaha, that's great. Incredibly so.
Sucks to be Christian, yes?
[User Picture]
From:kallisti
Date:January 26th, 2005 05:33 am (UTC)

Ah, you Erisian Younglings.

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The Illuminet Press editiong (aka the Pink Principia) is an new comer on the scene. THe first edition, of course, was the photocopied version. It was Loomponics that has kept the Principia (aka the Gold Principia) in print since the 1970s, and thus is the ONE TRUE MASSMARKET EDITION!

Of course, the Black Principia (Steve Jackson Games) is cool, and the hardcover limited edition was nice...but now hard to get. Of, there is the famous Red & White edition, aka the "Principia Discordia Canadiana, eh?" that is very very hard to find...but that's O.K, since it was never published.

I just checked on Amazon to see what the current status is...the Pink Principia is going for $145 USD! at the moment, used. The Black Principia is going for $8.96 USD, and the Gold Principia is still $7.50 USD. I found it funny that the following appeared further down the page for the Gold Principia:

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They oviously didn't read the warning on the cover Red & White edition that says not to mix Drugs and Eris without the supervision of a consulting Guru? Like the say, RTFM!!!!

ttyl

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