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Vision? Yes, I have that now. - Chronarchy

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July 30th, 2008


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05:24 pm - Vision? Yes, I have that now.

MJD, grade 4
Yesterday, I received new glasses. While this is not really an earth shattering point for most people, I would point out that approximately 1.5% of my LJ friends have ever seen me wear glasses. The first two are red_sput, my brother, and whitmanschild, the LJ friend outside my family who has known me for the longest (and still, for some reason, subjects himself to reading my blog). These are the only two people who have ever seen me regularly wear my glasses in public. withak53 is the only other person on this list who has seen me in my glasses semi-regularly at any point.

I ceased wearing glasses in 1993, when I received my first contacts. I very rarely wore them outside my house until college, when I stopped wearing them completely in front of other people.

In fact, for eleven years, only the women I have actually had sex with have seen me in my glasses. By some freak accident, they all have. Of course, given the low number of women I've slept with (no, I'm not giving that number out, but I'll bet you know it), I suppose it's not all that surprising. (This makes for an amusing litmus test: "So, seen chronarchy wear his glasses?" "Oh, yeah. . ." *porn groove music plays in background*)

Until today.

Now, lest you think that me not wearing my glasses is just some sort of vanity, let me assure you, it is totally not. How can I prove this? Simple. Just look at the state the damn things are in:


Yep, that's what they look like today.


While I'm proud to have finally found a good use for the coefficient of static friction as applied to corrective lenses (sounds like a paper topic. . .), I have to admit that they were nearly unwearable. Still, I am the kind of guy to persevere. As a result, I might mention the timeline of these glasses.
  • They pretty much looked like that, gunk-wise, when I got to OSU my freshman year (1997). By then, they were already at least three years old, possibly as much as five years old.
  • I lost a variety of screws (not that kind) the first three years of college, replacing them on occasion, but rarely from necessity: more out of a sick desire to keep the glasses limping along.
  • The paperclip was the first thing to be added, in 2000. The screw was stripped out, and so replacement wasn't an option. I bent the crap out of a paperclip and chopped it down to size in the OSU's Fencing armoury using some of the handy tools there.
  • The other leg went in 2003. That leg just flat out broke, leaving me with no way of repairing it short of getting new frames. But I was a Boy Scout, and so went through my workbench looking for some way to do a round lashing, but thread wouldn't cut it. So electrical tape it was, and to maintain the length, I used a toothpick as a splint.
  • Finally, one night while watching Garbage on PBS' Soundstage, (July 6, 2006) the right lens finally popped out. The screw stripped, I tried soldering it back into place a couple of times, but settled on fishing wire as the best bet. This particular break pissed me off, because Shirley Manson is feckin' hot, and thus I naturally really wanted to hear and see the television.
And that's how the glasses got into this state.

So, really, I can't be blamed for not wanting to wear them. They constantly fell off my face and were really only good enough to get me from the sink to bed, and possibly to read a bit. Still, I persevered.

For years, Tina had been bugging me to get new glasses. I don't blame her. I'd have bugged me too. So this year I finally did.

Maggie picked out the glasses, and now I'm wearing them. In public. Mostly because I can rely on them to stay on my face. And the prescription is not old enough to drive.

And let's face it: glasses rock.

So, without further ado:

Current Location: Southeast of Disorder
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: "First Look", -JB

(75 comments Leave a comment)

Comments:


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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 30th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
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*snickers* Always happy to bring a smile :)

Thanks. And that green gunk is really, really odd.

[User Picture]
From:road_trip_judi
Date:July 30th, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC)
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Hubba hubba.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 30th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
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Hehe. Thanks. I've been told once today that they're "sexy." But I don't know how that works, exactly.
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From:lesyoyo
Date:July 30th, 2008 09:42 pm (UTC)
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Looking good! Very do able.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 30th, 2008 10:16 pm (UTC)
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*grins*
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From:rhiannon76
Date:July 30th, 2008 09:47 pm (UTC)
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Rrrawr! Nice pick-- I'm a fan of rectangular frames.

I'm still startled every time I see a pic of you with long hair. You'll always be a short-haired guy in my mind, for some reason.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 30th, 2008 10:14 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, long hair is weird to me, too. Very weird. I'm a short-haired guy in my mind, too.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 30th, 2008 10:15 pm (UTC)
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Indeed. I make it a policy never to say things like, "those glasses are sexy," but rather, "Wow, you're sexy in glasses." :)
[User Picture]
From:peaceful_fox
Date:July 30th, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC)
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AHHHH. You look like my first husband when he was your age! I mean seriously.

BTW, I didn't divorce him because of his looks! ;-)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 30th, 2008 10:15 pm (UTC)
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Good to know :)

*laughs*
[User Picture]
From:ariansdreams
Date:July 30th, 2008 09:53 pm (UTC)
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Yay for long-haired men w/ glasses!
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 30th, 2008 10:13 pm (UTC)
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Yay!
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From:rfunk
Date:July 30th, 2008 09:58 pm (UTC)
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Hmm, first the long hair, now public wearing of glasses? Hmm...

I think my eleven-year experience has been approximately opposite yours in this regard, though probably not entirely.

And what, no twist-tie wires in those old glasses? They've been quite useful to me. And I think my last pair are now held together with heat-shrink tubing.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 30th, 2008 10:13 pm (UTC)
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I didn't have twist-ties, I don't think. I suspect the fishing wire was the best way to keep part of it together: if nothing else, it can hold a few pounds of pull. :)
[User Picture]
From:suicidekttn
Date:July 30th, 2008 10:07 pm (UTC)
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Very nice. I like that style of glasses, I have them too, though mine are broke so I've have to wear my backup pair which I don't like as much. You always look good, but I like the glasses on you. I do have to admit, I have a fondness for geeky guys in glasses with electrical tape though :)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 30th, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
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Hehe. I am hoping that I don't break these anytime soon: they were very expensive.
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From:qorinda
Date:July 30th, 2008 10:51 pm (UTC)
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Hm, for some reason, that picture sort of makes me think of John Lennon. And, well, I've always liked that look. ;)

People don't usually see ME in glasses either, but mostly because every time I try to wear them, they seem to get in my way. And now, as I get older, I have the added detriment of not being able to see both near and far away at the same time....

Edited at 2008-07-30 10:53 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 31st, 2008 12:41 am (UTC)
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I've gotten the Lennon comment a few times, especially with my slightly rounded sunglasses :)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 31st, 2008 12:42 am (UTC)
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Thank you :)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 31st, 2008 12:42 am (UTC)
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*grins* Thanks :)
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From:sparkliedragon
Date:July 30th, 2008 11:22 pm (UTC)
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I agree with Sati. Seriously hot with the long hair and glasses.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 31st, 2008 12:42 am (UTC)
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The long hair seems to be. . . workin' for some folks. . . :)
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From:triskele
Date:July 30th, 2008 11:33 pm (UTC)
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I've done the paperclip thing a few times. Not fishing wire, but dental floss too.

What cracked me up about your 4th grade pic was not you, but the background - I'm pretty sure some of my siblings had the same one. Like elementary school kids randomly float in space, but NASA managed to snap a photo of one.
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 31st, 2008 12:43 am (UTC)
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Dude, that was the geekiest background ever. It's the one the kids into science always got :)
[User Picture]
From:shes_unreal
Date:July 30th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC)
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Muy sexifino!
[User Picture]
From:chronarchy
Date:July 31st, 2008 12:43 am (UTC)
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Thanks!

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