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Baseball as a metaphor - Chronarchy

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June 13th, 2006


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09:05 am - Baseball as a metaphor
I am not a big fan of baseball, itself. Sure, I'm a White Sox fan, but that's mostly because of an English teacher I had who didn't like the Cubs, and the fact that my bro, red_sput was a Cubs fan, so it was fun to razz him (I have since learned, however, that this is unfair: Cubs fans have suffered enough).

Despite this, I use baseball metaphors a lot, particularly in terms of relationships. One of the most common ones (that, surprisingly, I don't often use) is the "base" system of dating that we all learned in middle school. What I want to know, though, is how you learned it.

Poll #747189 Poll 17: Rounding the Bases

First Base is:

telling someone you like them
1(1.6%)
going on a date
0(0.0%)
holding hands
7(11.3%)
kissing
54(87.1%)
other (see comments)
0(0.0%)

Second Base is:

holding hands
1(1.6%)
kissing
1(1.6%)
french kissing
5(8.2%)
"making out"
22(36.1%)
hands outside clothing
9(14.8%)
hands inside clothing
22(36.1%)
other (see comments)
1(1.6%)

Short Stop is:

huh? there is no short stop!
43(72.9%)
hands outside the clothing
4(6.8%)
hands inside the clothing
5(8.5%)
touching sexual organs
5(8.5%)
other (see comments)
2(3.4%)

Third Base is:

hands inside clothing
12(19.7%)
touching sexual organs
15(24.6%)
extensive/prolonged touching of sexual organs
13(21.3%)
Touching leading to orgasm
3(4.9%)
oral sex
11(18.0%)
oral sex to orgasm
5(8.2%)
anal sex
1(1.6%)
other (see comments)
1(1.6%)

A Home Run is:

oral sex
0(0.0%)
oral sex to orgasm
1(1.6%)
anal sex
0(0.0%)
sexual intercourse
60(96.8%)
other (see comments)
1(1.6%)

Perhaps it is the way Americans are brought up to admire baseball as the "national pastime", or perhaps it's merely this idea that how far you go on a date is measured in "bases", but I do tend to use baseball metaphors to describe relationship issues. More on that later, I imagine.

All your base, of course, are belong to us.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "Manana", -JB

(24 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:mzwyndi
Date:June 13th, 2006 01:13 pm (UTC)
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Third base is: Arguably ANY of those choices.
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From:chronarchy
Date:June 13th, 2006 01:17 pm (UTC)
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Certainly, but how did *you* learn it? :)
[User Picture]
From:mzwyndi
Date:June 13th, 2006 01:20 pm (UTC)
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That way. That third base was any next step that might be intermediary between "feeling up" and "going ALL the way" (which was pretty strictly defined as male-female penetration, a point on which I do not agree)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:June 13th, 2006 01:28 pm (UTC)
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*nods* As with all systems created by 13 year olds, it's got some flaws. :)
[User Picture]
From:mzwyndi
Date:June 13th, 2006 01:42 pm (UTC)
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Well, and in point of fact, the list you made probably doesn't cover all the possibilities of third base. It was spoken of with great reverence, and equally great fear, and never really defined by any one act.
[User Picture]
From:lillassea
Date:June 14th, 2006 02:46 am (UTC)
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Indeed... third base was more mysterious and shrouded in darkness than "going all the way."
[User Picture]
From:mzwyndi
Date:June 14th, 2006 11:58 am (UTC)
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*nodnodnod* Yes! That's it exactly.

Maybe it was because it was the 70s, and we had the really raunchy porn mags out of the back of Julie's dad's closet to outline (in glossy color and exorbitant detail) the act of "going all the way"?

Getting there? Notsomuch.
[User Picture]
From:mitakola
Date:June 13th, 2006 01:58 pm (UTC)

All your base are belong to us!

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I learned all about bases in the girls locker room before and after gym class, when I was about 13-14 I think. Surprisingly, all of the girls spoke in “base” terms but none of the guys I was with mentioned bases. I am sure they spoke of bases to each other in their own locker rooms, but I only went in there once. I am surprised you left out the Grand Slam! That is the only thing I would add and it was later when I was about 19 when I experienced one of those for the first time. I continued to look for those on a regular basis….lol. But they were few and far between.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:June 13th, 2006 02:39 pm (UTC)

Re: All your base are belong to us!

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What's this "Grand Slam" you speak of? I'm curious :)
[User Picture]
From:mitakola
Date:June 13th, 2006 02:49 pm (UTC)

Re: All your base are belong to us!

