July 7th, 2008


Jimmy Buffett, on World Peace

A lot of people like to post lyrics to songs. I can't read them very well (long story, having to do with blunt-force trauma to the head), so I generally skip them.

As I was listening to the music today, though, an old Buffett piece came up. It's called "Today's Message," and you can find it on Feeding Frenzy. It's done, of course, in a sermon-style (with backups and the audience singing "hallelujah's" and "amen's" in the background). For reference, this album was released in 1990, so that gives some historical perspective. Here's my favourite section:
"And world peace? I've got an answer for world peace. We take the money that it'd cost us to build just one B-1 bomber, you know that one that doesn't work? We change it into five dollar bills. We put all of this money into bags and we fly over the Atlantic Ocean, past Europe (because they're getting their shit together anyway). We drop this money on the Russian people. All those little tiny pictures of Abraham Lincoln come tumblin' down out of the sky.

I want them to feel those sawbucks in their hands. You know how your money feels when you accidentally leave it in your blue jeans and you take it out and it's all warm and soft, oooh!

Well we let those Russian people hang on to that money for about a week and then we fly back over there. We fill our airplanes full of mail order catalogs from L.L. Bean. From up in Columbus, Sporty's Pilot Shop. And Victoria's Secret!

The Russian people have this money in their hand, the catalogs come down. They look at those pictures on the opening pages of the Victoria's Secret catalog. (Not back in the outdoor section: you know what I'm talking about, right?)

They got the money, they got the catalogs: they're going to get the idea. They send all the money back to us to buy the stuff. We have full employment. There's world peace, and the Russians have crotch-less underwear through the twenty-first century!"