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November 1st, 2005


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05:02 am - Just when you start to see light, the wall of the hole you're in collapses
T: In the years we dated, you destroyed any sort of self-worth that I had.

M: How?

T: Just know that you did.

Yes, the time-stamp is right. It's just after five AM, and I'm in my office.

Sleep, well. . . It wasn't much of an option.

I'm headed back toward home around 6AM to vote. Then coming straight back here. Maybe, just maybe I'll stop and get some breakfast on the way.

Edit: Yeah. No voting today. Apparently, the concept of "First Tuesday in November" is null and void if the "first Tues." is the first of November, too. Two firsts don't make a voting day.

Personally, I think it's a Communist plot.

Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes", -JB

(78 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


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[User Picture]
From:smithing_chick
Date:November 1st, 2005 06:50 pm (UTC)
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OK, I'll be the angry bitch, since we all know I'm good at it. Plus, I have too much respect for you to give you anything other than my honest opinion- whether you want it or not.

That is one serious load of bullshit. The first statement is bad enough. It's the second one that makes me want to smack her. That's a head-game & it's a nasty one. The only reason to say something that vague is to twist you up inside & hurt you.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 1st, 2005 06:52 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I know. And I don't much care. It is, to me, unimportant in the long run.
[User Picture]
From:smithing_chick
Date:November 1st, 2005 06:59 pm (UTC)
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You're so much mellower than I am. :)

*hugs*
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 1st, 2005 07:15 pm (UTC)
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Getting upset about things one cannot control, really, is the key to a short life.
[User Picture]
From:qorinda
Date:November 1st, 2005 08:20 pm (UTC)
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Well, at least you know.

My first reaction was, "She's full of it!" Then I remembered all of the times I have said the same thing about an ex-partner when a relationship ended, and eventually realized that it was a reflection of my own self-esteem.

So, of course, this is a reflection of hers. Sad, really.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 1st, 2005 08:22 pm (UTC)
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*nods* In this case, would I rather get angry, or would I rather try to help?

Really, it's a simple choice.
From:tanrinia
Date:November 2nd, 2005 07:23 pm (UTC)
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there's a third choice.

if that is her perception, there's probably nothing you can do to 'help' that or change it.

the easy choice? to get angry. and often the most fun, what with cursin' and bindin' and such, at least in the short run. but probably not very healthy for the long run.

[and i'm not talking about the initial anger/hurt/whatever, that is necessary and almost involuntary at the outset. i'm talking the 3 year or so bitterness kind of anger :) ]

the middle choice? try to help and change her mind. not necessarily easy, doesn't actually work anyway, so is just a big waste of energy, and leads invariably back to choice 1.

the hardest? do nothing. accept what she has said as her truth, realize that it just might not be yours, and not give any ammo away to be used against you again. like i said, the hardest and least popular choice usually, but ultimately the one that's much better for one's soul (or whatever it is in which you believe).

plus, you know plenty of folks into "cursin' and bindin' and such" that can do it for you :D
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 2nd, 2005 09:31 pm (UTC)
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plus, you know plenty of folks into "cursin' and bindin' and such" that can do it for you

Yes. And if they do it, they'll have to reckon with me.

And I'm no slouch at such things.

There will be no cursing or binding. Such exercises are . . . not appreciated in this situation.

Getting angry is a bad option in nearly every situation.
From:tanrinia
Date:November 2nd, 2005 09:47 pm (UTC)
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Yes. And if they do it, they'll have to reckon with me.

And I'm no slouch at such things.

There will be no cursing or binding. Such exercises are . . . not appreciated in this situation.


right...hence the big ass :D at the end.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 2nd, 2005 09:51 pm (UTC)
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A few offers rolled in with no hint of joke.
From:tanrinia
Date:November 2nd, 2005 10:21 pm (UTC)
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ah, okay. s'long as you know, mine WAS.

1. i probably have enough karma issues without inviting more,
2. as much as i don't like when people say mean things to my friends, i'm seldom in a position to know whether they're curse- or bind-worthy.

and of course

3. like i'd ASK your permission :D
[User Picture]
From:singingwren
Date:November 1st, 2005 10:32 pm (UTC)
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By the way, your tangent slots are FILLED!
[User Picture]
From:lillassea
Date:November 2nd, 2005 04:31 am (UTC)
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I found that exchange...well...alarming. It says a lot more about her than it does about you. But you know that already.
[User Picture]
From:creature_tamer
Date:November 3rd, 2005 02:11 am (UTC)
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:(

I am truly sorry both that you had to go through that, and that I wasn't here during your time of need. I haven't been online since Monday night (I pretty much crashed immediately after getting home from work on Tuesday, and can't check LJ from work). Particularly after you were so patient with me during my episode in July. Please let me know if you need anything.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 3rd, 2005 01:10 pm (UTC)
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No worries. It's past. She and I talked about it. I find that if I don't get mad about things like this, usually no harm is done.

But thanks for the offer.

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