November 5th, 2007
|11:10 am - Oops. Maybe that explains how I act :)|
I don't often do memes anymore, but every so often one will catch my attention. Today's attention was caught by a quiz about Asperger's:
Your Aspie score: 109 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
Detailed results suitable for printing
It interests me that I generally fall in the category of "almost but not quite" when taking tests for signs of Asperger's.
Another test is here, on which I scored a 24 (after learning to read the script since it didn't calculate the score for me) with 32 being the threshold and 16 being the "normal" state for most folks.
I suspect that it's my "almost but not quite" status that keeps me trying these tests. I might think of it as a slight obsession I have, really: I know the score isn't going to change. I won't score higher or lower (at least, not by more than a few points here and there).
And yet, I still try them.
I suspect it has to do with my general inability to form relationships that are as meaningful as I think they should be (and don't get me started on the relationships where the other person thinks that it should be deeper). I suspect that what I'm really doing is seeking an explaination for a number of what I see are "defects" in my ability to accomplish many things socially. It'd be much easier for me, I think, to say, "I'm sorry I don't understand this, but the reason is X."
Logically speaking, I know I'm not an Aspie. I am not and I never will be. Sure, from time to time a trick I've picked up from talking over some of my similar issues with people who do have Asperger's has come in handy (e.g. having a script for social situations, learning how to show emotion through facial expression regardless of internal feeling, &c.), but I'm fortunate not to be reliant on them.
Still, I've missed out on a lot of things until pretty recently. I still don't have an emotional response to poetry or writing (I never really did, and my appreciation of poetry has become worse), and I discovered the concept of "young love" very late in life. The oddest thing, though, is that I don't feel as if I actually have "missed out." I just feel (perhaps coldly, perhaps "naturally" for me) that things I may have "missed" are simply not important.
Well, that was a bit of unintentional soul-searching. But it was intriguing to write.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: "The Wino and I Know", -JB
Thanks for sharing these. I scored 53 out of 200 so I'm soundly neurotypical. I thought it an interesting test (only took the 1st one) because a friend whose son as Asperger's, out of the blue, told me she thought I was too. Guess I'm just socially awkward ;)
It's becoming a more common diagnosis, but it's still rare to hear about it until someone you know is diagnosed.
it also interests me to see people diagnosing other people. I've noticed it's fairly common, actually.
|Date:||November 5th, 2007 05:16 pm (UTC)|| |
Whoo-hoo, 169/200, what do I win?
Well, so far, I suppose :) It's an interesting test, though I'm not sure how much of it really is accurate (though I did score about like I normally would on such a test).
I tried to take that first test a few days ago, but it told me I had given too many conflicting answers and it couldn't score me. Not sure what that says about me....
I don't think it's at all likely that I have it, am likely just introverted and not particularly sentimental, but I can never resist an online test. :)
I don't know what that says about you, but it's interesting that it couldn't score you, as I seem to have had many conflicting statements as well. I always do on these tests, though.
I'm not very sentimental, either.
|Date:||November 5th, 2007 07:45 pm (UTC)|| |
I think the conflicting answers thing refers to (or depends on) the fact that there are some cases where basically the same question is asked multiple times (e.g. "do you find it hard to tell the age of people," "do you find it easy to tell the age of people"). If you give opposite answers (or the same answer when the question is asked in opposite ways), your answers are conflicting and the assumption is that you're just being random.
|Date:||November 6th, 2007 04:12 am (UTC)|| |
Re: conflicting answers
That makes sense, I guess, but you know, sometimes when the question is worded differently it's really a different question and the answer is different.
I'm a bit surprised my results - it rated me 37/200 putting me in the "Normal" category.
|Date:||November 5th, 2007 08:57 pm (UTC)|| |
Ha, crap I got 24 as well.
|Date:||November 5th, 2007 10:16 pm (UTC)|| |
I think one of you and one of me is best any more and we could get into REAL trouble :)
We could never get into trouble.
My results were pretty close to yours. I got an Aspie score of 97, and a neurotypical score of 96. So I have traits of both. This is unsurprising to me as I'm quite sure my son came by his autism quite honestly from both parents having traits of it.
I got a similar right down the middle score. The fact that I'm socially awkward, weird, don't form connections with people, and my narrow intense interests seems to be what's setting things off. Though I'm sure the social problems have far less to do with any brain disorder than with a shitty life history. As for the other thing, I've never understood what is so wrong with having just a few things you're very passionate about. Why must I like a little of everything? Its never yet been explained in a way that made any sense.
It's nice to look for excuses to justify our actions at times. I think that's why so many people have a passing interest in psychology: it lets you go 'Oh look. I knew I behaved in that ridiculous way for a reason beyond my control.'
It gets even more interesting when you get into communication theory. Suddenly you begin to learn about why you behave the way you do in social situations, in groups and in economic markets, and while negotiating or attempting to find and keep a lover. It's both comforting and concerning to realize that patterns have been identified that can provide explanations for these things... For example, communication scientists can predict with eerie accuracy (I believe 95%) whether or not a couple will get divorced just from observing how they interact for less than an hour. It's freaky shit, reading that. Part of you doesn't want to know because you don't want to get caught up in a self-fulfilling prophecy, and yet part of you seeks explanations for failures or inabilities.
Learning about the way we handle conflict has been particularly odd for me. As someone who struggles with overcoming abusive cycles, I find it both liberating and terrifying to study psychological traps and interpersonal power dynamics. I find myself going, "Oh my gods, that's me" when I read about various dysfunctional things.
The key is remembering that just learning the reason for difficulties is not good enough: you should focus on ways to overcome or learn from them, or cope with them if you must. You should not work on stockpiling an arsenal of excuses. In your case, for example, you might benefit from switching from reading "Are you Aspie?" articles to "How can an Aspie person thrive?" type articles.
You know the more I see these neurological tests the more I begin to think that the diagnosis are just plain wrong. I think most pagan's perception of the world is suitably different from the population norm that we'd all get diagnosed with something.