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Fighting the War on Christmas, Christian soldiers strap on Amulets! - Chronarchy

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November 30th, 2007


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11:43 am - Fighting the War on Christmas, Christian soldiers strap on Amulets!
This morning, I noticed that World Net Daily is selling magical amulets to Christians. For those unfamiliar with the site, it's an evangelical Christian "news site" (really, "sensationalist news site" would better describe it, or possibly "tabloid") that claims "uncompromising journalism" and to be "a guardian of liberty," while usually just spewing the usual claptrap that comes from the general right edge of sanity.

Those of you who know my reading habits (and my magical interests) know that I'm really into amulets, and devouring any ancient magical literature I can find. Amulets, ancient Christian magic, and connections to the modern world really interest me deeply, so when I read this article, I recognized what WND was doing immediately.

Here's a quote from the article:
There's one more component of your Christmas-defense kit: It's the "Operation: Just Say 'Merry Christmas' Bracelet." They make great stocking stuffers, but why wait! Make your feelings about Christmas known to one and all. Wear them to pick up the kids, when you buy groceries and when you go to work. They're guaranteed to ward off the evil spirits of the ACLU grinches.

If you'd like to purchase one, you can pick up the little bracelets on their site (I've pictured one at the top right for your convenience). Hell, I'd love to find one in my stocking!

The characterizations of the ACLU "grinches" as "evil spirits" caught my eye. I'm reminded of when Christianity was a young religion, and the world was full of demons just waiting in pagan temples to posses some young, nubile and naive Christian. There's an old tale of a pair of Christian night watchmen who would walk past a temple each night, and each morning they required an exorcism, "just in case" the demons had come out of the temple and possessed them.

This isn't any different, really: by wearing this amulet, you can ward off evil spirits. WND has de-humanized the ACLU into something that is dangerous, but they have the answer! They have a nifty little device that you can buy to protect you from these dangerous things, for the power of Christ is best harnessed by a rubber wristband.

Honestly, I'm impressed with the WND's rhetoric here. Just look what they've done to those who carry an ACLU card, and to top that, they've offered a protection scheme to overpower their creation.

On the one hand, I see this as a genuine religious concern for a genuine religious group that has a genuine interest in protecting its congregants from dangerous spirits.

On the other hand, it really sounds like what the Ghostbusters were accused of: "These men are complete snowball artists. They use nerve and sense gases to induce hallucinations. The people think they're seeing ghosts and call these bozos, who conveniently show up to get rid of the problem with a fake electronic light show."

Well, okay: my other hand is sounding reasonable. . .

On a side note, I found out about this little warding kit that they're selling through their article about Alaska Airlines' "discrimination" against heterosexuals. I find it interesting that, in a world where the Religious Right has always sought to keep discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation legal, they're bitching and moaning when they perceive it going the other way (and, of course, it's not discrimination; they can get the same discount just by typing in the code: there're no ticket-counter screenings to determine "fondness for cock," at least, not that I'm aware of. . . But the TSA has been getting a bit more "personal" in searches for years).
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "The Wino and I Know", -JB

(14 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 30th, 2007 06:13 pm (UTC)
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It's also more sinister.

*cues rimshot*
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:avngrdnpriestes
Date:November 30th, 2007 05:01 pm (UTC)
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sadly I believe that my ex will make sure my kids wear them. He's that fanatical.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 30th, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
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Good to know he's spending his cash on such constructive things, eh?
[User Picture]
From:avngrdnpriestes
Date:November 30th, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC)
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You're telling me. Of course that just means that he is so desperate to get them to believe that way the only way he can is to make them wear a bracelet.

But of course that's why they are trying this tactic. Because they're desperate.
[User Picture]
From:wishesofastar
Date:November 30th, 2007 05:06 pm (UTC)
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I'm reminded of when Christianity was a young religion, and the world was full of demons just waiting in pagan temples to posses some young, nubile and naive Christian.

Whaddya mean, when it was young? According to some Christians, demons still wait for them, only now they're not limited to pagan temples; demons lurk inside your TV, on billboards, even inside your very mind, jumping at the chance to turn you to Satan's ends! You know that. :) BTW, semi-on-topic, have you read This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti? In my opinion, it's the best book out there to really demonstrate the fundamentalist Christian mindset.

there're no ticket-counter screenings to determine "fondness for cock,"

Not yet, maybe. Although I did get my boobs felt up by a TSA chick "for security reasons".
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 30th, 2007 06:11 pm (UTC)
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I haven't read that one. I ought to give it a shot :)

Although I did get my boobs felt up by a TSA chick "for security reasons".

w00t. Just. . . w00t.
[User Picture]
From:wishesofastar
Date:December 1st, 2007 06:59 am (UTC)
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It's a great read. Until you realize that lots of people read it as fact, not fantasy. Then I shudder.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 30th, 2007 05:40 pm (UTC)
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Wow, I wish I had money to waste making stupid crap like this. Must be nice.
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From:chironcentaur
Date:November 30th, 2007 05:42 pm (UTC)
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Sorry, that was me. Don't know how I got signed out of LJ. Must've been those evil anti-Christmas demons. :-)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:November 30th, 2007 06:10 pm (UTC)
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They are everywhere, after all. In fact, what's that right behind you?!?!? And in your computer screen!?!? And in your PANTS!?!?!?!?
[User Picture]
From:zylch
Date:November 30th, 2007 09:20 pm (UTC)
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A TSA agent, apparently...
[User Picture]
From:sweet_thyme
Date:December 2nd, 2009 07:20 pm (UTC)
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Although I did get my boobs felt up by a TSA chick "for security reasons".

had that happen on the way back to WI from RI. my underwire set the metal detector and wand off.

/facepalm

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