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Well, without being TOO graphic, the Grand Slam was a variety of home runs in the same night. Oral, vaginal and anal. And of course for the guy, a grand slam was not that grand unless it included ejaculation inside the girl. You know “pulling out” was a teenagers belief in birth control. LOL TO get a grand slam with a girl was a big thing! Of course, she became the main topic in the locker room the next day….with exaggerations of how perfect it was of course.
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From:chronarchy
Date:June 13th, 2006 02:40 pm (UTC)
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Got you beat: I was in gym around 6:30 every morning. Lifeguarding class took place before school :)

I don't have any really consistent idea of second or third base, either. I just have general ideas about them.
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[User Picture]
From:mzwyndi
Date:June 14th, 2006 12:01 pm (UTC)

Re: Good point!

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Pre-Clintonian perspective!

*dies of feeling old*

Is that really how we classify it? Jeebus Kripes. What would we call mine? Pre-AIDS perspective? *shudders at the possibilities*
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:mzwyndi
Date:June 14th, 2006 12:53 pm (UTC)

Re: Good point!

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*nodding*

Yeah, LJ isn't what makes me feel old. Working on a university campus fills that role pretty effectively -- at least there are a few people roughly my age on LJ. (And, I dunno, I get taken for ten to fifteen years younger than I am in person, which excerbates the matter. Notsomuch on LJ.)

Dude. Lost my virginity before they discovered AIDS. I think that's really the most significant paradigm-shift about sexuality that happened in my youth. I can't imagine the Clintonian thing being anything but laughable before AIDS.

[User Picture]
From:qorinda
Date:June 13th, 2006 06:07 pm (UTC)
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This is exactly how I learned it too.

I have absolutely no recall of when or how I learned it, though. That was something like almost 4 decades ago!

But I do remember that it was used extensively all through high school.

I also had one other thing - I don't know if it would fit on the bases system, but I used to call it "it-sex" - when we would rub up against each other with clothes on enough to induce orgasm. Maybe that's also third base. Or maybe shortstop. I dunno.
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From:rfunk
Date:June 13th, 2006 06:13 pm (UTC)
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That's pretty much been my impression too, but I sorta cheated - at some point well past high school I finally got sick of not being clear on 2nd and 3rd, so I searched the net.
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From:chronarchy
Date:June 14th, 2006 07:15 pm (UTC)
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Most haven't, it seems :)
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From:tesinth
Date:June 13th, 2006 04:45 pm (UTC)
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Can't say I've ever heard of "shortstop" being part of run around the field.

As Wikipedia puts it: "Shortstop is often regarded as the most dynamic defensive position in baseball...", so in this analogy/methaphor perhaps a "shortstop" can be considered the girl's father smashing in the windshield of your car after he sees you feeling up his daughter in the back seat, hence causing you to stop short of reaching third base.
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From:chronarchy
Date:June 14th, 2006 07:14 pm (UTC)
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I hadn't heard of it, either, but it seems some have. I didn't want to have someone say, "Hey, you forgot short stop!" in the comments, so I made it an option.
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From:ariansdreams
Date:June 13th, 2006 05:50 pm (UTC)
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This was amusing. I actually never referred to the "bases" with my friends, but I knew what I thought each one was, which is interesting. Maybe I got it from a movie or something. My friends just got teased if they showed up to school with lovebites on their necks. Haha...high school was so silly.
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From:chronarchy
Date:June 14th, 2006 07:13 pm (UTC)
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*nods* I never used the terminology myself, that I recall, but I certainly knew what each one meant. :)
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From:singingwren
Date:June 13th, 2006 08:07 pm (UTC)
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Whoah. I just made the accidental discovery that LJ is not blocked for me anymore. I wonder if Jason did that for me? Hm. I shall have to keep acting for the most part like I can't access it because it could be a dangerous distraction, but hey. At least I can keep up with people from here. What an amusing first entry to furtively pull up on my screen and hope not to get caught with... *laughs*
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From:chronarchy
Date:June 14th, 2006 07:13 pm (UTC)
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Here's hoping you managed to get away without being spotted?

"Did they see me sneaking down the fire escape at two?"
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From:pentacleseven
Date:June 14th, 2006 05:07 am (UTC)
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LOL! My husband and I were just discussing this a few hours ago, eh, during the game. =)
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From:chronarchy
Date:June 14th, 2006 07:12 pm (UTC)
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Talk about timing :)

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