October 18th, 2007
|09:07 am - Ritual Stress, and Unstressing|
Yesterday, well: it was rough. Mostly, I had a rite that I really wanted to go well last night, but which I was really, really worried about. I'd spent a lot of time working through songs and trying to get them ready to go, and to learn them, only to end up forgetting melodies and underestimating the time needed to learn them.
Work has put me under more stress than usual, as well: I've been working my ass off for five solid weeks with no end in sight. Combine that with my usual pre-ritual anxiety and you have one basket-case of a priest.
It wasn't until I began to ritually pack the altar items we'd need that I finally started to calm down. There's something about going through the rite and all the stuff that's remarkably calming on me.
In the end, it turned out not to be the quality of our singing that was vitally important to Cantlos, our "ritual of songs" for this Druid Moon; it was the amusement and joy I saw on people's faces around the fire. Between forgotten words, failed reading of the lyrics, and our Grove's general "I-don't-sing" sentiment, the rite was full of songs and laughter and new jokes. Honestly, it was rather fun.
Props to the Grove for that processional, btw. Definite props.
I wouldn't have ever dared to do a ritual with that many songs and that little rehearsal as a public rite, but as a Grove rite, it was a lot more relaxed and fun. It may not have been as excellent as we could have made it, but we certainly learned a lot from it (like next Sept., we're going to need a meeting where all we do is rehearse songs for this ritual, and write new ones).
And boy, my Trance Journal got a hell of an entry on last night. I'm still not sure what to think of all that, but I see a lot of room for improvement on induction and focus.
We've a long way to go toward excellence with this particular rite, but I think we can manage it well. We have a year to look at it again, and the omens were not at all bad, though I think that the Powers were perhaps a bit confused by the shear number of songs we used, and possibly by the number of people making up songs on the fly, a la druidkirk. The omens are speaking to me more strongly this morning.
A favourite part of the rite last night, though, was after the rite: sitting and singing/listening to karaoke with the Grove. I was there until 11:30 (when I figured our hosts might like to get some sleep. . .)
The next Druid Moon Rite, Samonios, is already in the formal planning stages now; I'll be chatting with the Grove tonight about what they'd like to do at the next Druid Moon. I suspect that removing the variable of *that many* songs will help a lot in the planning (and my subsequent stress). But I'm particularly looking forward to December's Druid Moon Rite, where we get to go back to doing initiations for a night.
That's something I really look forward to doing again.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "What if the Hokey-Pokey is All It Really Is About?", -JB
I had a really powerful trance, too, but what shocked me the most was my weird visualization of the gates.
I know I haven't tranced or visualized in a long time, and I know I am still struggling with the fact that something inside me spiritually is changing and impossible to make any sense of, but I didn't expect my perception of simple ADF ritual elements to be so unfamiliar. It was weird... I feel spiritually awkward right now, sort of like baby ostrich chick stumbling around and looking ridiculous.
I wrote about it in my LJ: you should read it and see if you can make sense of it.
I read it this morning, but I'm short on time to respond to entries (I suspect I'll do that later today, though, when I get a bit more time: I have a feeling it'll take more time than I have right now, and I want to think about it more from my perspective, too).
I have a feeling it may have to do with the "focus" thing I mentioned with trance induction. There are lots of reasons that the trancework may have gone like it did, but I think I have a good handle on why it went that direction.
FYI, I'm not unsurprised that you encountered Cernunnos. . . He was an option for this trance that I chose not to take at that time, though I was still thinking about it up to the point of starting the trance.
I have a couple of things I need to remember to tell you. I'm off to my class soon, so you should find it in your email tomorrow.
I'd like to get some pictures of you for my photography class. I'm thinking about coming down for Samhain. Are you gonna be busy all day that day? The last time I came down for the ritual it was pretty dark when the ritual actually started, I wanted to try to get some with the light and then some in the dark.
Heh, and most important, would you mind? And would you mind pictures during ritual (without flash)?
Come on down :) We'd love to have you, of course. And I'll be down there earlier, but not much: apparently, I have to meet the g/f's family for dinner that day. But I'd love to be photographed. So long as I get some of the pics :)
Awesome! I'm concered about disturbing the rite...so if it's too dark I might just have you pose for some shots after instead of trying to figure it out and try to be all devout at the same time XD
Um, we used about 8 songs in the rite. Plus many druidkirk
And I wouldn't say "blaming" so much as "citing". :)
Good to hear that your ritual went well even if it came out unexpectedly. I'm always nervous before a ritual. I have lots of packing and preparation lists to ease my anxiety but they don't always cover everything. Once we forgot to fill the well because it wasn't on the list, it is now.
Haha. When you forget to fill the well, it becomes a ritual action from the ritual plastic jug of ritual store-bought-spring-water.
Props to the Grove for that processional, btw. Definite props.
hawr. we (stephanie and I) hear that song (no lie) about 32 times...a day.
o . O
I definitely need to make more sense of it all; but, I will.
by the way, we said hello/goodbye to Ocean(a) and collected some waters for the Grove.
The druid moon rituals are quickly becoming some of my favorite. I love the fact the grove are doing these "for us" and it was a hoot for all of us...I think we need to do ritual in mime or dance at some point. Doing things like this really allows you to discover yourself and your viewpoint/relationship with each section of the ritual, this and the fool's rite really allowed us to grow closer together.