June 13th, 2006

surya

Baseball as a metaphor

I am not a big fan of baseball, itself. Sure, I'm a White Sox fan, but that's mostly because of an English teacher I had who didn't like the Cubs, and the fact that my bro, red_sput was a Cubs fan, so it was fun to razz him (I have since learned, however, that this is unfair: Cubs fans have suffered enough).

Despite this, I use baseball metaphors a lot, particularly in terms of relationships. One of the most common ones (that, surprisingly, I don't often use) is the "base" system of dating that we all learned in middle school. What I want to know, though, is how you learned it.

Poll #747189 Poll 17: Rounding the Bases

First Base is:

telling someone you like them
1(1.6%)
going on a date
0(0.0%)
holding hands
7(11.3%)
kissing
54(87.1%)
other (see comments)
0(0.0%)

Second Base is:

holding hands
1(1.6%)
kissing
1(1.6%)
french kissing
5(8.2%)
"making out"
22(36.1%)
hands outside clothing
9(14.8%)
hands inside clothing
22(36.1%)
other (see comments)
1(1.6%)

Short Stop is:

huh? there is no short stop!
43(72.9%)
hands outside the clothing
4(6.8%)
hands inside the clothing
5(8.5%)
touching sexual organs
5(8.5%)
other (see comments)
2(3.4%)

Third Base is:

hands inside clothing
12(19.7%)
touching sexual organs
15(24.6%)
extensive/prolonged touching of sexual organs
13(21.3%)
Touching leading to orgasm
3(4.9%)
oral sex
11(18.0%)
oral sex to orgasm
5(8.2%)
anal sex
1(1.6%)
other (see comments)
1(1.6%)

A Home Run is:

oral sex
0(0.0%)
oral sex to orgasm
1(1.6%)
anal sex
0(0.0%)
sexual intercourse
60(96.8%)
other (see comments)
1(1.6%)

Perhaps it is the way Americans are brought up to admire baseball as the "national pastime", or perhaps it's merely this idea that how far you go on a date is measured in "bases", but I do tend to use baseball metaphors to describe relationship issues. More on that later, I imagine.

All your base, of course, are belong to us.