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De Natura Sandwichii - Chronarchy

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February 28th, 2005


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05:05 pm - De Natura Sandwichii
Sandwiches, by their nature, are simply bread and filling. But what turns the bread and filling into a sandwich?

Is it merely a pair of bread slices with something in between it? Indeed, is a pair even what is required?

If a sandwich must be a pair of bread slices, then where does that leave submarine sandwiches? And if we count subs as sandwiches, then is a hotdog a sandwich?

I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes, Heinz 57 and french-fried potatoes. . .


And what of open-faced sandwiches? Can a single slice of bread with some random "filling" truly be considered a sandwich? Is the open-faced sandwich an abomination before God?

We are also forced to face the ugly reality of the "fad-diet" sandwich. How can anyone discuss sandwiches without bread? Yet menues across the nation advertise such "healthy" alternatives! There is a special place in hell reserved for mister Adkins, I am sure. This sin of removing bread from sandwiches must rank up there with fence-sitters and flatterers, if not higher.

But if there can be a sandwich without bread, then can there not be a bread replacement? It has been suggested that one could easily make such things as a "supermodel sandwich", if one were to obtain the correct filling. If someone can provide the models, I will sacrifice myself for the good of science and become the filling.

There is a certain zen about spreading mayo or butter or jelly over bread. In placing the meat and the cheese just so, we find our own center. Adding just the right amount of mustard or lettuce, or slicing a tomato just right can lead us to a spiritual place.

Embrace the sandwich. . . Each one is a new and different experience, and each should be approached with reverance and respect. No matter whether it's roasted, toasted, or grilled, or simply plain, there is much to be said for a sandwich.
Current Mood: enthralled
Current Music: "Cheeseburger in Paradise", -JB

(37 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


(Deleted comment)
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From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2005 10:53 pm (UTC)
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Excellent. Take care with it. It is a very important undertaking!
From:shizukagozen
Date:February 28th, 2005 10:38 pm (UTC)
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Submarine sandwich? No, they're called grinders... or hoagies... hehe. ;)
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From:mayden_dor
Date:February 28th, 2005 10:43 pm (UTC)
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or po-boys, where i come from
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From:mayden_dor
Date:February 28th, 2005 10:42 pm (UTC)
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a uniquely (english speaking peoples) phenominon
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From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2005 10:46 pm (UTC)
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I should try to make an argument that sandwiches should be included in all ADF rites because they're a uniquely IE food item. Which they are. But the people who had a fit over the American Kin would probably have a fit over that. :)
From:fred_smith
Date:February 28th, 2005 10:43 pm (UTC)
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I think you got it right. One can have a sandwich with just one piece of bread. A sandwich can be anything! The only limits is your imagination. The most important thing is to treat sandwiches with respect, reverence, and to enjoy them.

Sandwiches are a lot like life. In fact. Sandwiches are life.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:February 28th, 2005 10:47 pm (UTC)
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Excellent! I'm glad I got it right. And they are much like life: you can pile all sorts of crap on them in many combinations. Sometimes those combinations work out, and sometimes you take one bite, look at it, and say, "Damn, what the hell was I thinking?"
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From:gypsydove
Date:February 28th, 2005 11:11 pm (UTC)
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and somtimes the sandwich just falls apart...

much like life...

From:fred_smith
Date:February 28th, 2005 11:27 pm (UTC)
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Wow. Pessimism. Excellent!
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From:rfunk
Date:February 28th, 2005 11:43 pm (UTC)

makin' sammiches

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1. Yes, an "open-faced sandwich" IS an abomination, before somebody anyway.
2. Yes, Atkins "sandwiches" are also abominations, along with everything else related to the Atkins diet.
3. Both subs (or whatever you call them locally) and hot dogs (in the bun) are sandwiches.
4. Speaking of which... Subway's old U-cut was better than their new slit-cut.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:March 1st, 2005 01:27 pm (UTC)

Re: makin' sammiches

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I'd have to generally say, "Yes"
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From:singingwren
Date:March 1st, 2005 01:14 am (UTC)
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Does that mean that if I were to fold my hands around a cookie and eat it from between my fingers that that would be a sandwich? This goes back to the fundamental question -- what is the limit of sandwich? Does it have to be primarily food? I do not eat my hand, but the food is "sandwiched" in it just the same... have we as a culture begun to use this word to casually?

And how do you feel about icecream sandwiches? Sandwich cookies (like Oreos)? I'm also found of sandwiches, which do not in fact involve eating at all (except in cases of perverse fertility.) In that case, there is neither bread NOR food nor even convenience. Can we still call it a sandwich then?

Ah, the complexities of dinner!
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From:singingwren
Date:March 1st, 2005 01:15 am (UTC)
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"I'm also found of [namegoeshere] sandwiches" is what that was meant to read... the < >'s dissappeared. You know, as in people hug you and make a Mike Sandwich. Is that honorary?
From:bloodlikerain
Date:March 1st, 2005 05:07 am (UTC)

it's spelled and PRONOUNCED

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Sang-witch.

don't argue.

i'm right.

and i am a Goddess, after all, i fix dsl every day.....and i'm about to rain down some smite.....
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From:chronarchy
Date:March 1st, 2005 01:31 pm (UTC)
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Argue? I never argue.
From:healing_coyote
Date:March 1st, 2005 06:40 pm (UTC)
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my gods, that was probably the best debate I have read in over a month. I am making this a memorable entry, just because of the wacky comments!

And has anyone looked at the precise entomology of the word? Was there ever a "sand witch"? Did she make yummy lunches out of little children, or feed them to her lovers? Or maybe it's all a big joke, and the sandwiches we eat actually have sand in them, ruining our digestive system and killing the human race oh-so-slowly?
[User Picture]
From:dmartin
Date:March 2nd, 2005 04:31 pm (UTC)

A Conversation...

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A: She knows too much.

B: Yes. We should deal with her.

A: Yes. In a *sinister* way - muahhahahahah!

B: Feh. Too lazy tonight. Maybe later...

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