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Ár nDraíocht Féin
Three Cranes
Chaos Matrix

September 22nd, 2005

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10:37 am - Lifting Up the Shards
I've come up with something, a chaos working to deal with certain things in my life.

The problem is, as I plan it, it's becoming more and more clear just how dangerous it is to me personally, and my mental health in particular.

While I admit that it's quite terrifying to think about the implications of it, the possibilities and potential for growth are simply amazing.

The issue, of course, is method. How do I get where I need to go? TOPY would tell me the obvious: "See a cliff, jump off."

There is a lot of work left to do before I decide if this is something I can do, or even need to do.

I promise: there are no tentacles involved. Well, I can't say that there won't be, but I'm certainly not planning any. This is a totally different paradigm.

On a side note, I had an encounter with Eris' mother the other day, and I have a new presentation in the works for PSA or an ADF festival.

Poll #575329 Poll 9: Directions

What should be my single most central concern?

Personal growth
Making sure the shit don't spatter on others
Personal safety.
Avoiding tentacles
Containment: CM workings should only affect the Chaote.
Jumping off the cliff.
Personal sanity.
Doing what needs to be done.
Getting back what has been lost.

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: "Burn That Bridge", -JB

(29 comments Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:September 22nd, 2005 08:39 pm (UTC)
Haha, good luck explaining it without sounding either cracked out, fluffy, or too smart for us. But then, you've done some pretty funky stuff in the past, so I'm sure people will be able to figure it out.

And I don't know what to tell you about the difficulty... there will be lots. And if you don't know how to swim in it already, you'll either have to learn or drown.

Like that would stop you.

Maybe you should share your control with a deity, guide, person, etc, over what should fall and what should remain in the light?
[User Picture]
Date:September 22nd, 2005 08:45 pm (UTC)
I don't know if I can do this and be Pagan at the time. That's another issue. So it's entirely possible that I won't have any Patrons with me.

Though it's an issue I'll avoid if it's possible.
[User Picture]
Date:September 22nd, 2005 09:12 pm (UTC)
I realize the paradigm isn't pagan, so I wasn't implying a pagan god. I mean, the Morrigan is good for things like that (but you don't like her :P) and as far as actual judgment calls I could see Esus being extremely comforting and helpful, but I meant more of some other form of spirit that would fit that paradigm, like Yawheh (or IAO, because I'm a fan...?) After all, man was not in charge of those decisions to begin with. God knew what was bad and what was good.

The question is, how deeply do you trust the entities you work with in other paradigms? I'd say you'd need to trust in him completely in order for his choices to carry any weight, but then, once you step OUT Of that paradigm, any changes made will remain, so you have to trust that they will be good ones even outside that paradigm. Which is tricky-ass business.

Maybe you should just sacrifice a white cock raised by a first-born black mule who ate nothing but candied scarabs all its life and pour oil on a young virgin boy beforehand, just in case. :P
[User Picture]
Date:September 23rd, 2005 02:08 pm (UTC)
When I work in other paradigms, there is no reason not to trust these entities. YHVH is just as reliable when I'm being a Jewish mystic as Esus is when I'm being Pagan.

Besides, things like Angels are pretty predictable.
[User Picture]
Date:September 24th, 2005 02:42 pm (UTC)

Other paradigms...

Maybe you should just sacrifice a white cock raised by a first-born black mule who ate nothing but candied scarabs all its life and pour oil on a young virgin boy beforehand, just in case.

Are we talking about chronarchy's working or your fantasies?
[User Picture]
Date:September 25th, 2005 05:07 pm (UTC)

Re: Other paradigms...

My fantasies, of course. Who DOESN'T dream about sacrificial animals and little boys coated in olive oil...?


Actually, it's a reference to how they work magic in the Greek Magical Papyri. They always use these RIDICULOUS sacrifices that are pretty much nuts... and that was an example of one, more or less. But, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who would enjoy that.

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