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January 4th, 2007


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03:59 pm - Steps to a better life:
  • Step 1: Learn ASL for "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
  • Step 2: ?
  • Step 3: Profit!
Today's excursion into entirely different modes of experiencing communication was nigh disastrous.

Thankfully, there was a cute girl sitting next to me who kinda knew what she was doing, and was willing to help me out.

I'm in over my head with the ASL stuff, but the Chaote is kicking in.

If that little bastard weren't so rusty at existence, I might stand a chance at acing this course.

As it stands, I walked out repeating, "I will not be frightened by the fact that I can't keep up with a girl on the first day of class. I will not give in to frustration. I am not here for me. I am here for my Grove, ADF, and my co-workers. If no one sees me for ten weeks, they can deal with that."

And in a little voice at the back of my head, I was repeating something deeper and more ingrained:
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Then I turned around and looked back at Mendenhall Lab and the girl caught my eye and waved. And damnit, there I was feeling in-over-my-head again.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "Sail On Sailor", -JB

(57 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:tanrinia
Date:January 4th, 2007 09:32 pm (UTC)
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"As it stands, I walked out repeating, "I will not be frightened by the fact that I can't keep up with a girl on the first day of class."

do they let children take college courses these days?
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 4th, 2007 09:39 pm (UTC)
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I'm taking them, so I'm going to say "yes".
From:snakesinspace
Date:January 4th, 2007 09:40 pm (UTC)
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That is an excellent answer.
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 4th, 2007 09:45 pm (UTC)
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Well, it's true. I think that tanrinia is expressing dissatisfaction with the idea that I might be considering the girl I sat next to as a child based on any number of things, like age or merely gender.

But, as one who doesn't see himself as a "man", I tend to perceive persons around my age group and below as "boys" and "girls". Heck, I consider people well above my age group in those terms quite often.

In fact, I'm not sure I see anyone as "woman" or "man" outside of my parents or grandparents, now that I seriously think about it.

Those terms simply do not hold identification for me.
From:snakesinspace
Date:January 4th, 2007 09:51 pm (UTC)
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I lump people into sexy and not-sexy. Beyond that, it is all about the tentacles.
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 4th, 2007 09:59 pm (UTC)
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Hehe. I think, on further reflection, that there are persons that I consider "men" and "women" outside my immediate family: these are people that I have professional relationships with: they come to my office, or I know them superficially, or I think of them as without emotion or wonder.

If there is any relationship beyond that, be it emotional, romantic, friendly, or intellectual, then they're a "guy" or a "girl".

I think "boy" probably connotes "young" to me, but honestly, this is probably a function of the alliterative aspects of "guys and girls" over the non-alliterative aspects of "boys and girls". I am thus more likely to use "guy" when referring to a male friend with whom I have a relationship more than superficial with that I am to use "boy".

I will occasionally use "gal" in place of "girl", which is the obvious counterpart of "guy", but I spent so much time breaking my usage of that word because I had to fit myself into a Yankee school district that I can barely think in those terms anymore.

(and people think I just say shit willy-nilly sometimes. . . I know what I'm doing. Sorta. Kinda. Okay: I'm making it up as I go along. But at least I can defend it!)
From:snakesinspace
Date:January 4th, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC)
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Gah. My brain hurts now.

As long as I'm the queen and you're captain of the guard, it's all good.
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 4th, 2007 10:15 pm (UTC)
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See, challenging my word choice doesn't benefit anyone. :)
From:snakesinspace
Date:January 4th, 2007 11:15 pm (UTC)
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I never challenge anything you say/do. I am of the opinion that doing such is not within my job description.
From:tanrinia
Date:January 5th, 2007 05:19 pm (UTC)
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but it is ever so much fun and does yield good conversation and a new way of looking at things :)

i'm not sure but i think poking fun at you IS part of my job description, but i'll have to check the by-laws under "scribe" :) i think roadtripjudi will back me on that...
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From:smithing_chick
Date:January 5th, 2007 06:47 am (UTC)
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Given my current resemblance to a potato, I think I need to grow some tentacles.
;-)
From:tanrinia
Date:January 5th, 2007 03:04 pm (UTC)
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well, i don't apologize. the terms have been used (both boy and girl, but you didn't say boy, but i would have bonked you on the head for that one too) not just as relative indicators of age or attitude but as manipulative tools, and i don't tolerate them used improperly in my classes or in my students writings or anywhere else really. 80 year old men may call me girl, but that's about it. (yes, at 40, there are still folks calling me 'girl.')

however, we have had students from neighboring high schools take college classes as AP, and ALS courses are offered in many locations, so i could have ALSO been confused about where you were taking this course, too.

see how dangerous it is too assume? :)
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 5th, 2007 03:48 pm (UTC)
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I wouldn't ask you to apologize :) That'd be silly :)

I tend to look at it as "I have a girlfriend, not a womanfriend; thus I am likely to refer to my girlfriend as a 'girl' over a 'woman'." I also suspect that it has to do with the number of women I know who complain of things like "girl problems" or talk about their "girlfriends" or simply say "go girl!"

I understand your "manipulative tools" argument: I would never call a black man a "boy," for instance, but at the same time I would be very likely to call him a "guy" rather than a "man".

I just don't use those words very often, "man" and "woman". The concepts belong firmly to people I have no emotional attachment to. They're non-thinking, non-feeling entities to me.

Then there's that whole group of women who hate being called a "lady". . . I've almost entirely dropped that from my vocabulary, though the collective "ladies" is still strong when the word "guys" would be appropriate, except that everyone's female.

Besides, this isn't "dangerous". It's a thought experiment gone horribly awry :)
From:tanrinia
Date:January 5th, 2007 03:53 pm (UTC)
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well, i also hate the terms 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend' whether they're used for romantic couples or just friends who happen to be one sex or another.

womanfriend and manfriend just sound silly.

lover is a whole different thing.

i used to call vitaminJ my partner, and now spouse or husband. but there needs to be a better term for "yes, i am dating this adult person quite a bit, but it's none of your business if we are doing it (lovers)." haven't quite hit on that yet.

Lady is a hold over from chivalry which contrary to being all 'knights in shining armor' romaticism was really not-so-thinly-veiled sexism (and racism and classism, but i won't get into that, as it's about a 300 word rant :)

none of which answers whether or not this was at OSU :)
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From:chronarchy
Date:January 5th, 2007 04:01 pm (UTC)
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Ah, it is, indeed, at OSU. It's a for-credit class.

Why not "I'm involved with him"?
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