August 30th, 2005
|08:41 am - A long Summerland review|
The weekend started well. I packed up on Wednesday night, preparing to head out immediately after work on Thursday. I dropped by Fly-By-Night on Thursday to pick up Psyche's stuff to help her transport her shop for the weekend.
Once most things were together, I headed to Yellow Springs to go take care of getting setup in preparation for picking up healing_coyote at the Dayton airport. I set up the tent and prepared some sleeping arrangements. I checked with 6th Night to see if they needed any help, found that they didn't, and sat down with druidkirk and Skip and selenetawny and Orion and everyone else.
Skip showed me a copy of his new book, The Solitary Druid, and pointed out a particular item of interest: I'm listed in the acknowledgements. It's just my first name, so almost no one is going to know, but I will, and that's what's important to me.
( Picking up Monika, and the first nightCollapse )
( The morning afterCollapse )
( The afternoon on FridayCollapse )
( A strange business meeting, and a gameCollapse )
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Miss You So Badly", -JB
Oh....oh. I had no idea. Now I'm glad I wasn't present for the debauchery. Not only was it not my style (bondage doesn't do anything for me either), but it was also not cool
What I expected you had undergone was a very light, flirty, humorous bit of play (I imagine you may have expected the same thing, beforehand); but it seems what you got was something unpleasant and violating.
I want to say that I admire your candor in exploring and expressing all this: the events themselves, your feelings, your perceptions of your culpability, the refining of your personal boundaries in this new stage of your life.
Ever the sensual epicure, _boy_
pointed out (apropos of spin the bottle, while we were sitting at the table near you during the bardic circle) that the problem with it is, you have to kiss people you don't want to kiss. And what's the fun in that?
Missed you during the dancing. That's one of my best and clearest memories from my very first Summerland: you leaping around joyfully to Fannigan's Isle.
Despite awkwarness and nipple biting (way out of line) it does sound like a truly amazing festival and you've given me another score of reasons to get my ass out there again. I want to play spin the bottle (maybe with a smaller group of people, non?) and dance drunkenly with hottie druids. And cuddling, oh that sounds better than anything else.
By the way, it's interesting to hear you say you have a low sex drive. I can believe it, but by the amount that you flirt I wouldn't have ever initially thought it.
I feel very sorry that you didn't tell us how uncomfortable you were. Actually, sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. I feel like I violated you & betrayed our friendship, particularly as I believe I was the one who suggested it was your turn. Whether you blame me or not, I see what role I played. I'm a bit sick about it.
The only issue I had with it was that it wasn't a turn-on. I didn't feel uncomfortable at all & I rather enjoyed having a bunch of folks kissing me all at once. At the same time, I know that had I been uncomfortable, I would have just said stop. Having been in some truly horrible situations in which I was forced to do things against my will, I don't tolerate it now. (Even told the HPS & HP at my Gardenrian Second Degree Elevation to stop part of the rite when it was causing me problems, which they did). Not everyone's such a bigmouth, though. :-P
As for dancing... any time I looked for you to ask you to dance, I couldn't see you anywhere. When I did see you, you didn't seem to be in a dancing mood at all. That's how I ended up dancing with Aaron.
I had a feeling you were missing Tina on Saturday night. Said as much to healing_coyote
at one point. It takes a long time to get over someone you'd loved for a long time.
I agree that this write-up makes me sick to my stomach for many reasons...
|Date:||August 31st, 2005 03:19 am (UTC)|| |
As usual, another very thoughtful and insightful post. I'm rather jealous :)
Saturday night reminded me, in retrospect, of my Grove's big Grope when contacting Aren, our God of Love and Freedom. There were no real preparations or safewords or rules made. I wasn't there, but I heard that parts were nice, but others were quite icky.
Like so many others, I realized that something was going on with you and I thought about asking you quietly and alone about it. Seeing as I was an outsider of your Grove you might be open to discussion. But I sensed that you wanted to be alone. I've been there myself.
Don't blame yourself for what happened on Saturday. I think it was a subtle thing and hard to judge. Lessons learned, etc.
But I wanted you to know that you didn't look like an idiot dancing. At least no more than any one else. I did recognize your dilemma and thought you handled yourself well. She had a good time. It was cute and made you look gallant.
Finally... Little Green Frog! I'm glad to see that you heeded my earlier warning at Wellspring and acted accordingly. The life you saved was more than your own.
It was a great festival.
|Date:||August 31st, 2005 06:58 pm (UTC)|| |
It seems to me we have a few things to talk about. Or at least a few things I would like to say to you in a more private manner.
I did get Saturday off so I will be able to go to Summerset. Still willing to pick me up?