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Ár nDraíocht Féin
Three Cranes
Chaos Matrix

June 21st, 2008

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05:03 pm - Frustration
Some days, I get frustrated with my progress through the ADF Clergy Training Program. It's hard (and it just gets harder as it goes on). I just stood up, my brain hurting from trying to manage answering a question, and walked around in a circle, not really knowing why I got up in the first place. There's a specter of fear in my mind telling me that I just can't answer them, and that I'm simply not good enough.

Right now, I'm stuck on Divination 2. There, I need to provide nine divinations I've done for others. Right now, I only have access to notes for three. I cannot find others (though I know I've done others).

So, if anyone needs any sort of divination work done, please let me know. It would aid me greatly to do some divination for you.

I'm within two questions of finishing Divination 2 and one question of finishing Trance 1. I have nearly all the information I need to finish the biggest question in Trance 2, as well, but actually doing it is really hard for me. It's so hard for me to see the end but to feel like I simply cannot get there. I feel like Zeno's frog.

Well, back to work: complaining about it doesn't make it finish itself. I really, really want to finish Trance 1 today, and get a solid start on Trance 2. Perseverance is the virtue of today.

(If I could choose two "moods" for this post, it would be "frustrated, hopeful." But, alas, I cannot.)
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: "The Captain and the Kid", -JB
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(48 comments Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:June 22nd, 2008 02:32 pm (UTC)
Oh, I know that I *can* do it. That is probably part of what's so frustrating about it.

Really, though, it's a lot more than "just paperwork": I've learned so much from doing it, and I've gotten so much further than I ever would have gotten without it.

Most of my learning as a priest has actually been via the DP and CTP, and particularly through talking about it.

And I could always use more divination. It's really less about needing more and more about needing the practice. Are you and your PG coming down for ComFest next weekend?
[User Picture]
Date:June 22nd, 2008 04:07 pm (UTC)
I wasn't trying to make it less, but I think you know that. I meant it's more 'paperwork' in a formality sense, I know it's a huge journey :)

I'll ask the PG today at Study Group. Things go all screwed up with our plans for Midsummer.

And I'll try to decide on my question, I have a few things...but I'm not sure which yet, then I'll email you.
[User Picture]
Date:June 22nd, 2008 04:27 pm (UTC)
I know :)

We're doing enough ritual in the next two weeks that you could pretty much stop by whenever you want and catch a ritual of ours. . .
[User Picture]
Date:June 23rd, 2008 03:31 am (UTC)
We are planning on coming to ComFest. :)

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