March 11th, 2005
|09:04 am - Shirts, an old Ardbard, and something unfinished.|
If you'll recall, a little over a year ago, I was in an argument with someone that basically revolved around me being told I was "too young to write chants".
(Here's the post)
Well, the person who I was responding to had held power over me: I refused to name them, simply because they asked me not to.
So I began thinking about ways to get that back. Not in a spiteful way where I'd go and poke fun at her (though I admit I almost posted an entry that did that), but rather by getting that conversation out to a wider audience.
So I made some shirts using my Cafe Press site.
The first shirt is a handy reference to who is allowed to chant. (zoom to graphic)
The second shirt is the basic conversation we had via email with quotes lifted directly from the emails. (zoom to graphic)
There's no danger of this person doing this again to another ADF member. She quit the organization when she didn't get her way, citing "questionable actions" (no word on whether she thought her own actions were "questionable", but I assure you that I thought they were).
Like I said, I'm not doing this to get back at her, I'm doing this because I want something back that she took away. She made me afraid, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let the bitch do that to me any more.
Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: "It's My Job", -JB
It was bothering me a lot last night for some reason. I'm not at all sure why. In the end, I had to write it in order to get it out.
It felt like something that I had to get out. It felt like it was festering.
My initial reaction to her contacting me was not the ease I'd like to think it was. I did what I'm good at: I fell back to a rational, unemotional response.
The reaction was really, "Oh damn. I've pissed off the chief bard of ADF and three (unnamed) ranked bards, and now I have to defend my actions." And I didn't know how to do it. And I was scared. Partly because she pulled rank. Partly because at the time I was maybe a bit worried. Partly because even though I knew for a fact that I was writing something that could achieve the same aim as anything she'd ever written, I was going to have to prove that.
I didn't name her initially because I was scared. And that's what nagged at me.
you're still bringing it up long past the time when she ceased to have relevance to anyone but you
Well, I write things on LJ that have relevance to me, regardless of their relevance to others. I did, however, tone it down a lot from the original thing I wrote last night, simply because I know so many people read this thing. I still have it copied here, though, because it makes me feel really, really good to read it. But that post was petty. It was a kid shouting insults and throwing a fit.
This one is closer to good, clean purging (though I'm willing to wager it isn't perfect, and you're probably right about the perception).
And with the writing of this thing (and the responses to various replies above), I think I've blown myself out about it, though. It's gone back to being amusing, not hurtful. I'll still snicker and tell people that "I'm too young to write chants," I'm sure.