Then, on Friday afternoon, I hit a low.
It was a strange low, one that I may have possibly suspected would come, but I don't think I was prepared for it.
Things seemed to come to a head that day, and I ended up feeling betrayed.
I've never felt this way before. And I didn't feel betrayed by someone predictable, or by someone I might have expected this feeling to come from. . . I felt betrayed by people I never expected could or would betray me.
It's a signal to me, mentally, about how I'm getting out of the funk I was in, though, that I was able to take this feeling and examine it.
I looked very closely at this feeling. While it affected me more than I think it should have, the mere fact that I was able to look at it and discover its roots, and then (finally) dismiss it around 7 AM Saturday morning says a lot about how far I've come.
I found the root of the issue, and I realized that there was no actual betrayal, just a feeling of it. It was a feeling that didn't ever really need to be felt, a feeling that I should have been able to ignore from the beginning.
Had this happened six months ago, it would not have been an issue. And that perspective helped.
As it stands, I can still feel the sting, but it's dull. It's like it's not really there, but a memory of the pain remains. And I know that it never had to be there in the first place.
It doesn't seem important to me who I felt the betrayal from, or the circumstances that surrounded it. What I feel is important, though, is that I was able to work through it, to realize the feeling wasn't based in reality, and to discard it like three-week-old fish.
More on my weekend to come, but this belonged in a separate entry.