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Ár nDraíocht Féin
Three Cranes
Chaos Matrix

October 20th, 2003

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10:13 am - I'm way too normal to have an LJ, I think. . .
So I'm reading my friends' entries. The total number of entries looked a bit light, but I didn't think much of it. Eventually, though, I realized I wasn't logged in, so I had to go back to the beginning to make sure I didn't miss any entries.

So I sighed and went back to the beginning. :)

I know I have the option to make friends-only posts. And I've thought about it before.

I also know, though, that there are people who like to read my posts who don't have LJ accounts.

I know, too, that if you post anything on the Internet, you'd best be prepared to answer for it and to it. What's the old saying? "Don't write anything in electronic media you wouldn't want your mother to read." The idea, of course, is that all things eventually make it public. :)

So I don't use Friends-Only. I don't use the Private function. What you see is the complete picture, no matter how messed up it may look. . .

At this point, there's nothing I write that I'm not willing to let anyone read.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled craziness. :)
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: "Who's that Blonde Stranger?", -JB

(5 comments Leave a comment)


Date:October 20th, 2003 03:32 pm (UTC)

Nohing about being normal or not normal... :)

Heh. I cannot help but think that your view on Public Vs. Friends/Private is rather narrow. But this could just be a perception problem on my end. :)

I have my private posts Private because they are just that. Private; just for myself. They're my thoughts and ideas that I don't want to share. Those will never get around because no one ever sees them but me. My Friends posts are that way because I am a mother, and parents who are 'alternative' need to make every precaution to protect their young.

It has been proven that you can have as many sex toys in your home, when children are in your home, as long as the toys are all locked away in a box with a big pad lock. I know that is a bad analogy but it works: the point is you have to make a reasonable effort. I keep my son off of my personal web site because it does deal with sex. On my journal, if I want to post a picture of him I should not have to worry about a pedophile, a kidnapper or some nut taking it the wrong way. This is something parents are aware of.

I am not afraid of saying anything 'Public' that I say to my 'Friends'. I always stand behind my words; but there are some things that should be kept between friends. I use my LJ to talk about quite a bit of the shit I have gone through and that I am going through right now. I do not feel comfortable while I am going through so much pain to broadcast it, in the detail I am going into in my LJ, where anyone can see it. Especially since there is no guarantee that strangers will understand or be supportive (which most people rarely are).

Case in point is your comment that "all things eventually make it public". If something is posted, or said, between Friends and it becomes known far and wide, then whoever 'spilled the beans' was not your friend in the first place and goes in proving that people are, and can be, petty and often not trusted. Which is all the more reason for me, not for everyone, to limit my "audience".

In real life I surround myself with people I trust, who I care about, who care about me, who understand me, and who support me when I need it. I do the same online. I would not go up to some stranger off the street and say "Oh yeah, I'm a girl and I sleep with other girls!", but if they asked me and I evaluated the situation (ie they weren't a homophobe who was going to try and kick my ass) I would tell them. Unfortunately we do not have the privilege of doing such sanity checks online. It is very rare that people are who they appear to be.

Not everyone will make things protected, such as yourself. But you seem to be implying that people who do not make everything public are somehow hiding what they say, unwilling to stand behind what they say, and that they are not showing their full picture. I suppose, in a roundabout way what I am attempting to convey is that this is not always the case. Yes, there are LJers who go Friends only to create a supply and demand situation, but there are others who are just trying to ensure their own safety.

I am not saying everyone should go Friends only, I am only trying, I guess, to explain why I am not in Public mode. Everyone has their own story and their own way of telling it. :)
[User Picture]
Date:October 20th, 2003 03:52 pm (UTC)

Heh. I actually thought about your journal when typing this. . . I had something written like: "I know some people have friends-only journals, which is cool . . ." but it just wasn't fiting in with what I wanted to say . . .

I can understand the desire for a completly "friends-only" (I'm already tired of typing that, and will call it "FO" from now on) journal. That makes sense. . . but I do wonder about people who make things that are absolutely mundane "FO" and things that seem private public. It confuses me :)

I have decided recently, though, that I want to thow myself open. I think a part of this came up when I watched healing_coyote move things from public to "FO" or private because her sister might be coming on. I think I realized at that point that I really don't care much what people think about me, so long as they've examined all the evidence and made an informed decision. :)

The process of moving all my paper journals to electronic media has also caused this change. There's some freakishly embarassing stuff in my personal journals (and a couple of people will find themselves in them [names abbreviated to protect the guilty] when they show up in their completed form).

If the girls I knew in High School read those things, they might be scarred for life. We'll see. :)
Date:October 20th, 2003 06:34 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I remember that day. I was stressed b/c I thought Kristina was gonna come on and in realizing that, I needed to make private most of my pagan entries. Other than that, everything has stayed pretty public, b/c my family has begun reading about my life in NYC.

I completely understand the freedom of just posting whatever and making it open to all public eyes. I have done this with most of my entries. But, I have realized that while you don't want to hide your journal entries (and it seems that you judge those of us who do); you don't write anything particularly private- nothing about your religious experiences (although you have posted a few dreams), nothing about your sex life (which is understandable =), and nothing too personal.

I write about things mostly to either entertain (i.e., roach stories), to enlighten (i.e., monika_lessons), or to help me figure things out (i.e. personal/private entries). Please don't make me feel guilty about not letting everything out in the open as you do, and understand that those of us make things private/friends-only at least have the guts to put our feelings out there to look at later or to let trusted persons help us figure things out. =)
[User Picture]
Date:October 20th, 2003 07:01 pm (UTC)
Heh. I knew this entry would bite me in the ass. . .

I'm not judging anyone by what they make "FO" or public or private. I just have to stop and scratch my head occasionally when I see certain things locked and other things open. . .

However, I do post things personal. There was the amusing episode about what turns your friends on that I got a real kick out of (I'd have posted the same in an unlocked forum, too). And then there're the questions (and you still owe me 5, young lady), where I've been known to answer some pretty risque stuff. And if it isn't risque enough for your liking, you aren't asking the right questions :)

And there are *all* the women I talk about. . . Rather extensively. What do you want, fantasies? It's been proven (by Dan Savage) that other peoples fantasies are boring and that no one would ever want to read them. I've never written one down anyway (no, I take that back. I wrote one down and it got rejected by an erotic story website, and I haven't had the urge to write one again. . .)

I can write about religion all day, but I have a feeling that religious writings are just as bad (if not worse) than fantasies. Who really wants to read about the feeling I get in ritual?

Like you, entertainment is a high priority in my writing. If I don't want to read it, I won't write it.
Date:October 21st, 2003 01:28 am (UTC)
Yeah, it's always so hard to guess tone in internet-writings... the only thing I really took issue with was this: I think a part of this came up when I watched raherakht move things from public to "FO" or private because her sister might be coming on. I think I realized at that point that I really don't care much what people think about me, so long as they've examined all the evidence and made an informed decision. :)

I didn't move my stuff b/c I cared what people think about me! I did it cause I'm not out of the broom closet yet. That's all. *knocks Mike upside the head and says "Duh!"* LOL j/k

I owe you questions?? What did you ask me? Or am I supposed to ask you? I forgot. =)

And yeah, you get brownie points (er, I mean boy scout points) for all the personal stuff I forgot about. And no, I don't think I really want to hear too much about your fantasies (since they most likely involve Tina and that's private- unless you have random ones about strangers, which is kinda kinky but cool!), but it is always nice to hear about your frustrations, worries, complaints, happy flirtings, etc. =) I guess I am so used to looking at your entries on LJ that I forget that you have a website that you put more stuff on!

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