September 26th, 2005
|08:49 am - Ah, the weekend, another chaos working, and gaining confidence in myself|
(Written Sunday Night)
I've begun to spend more time on the weekends, savoring them. I'm staying up later, working harder. I'm getting things done I never really had time for before. I spent a load of time tonight working hard to get some things in order for the Grove, and about four hours today shopping and getting things in order for my presentation to the PSA on Tuesday. I got to talk on the phone with romandruid, called singingwren and left a message to see if I couldn't get her to give me a hand on this presentation, and tried to call healing_coyote but failed miserably to get through to her. I also read a load of DJ Conway and Silver Ravenwolf.
I spent a couple of days going through the Zohar, some works by Isaac Luria's students, and various discussions of Kabbalism. I read more Torah this weekend that I have in my entire life, and I found a touchstone phrase in the Song of Songs, one that has truly personal meaning for me, and one that makes the entire Chaos Working far, far less frightening.
The update later today will at least start the description of what's going on with this Chaos Working. As I look at it (it's on another tab on this computer), it's not finished yet, but a good chunk has been described.
Most people on my friends' list will find this entire working strange and difficult to comprehend. It begins following an orthodox Jewish cosmology, and then departs radically into a heretical branch of messianism. I'm not at all suggesting that I understand it completely myself, but I have enough comprehension (through repeated reading, studying, and making extensive notes) that I'm not at all worried that I'm over my head.
That isn't to insinuate that this is safe. I am, however, fifty percent more confident that I can pull this off than I was on Friday. The touchstone is the key to it. It'll be discussed eventually, though it is, perhaps, more arcane than the Working itself, and I can't honestly begin to explain precisely what it meant to me when I found it, though I'm going to give it my best. I wonder if anyone will understand it, as I'm not thinking I fully understand it.
I've dealt with Jewish ritual before, but this working is shaping up to be the most intense working I've ever done, in any paradigm.
And my confidence level is rising by the minute.
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: "Pascagoula Run", -JB
Good. No half-assed chaos workings or I'll punch you in the face!
Anyway, is it too late to help you? I'd love to be useful (and I actually have some time to now, it looks, thanks to getting out of class two hours early) so just lemme know.
I'm talking through a lot of it with fred_smith
, who has bounced some good ideas back to me.
As for being useful, eh, just be there. It's a working I need to do on my own.
Well, I was going to post something nice in transliterated Hebrew, but I can't find any English-Hebrew translators online. Babelfish doesn't do it.
Does that make Babelfish anti-semitic?
Any news on "Anselm and Actuality"?
I can come to your office and pick it up.
Workin' on it. I'll let you know when I make it to the copier. It's not very long, I just have to get the time to get down there.
Understandable. I could come get it, make copies of the article, and get the original back to you.
Heh. I'm loathe to loan out my own books to close friends, much less a book I borrowed from the library :) It won't be long. I was planning to get to it either today or tomorrow, so it depends on traffic through my office.
Also understandable. Here's hoping that you have really low traffic through your office today.
I copied it last thing last night. I can mail it, or you can pick it up. Up to you.
I'll pick it up. Where do I need to be to get it?
Totally Jewish, though some Chrisitans were also bilked by this particular Messiah. :)
Actually, you're right. I've based this off Sabbatai Zevi.
Should be later today. I've uploaded a basic overview to my webpage, and am in the process of reading through and editing it.
I don't find it so weird that you'd do something out of a Judiaca when it's so prevelent in ceremonial magical-type stuff. Song of Songs is pretty cool, what I've read of it.
But then, I still do some odd Catholic things, like pray to St. Anthony when I lose something.
Yeah, but the stuff I'm doing *starts* from orthodoxy. The CM stuff generally starts from, "Let's make something up and call it Jewish!"
That also doesn't surprise me because it's exactly the sort of thing you'd do. You're too much the scholar *not* to. :)
Plan to. Maybe Wed. night. Maybe another night. Life's a tad hectic. Just felt the need to call you. I was going to call people in the order listed, but ended up calling/being called in backwards order.
Not entirely sure why I called you. Just wanted to, I suppose.
Not that I need a reason.