October 13th, 2005

surya

Pizza, Night, and a Wink

On my way into work one morning, I was sitting at the stoplight at Neil and Lane Avenues. I looked out of my window, off to the north east corner, and through the window to Tommy's Pizza.

Sitting there, at the corner table, was a beautiful woman. Light was in her eyes, but her hair was black and smooth. She was not young, but neither was she old; ageless was her age. There was laughter about her, but her manner hid it. She sat, leaning forward, gazing out the window and smiling at me.

I knew her, an old friend. Her name resonated in my mind.

Nyx.

Night. Daughter of Chaos, mother of Eris.

I watched her watch me, as she sat at the table in Tommy's. Her eyes twinkled, never leaving mine. Her long-fingered hands reached out, wrapping around a glass of Coke and brought the straw to her full, red lips. I caught a wink as she sipped, and watched her replace the glass on the table. The corners of her mouth twitched in a smile, and I watched her bring a slice of pizza to her mouth. Her eyes closed in pleasure as she savoured the taste, and the satisfied smile that graced her lips was remarkably seductive.

One more wink, and my light turned green. She was gone.
surya

On my first night in front of my altar since Summerland

10/09/05

You never look at me with disapproval.
You are always here.
The warmth of your candle (kindled by me) warms my heart (kindled by you).
I stand straight again, my spine the tree.
Cernunnos flickers with urgent passion.
The Matres cry out, a sudden whoop.
Taranis turns toward me.
The well resonates within me.
The smell of fire fills my senses.
Epona hushes my apology
Sequina smiles sweetly.
Eris hovers in the shadows.
Brigando is stoic.
Esus welcomes me back.
I stand before my altar, unused, unlit for so long.
You welcome me as if I never left.
Thank you.

===

It amazes me what faith can do.

My altar, now lit, reminds me of why I'm here, who I love, how I am loved in return. There is so much, such great wonder and beauty.

It is almost overwhelming.
Yet it is not.
It is right.

I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor. I can't even see most of my altar from here, but that doesn't matter. I can see the illumination from the candles, the top of the statues, and the world tree rising from the altar.

I am connected. I am solid.

I have faith.

===

I feel:
    Deep love.
    Peace.
    Simplicity.
    Right.
    Certain.
    Welcome.
    Alive.
    Connected.
    Bound by family.
    At home.
    Deep.
    High.
    Solid.
    Free.

    All is right, nothing matters.

I place my finger in the well. I feel its depths.

I place my hand above the flame. I feel its rising height.

I place my hand upon the tree. It all meets within.

"So are you now the world tree, the axis of all the worlds."