Chronarchy (chronarchy) wrote,
Chronarchy
chronarchy

A walk in the park

Tuesday night, after PSA, I went to the Chadwick Arboretum and spent some time walking the labyrinth out there. I arrived around 10 PM and left around 11 PM. That hour, I thought, walked, and basically just spent time with myself.

I walked into my first descent toward the center, thinking about things. I noticed immediately that the longer I walked, the more the superficiality of my thought slipped away. I started concentrating on things beyond the physical fairly quickly, though a few fun thoughts surfaced in the initial walk.

On my first ascent out from the center, I found that the more I thought about things, the more I saw that some of those things simply had to go. I examined myself for what I really wanted, and I saw paths to those things.

On my second descent and the following ascent, I found myself wanting excellence in worship, and I found myself not utterly without it. I turned over in my mind how to achieve it, and I saw that putting more and more effort into this liturgy journal was a good start: I've already come further than I thought possible, and I've only been doing it for six weeks.

On the third descent, I started to feel the lack of food in my system becoming obvious. My legs trembled as I looked up at the stars.

On my third ascent from the center, I counted the number of steps. There are 317 steps from center to outside, and the labyrinth is 44 steps around the outside circle. I found it interesting that I was able to do the math, counting both steps I'm taking, holding the number of steps for half a circumambulation, and multiplying the half circumambulation by two. I was unaware that I could do that.

I stopped for a second after this ascent, and took careful stock of my body.

My fourth descent and ascent were sprints through the labyrinth. I found I could turn right better than I could turn left, and observed that this was likely because of the muscle training I received as a fencer here at Ohio State. I lost my concentration and became lost near the end of the ascent, and felt cramps and dizziness near the end.

I turned back to the labyrinth for my fifth trip, the cold sweat and hard breathing at the forefront of my mind, as well as the heavy cough that ripped through my lungs from time to time. I stood there, though, and stepped in for another descent. I felt my mind opened to magic, the muscle fatigue obvious, but a clearer, stronger walk available.

By the end of the fifth ascent from the center, my mind was clear, and my body was purged of my wants.

I went home and fell asleep as soon as I laid down.
Tags: freedom, psa
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