September 22nd, 2005
|10:37 am - Lifting Up the Shards|
I've come up with something, a chaos working to deal with certain things in my life.
The problem is, as I plan it, it's becoming more and more clear just how dangerous it is to me personally, and my mental health in particular.
While I admit that it's quite terrifying to think about the implications of it, the possibilities and potential for growth are simply amazing.
The issue, of course, is method. How do I get where I need to go? TOPY would tell me the obvious: "See a cliff, jump off."
There is a lot of work left to do before I decide if this is something I can do, or even need to do.
I promise: there are no tentacles involved. Well, I can't say that there won't be, but I'm certainly not planning any. This is a totally different paradigm.
On a side note, I had an encounter with Eris' mother the other day, and I have a new presentation in the works for PSA or an ADF festival.
What should be my single most central concern?
Making sure the shit don't spatter on others
Containment: CM workings should only affect the Chaote.
Jumping off the cliff.
Doing what needs to be done.
Getting back what has been lost.
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: "Burn That Bridge", -JB
Ah, but this chaos working is all about that which is lost.
However, life does sometimes work that way. Sometimes, we get lost, and we just need to find our way out.
But this is also about finding things that should have been part of me a long time ago, and are terribly lost. It's difficult to explain, I suppose.
If it helps any, this whole working is based off the life of a Manic-Depressive, failed Messiah.