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Ár nDraíocht Féin
Three Cranes
Chaos Matrix

November 15th, 2005

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08:50 am - A clear will and a strong sense of clarity go hand in hand.
It's been crazy here, and will be more crazy before the end of the day, so here's a pre-work update of a few things I've been thinking about over the past week or so that (unfortunately) may be the only update that gets done today:


Why is it sometimes so damn hard to say, "I'm sorry, but this just isn't working out"?

Is it because you want it to work out? Is it because you feel obligation? Is it because you are looking too hard for reasons that it should?

I don't know. Sometimes, though, the honest thing is the hardest thing.

Even when it's so obviously easy.


I've realized that my clarity isn't what it could be. I need to find ways to be more certain of my intent and of how well that intent is conveyed.

I cannot and should not be insecure with what I want.


Clarity seems to be a major issue. I'm feeling completely unclear on so many fronts and in so many ways.

Am I clear about what I want? Or perhaps more correctly, am I clear about what I don't?

Maybe I just need everyone to realize that sometimes I don't know what I want, and that's okay.

But the most important thing I want to be clear about?

Just because I don't know what I want, I'm not necessarily looking to find out what it is. I can't be told what I do want, or what I need. Others' conceptions of my desires, or their will for my desires, is not going to make mine match.

Nothing is created when their will attempts to shape mine except a deeper rift between their desire and my will.

Is that clear?


Finally, Infinity has joined the ranks of the hunters, catching her first mouse last night. I managed to get it away from her, but it died as I watched. I'm proud of my girl. Very, very proud. (For those wondering, yes, she's an indoor cat, and the mouse was caught indoors. I'm not quite irresponsible enough to let my cats outside.)

And thank you all for the addresses. Now to figure up how much I need to set aside just for postage. . .
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: "Volcano:, -JB

(35 comments Leave a comment)


Date:November 15th, 2005 03:07 pm (UTC)
i would have to ditto that....(darn you for getting to it first!)

i like presents but i don't need them.
i like mail when it is not bills, but i don't need it either

i do need my friends to take care of themselves and be gentle with themselves when they need to be. unclarity (huh?) is a pretty normal response to what i think it is you're talking about (there you go being vague again :D ), although i think that if you KNOW something isn't working, it matters little the reasons why, especially if it's not going to work. you need to make the change. (now *I'm* being vague...mwahahaha....IM me if you have time...)
[User Picture]
Date:November 15th, 2005 04:57 pm (UTC)
Me, vague? I'm never vague!

There's no time for IM's recently.

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