March 16th, 2005
|06:00 pm - I know some of you are/have been Clergy. . .|
Got home, and remembered I wanted to ask a question:
For those who feel they're pre-disposed to clergy**, what should I be looking for to tell me I am?
I've got the idea that I should be looking for a calling. . . a vocation if you will. Can anyone describe that? Or point me to a good book that does? (And no, I'm definitely not opposed to reading books about Christian "vocations".)
Because damnit, I'm confused. It's official. And it bothers me that I can't figure it out.
** - note: I don't mean necessarily ordained clergy: self-styled clergy works just fine for me. I've been trying for over 7 months to figure this thing out.
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: "Last Mango in Paris", -JB
My personal opinion is that you are actively "looking for" a calling, then its probably not a real "calling." It's something else (a predisposition, a self-delusion, a means to an end, an interest, a hobby, a ... whatever). I have always been uncomfortable with leadership positions. Some elders say that this makes me the right sort to be a leader. I say it just makes me ... uncomfortable. I tend to look up most to those leaders who don't get off on being leaders...the reluctant ones, the humble ones, the ones who do the job because it needs doing, then get the hell out of the spotlight so that they can get back to being regular folks. I'm rambling, so I guess I'll stop now. Good luck on your quest/hunt/search.
I, too, am rather uncomfortable with leadership, in most cases. Until I started working as ADF's deputy preceptor, I had one leadership postition in ADF: Senior Druid. I took that because Columbus needed a Grove, and I thought about it very hard for a long time, built up ritual experience with 6th Night
. I've refused leadership positions in the past, even though they're available to me, especially in ADF. I just can't ever help but think there's someone better for that position than me.
Like you, I don't need the leadership position to justify my existance. Having a position doesn't mean squat to the Gods: it's competence and scincerity that mean something there.
Mostly, I don't think I'd know that "vocation" if it came up and kicked me in the ass, and I need to know if there's something that I should be able to see/hear/feel/touch that'll give it away. So it doesn't matter how many rocks I look under, I've probably seen a sure sign one way or the other and just haven't recognized it.