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Mice that don't eat peanut butter, and the best Yule gift ever. . . - Chronarchy

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December 12th, 2007


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10:01 am - Mice that don't eat peanut butter, and the best Yule gift ever. . .
This entry will contain what some of you consider to be sacrilege. And some of you will think it hilarious.

Let me begin at the beginning with a quick recap of how we got to the past two weeks:
  1. There is a hole in my house
  2. Mice had been entering through said hole
  3. We have caught most of the mice
  4. There is one mouse left

Yesterday, I spent my lunch hour beneath my deck doing the final sealing the window as best I could in the rain and mud. I will need to do more work to fully seal the hole, but I believe that the mice, at least for now, no longer have access to the innards of the house.

It is this one mouse, then, that is left. We were catching mice at a rate of 1.2 each day in late October, and until today, we could not determine *why* we could not catch this last mouse.

We know this mouse is a female, because she's nesting. We can hear her. In the walls. Nesting.

Boy mice are lazy-ass sons-of-bitches. They don't nest. And girl mice tend to nest when they get pregnant, which leads us to many deeper issues that I'm sure you can all guess.

We cannot poison the mouse: we have cats, and a rat-poisoned mouse, if found by the cats, will poison the cats. The mouse has not been caught by the cats, because I can't let the cats roam free in the house throughout the day due to Tina's plants and the presence of Tina's birds. Thus, our strongest weapon in the game of cat-and-mouse (i.e. the freakin' cats) is unavailable during most of our turns.

Tina won't let me use an inhumane trap, which is fine by me: the PETA traps Tina purchased are actually *amazingly* effective when it comes to most mice. (I do own a couple of "Lucifer" mousetraps, though, thanks to viedansante's sense of humour).

This morning, Tina discovered exactly why our traps, baited with peanut butter and a dog biscut, had been ineffective on this particular mouse up to this point: this mouse eats only fine, dark chocolate.

I should have known when I found her doing the backstroke in Tina's Mexican hot chocolate mix, now that I look back on it. I also should have caught her then, when she was frozen and staring at me through the plastic baggie the chocolate was in. I thought, wrongly, that I couldn't catch her at that point, that a simple grab wouldn't do it. Instead, I watched to see how she'd gotten to where she was. I haven't had a chance to get her since.

This morning, though, I was informed that somehow, she had gotten up three shelves in the pantry and gotten into Tina's dark chocolate bars from Trader Joe's, possibly by climbing, but more likely by either an acrobatic jump of approximately two feet, or by gnawing patiently through a wall and then through the back of the cabinet. Apparently, the girl has some fine, fine taste. And she'll go to many insane lengths to satisfy that craving.

I now have a plan. A dastardly, evil plan, if I do say so myself.

On Dec. 1, I received a box of fancy chocolates from druidkirk for Yule. I've eaten a couple, but the plan was to bring the majority of them in to work and let others have whatever Maggie didn't want.

Now, though, the plan has changed. If no mouse has been caught this evening, the bait in the trap is getting a serious upgrade. I know what the mouse likes: dark chocolate. I know where the mouse is nesting: next to the heating ducts. I know where the mouse can and will get: all over the basement and in the cupboards.

Really, it all combines into the chocolate being the perfect Yule gift, in my little twisted mind, should this work. There's nothing I'd like more than to be rid of this mouse with a taste for expensive chocolate.

(My thank-you note to druidkirk for the chocolate, which was going to go in today's mail, has had to be altered a tad as a result of this new, exciting development.)

I know this is a mouse after some of your own hearts. When I catch her (and I will catch her, trust me), is there anyone who would like to keep her? If not, well, at least she'll have a very fulfilling last indoor meal of very fine chocolate.
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "On a Slow Boat to China", -JB

(40 comments Leave a comment)

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[User Picture]
From:angelofastheny
Date:December 12th, 2007 03:23 pm (UTC)
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I'd love to at least see her when I'm up in Columbus next week but I don't think Southwest would be very keen on me taking a mouse on a place. Those factors aside, I would if I could but I hope she goes to a good home anyway.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 12th, 2007 03:42 pm (UTC)
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I brought Hudson home on a Southwest plane, in a House of Blues sippie cup that I bought in Chicago when I caught her there.

