November 3rd, 2003
|05:27 pm - Did they see me sneaknin' down the fire escape at two last night?|
I'm tilting at windmills, it seems. Always have been, but that's because I know that those windmills really might be giants. . .
I have a terrible cold. I'm shocked I made it through the ritual last night. I have to admit, about 10 minutes before I felt like curling up and dying. I still kind of do.
But then, that's what separates me from everyone else. The feeling isn't worth dealing with.
I suppose one of these days I'm going to get an important feeling that isn't supposed to be ignored, and I'm going to die from it. But until then, I'm going to keep ignoring them.
My dictionary is so much more useful than any stupid spellcheck. Yeah, spellcheck is easy, but you don't *learn* anything from it. Curse LJ's spellcheck, constantly calling me out!
I'm thinking about that ritual. We sacrificed a good load of silver (and other various precious metals). The kids in attendance all helped me throw it into the river afterwords. They seem to really like doing that. Plus, it gets them involved. Winning tiny souls for Pagan Gods. . . Yep, that's what I'm all about.
We need a chant for when the wreath goes around next year. It was too quiet and I'm afraid people were shifting about, mentally and physically.
The thing I dislike about leading rituals is that I can never tell how things are going. Since I don't feel the energy flow so much (except when I'm working something specific that involves me and the Gods alone), I can't tell if anyone else can get it. That's why I fish for comments after these things.
I used up quite a bit more than I expected to. All the Waters of Life were drunk (I had quite a bit of them myself, since you can't dump those on the ground), I was out of oil by the end (that never happens), and I had to re-offer the beer for the ancestors, 'cuz it was forgotten during their sacrifice.
In all, though, this was a pretty cheap ritual, and we brought in a good amount.
The omens were good. A bit troubling, but all around not bad. You can see the Runes on the right. The key was an omen that Lilith saw later that night, when she was driving home. There was a stag off to the side of the road, and she took that to mean that Cernunnos was watching.
I tried to avoid the script as much as possible. I didn't get as far as I wanted to, mainly because I can't get the order of ritual down all the way, and I'm deathly afraid of forgetting to thank someone. That would not be a good idea. I need to spend more time with the liturgy. Maybe I should start recording it.
Speaking of, I found a recording of my Dedicant Oath that I used to memorize it. Of course, my script was stolen (by you-know-who) and I completely forgot what I was going to say, but now I can record it into .wav format and put that on my website. :)
The Grove has grown 50% since Wellspring. 4 more members and we hit 100% more than at Wellspring, which is (of course) occasion for a great boast :)
Brian's back in town. I might have to try to get together with him.
Boy, won't Tina love that. But I think she'd understand.
Paid a crap-load of money to my credit card bill. Not as much as I thought I would, because I don't have all my money coming in that I wanted to for the month yet. That'll change shortly. Then it's off to the bank, because I have to cover my mortgage, too :) I'm fortunate that I don't have any sort of serious balance on that thing. I've seen what it can do to people. I'm just over budget, but I can bring it in line by Christmas, I think. Especially since I don't have to buy everything out of my own pocket for the Grove anymore. That was, probably, one of the biggest drains on my resources. (And I greatly appreciate the help I've gotten from my Grovies since we started this whole thing.)
My car nearly overheated getting to the garage this morning. Now I'm more than a bit worried.
Ah, well. Off to get home. Been a good weekend. Catch you kids later.
Current Mood: quixotic
Current Music: "Volcano", -JB
The thing I dislike about leading rituals is that I can never tell how things are going. Since I don't feel the energy flow so much (except when I'm working something specific that involves me and the Gods alone), I can't tell if anyone else can get it.
i'm the same way. about energy flow, that is, since i've never led a ritual (though i will be doing so at imbolc-- ack! only 2 months to prepare!) but i was co-tending the fire in black bear grove's ritual last night, and, being a neophyte firetender, i spent more of the time worrying about whether it was time to feed the fire again than tuning in closely to the ritual. on the other hand, being focused on the fire helped keep me from mentally going over and over and over and over my invocations before doing them, which probably was a good thing.
I hope you feel better ... Don't be like my dad and only go to the doctor when you're having symptoms that could be portents of a nearby death (and grammatically that sucks, but I need to sleep, so that's life).