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November 29th, 2006


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08:40 am - From the LGSP Journal last night
I came home on Tuesday night and went straight to my altar. Something wasn't adding up, primarily centering around a discussion on ADF-Liturgists.

Sometimes, I find myself drawn into a discussion, and on occasion, my sense of play overwhelms my sense of reason. I don't think I'd want it any other way, but I found myself that night channeling the play into an arena with rules that didn't mesh with the game I was playing.

So I turned it into prayer.

Distancing myself from a conversation that quickly became weirdly emotional and strangely irrational allowed me to see that the rules I was following (have fun, don't be overly serious, back things up with evidence, and don't feel attacked) were not the rules of the game I was in.

So I took my game to my altar. I entered a reality where opinions didn't matter, where no one got upset, and where people could find humour. That's the world I always pray in.

Part of the issue, of course, is that I want to show the world how things are from my eyes. I like my eyes, they're great and they view things in a unique manner.

"Your argument isn't important," I want to say. "You are." This is because when I pray, "My prayer isn't important; I am. Your hearing my prayer isn't important; you are."

Sometimes, we get so caught up in what others are doing, we forget that we ought to just pray about it.

So I stood in front of my altar, and I prayed. I prayed for myself, my friends, and my family. I prayed for ADF and for its members. I prayed to and for the Kindred.

The prayers weren't elegant, or even really well spoken. But I realized as I stood there that all the arguing I do in my life, all the silly positions I take, and all the dumb things I say: none will matter.

But this prayer. . . it matters.

And I prayed longer.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: "If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me", -JB

(13 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


(Deleted comment)
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From:chronarchy
Date:November 29th, 2006 02:13 pm (UTC)
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Well, I did mention the specific email list, and there's really only one thread going on now :)
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From:fred_smith
Date:November 29th, 2006 02:47 pm (UTC)
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That sounds like a difficult argument. Religious politics and debate is always fun. Thats why I avoid e-groups. When stuff happens there with the groups I'm in, I jst get someone else to tell me and end up happier.
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From:chronarchy
Date:November 29th, 2006 02:53 pm (UTC)
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Not really "difficult" so much as "strange". When it took the turn from a regular argument and became weird, I just went to someplace not weird: I went home to prayer.

Worked out nicely.
(Deleted comment)
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From:chronarchy
Date:November 29th, 2006 03:35 pm (UTC)
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I'm not entirely certain that the "weird" is external to me, though it may be, from your indication. I saw this as going from "Weird inside" to "normal inside".

And anyway, the world is pear-shaped, according to Columbus.
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 29th, 2006 03:33 pm (UTC)

Re: Weird, wyrd, or both?

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The photo with Flash is totally better.

I spend a lot of time reevaluating. I always have, but I find it more. . . noticeable on an external basis at the moment.

Curious how it works, no?
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From:singingwren
Date:November 29th, 2006 04:32 pm (UTC)
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Interestingly, I did a very similar thing.

You should go down to the river soon, too. Just feel the temperature out there; it's like the river is singing to you.


(Deleted comment)
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From:chronarchy
Date:November 29th, 2006 05:01 pm (UTC)
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The prayer helped with the circular nature of the argument, for me.

Try it? :) That's about all the advice I can give.
From:ceolnamara
Date:November 29th, 2006 10:58 pm (UTC)
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I don't think I've prayed elegantly in a long time (assuming I ever did, since it's not really my conception of elegance that matters).

No clue about the list thing - however, I imagine the subscriber list of ADF-Liturgists has gone up since 0840 Eastern time.

Prayer very much matters. I went to my prayers tonight with a very heavy heart, and my heart's not quite so heavy anymore. But, beyond any effect I may have felt today, it's just a really good idea.
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From:brandondedicant
Date:December 1st, 2006 12:13 am (UTC)
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You've got a gift for working seriously but not too seriously. I'm sure what was bothering you won't bother you for long. ;-)

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