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Nightmares that carry us places will never be smooth rides. . . - Chronarchy — LiveJournal

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Ár nDraíocht Féin
Three Cranes
Chaos Matrix

February 22nd, 2005

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07:06 pm - Nightmares that carry us places will never be smooth rides. . .
Last night, I had a terrible nightmare.

It began with Germans walking into my house. The grabbed me and shoved me out the door. They pushed me into the back of a truck with 30 or 40 other men. We rode for a while until we came to the train station.

There, we were pulled out of the truck. One man moved too slowly and was shot. I didn't react, but just kept moving. We were hearded into cattle-cars.

We rode the train for a while. There were things in the shadows. . . Things I knew were men once, but not any longer. They had long fingers, and eyes that flashed in the darkness. They were snarly creatures. Angry. Hungry.

The sun went down as we rode, and the things came out of the corners and began ripping through the others, feasting as they went, the victims screaming. I wasn't so frightened by the creatures as I was disgusted that they fed without eating the entire man, but left parts uneaten. Then I was frightened, because I knew that I was now feeling that hunger. . . that I was becoming like them.

Before they reached me, though, the cars stopped. The things retreated to the corners, and the screams died down. We were more interested in where we were going than the things that would eat us.

I recognized the things before me: this was a concentration camp.

The chimneys rose before me, the sky blackened with smoke, and the snow of ash tumbling down. On either side of the railroad were razor wire fences, and armed guards with dogs walked back and forth. I could see the disturbed ground outside the fence and realized it must house land mines that had just been planted.

Herded off the cattle-cars, we stood in a mass. I shrank toward the back of the crowd. Two lines were formed. I did my best to look strong and yet cowed, and was shuffled to a line where I could do nothing but watch the other line march toward the chimneys.

I was shown a bunk, and stayed there. I slept cold that night.

Time passed. I recall long lines for food, and hunger. I recall working and the feeling of my stomach devouring itself. I recall chasing rats and spiders for food, and not caring if they were diseased. I recall painful stomach cramps and leaving a man to die who was coughing one night and silent the next morning.

Somehow, I don't know how, I escaped. I ran across fields, dressed in rags and barefoot. My feet were punctured by sticks and thorns, and I could hear dogs in the distance. The moon was full, and I cursed it as I ran. I jumped into a lake, swimming for a small island in the center, but my strenght gave out and I had to go back to the shore.

The dogs were closer, and I could feel their lust for blood.

I ran again, and found a barn. I ran into it and found a horse. The horse could smell me, and kicked. He missed, but not by much. I panicked and ran again, out into that cursed moonlight. I was tired.

I could hear the dogs run now, not only their barks. I was imagining the feel of their breath. Was there anywhere else to go? Anything else I could do?

Finally, I collapsed, vomiting on the ground. As there was nothing in my stomach, it was blood and bile that came forth. I saw this and vomited again, disgusted.

A light hit me in the face, and a growl came from my left.

And I awoke, a free man.
Current Mood: quixoticquixotic
Current Music: "Everlasting Moon", -JB

(11 comments Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 12:27 am (UTC)
[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC)
Yes. "Freaky" is the word I first used. :)
[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 07:24 am (UTC)
Didn't we tell you to lay off the chili dogs before bedtime?
[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC)
I must have missed that. . . I suppose this would be Eris punishing me for eating hotdog buns on a non-Friday.
[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 12:57 pm (UTC)
Brr. I hate dreams when you feel everything -- that whole no pain in dreams thing is such a lie. >.<

Do you know what triggered that, or do you not want to think about it?
[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 01:10 pm (UTC)
After a perfectly good day (hell, I even had lunch with arguably two of the hottest women on my friend's list, healing_coyote and mmefrufru), there is nothing that should have sparked that.

One could, I suppose, argue "past life experiences", but I've never been convinced those exist.

Hell, I don't even much care for literature on the Holocaust, so I haven't read much outside of Night and A Blessing on the Moon, so it's not that. I read those years ago, and it's been a while since I've seen anything about WWII, not to mention the holocaust in particular.

So, no. No idea :)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 02:31 pm (UTC)
Well, that would have been last night yesterday, so I suppose it could have corresponded with the quake in Iran. . . If I was able to believe that dreams correspond with anything :)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 02:46 pm (UTC)
Honestly, I tend to believe they have no meaning at all. I find interpretations of dreams interesting because they tell you a whole lot about the person who is interpreting the dream, but metaphor is almost always lost on me. I'm a very, very concrete thinker.

Unless there's something specific, like if someone has a fight with his girlfriend and then dreams about fighting with his girlfriend, then I would be all about a connection like that. But there was nothing to prompt this dream in my life, and I don't believe that anything outside of me can prompt a dream when I'm asleep, other than perhaps someone whispering in my ear if I'm semi-conscious.

I can't wrap my mind around an earthquake in Iran that wasn't reported until the next morning causing me to have a bad dream. While not impossible, it seems that the improbability index is quite high on that one. I suspect that I would need to be actively searching for stuff like that with a chaos working for me to pick up anything like that and have it translate into a dream.

Dreams, in my reality, just happen. Theyr'e not connected to anything else.

This particular theory probably is influenced by the years in which I didn't have a single dream (that I could recall). Dreams are a very, very recent thing, and generally correspond to the occasional chaos working in this reality :)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC)
Yeah, pretty much. If I were to blame it on anything, it would be the general pessimism that Pagans have toward the world today. They keep talking in terms of "bad feelings" and "something's coming". . . and then when something does (as is inevitable with the way Earth works), they point and say, "Ah-hah!"

In other words, the best thing about an asteroid completely destroying the earth is that I wouldn't have to hear all the "great seer" wannabes say, "I knew something was coming! Didn't I tell you?" when really, they saw nothing of the sort.

Now, if they were out there building space ships, then might believe 'em :)

It's the same with the news media. Compare the number of positive stories to negative stories on the news. We're blind to the good things that happen, and generic feelings of ill-omen are thus more likely to be "right" than feelings of positive happiness.

Besides, dreams where everything is light and love don't get posted to LJ as often. We're a community of whiners and self-pitiers. If we all had happy dreams, I'm willing to wager that at least 75% of the people on LJ wouldn't write those up at all :)
[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 04:01 pm (UTC)
You're not really a Druid, you know. You're a secular humanist asshole in disguise.

[User Picture]
Date:February 23rd, 2005 04:09 pm (UTC)
Hot damn! Always wanted to be one of those, so I could declare that God doesn't exist and then, in the dark night when I need Him, I could turn to Him and pray with such fervrent reverence that no man has ever seen, and deny him thrice in the morning.

Hot damn!

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