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Ár nDraíocht Féin
Three Cranes
Chaos Matrix

November 15th, 2005

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08:50 am - A clear will and a strong sense of clarity go hand in hand.
It's been crazy here, and will be more crazy before the end of the day, so here's a pre-work update of a few things I've been thinking about over the past week or so that (unfortunately) may be the only update that gets done today:


Why is it sometimes so damn hard to say, "I'm sorry, but this just isn't working out"?

Is it because you want it to work out? Is it because you feel obligation? Is it because you are looking too hard for reasons that it should?

I don't know. Sometimes, though, the honest thing is the hardest thing.

Even when it's so obviously easy.


I've realized that my clarity isn't what it could be. I need to find ways to be more certain of my intent and of how well that intent is conveyed.

I cannot and should not be insecure with what I want.


Clarity seems to be a major issue. I'm feeling completely unclear on so many fronts and in so many ways.

Am I clear about what I want? Or perhaps more correctly, am I clear about what I don't?

Maybe I just need everyone to realize that sometimes I don't know what I want, and that's okay.

But the most important thing I want to be clear about?

Just because I don't know what I want, I'm not necessarily looking to find out what it is. I can't be told what I do want, or what I need. Others' conceptions of my desires, or their will for my desires, is not going to make mine match.

Nothing is created when their will attempts to shape mine except a deeper rift between their desire and my will.

Is that clear?


Finally, Infinity has joined the ranks of the hunters, catching her first mouse last night. I managed to get it away from her, but it died as I watched. I'm proud of my girl. Very, very proud. (For those wondering, yes, she's an indoor cat, and the mouse was caught indoors. I'm not quite irresponsible enough to let my cats outside.)

And thank you all for the addresses. Now to figure up how much I need to set aside just for postage. . .
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: "Volcano:, -JB

(35 comments Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:November 15th, 2005 03:42 pm (UTC)
I agree with mistw02. And I've found, over the years (I'm pulling age rank on you now...), that sometimes - *sometimes* - it isn't the best thing to dissect one's life so much that it becomes analytical. Sometimes it's best to just let everything happen as it may. Life's too damn complicated enough as it is... sometimes simple is actually best. :)

And kudos to Infinity! She's *such* a pretty kitty, too!! Those *eyes*! If ever eyes were a window into a cat's soul...
[User Picture]
Date:November 15th, 2005 04:19 pm (UTC)
*sometimes* - it isn't the best thing to dissect one's life so much that it becomes analytical...

Ditto. Got time for BE and blueberry pancakes anytime this week?
[User Picture]
Date:November 15th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC)
Nope. And no money for them, either.

Well, I might have time at the very end, just before I leave for Austria on Monday, but no cash then, still :)
[User Picture]
Date:November 15th, 2005 04:58 pm (UTC)
Date:November 15th, 2005 07:42 pm (UTC)
so pretty!
[User Picture]
Date:November 15th, 2005 07:45 pm (UTC)
She's quite the handsome girl. The 02 picture is very much how she looked with the mouse.

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