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From the LGSP Journal last night - Chronarchy

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November 29th, 2006


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08:40 am - From the LGSP Journal last night
I came home on Tuesday night and went straight to my altar. Something wasn't adding up, primarily centering around a discussion on ADF-Liturgists.

Sometimes, I find myself drawn into a discussion, and on occasion, my sense of play overwhelms my sense of reason. I don't think I'd want it any other way, but I found myself that night channeling the play into an arena with rules that didn't mesh with the game I was playing.

So I turned it into prayer.

Distancing myself from a conversation that quickly became weirdly emotional and strangely irrational allowed me to see that the rules I was following (have fun, don't be overly serious, back things up with evidence, and don't feel attacked) were not the rules of the game I was in.

So I took my game to my altar. I entered a reality where opinions didn't matter, where no one got upset, and where people could find humour. That's the world I always pray in.

Part of the issue, of course, is that I want to show the world how things are from my eyes. I like my eyes, they're great and they view things in a unique manner.

"Your argument isn't important," I want to say. "You are." This is because when I pray, "My prayer isn't important; I am. Your hearing my prayer isn't important; you are."

Sometimes, we get so caught up in what others are doing, we forget that we ought to just pray about it.

So I stood in front of my altar, and I prayed. I prayed for myself, my friends, and my family. I prayed for ADF and for its members. I prayed to and for the Kindred.

The prayers weren't elegant, or even really well spoken. But I realized as I stood there that all the arguing I do in my life, all the silly positions I take, and all the dumb things I say: none will matter.

But this prayer. . . it matters.

And I prayed longer.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: "If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me", -JB

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Comments:


[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 29th, 2006 02:53 pm (UTC)
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Not really "difficult" so much as "strange". When it took the turn from a regular argument and became weird, I just went to someplace not weird: I went home to prayer.

Worked out nicely.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 29th, 2006 03:35 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I'm not entirely certain that the "weird" is external to me, though it may be, from your indication. I saw this as going from "Weird inside" to "normal inside".

And anyway, the world is pear-shaped, according to Columbus.

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