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Ár nDraíocht Féin
Three Cranes
Chaos Matrix

February 13th, 2007

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01:47 pm - High School Reunions
I've been given the option, recently, to go to my Ten Year High School Reunion this year. This is that chance to point and laugh at people who were popular and whose lives turned out to be shit. Or so that's what everyone is telling me.

Thing is, there are two particular issues at play with whether I'm willing to shell out $70 to go see some people that haven't bothered to talk to me in ten years.
  1. There are some people I'd really like to see again, maybe catch up with, and maybe say, "Hey, look: I don't mind that you stopped talking to me the day we graduated."
  2. There is someone in particular that I have no desire to ever see again.
Yes, in this case, I'm actually shallow enough and bitter enough to say, "I'm sorry, but seeing everyone again just isn't really worth running into this person."

For the most part, much of my high school life was left behind as soon as I went to a college that no one else in my (really freakin' huge) class of 787 other students went to. Sure, I visited, and I occasionally hung out with friends from high school still, but for the most part, I went a very separate way from most of them.

Every now and again, I'll hear back from them, or I'll get information via word-of-mouth. And for the most part, I'm fine with that: I don't ask after folks because I don't feel it's an important thing to do, socially.

But part of me wants to see a few of these people in person.

The other part of me, though, doesn't want to see this other, single individual again. Ever. I imagine that part of it is fear, part of it is general pain, and part of it is just bitterness. But I have thought about it, examined myself and my feelings, and come to the conclusion that this isn't something I'm ready to deal with.

I suppose there are options: I could ignore this person if they tried to speak to me, I could politely tell them to "fuck off", or I could just shout obscenities at them until they leave me alone. But as hurt and fearful as I am of this person, I also don't really want to hurt this person back in any way. I simply wish that this person and I never share the same general locative and temporal space again.

The odd thing is, this is the only person I would ever have this sort of problem with. Finding the root of it is hard, because it's an experience so unlike anything else I have ever known: it does not make sense to me that I should feel like this. Heck, there was a kid named Chad in my Latin class at DCHS who I couldn't stand, who poked fun at me, who knew how to push my buttons. . . And I wouldn't mind seeing him again. Heck, the kid who tried to beat me up in sixth grade, Jeremy, would be someone I could deal with on a personal level now. But this person is different. Very different.

And I suspect that this single individual will keep me away from those old high school friends for the rest of my life.

And in the end, I'm so not fine with that person that I'm fine with missing every reunion until I die.

Talk about weird.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: "Creola", -JB

(10 comments Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:February 13th, 2007 07:09 pm (UTC)
I went to my 10th reunion and it basically sucked. Most of the folks that I never hung around with were the ones that ran it and were in the limelight. The one person that I was happy to see would have found me eventually. The two people that I really cared for in high school are still in my life.

I haven't been to another one since.
[User Picture]
Date:February 13th, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC)
Ditto, only I went to my 5th, and that was it. Just because you moved on doesn't necessarily mean there's a bunch of baggage involved. Maybe you're just not at all the same person you were in HS, and you're not the least bit interested in "going back."
As for the one(s) you're reluctant to see, there's always the possibility they won't be there. Even if they are, you can simply pretend they aren't. You're good at stuff like that -- really, just tell yourself they aren't there, you can't see them, can't hear them and don't even have to acknowledge their presence. Don't even bother avoiding them; simply ignore them.
Aside: I missed my 25-year reunion for Comfest a couple years ago. Tough choice? Hell no. I enjoyed every single moment of Comfest and didn't once feel the least bit uncomfortable. Um... except maybe for that moment during the lightning storm when I found myself huddled under a metal-and-canvas shelter under a big tree standing next to a tall Discordian. (I really have to avoid those situations in the future...)
[User Picture]
Date:February 13th, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC)
I skipped my 10th and 20th high school reunions despite living reasonably close by. Just don't have an interest in keeping up with those folks. I have no bad memories, no one ever bullied me, folks were pleasant overall and I'll pass the time of day with them if I run into them--just not interested in pursuing anything more, honestly.

It doesn't sound like that's the case for you, though--you'd probably want to go if this individual wasn't there, right?

Would it be possible for you to find out whether they'd even be there at all? I mean, more people skip reunions than attend them.
[User Picture]
Date:February 13th, 2007 09:17 pm (UTC)
The high school reunion is $70? Where the hell are they hosting it?

And for that matter, is there a 5 year reunion? I know mine would be coming up, and I have no idea if I'd even want to go either. ::shrugs::
[User Picture]
Date:February 13th, 2007 09:17 pm (UTC)
They tried to contact me for my ten year as well, not sure if I'm gonna go either.
[User Picture]
Date:February 13th, 2007 09:39 pm (UTC)

Decisions, decisions...

My gut says to your gut, "Speak up." To you, it says, "Listen." Simple enough? If you go, have fun; if you're not having fun, leave. :)

Now tell me that this isn't a bit scarier?

Date:February 14th, 2007 02:16 am (UTC)
I'll go with them and beat them up for you.
Date:February 14th, 2007 03:27 am (UTC)
Err, you, I'll go with you-- long night. :)
[User Picture]
Date:February 14th, 2007 03:24 am (UTC)
I've never been to any of my reunions. There are a couple people it might be fun to see, but I always had a feeling they might not be there anyway. I suppose it might be fun to go someday and see who's still alive (like when I'm 70 or something, or if I'm really bored).
[User Picture]
Date:February 14th, 2007 04:31 am (UTC)

I wouldn't bother

I stayed in contact with couple of my friends, and have reconnected with some others thru Facebook & Myspace (which shows you those sites _can be_ good for something) A few other people have recognized me at various random places- the bus, Target, my college etc.

Every story about H.S. reunions I've heard from my parents & their friends is that it sucked, was run by the popular people and that the high point of the popular people's lives was high school, and a lot of them had become rather pathetic and boring people.

Now college reunions I would go to, but I'd prefer it to be for a class that's a couple years before I actually graduate, since I'm taking longer than other people my age. My suggestion would be to have your own reunion with the h.s. friends you actually care about.

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