February 16th, 2007
|10:12 am - Ritual for others, and seeing how it affects me. . .|
For the most part, I've never really been in a position to be doing rituals for others. I've always invited them along, or asked them to do a part, or offered to do a part to them (you know, when the situation called for it).
Recently, though, I've found myself in a position where workings and rituals can't be performed by the person who needs it, and so I become their proxy. It's deepening my magical and spiritual work on the one hand, and on the other it's opening my eyes to whole new pantheons and ways of looking at the world.
Recently, I've been working a lot with Irish deities, a group that has never really gotten along well with me (with some notable exceptions). This alone is an interesting experience, but approaching a deity you have never had a relationship with is somewhat strange. I often feel like I should produce a letter of introduction, something from the person who I'm representing, but that's not always possible, either.
But there's no real discomfort, so much as there is real strangeness to it. Fortunately, the Chaote in me thrives on that sort of feeling, and the Priest sort of goes along for the ride. It works out well in the end, I think.
It also may be very helpful that I've worked with some of the weirdest, most indescribably terrifying deities and religions out there. I mean, sure: I'd rather work with Cthulhu than Kali any day, but how scary can Kali really be when you've seen that dream-encrusted eye in R'lyeh open slowly and stare right through you? A bunch of arms and a couple of human skulls ain't got nothin' on that experience.
The process of working for others, though, presents a unique problem that I have always had an eye on: time spent on others reduces time spent on the self. This aspect, in particular, where I am increasing the amount of religious work I do for others, could have a detrimental effect on how much religious work I do for myself.
But, I think, it is awareness of this potential and a strong sense of what I need that will keep me from feeling that effect.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: curious
Current Music: "Dreamsicle", -JB
Oddly, my mother is the one who asks me to do spiritual work for her. She asks me for prayers and healing, spiritual support, workings meant to generate hope. But how or to whom I pray and from whom this energy comes is never specified, which is perhaps why this slightly discomfitting dynamic works between us.
It's amusing, though, that you speak of working with scary or darker gods, whereas I am requested to work with scarily lighter and fluffy bunnier forces. I swear it's just as bewildering!
I often feel like I should produce a letter of introduction, something from the person who I'm representing, but that's not always possible, either.
That's one reason my offering to Sunna at the last 3 Cranes rite I was at included a 'letter of introduction'. I was absolutely serious about that. I felt funny being part of a rite to a deity I didn't know *at all* and who didn't know me *at all*. Kind of like showing up at a friend of a friend's house unannounced.