July 7th, 2008
|03:44 pm - Jimmy Buffett, on World Peace|
A lot of people like to post lyrics to songs. I can't read them very well (long story, having to do with blunt-force trauma to the head), so I generally skip them.
As I was listening to the music today, though, an old Buffett piece came up. It's called "Today's Message," and you can find it on Feeding Frenzy. It's done, of course, in a sermon-style (with backups and the audience singing "hallelujah's" and "amen's" in the background). For reference, this album was released in 1990, so that gives some historical perspective. Here's my favourite section:
"And world peace? I've got an answer for world peace. We take the money that it'd cost us to build just one B-1 bomber, you know that one that doesn't work? We change it into five dollar bills. We put all of this money into bags and we fly over the Atlantic Ocean, past Europe (because they're getting their shit together anyway). We drop this money on the Russian people. All those little tiny pictures of Abraham Lincoln come tumblin' down out of the sky.
I want them to feel those sawbucks in their hands. You know how your money feels when you accidentally leave it in your blue jeans and you take it out and it's all warm and soft, oooh!
Well we let those Russian people hang on to that money for about a week and then we fly back over there. We fill our airplanes full of mail order catalogs from L.L. Bean. From up in Columbus, Sporty's Pilot Shop. And Victoria's Secret!
The Russian people have this money in their hand, the catalogs come down. They look at those pictures on the opening pages of the Victoria's Secret catalog. (Not back in the outdoor section: you know what I'm talking about, right?)
They got the money, they got the catalogs: they're going to get the idea. They send all the money back to us to buy the stuff. We have full employment. There's world peace, and the Russians have crotch-less underwear through the twenty-first century!"
Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Music: "Coconut Telegraph", -JB
Imagine a printed page with all the lines in a poem on it.
Cut each one out.
Hold them all above your head.
And that's how poetry and song lyrics look to me when I first see them.
I can write poetry or short-line-break lines, but I cannot read it well, at least not without a massive amount of concentration. I consider poetry to be a mathematical enterprise, however, which is about the only way I can truly understand it, and why there is so little variation anymore in meter I use.
I generally take prose, give it some form of meter, and use that for liturgical work now, breaking the lines at natural pauses, because most people read liturgy in short lines. Long bits of text are unsightly to most readers of Neo-Pagan liturgy.
I hate it when my emails get reformatted into 72-character lines, even: I really cannot read it as well as I can longer lines of text.
There's world peace, and the Russians have crotch-less underwear through the twenty-first century!"
Obviously J.B. never bought VS's panties. For one thing, the frilly ones require at least 3 $5 bills, more like 4. And they only last a few wearings. Maybe if they only wore the pair once a decade, it would have lasted into the 21st century. Bah.
Ah, you see though that the dollar was a lot stronger in 1990, so five dollars in 1990 would be equal to $8.26 today, and as we are all well aware of, there is a drastic difference in the quality of crotch-less panties that are five dollars today ($3.11 in 1990 dollars) and $8.26 today. However, the question that still must be answered is that will Russians wear crotch-less panties during the long siberian winters, and if so, should we invest in merkins?
(inflation data via: http://www.westegg.com/inflation/
, too lazy right now to do a historical analysis of the exchange rates of the dollar to the ruble when factoring each contries inflation...)
VC sells crotchless panties?
Interesting theory... might be fun to play around with variations on that theme. *grin*