Chronarchy (chronarchy) wrote,

Mel, your moralization is frightening. . .

tesinth and I went to see Apocalypto at the dollar theatre yesterday. While the moral of the movie appears to be "Thank God the White Catholics showed up in time to save the noble savages," we found ourselves wondering:

Poll #925849 Poll 20: Let the shushing begin!

At what point may you speak during a movie in the theatre?

At any point, you may carry on a conversation.
At any point, but only short questions are allowed (e.g. "Who is that?" "What's he doing?" "Can you get me some Junior Mints?")
At any point, but only comments about the plot are allowed (e.g. "Dude!" "I knew it!" "That was cool!" or "Damn, she's hot!")
Only after the credits begin to roll.
Only after any sketches that play during the credits (e.g. people dancing, animated creatures telling jokes, gag reels)
Only after any ending material (e.g. extra scenes after credits)
Any time during the credits, unless sketches are occuring, but you have to be silent for ending material.
Only when the lights go up in the house.

At what point is the movie officially "over"?

When you get up to leave.
When the credits begin to roll.
When the credits begin to roll, unless there are sketches or something to watch while they roll.
After all sketches or ending material (e.g. scenes at the very end, after the credits).
When the lights go up at the very end of the film.

You see, during the credits, while tesinth and I were trying to make heads or tails of the movie (and failing on both counts, aside from to say, "Well, it's a good thing those white Catholics eventually showed up to fix the problem, isn't it?"), we were "shushed" by an old guy who informed us, "Excuse me, the movie isn't over yet." This was well more than half-way through the credits, which have no vocalization, and honestly, aren't any fun to watch (the only reason we were still there was because I was looking for an ASPCA certification. . . which of course wasn't there. . . I suspect a number of animals were harmed in the making of this movie).

This of course, led us to sit through the rest of the credits in silence, and then ask each other if the movie was over and if we were allowed to speak now that the house lights had gone up.

Centrally, tesinth and I would have been happy to be quiet, if he'd said something like, "Guys, we're listening to the music. Would you mind staying quiet until the credits are finished?" But he informed us that the movie was still going on instead, as if we were somehow unaware that the credits were running. His tone of voice was also extremely condescending. It would have been nice to have been asked to be quiet, rather than tell us that we were punk kids because we didn't understand his definition of the end of the film.

So now, I find myself curious, which is why I noted the poll above.

Also, this movie is apparently not about Mayans at all, but Aztecs. I ended up even more confused when I realized that.

And btw, I expect that the "moral of the story" listed above isn't a spoiler. It was, merely, the final conclusion I drew from this movie, much like "Christ wasn't a savior, he was a magician" was the conclusion I drew from Passion. If you see the movie and determine that I did, indeed, somehow spoil the ending with that comment, I grant you permission to post most venomously on my LJ in retaliation.
Tags: friends, movies, polls, stupidity

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