I just didn't tell anyone I had her.
[User Picture]
From:angelofastheny
Date:December 12th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC)
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*Plane, you know. Because I'm flying up to see Carmen and I also don't know if my rats would play well with something so tiny. :D
[User Picture]
From:duriyah
Date:December 12th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC)
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That is a mouse with good taste! I'm curious, though, that she's able to eat it. Chocolate's not supposed to be good for dogs, and mice are much smaller than dogs, so I'm surprised it doesn't make her sick or kill her.

Anyway, good hunting!
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 12th, 2007 03:52 pm (UTC)
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Apparently, chocolate is perfectly okay with mice and rats. I was also unaware of this (and, truthfully, somewhat disappointed that it wouldn't act as a viable rat poison), and was surprised to discover this taste was perfectly natural for her to have.

Thanks!
[User Picture]
From:qryztufre
Date:December 12th, 2007 04:36 pm (UTC)

*pokes you with the random compliment stick*

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Thank you for being you...
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 12th, 2007 04:44 pm (UTC)
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*grins* Any time?
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 12th, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC)
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N.VA is about 4-5 hours from me, here in Columbus, OH.

We won't kill her. We'll just put her out in the cold. With a tummy full of Godiva chocolate. :)
[User Picture]
From:viedansante
Date:December 12th, 2007 04:56 pm (UTC)
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I'm sure you can imagine my thoughts on this situation.

And, I'd totally forgotten those mousetraps.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 12th, 2007 06:49 pm (UTC)
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I'm still not sure why you got them for me. But I understand the amusement, I believe. They're somewhere in the house, to remain unused for all eternity. :)
[User Picture]
From:whereismypraire
Date:December 12th, 2007 05:31 pm (UTC)

rofl

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I think I cracked up around the line "this mouse eats only fine, dark chocolate."

so needed that laugh.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 12th, 2007 06:48 pm (UTC)

Re: rofl

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It is pretty damn hilarious :)
[User Picture]
From:road_trip_judi
Date:December 12th, 2007 05:41 pm (UTC)
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You're going to bait a mouse with perfectly good chocolate? Isn't that technically chocolate abuse? ;)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 12th, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
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Dark chocolate-encased hazelnut praline is what we're starting with, as I just was home for lunch and re-baited the trap.

Abuse, perhaps: but she won't think so!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 12th, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC)
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I would. Seems a whole piece of chocolate is too heavy for the trap, though, so I popped a half-piece in.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:December 12th, 2007 06:42 pm (UTC)

you are wrong, monsieur...

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Gender has no bearing on a mouse's ability to make a nest. ~T
[User Picture]
From:solemn_druid
Date:December 12th, 2007 06:44 pm (UTC)

Re: you are wrong, monsieur...

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I wonder if I could have a mousey...

a mousey....

lemme think on that. tell me when you catch her.
From:apeiron_gaia
Date:December 12th, 2007 09:43 pm (UTC)
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You should turn this into a short story.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 12th, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
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Ha. Only if I win :)
[User Picture]
From:tlachtga
Date:December 12th, 2007 09:57 pm (UTC)
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Manawydan feels your pain.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 12th, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
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Indeed, I'm sure he does.

(I hope your pain has subsided some?)
[User Picture]
From:3starsinmyeyes
Date:December 13th, 2007 12:14 am (UTC)
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I would feel quite honored to have such a mousie as a pet. One whose chocolate addiction rivals my own, alas, I have 3 cats that would be entirely to happy to eat said mousie.

Good luck finding her a home.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 13th, 2007 01:13 pm (UTC)
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Well, they'd probably get their own chocolate contact high from this mouse. . .
[User Picture]
From:joyful_storm
Date:December 13th, 2007 01:09 am (UTC)
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Dark chocolate? You got off lucky. Just think how much messier it would be to bait a mousetrap with pickles, ice cream or other stereotypical off-the-wall pregnancy cravings. . .
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 13th, 2007 01:13 pm (UTC)
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Heh! I had thought of the pregnancy cravings, but not thought about how they might interact with the traps!
[User Picture]
From:garan_du
Date:December 13th, 2007 03:32 am (UTC)
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On Dec. 1, I received a box of fancy chocolates from druidkirk for Yule.

It wasn't a Monty Python box of fancy chocolates, was it? No crunchy frogs or lark's vomit?
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:December 13th, 2007 01:11 pm (UTC)
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Afraid not, though that would be quite amusing.

Of course, given my feelings on chocolate in general, I'd probably have eaten about as many things out of curiosity as I have out of taste. . .
(Deleted comment)

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